Because You Love To Hate Me
Page 6
And no, I don’t want to study together, because the last time we studied together, we had sex and now you’re asking me if you can go to Prom with my best friend.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Calling you.
Thursday
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Lance said you studied together last night for Merlin’s.
You should have told me.
I was up till 2 a.m. googling whether “Hades and Persephone” has a happy ending.
(I say no. Girl gets kidnapped, ping-pongs between two God brothers, and goes to hell.)
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Studied together? More like Lance gave me some ideas for the essay question. (There was no ping-ponging btw, and she does get to leave hell for a few months at a time. I’d say the ending is happy. Girl gets to be a *queen*.)
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Lance said he was going to your house
Texted him for like 3 hours after and he didn’t answer
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Forgot my book at school, Sherlock. He came over to let me borrow his. Since when is Lance your best buddy
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Next time invite me.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
I SAID IF YOU TOLD ANYONE WE HANG OUT I’D HURT YOU.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
I didn’t tell him we hooked up. I told him we studied.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
STUDIED = HOOKED UP YOU IDIOT
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Hey :) Why don’t we blow off first two periods and study for Merlin’s at my house?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Lance and I are at the gym.
Trying to get him swole but he keeps texting during sets ha ha.
Says it’s the girl he’s taking to Prom but won’t tell me who
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
I’M NOT GOING TO PROM WITH YOU.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
You said you’d think about it when we were cuddling.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
You know how Merlin talked about “Persephone’s Crisis”? i.e. Persephone could never exist as a person outside of her mother until Hades took her to hell? Well, maybe she needed Hades to take her to hell for her to find out what she really wanted.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
So you’re Persephone. I’m Hades. And hell is Prom?
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
I should have never let you come over last night.
Or any night.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Then why did you?
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Because when I’m with you I don’t feel lonely.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
I’m the only guy you feel safe with. You’re the only girl I trust. Art will never see you the way I do. Art will only see what you want him to see. You and him have that in common. Why do you think you both keep me a secret? Ha.
I’m the only one who knows the real Art and the real Gwen.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Just because we hooked up doesn’t mean you know the real me.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
The real Gwen can’t take four steps without knocking into something and peeking around for someone to blame it on. The real Gwen puts concealer on the tiny birthmark on her cheek because she can’t stand a flaw and yet is drawn to me, whose face is a mess.
The real Gwen has a room full of well-thumbed books and yet acts barely literate in class so boys won’t think she’s a nerd. The real Gwen is complex and weird and cool and yet pretends to be shallow and simple and empty. I see through all of it. Real Gwen is the one I love.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
It says you read my last text.
Take me to Prom, Gwen. Who cares what people say?
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Say something.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
You can’t understand. Camelot is the only place where people still *believe* in me.
Please, Lance. Art is who I’m meant to be with.
Let me and him go to Prom.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
You got it. See ya
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Thank you, Lance. It means a lot.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Hey Art, looks like Lance is fine with it!! Says he’d be happy for you and me to go together. So . . . what time are you picking me up? :) We can just go in your car instead of some cheesy limo
FROM: DAD
TO: GWEN
Guinevere, please give Cara the keys to the storage unit when she comes for them. They’re doing the appraisal of your mother’s clothes and jewelry today.
FROM: MORGAN
TO: GWEN
Hiiiii lovely, still no sign of your limo $??
FROM: GWEN
TO: MORGAN
Omg meant to write you—my date wants me to go in his car. Ugh :( Btw, if my first payment somehow goes through, mind sending it back to me?
FROM: ASSISTANT GIRL
TO: GWEN
Hello, Guinevere, it’s Cara Dos Santos. Your father said you’d be expecting me.
I’m outside Lioncelle Storage with the appraiser. Do you have the keys?
FROM: GWEN
TO: ASSISTANT GIRL
No.
FROM: ASSISTANT GIRL
TO: GWEN
He didn’t leave them with you?
FROM: GWEN
TO: ASSISTANT GIRL
Nope.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
You’re being quiet :)
Wait till you see my brand-new Prom dress
Would be fun if we could get you a tie to match!
** LIONCELLE STORAGE **
SECURITY ALERT—Dear Guinevere, Our records indicate the removal of one vintage gown from your storage unit early this morning. Please confirm . . .
FROM: GWEN
TO: MORGAN
Hey . . . you seen Art around?
FROM: MORGAN
TO: GWEN
He’s probably with Lance.
Lance lives near me and Art’s always there
FROM: GWEN
TO: MORGAN
Since when??
FROM: MORGAN
TO: GWEN
Since forever. Why do you think the Knights leave Lance alone even tho he’s a loser
He’s Art’s BFF
FROM: GWEN
TO: ELAINE
911 Are Lance and Art still in the gym? Art isn’t answering my texts.
FROM: ELAINE
TO: GWEN
Been in the gym all morning. Haven’t seen either of them.
FROM: DAD
TO: GWEN
Guinevere, Cara says you just told her you don’t have the key! And yet the storage unit informed me you stopped by to take one of your mother’s gowns early this morning—a gown that was to be appraised and sold TODAY. Call me IMMEDIATELY.
FROM: GWEN
TO: DAD
Let’s have this conversation when we’re on the same continent.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Didn’t you say you were at the gym with Lance?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Hey! What’s up?
Lance and I blew off first couple periods so we could study
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Um. Okay. You said you were at the gym. But we’re all cool for Prom, right?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN<
br />
Actually Lance thinks it’d be funny if he and I just went together We hate Prom and we want everyone in that bet pool to lose Ha ha
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Ha ha
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
You just unleashed the fires of hell.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Not even sweating.
Friday
FROM: ELAINE
TO: GWEN
TELL ME YOU’VE SEEN IT.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ELAINE
? Went for a run when I got up. Haven’t been near phone.
FROM: ELAINE
TO: GWEN
Someone started a Joust account for @Excalibur and posted a bunch of pics of Art side by side with limp noodles. Everyone’s saying Art has “issues.” That’s why he’s never been with a girl. That’s why he’s never asked you out!
FROM: GWEN
TO: ELAINE
Oh how rude! Poor Art.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Pick up your phone. NOW.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Getting warm, isn’t it?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Lance is saying you started @Excalibur.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
ME? I’m the one trying to take it down! Lance is just mad I wouldn’t go to Prom with him—that’s why he’s being cruel.
Art, whoever did this to you is a real cockroach. My cousin works at Joust. I’m texting her to see if she can delete the account. Ask Nadia Croes. She’s on the cheer team and in your homeroom and will tell you how hard I’ve been working to fix this.
FROM: GWEN
TO: NADIA
Listen—whatever Art Pendragon asks you about me in homeroom, say yes, otherwise I’ll tell the girls you were in the bathroom with Boris Polanski at halftime instead of helping us sell Popsicles
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Ok I asked Nadia and she backed you up.
Sorry I doubted you. Thanks for your help.
It’s just weird coming to school where I used to have fun and now I’m being bullied by someone I don’t even know.
Lance still swears it’s you.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Lance and I have very different definitions of what it means to be your friend.
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
All the Knights are on my case.
Saying I’m a virgin and all that.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
They’re pissed that I like you instead of them. Besides, I think it’s romantic if you’re saving yourself.
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Who I hook up with isn’t anyone’s business.
But I don’t hook up to get off or to tell people or to feel better about myself or because I feel lonely on a Friday night.
I want real love.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
That’s . . . amazing.
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
People are sticking wet noodles to my backpack
Wtf
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Mmm, probably isn’t the best time for you to be going to Prom with Lance, is it
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Ha
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
For all we know, he’s the one who started @Excalibur
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Don’t be stupid
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
I’m serious.
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Lance du Lac is my boy.
He’d take a bullet for me.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Maybe he’s in love with you. Maybe he thinks if he can’t have you no one else will. Or that humiliating you in front of the whole school means he can be there to comfort you. Or all of the above.
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
And here I thought you two were hooking up ha ha
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
WHAT??? DID HE SAY THAT????
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
No ha ha chill out
It’s just you two avoid each other at school but then hang out secretly
Usually means you’re hooking up
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
One could say the same thing about you and Lance.
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
That’s low
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Like you said, who you hook up with is none of my business :)
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
I’m just not gonna show up to Prom at all
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
That won’t solve anything. Look, think of it like the story from Merlin’s: I’m Persephone, you’re Persephone’s mother, and Lance is Hades. You need to *fight* for me.
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Huh? Doesn’t Persephone end up being Hades’s queen?
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
OK, fine. Then you’re Hades. Whatever. Look, you need to show up with a girl who will shut everyone up. The girl every boy at Camelot Prep wants to be with.
Taking me to Prom will fix everything.
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
But why would Lance hurt me
I don’t get it
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Why do you keep asking me about Lance?
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Art, you there?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
You really think Lance started the Joust
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
I think it’s time the King of Camelot had a queen.
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
No one will mess with me ever again.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Exactly :) See you at lunch
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Hey . . . can’t find you at your usual table. Everything okay?
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
You seen Art?
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
No. You?
FROM: ELAINE
TO: GWEN
You need to get to the park by school
FROM: GWEN
TO: ELAINE
Can’t. Merlin’s rambling about how much he liked my essay on the test and that I need to participate more in class. Won’t stop talking. Literally texting behind my back right now.
FROM: ELAINE
TO: GWEN
Art just beat the crap outta Lance
FROM: GWEN
TO: ELAINE
WHAT
FROM: ELAINE
TO: GWEN
Art said Lance started the Joust. Left Lance curled up in the dirt. Think he’s crying.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ELAINE
COMING
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Lance you okay? Lance text me you’re okay
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Hi. What time should I pick you up tomorrow night?
Saturday
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Remind me to get beat up more often.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
All it took was some Chinese take-out and a Game of Thrones marathon.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
And you there with me.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Please don’t tell anyone about the stuff I said about my dad and our family
. I shouldn’t have talked about it. No one knows.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
I would rather be drawn and quartered than betray a secret from you.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
How romantic.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Every second I spend with you is romantic.
Except the you leaving super early this morning part.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Stuff to do
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
What stuff?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Hey. Lance definitely started the Joust cuz it got taken down last night.
Sucks being lied to.
Trusted that kid with my life.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Exactly how long have you two known each other?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
A long time
Told him it was better if kids at school didn’t know
This way we could do our own thing
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Maybe it wasn’t healthy for you two to be that close.
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Yeah.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Is that why you never asked me out? Because Lance
liked me?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Lance would really freak out if you were my girlfriend,
wouldn’t he
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Well, forget Lance for a minute. Do *you* want me as your girlfriend?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
I’m taking you to Prom, aren’t I?
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Ugh fell back asleep. Haven’t eaten all day but too sore to get out of bed. Need to brush my teeth. Art hasn’t called or texted. Think me and him aren’t going to Prom haaaa
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Maybe it wasn’t healthy for you two to be that close.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Yeah.
It’s tough to drop someone you’ve known that long.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
People leave and enter your life for a reason.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Yeah. They do. :)
Well at least there’s one silver lining to all this . . .
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
What’s that
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
You and I can go to Prom now
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Um. You’re not going to Prom. You need to stay in bed and rest up.
Dr. Gwen’s orders.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Will you rest up with me?
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
What was that about still needing to brush your teeth
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
That got me outta bed ha ha. Wanna come over around 6? Craving pancakes. Gonna hit Griddle Cafe.