Tortured Skye: A Hawke Family Novel (The Hawke Family Book 2)

by Gwyn McNamee

  While she wanders down the hallway toward my bedroom, I slowly lumber over to the island and slide onto a stool facing the stove.

  It feels so fucking good to sit down.

  Despite my pain being manageable now, the effort it took to get all the way here after this morning’s ordeal has utterly exhausted me.

  She returns and places the bottles and water on the island in front of me. “Take them in ten minutes.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I would salute her, but expending energy on unnecessary movement right now sounds like a horrible idea.

  When she returns her attention to the stove, I take stock of my kitchen. Cutting boards, half-chopped herbs, and other items are strewn across the island and counter next to the stove.

  “I didn’t know you could cook.”

  Skye barks out a laugh and grins at me over her shoulder. “I can bake, too. Pretty well, when I’m not being distracted in the kitchen.” And just like that, the feeling of her hot, wet core wrapped around my dick while I pumped into her on her fucking counter sends my cock into full, raging hard-on mode.

  A beautiful pink blush spreads up the back of her neck. Even with her back to me, I’m confident it’s overtaken her cheeks. She’s remembering that night too. I bet she’s wet as fuck just thinking about it.

  No, stop.

  I shake my head to break the spell she put on me with one simple reminder. “What are you making? It smells like your mother’s sauce.”

  She clears her throat and stirs the pot again. “It is. And I have the water going for pasta. You need to eat something.”

  “Where did you get all the groceries?” I know I didn’t have anything she needed in my fridge or pantry. I don’t exactly keep either stocked. “Did you leave and come back?”

  “No.” She turns around to face me and steps up to the other side of the island. “Actually, Dani brought everything over for me.”

  I scoff. “Does Savage know she’s aiding and abetting the enemy?”

  The corner of Skye’s mouth twitches up. “I doubt it. She said he was at the club tonight for something for a while, so she ran to the store, picked me up what I needed, and then went home.”

  “So does this mean she’s staying neutral in all this? ‘Cause I have a hard time believing she would do anything to upset Savage.”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask, but she did refer to herself as Switzerland at one point, so maybe she’s withholding judgment.”

  Maybe.

  But I’m pretty confident when it comes down to it, she will do what is best for her relationship with Savage over her friendship with me. And I can’t say I blame her for that. He’s her husband and the father of her child. I’m just the guy who tore her husband’s heart out and created a rift in his family.

  Gabe’s eyes darken with sadness. What’s he thinking about? I probably shouldn’t ask. Chances are I won’t like his answer.

  “You okay?”

  He nods slowly. “Yeah, just wondering if all this was really worth it for you?”

  My breath catches in my throat. I certainly wasn’t expecting that question. “What do you mean?”

  A sad smile turns his lips up. “I mean, would all this be worth it if we were together? Losing your relationship with Savage. Putting Dani in the middle. This break in your family. Would you be able to accept losing all that if we were together?”

  Wow.

  In a million years, I never would have anticipated Gabe initiating this conversation. I guess we aren’t waiting until he’s recovered.

  I swallow and scrutinize my hands spread out on the granite countertop to avoid meeting his eyes. “Well, you know how much Savage means to me, so I’d be lying if I said it didn’t break my fucking heart to know he’s mad at me, and you, and that neither of us may ever get back what we had with him. But, the rest of the family? I don’t think they would really care one way or the other what we did if it didn’t upset Savage so much. And I think they’ll get over that. So, worth it?” I force myself to meet his gaze. “Yes. A thousand percent yes, it’s worth it.”

  He seems surprised. “But why? Why are you willing to lose all of that?”

  “Because I love you and want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  His expression doesn’t change.

  He doesn’t respond.

  He doesn’t move.

  He simply sits there and stares at me unwaveringly.

  Fuck. That hurts.

  Maybe laying it all out like that was an incredibly awful idea. My stomach roils as I continue to wait for him to have some reaction, anything to tell me what he’s thinking.

  His lips press together in a firm line and his knuckles whiten on his fisted hands.

  When he finally speaks, his voice comes out soft and demanding. “Come over here.”

  On shaking legs, I make my way around the island. He turns on his stool so by the time I make it to him, he’s facing me.

  I step forward until the front of my thighs meet his knees and study him. He reaches up with his good arm and places his large, warm palm against my cheek. His simple touch combined with the trepidation over what he’s going to say make my legs weak. My body shakes, and I have to steady myself with my hands on his knees.

  He lets out a small sigh and brushes his thumb across the line of my jaw. “Do you have any idea how hard this has been for me?”

  Unshed tears burn my eyes. I reach up and wipe them away. “I know. You lost Savage…I’m so sorry.”

  “Yes, I did lose Savage. But that’s not what I meant.”

  Oh God, this doesn’t sound good.

  My stomach churns and my heartbeat whooshes in my ears. “Then what did you mean?”

  The corner of his mouth ticks up into that lopsided smirk that is so damn sexy. “I was referring to how it’s been tearing me fucking apart having to pretend I’m not in love with you.”

  I can actually feel my heart stop. Everything freezes. It’s one of those crazy time-stop things people describe that I always thought were total bullshit.

  Did Gabe just tell me he loves me?

  “Skye?”

  I’m pretty sure he’s saying my name. His lips are moving. The hand that was cupping my face moves under my chin and directs my eyes up until they meet his.

  “Skye? Say something.”

  “I—”

  I’ve been waiting for this moment for over a decade, and yet, when it happens, I completely forget what words are.

  String letters together to make words.

  String words together to make sentences.

  Concern fills his eyes. “Skye, you’re starting to freak me out. Say something.”

  A few deep breaths allow me to find my voice. “What does that mean?”

  Fear and confusion swirl in her eyes, and I can’t say I blame her. I’ve been jerking her around since the night of the wedding—hot and cold, on and off, asshole and lover. Of course she would be unsure right now.

  “It means I’ve been thinking…a lot. There’s not much else I could do since I woke up in the hospital. When you brought me home this morning, I had one hundred percent convinced myself that ending things was the right thing to do. I saw it as the only potential way you could save your relationship with Savage. I was prepared to bow out and take a step back from the family so you could all try to mend the damage done. I thought it was the only reasonable choice to make…”

  Tears well in her eyes again, and I pause, struggling to find the right words.

  “I was willing to sacrifice my own happiness to ensure you could have Savage back. But now…”

  A single tear rolls down her cheek, and I brush it away with my thumb.

  Her lip quivers. “Now what, Gabe?”

  I take a deep breath. “Now, I can’t imagine my life without you, and I am so fucking sick of always doing what’s right for everyone else and never what’s right for me. You’re right for me. You’re fucking everything.”

  Fuc
k, I never thought I’d get that out.

  The small gush of air rushing from her mouth tells me she’s been holding her breath. The tears fall steadily now. “Do you really mean that?”

  “Jesus, Skye, you’ve known me practically your entire life, when have I ever said something I didn’t mean?”

  A genuine smile appears for the first time, and she shakes her head. “Never.”

  “Exactly, so tell me what you want.”

  Her brow furrows and her eyes narrow. “What I want?”

  A growl rumbles low in my chest. “Yes, woman, tell me what the fuck you want.”

  She moves her hands up from my knees to cup my face and tilts my head back as she steps between my legs. “I want what I’ve always wanted, what I’ve craved since I was sixteen. I want you, Gabe. Just you.”

  In a millisecond, her lips are on mine, and the familiar taste of her luscious mouth makes my cock swell again. She directs the kiss, pushing against my mouth with uncontrolled hunger and probing with her tongue. I relent to her control and let her take what she needs from me; it’s the least I can do after all the bullshit I’ve put her through.

  If I were physically capable, I would push up off this stool and pin her to the ground so I could fuck the ever-loving shit out of her. The animal instinct to claim her and somehow mark her as mine drives me forward, and I reach down and grasp her ass, pulling her in tight against my hard cock.

  Moaning into my mouth, she nips at my bottom lip before drawing it in between her teeth and biting down.

  Fucking fuck fuck.

  For the second time, Skye almost makes me come in my fucking pants.

  I drag my mouth away from hers. “Fuck, Skye…you need to stop or I’m going to go off like a fucking hair trigger”

  She grins and leans in to press her lips against mine again. “What’s wrong with that?”

  “I just had a fucking organ removed, for one thing.”

  Her lips find that spot behind my ear, and I dig my fingers into her ass. “I’ll be gentle.” The warmth of her breath and the uttered words almost cause me to make a fool of myself, again.

  The smell of something burning hits my nose just before the fire alarm starts blaring.

  Again?

  “Shit!” She yelps and pulls away from me, darting around the island to the stove where I turn to see the pot of sauce boiling over and into the flame under the burner. “Shit. Shit! Shit!”

  The piercing wail of the fire alarm continues. My eyes travel all the way to the fourteen-foot ceiling where the red light is flashing.

  Fuck.

  How the hell am I supposed to get that turned off? A loud bang has me jerking my head back toward Skye, and she’s emerging from the pantry with the broom in hand.

  She grins at me. “Old trick.”

  With little more than a quick tap of the end of the handle against the alarm, the deafening noise ceases just as the apartment door flies open.

  Dani stands in the jamb with Savage immediately behind her. “Is everything okay?” True concern darkens her eyes, but for the first time in over two decades, I can’t read Savage.

  Skye rests the broom against the island and takes a step toward the door. Dani holds it for Savage to enter.

  Well, this isn’t awkward at all.

  The look that passes between Savage and Gabe is indescribable—a combination of anger, hurt, relief, and something else.

  I offer Dani a reassuring smile. “Everything’s fine, the sauce pot just overflowed.”

  “Oh, is that what smells so good?” She brushes past me and waddles over to the stove, leaving me standing at one point of a triangle with Savage to my left and Gabe to my right.

  I’ll take uncomfortable family situations for a thousand, Alex.

  “Mmm, Savage, you should come try this. It might be better than your mom’s, but I’ll never admit to saying that if you tell her.”

  I know Dani is just trying to break the ice and warm the chill between Gabe and Savage, but it doesn’t look like either of them is going to make any move toward peace.

  Men can be so fucking juvenile. Savage is acting like a caveman, and Gabe is just, well, silent.

  A quick glance at the clock over the microwave tells me it’s past time for his next medication dose. “Gabe.”

  His eyes move from Savage to me, and he quirks an eyebrow.

  “Take your meds.” He nods and turns his back on me and Savage, before opening the bottles and downing his pills.

  Savage turns his attention to me. “What are you doing here?”

  “Seriously?”

  His eyes narrow. “Yes, seriously.”

  “What the fuck does it look like I’m doing? I’m cooking dinner for Gabe and helping him. He just had major surgery, Savage. I would think you’d be a little more empathetic given the circumstances. I seem to remember him dropping everything to fly to Germany to be with you after the accident and being here to help you when you returned.”

  Savage purses his lips together but doesn’t respond. That’s because he knows there isn’t any response except “you’re right, I’m sorry,” that won’t make him sound like a fucking hypocrite and a huge asshole.

  Dani and Gabe’s murmured words reach me but I can’t tell what they’re saying, and I refuse to be the one to back off from the stare-down Savage is giving me right now. He may be able to intimidate other people, but he doesn’t scare me.

  “Well.” Dani returns to Savage’s side and out of my peripheral vision, I see her rub her belly with one hand while placing the other on his shoulder. “Since things appear to be all right here, we’ll just head home.”

  Without breaking my eye contact with Savage, I nod. “Thanks for stopping by.”

  I don’t mention anything about her getting me the groceries. There’s no point in starting another war with Savage right now or dragging Dani any more into our family soap opera.

  If that’s even possible.

  When the door finally clicks shut behind them, I turn back to Gabe. He’s watching me intently, a slight frown on his face.

  I move over to him and resume my spot between his legs. “What’s this frown for?” I brush my finger across his lips.

  He puckers his lips and kisses my finger. “I just don’t like seeing a standoff like that between you and Savage. It actually kind of breaks my fucking heart.”

  Mine too.

  But Savage is the one being ridiculous and irrational about the situation. Until he can realize how utterly ludicrous his reaction is, I refuse to feel guilty about my role in our rift. I’ve done nothing wrong. Gabe has done nothing wrong. Savage needs to learn to deal.

  “It won’t always be like this, Gabe.”

  “You seem pretty confident of that.”

  I sigh and run my hand back through his hair. He leans into my touch. “That’s because I know my brother. This just rattles his control-freak tendencies. That, coupled with the storm and Dani’s pregnancy, I think he’s just at the end of his rope when it comes to things he doesn’t have power over.”

  Gabe eyes me skeptically. “You really think it’s that simple? Because I think he feels betrayed, and betrayal is not something you just get over and forget about.”

  As much as I wish he were wrong, Gabe may have a point. My only hope is that Dani can work her magic on him and convince him he’s doing no one any good by holding onto his anger over this.

  “It’ll all work out.”

  The look Gabe gives me tells me he isn’t convinced, but he still pulls my face down and kisses me like he believes everything will actually work out. His stomach growls, and I break away.

  “You need to eat. Those drugs are going to kick in soon, and I don’t need you passing out on an empty stomach.”

  Finding him on the floor like that scared the crap out of me. It’s one thing when it’s some random patient, but when it’s someone you love, all the sterility of medical training goes out the door.

  “Yeah, I’d rather avoid anothe
r couple hours on the hallway floor if I can. Although, at least I could rest my head on your lap this time.”

  Skye’s gone for work by the time I finally open my eyes. She insisted on spending the night even though she would have to run home in the morning to change. I know she was probably worried I’d forget to take my meds again, and I promised her I’d set alarms on my phone. But that did nothing to dissuade her from staying.

  It’s not that I didn’t want her here. I wanted nothing more than to wrap her in my arms and sink my dick deep inside her. It was the fact she insisted on sleeping in the guest room that annoyed me.

  Nothing would have happened. There’s no way in hell I would physically be able to have sex with her, not with the drugs muting my senses and my injuries still throbbing despite the narcotics. But she was worried she might roll over and hurt me, or that I might instinctively move toward her and do the same.

  So, I slept alone, with the woman I love, who I just fucking told I love, asleep in the guest bedroom down the hall instead of next to me.

  Which really fucking sucked.

  The note on the counter in the bathroom tells me I’m not to attempt taking a shower until she gets back.

  Shit.

  All I want to do is stand under scalding hot water for hours. No matter how many sponge baths they give you in the hospital, there is nothing even close to resembling the feeling of being clean after a long, hot shower. I must smell like shit; I certainly look it.

  The swelling on my face is gone, but the bruises have reached that lovely yellow and brown phase, making it appear like I went ten rounds with Tyson. I’m not even going to attempt getting my shirt off by myself, so examining the clusterfuck of my torso will have to wait.

  My phone alarm goes off on the nightstand, and I move from the bathroom to grab it, silencing it as quickly as I can before I slide it into the pocket of my shorts. Loud, high pitched noises are not good when you’re recovering from a severe concussion. I take my pills and slowly make my way out to the couch. I could have stayed in bed all day watching TV, but sitting on the couch doing it makes me feel a lot less like an invalid.

  Sweet.