Last Train to Istanbul

by Ayşe Kulin

  “As Macit said, she knows how to take care of herself. She’ll be all right; don’t worry. It seems the Germans got hold of Rafo, but then set him free.”

  “What about the child?”

  “You mean Fazıl?”

  The old man didn’t reply.

  “Fazıl’s all right. Everyone’s all right. Father! Your hands are shaking, please calm down. Mother should be back shortly; don’t let her see you this way. Please relax—do it for me, please.”

  When Macit returned, he found Sabiha on her knees next to her father.

  “Tarık says that the Alfandaris will probably be returning home soon.”

  “The Alfandaris? You mean Selva?”

  “All three of them.”

  “Who persuaded them to do that?”

  “I imagine this latest episode was the last straw.”

  “When are they coming?”

  “That’s not certain yet. Tarık said probably within a month.”

  “We’ve got to find them somewhere to live, haven’t we?” said Sabiha.

  “For whom?” asked Fazıl Reşat Paşa.

  “For Selva, Father. It seems they are coming back.”

  There was complete silence. Fazıl Reşat Paşa turned away to hide the tears in his eyes. He looked outside into the darkness.

  ON THE TRAIN

  The Gare de l’Est was chaotic. People rushed every which way, changing platforms. There were women dragging children, men trying to catch their trains, porters carrying baggage, confused foreigners—obviously tourists—and, most of all, soldiers. Young, innocent-faced men with squeaky boots moved in groups. They were all over the station, going to kill or be killed. People called to each other, some reunited, screaming with joy, others being separated and screaming with anguish. There were the sounds of bells ringing, whistles blowing, train wheels screeching on the rails, and soldiers marching monotonously. And different smells: that distinct, smoky smell of wet steam that fills one’s nostrils; the whiff of perfume from women passing by; the stench of sweat and garlic permeating the coarse clothes of peasants; and the acrid smell oozing from the bodies of the young soldiers. Hope and grief coexisted in this station.

  Ferit was running toward the fifth carriage of a very long train, holding his wife’s hand tightly with one hand and carrying a rather large suitcase in the other. Two bags hung over his shoulders.

  “Monsieur, please. Monsieur, have a look at this ticket.”

  The conductor, whose cap came down to his eyebrows, looked at the ticket and grumbled, “What are you doing here, monsieur? Your platform is on the other side. Go down those stairs and across.”

  Ferit turned around, dragging his wife by the hand.

  “Wait, Ferit. Let go of my hand; you’ll make me fall,” complained Evelyn.

  “I can’t do that, darling; can’t you see how crowded this place is? If I let go of your hand and lose you, I’ll never be able to find you again. Please try to keep up.”

  They ran down the stairs hand in hand, across and up the next flight of stairs, and along the platform of another long train with steam coming out of the engine. Ferit noticed someone tall in the crowd who he thought looked like Rafael. He heaved a sigh of relief and slowed down. Ferit showed his ticket to another official standing by the door of a carriage.

  “That one, farther along,” he said, pointing. They carried on walking. The difficult moment was approaching. It was Ferit’s duty to sort out the seating arrangements for the passengers, and he needed to get to the carriage quickly.

  Ferit had been at the station overnight and met up with Evelyn early in the morning. Hikmet Özdoğan and Tarık had come to the station to take over the carriage and deal with the necessary formalities. The carriage had been connected to the very end of a train leaving for Berlin at nine o’clock in the morning. After completing the formalities, Hikmet Özdoğan left to go home. Ferit and Tarık decided to go into one of the all-night cafés and order coffee and cognac. Tarık was deep in thought.

  “Don’t forget, Ferit,” he had said, “it’s very important that the garrison at the Turkish border is notified of your arrival in advance. Our officials in Bulgaria are supposed to let them know that you are on your way. I just hope that nothing goes wrong.”

  “Everything will be fine, my friend. Don’t worry. I don’t see your problem.”

  “The timing is very important. While you’re crossing the border, the garrison there will be having a soccer match with a neighboring garrison.”

  “Oh my goodness!”

  “Exactly. Such are the sensitive intricacies of diplomacy. It’s absolutely vital that the soldiers at the border have no knowledge of your crossing. God forbid, someone could spot something wrong with those passports, but if they are busy playing soccer, no one will notice anything.”

  “Whew. Why all these precautions?”

  “The Germans, of course; do you think it’s easy to flirt with the British and protect the Jews while making sure the Germans don’t turn against us?”

  “Of course not. I do understand, my friend. May Allah be with you,” Ferit said. “Is there anything I can do to alert our garrison at the border?”

  “I don’t think so. Your calling our embassy might be risky. We’ll try and sort it out with our colleagues in Bulgaria.”

  They sat side by side drinking coffee and cognac, one after another, without talking much. Their friendship was relatively new, but they felt comfortable with each other, sharing their anxiety about the adventure ahead. Eventually, Tarık left Ferit alone with his thoughts. He saw his colorful and exciting early life flash before his eyes like the cascades of a waterfall.

  Ferit had earned the nickname Smartass while studying at the Galatasaray lycée in Istanbul. Memories flashing through his mind revealed why he had earned the name. His life was full of successes and obsessions. He could turn his mind to anything—theater, music, law, mathematics. As well as academic success, he had turned his attention to fighting for causes that he believed in. All this came to his mind now in this dirty café in Paris. He’d been studying in Paris in 1940 when Hitler invaded France and the Turkish government ordered all Turks to return. Because the war was waged by this lunatic, he had joined the secret Resistance organization to fight for humanity. No one knew how much longer all this would go on. The only sure thing was that he would be on the train bound for Berlin tomorrow. He had reached the point of no return, and everything crowded in on him at once.

  As if this wasn’t enough, he stood waiting at the station for Evelyn to arrive, worrying how he was going to explain to her that they would be traveling in separate carriages.

  When they reached carriage number five, Ferit helped Evelyn on board before lifting up the suitcase. Then he got on board himself. Inching their way along the narrow corridor, they looked at the compartment numbers.

  “Here it is!” said Ferit. “Look. You’ve got a window seat. Isn’t that nice?” The rest of the compartment was still empty.

  “I still don’t understand why we have to go to Istanbul through Berlin,” Evelyn said.

  “How many times do I have to tell you? Beggars can’t be choosers,” Ferit replied, putting the suitcase on the luggage rack and the shoulder bag on the seat beside his wife.

  “Are you sitting next to me? It would be more comfortable if you sat opposite and we could stretch our legs out.”

  Ferit pretended to check his ticket. “Actually, it seems I’m not sitting in this compartment.”

  “What!”

  “Unbelievably, I’ve been allocated a seat in a different compartment.”

  “Why?”

  “You’re right to get angry, Evelyn. I’m angry too, but there is nothing we can do.”

  “I bet you already knew this.”

  “Well, you see my sweetheart, when I went to pick up the tickets, the train was almost full. They could only offer me seats in separate carriages. I promise you I tried my best to get seats together, I even explained that my wife is
pregnant. They promised to do all they could, but obviously that wasn’t possible.”

  Evelyn raised her voice. “I can’t believe this! I’m to travel all the way to Istanbul on my own, and you’ve accepted it. Is that it?”

  “Shh. Please don’t shout, darling. People are looking at us.”

  “I couldn’t care less. Get that suitcase down.” Evelyn got up from her seat and tried to reach the suitcase.

  “Stop it, Evelyn! Are you going mad?”

  “Either we travel together or not at all—that’s final!”

  “Darling, please sit down. If you insist on leaving your seat, someone else may take it, and you’ll lose the window seat. Look at all these people…Look!” Ferit lowered the window and pulled his wife over. “Just look at these thousands of people all struggling to get seats on trains. Can you imagine how many of them will have to travel standing up in the corridors? I managed to get you a seat, and by the window, and yet all you can do is moan. There’s gratitude for you! So what if we can’t sit next to each other!”

  “I only don’t understand why we’re traveling all the way separately when you supposedly reserved these seats so long ago.”

  “OK. You just sit there like the good girl I know you are and I’ll go and find my seat. You never know, maybe we can swap seats with someone.”

  “What if we can’t?”

  “In that case, we’ll just have to make do with what we’ve got. If we can’t sit together, I promise to come and see you every time we stop.”

  Evelyn was going to object again, but then some people came into the compartment. She looked like she was close to tears.

  “Please, Evelyn, be reasonable. Darling! Just let me go and find my carriage. I promise to do all I can. For God’s sake, don’t leave your seat. I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

  Ferit left the compartment, got out of the carriage with his bag on his shoulder, and started walking toward the end of the train. Evelyn got up and leaned out of the open window and watched her husband. He stopped beside a carriage some distance away. Evelyn saw him talking to a tall man.

  “Would you mind closing the window, madame, it’s getting rather cold,” said an elderly lady who had settled opposite her. Evelyn pulled away from the window and looked at the woman with tearful eyes.

  “Allow me,” said a young man who had just come into the compartment. He closed the window.

  Evelyn pressed her head against the windowpane. She could no longer see where Ferit was. She took a newspaper out of her bag to try to alleviate her stress. The compartment gradually filled up. Ferit was right. Seats were scarce. The family sitting opposite had three children, but they only had two seats; obviously they intended to sit the children on their laps. Ferit returned while Evelyn was doing the crossword. He no longer had his shoulder bag with him.

  “What happened, are we swapping seats?” she asked.

  “Very difficult. I’m in a second-class carriage. It isn’t as comfortable as yours.”

  Evelyn looked around as if to say, You call this comfortable?

  “No one from here would agree to swap places with me.”

  “I will,” replied Evelyn. “We could ask someone in your carriage to exchange his seat for mine by the window.”

  “You think I hadn’t thought of that? But there are no single people in my compartment. They are all couples or families.”

  “So what are we to do?” Evelyn asked with tears in her eyes.

  “We will have to put up with the situation, my sweetheart. You never know, someone may get off; we’ll just have to wait and see. Would you like me to get you something? Another newspaper, a magazine, cigarettes, sweets?”

  “No, thanks.”

  “Water?”

  “Don’t try to get around me.”

  “Evelyn, please don’t give me that sad look. I promise I’ll come see you at every stop.” Ferit bent down to kiss his wife. As he was leaving, he turned to an elderly gentleman sitting beside her and asked him to keep an eye on his wife.

  “Is there really a difference of class in this mayhem?” said the man, indicating the crowded compartment. “Rest assured, young man, I’ll take care of your wife.”

  Ferit pushed his way through the packed corridor with difficulty and jumped out, running all the way to the last carriage. They had filled the compartments of this special carriage brought over from Turkey with people holding Turkish passports. Ferit found his way to the compartment where he had left his passport in his bag. Selva had seated Samuel and Perla side by side next to the window. Fazıl was sitting on Perla’s lap, looking out. When he saw Ferit, he clapped his hands with joy.

  “Hi, little man,” said Ferit. “Did you look after my bag?”

  “Where’s your wife?” asked Selva. “Where is she sitting?”

  “She’s in another carriage.”

  “How come?”

  “She doesn’t know about this carriage. All she knows is that we are going to Istanbul via Berlin, that’s all.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Selva, Evelyn is expecting a baby. She had a hemorrhage when she was only two months on. I didn’t tell her anything because I didn’t want to cause her any more anxiety than necessary. She has no idea about this carriage.”

  “But is she to travel such a long way on her own?”

  “There are some nice people in her compartment and she has a perfectly valid passport. She might get bored, but that’s nothing compared to other possibilities…”

  “You mean that we might not reach our destination?”

  “You know we are all taking a gamble. I told you so many times, didn’t I? In fact, I insisted that you and Fazıl should travel with regular passengers, just like Evelyn. Both your husband and Tarık begged you, but you wouldn’t listen. You’re very stubborn, you know.”

  “I realize that.”

  “In that case, please don’t ask me questions I can’t answer! Where’s Rafael?”

  “He went to the pharmacy next to the station to buy a few things we seem to have forgotten.”

  “I’m going to check who’s sitting in which compartment. Don’t forget that you, Rafael, and I have to split up the way we discussed.”

  “I know. How many people should sit here?”

  “Well, in normal circumstances, only three on each side, but there are nine even in Evelyn’s compartment. When I’m organizing the seats, I’ll try not to crowd you in.”

  “No, no, that’s not the reason. Don’t think about it,” Selva said.

  All those staying in Ferit’s apartment had become very close friends, especially during their last night together. When Ferit announced to them that they would be leaving the following morning, no one seemed very pleased despite having waited for the news for some time. They must have been embarking on the longest and most difficult journey of their lives. Either they would make it to their destination or not. Each of them had been quiet, eating their cheese and lettuce baguettes and drinking their wine. Undoubtedly, they all had the same apprehension in their hearts. They might be traveling into the unknown, but they had each other for support.

  Outside, Tarık was moving along the compartments, carrying a paper bag and peering through each window, one by one. When he saw Evelyn’s profile, he stopped and tapped on the window. Startled, she turned around and looked out. Her eyes lit up when she saw Tarık. Because of the station noises, she couldn’t hear him say, “I’m coming in,” but she read his lips. She got up and met him in the corridor, and they put their arms around each other.

  “Is your seat comfortable?” asked Tarık.

  “Yes, but do you know what that crafty husband of mine did?”

  “Yes, Evelyn, but I can assure you it wasn’t his fault. He’s upset about it too. I spoke to the conductor myself earlier, and he promised he’d let us know if there should be an available seat. Don’t worry too much. The important thing is to have a safe journey,” Tarık said, avoiding her eyes. “At least you’re safe i
n here. There’s no way of knowing where Ferit’s carriage will end up.”

  “I’m so worried, Tarık,” she said. “I don’t understand why this train is going through Berlin.”

  “Apparently some of the other lines have been bombed. This sort of thing happens in wartime. Anyway, look what I got for you!” Tarık took some chocolates and biscuits out of the bag and gave them to Evelyn.

  “Oh, Tarık! You’re such a good friend! Thank you for coming to see us off.”

  “I couldn’t let you go without saying good-bye.”

  “We could have seen each other earlier, but Ferit wouldn’t allow me to come to Paris until the last moment. I’m sure you know that rascal let our apartment, don’t you?”

  “I do, but wasn’t that great? At least you’ll have some money coming in each month.” Tarık insisted on helping her back to her seat. “Don’t tire yourself, relax, and have a safe journey,” he said, leaving her.

  Tarık walked all the way back to the carriage with the star-and-crescent emblem on the windows and found Margot in the same compartment as Selva.

  “You’re traveling in this compartment?” he asked.

  “Yes, Selva and I will be together. Rafael’s in another compartment,” Margot replied. She seemed much calmer than she had been a few hours earlier.

  After Tarık had left Ferit at the station café, he had rushed home to have a shave and change his clothes before seeing Margot off. Margot already had her suitcase packed and was ready by the door. She was wearing a gray two-piece suit and her favorite hat. Tarık had been surprised to find her sitting bolt upright on a chair that she had pulled next to the window.

  “What on earth are you doing all dressed and ready to go at this time of the morning?”

  “I’ve been ready since midnight. I waited for a while in case you came over, but when you didn’t, I decided to get myself ready for the journey. There was no way I was going to sleep anyway.”

  “Margot, there were some very important things I had to discuss with Ferit.”

  “I know, I know, my darling. Thank you for coming.”

  “Why don’t you make us a cup of coffee?”