Freeing Calder: Seas of Seduction 2
Page 15
“Will those ships keep following us?” I ask tiredly as I rub his back, digging my fingers in to all the right places. He moans, accepting my attention. It makes me smile knowing I can make him feel good like this.
“No, they can’t. They’d be stupid to try.”
I yawn loudly and hug him from behind, pressing my cheek against his back as the water washes over us both. “We actually made it.”
“I told you we would.” Turning, he checks me over for any more soap and then steps out of the shower, leaving me alone for a minute. I wash myself again, just to be thorough, and then step out into an extra-large, soft and fluffy towel that he wraps around me tightly.
“Come on,” he murmurs, leading me into the bedroom. He sets me at his desk and starts combing my hair while nude and still damp himself. This guy really doesn’t feel the cold like normal people.
He snags a tangled lump in my hair and apologises quietly. It feels nice to be taken care of, so I allow it until he pulls out a hairdryer and starts blasting my hair, and then my face, making me giggle and hold it away at arm’s length.
Ten minutes later, when we’re both dry for the most part, we climb into bed together and it feels like heaven. I forgot how comfortable his mattress is.
He pulls me onto his chest and his fingers start trailing down my side. My stomach presses against his waist and my leg hangs lazily over one of his thighs.
“You have no idea how this feels, Rain, having you here with me.”
I don’t open my eyes, I’m too tired and relaxed. Instead I kiss the space above his heart and sink into a soft and deep sleep.
He left me yesterday, just as the sun was setting. He had to, it’s his job and responsibility. I didn’t mind. I appreciated the room to stretch out and fell back to sleep anyway. He joined me again but did little more than hold me and touch my bump.
Now the sun is rising, and I can hear clattering coming from the dining room area.
I sit up with a groan and stretch my cramped muscles that have been over rested. I should have gotten up hours ago but I felt nauseous, so I forced myself back to sleep. I’m feeling a bit better, just hungry and definitely thirsty.
After grabbing a bottle of water from the cupboard by the bed, I drink it as fast as I can and then quietly pad into the bathroom. I wash my face and brush my teeth vigorously. As I’m doing so, Captain strolls in and my heart stops.
He’s wearing a black bandana and has neatened the stubble on his chin to form a striking shape under his cheekbones and along his jaw. The toothbrush hangs from my mouth as I look him up and down. From the bottom of his black cargo pants, to the thick straps of his vest that hides his incredible muscles, along the curve of his thick neck, to his plump lips, so shapely and perfect, before finally settling on his eyes.
Eyes so green and vivid, like freshly grown leaves.
I quickly rinse out my mouth as he watches me, not saying a word. His intense gaze has me smiling secretly as it makes me feel so wanted and sexy.
“Morning,” I breathe, moving towards him. He wraps me in his thick arms and kisses my hair. “You smell so good.”
“You feel so good,” he murmurs and pushes his hard bulge into my hip. “I should have woken you and fucked you, now I’m not going to be able to concentrate.”
I laugh. “Me neither.”
My lips touch his and he backs me into the wall which makes me squeal because it’s so cold. Chuckling, he lifts my leg and grinds against me, which proves difficult because of the boulder between us.
“I’m sorry I’ve had to keep leaving you,” he whispers, and I open my mouth to interject but he gives me a shake to keep me quiet. “We’ll have more time soon, I just have to navigate us to safety and reinstate my hold on my crew.”
“I understand,” I reply. “I didn’t come back here thinking we’d suddenly be together twenty-four-seven.”
Sighing when a knock sounds on the door leading to the dining space, he steps back, kisses my nose, and whispers for me to get dressed.
I do so, taking a pair of his boxers and a large T-shirt which doesn’t cover much anymore thanks to my stomach. Wearing this reminds me of when I first boarded the ship so long ago. It was such a terrifying time like it is now, but for so many different reasons.
“I’m going to stretch your tops if I keep wearing them,” I tell him when I enter the dining area, spotting what can only be described as a breakfast feast. “And I only brought a couple of outfits for myself.”
My brother is already sitting and piling food onto his plate. I roll my eyes at him and move to the seat Calder has pulled out for me.
“We’ll get you some clothes soon,” he promises, kissing my head before taking the seat beside me. “We’ll get everything soon.”
“What about when she has the kid?” my brother asks, his mouth full of potatoes.
“That was my next question,” I mutter, piling food on my plate. “I mean, women have been having babies since the beginning of time but that doesn’t mean there aren’t complications to worry about.”
Calder places his hand on my knee under the table. “Trust me, Rain, it’ll all be taken care of.”
“I know. I’m being silly.”
“Not at all. Eat. Before it gets cold.”
I do eat and it is incredible. I was hungrier than I thought and I put away more than I thought possible. Calder and my brother talk about my brother’s role on the ship, of course he has to chip in and River is more than happy to. I’ll just float around as always, learning how to do things for now. There isn’t anything I can do excessively at this stage of pregnancy. I’ll just keep the bedroom clean and make drinks or something.
I feel useless.
“Do you have to go back up to the bridge?” I ask Calder after we say goodbye to my brother.
He nods and helps me clear the table.
“I thought maybe we could talk?”
Calder hesitates. “What about?”
“There are things that need clearing up, I guess.”
Blowing out a breath, he looks at his watch and then at me. “Should I be worried?”
“I don’t know, I guess I’m just having a bit of a crisis.”
“About us?”
“No… maybe. I’m confused about a lot of things.”
We stay apart but he twitches and I know he wants to touch me but isn’t to give me space, or that’s what I assume. Who knows what’s going through his head when he’s so carefully guarded. “Give me a clue.”
“A clue? This isn’t a game.”
“I just want to be prepared.”
Prepared for what? Prepared to lie?
My irritation shows as I snap, “Like I was the night you kidnapped me for a piece of fucking jewellery.”
His eyes close, hiding away those vivid greens. “Niall told you. Of course he did.” Looking at me again, he smiles but it’s forced. “And rightfully so. But… can you give me an hour? Just to sort out some things?”
I can give him that. It’ll give me time to calm down. The last thing I want right now is to start screaming at him when I’ve only been on the ship for twenty-two hours. There are better ways of handling this.
“Sure. You go do you, boo.”
He laughs and cups my face with his hands. “You did not just say that.”
After he leaves, I head for the lab and squeal with glee when Geoffrey the mad scientist greets me with a hug. We step back, beaming at each other as we take each other in.
His black hair is longer, and he has a beard now too. He looks less dorky than he did in a really good way.
“Look at you killing it,” I comment, and he jokingly turns, with his hands above his head like a ballerina, to show me all of him. “You’ve been working out.”
“Got sick of being the butt of every nerd joke.” He flexes his arms but his biceps are hidden under the white lab coat.
“You’re always going to be a nerd, Geoffrey,” I jest and look over at Chatterbox who is clea
ning out test tubes in the sink. He jerks his chin my way and continues on doing what he’s doing. “Yes, but now I’m a nerd that can punch a man in the face and do damage.”
I laugh and shake my head. “What are you doing?”
“Not much actually, Captain stopped all production of illegal substances as of last night.” He places a large hand on my stomach. “I’m guessing this has something to do with that.”
“He did?” I breathe, smiling now more than ever. “So how will you guys get money?”
“We still have our ways.” Geoffrey taps his nose and then flips my hand over. He presses the centre of my palm. “You’re anaemic.”
“Probably.”
“That’s dangerous in pregnancy, it can’t go untreated.”
“For real?”
He nods and smiles kindly. “Mind if I take some blood? I can give it a thrice-over, prescribe you something to help if that’s the case.”
I shrug my shoulders. “Do your worst.”
I sit on a stool and wait for him to poke my arm with a needle held by a steady hand. We both watch as the vile fills with my blood and then another, but we don’t speak a word during. I press a piece of cotton to the tiny prick on the crook of my elbow and wait. He takes the tubes of my life liquid to the side and places them there, before rummaging through the cupboard for something.
“I knew I had one,” he cries after a moment.
When he turns back to me it’s with a small metal cone-shaped instrument with a flat end on the narrow side.
“May I?” he asks and at first I think he’s going to try and put it up my lady garden, but then I realise it’s purely to listen to the baby’s heartbeat. He lifts my shirt without my consent and bends at the waist. The metal digs into my stomach a little, though it’s not uncomfortable, more cold than anything.
He lets out a happy little sound and grins at me after a minute of timing. “Heartrate sounds wonderful.”
“You a doctor now?”
“I’m a genius, I’m many things.”
I make a face. “You won’t be delivering my baby will you?”
“Can I?” He looks far too excited.
I blink at him. “Absolutely not.”
“Shame,” he murmurs, chuckling under his breath. “I’ll be the backup, in case your captain lover can’t convince a midwife to join us on board.”
“I’m having the baby on land or how else will he get a citizenship?”
Geoffrey squeezes my shoulder. “Don’t think about that. We’ll get all of that sorted, don’t you worry. The captain’s circumstances were special and the people around him were too lazy to do shit for him.”
“I don’t like not being in control.”
“I know.” He moves to the fridge and pulls out a carton of fresh orange juice. “Just like old times?”
Smiling, I take the glass he offers. “Just like old times, except I’m here on purpose now.”
To that we clink our glasses and Chatterbox joins us moments later.
Captain doesn’t come for me when he said he would, so I head up to the deck as Geoffrey works on my blood. I hope he doesn’t try to clone me, though it wouldn’t surprise me if he did.
I’m greeted with genuine smiles and happy but brief conversations as I wander to the side to look over the vast sea. I don’t know where we are but I know it’s warm and the water, though dark and deep, is bluer than it was yesterday.
I could go up to the bridge and demand his time but I’m sure he’s not avoiding me on purpose. Why would he?
When another hour passes and I wander around aimlessly, reacquainting myself with the ship, Larry finds me and tells me the captain is waiting in our room.
I’ve not waddled so fast since before pregnancy.
When I open the door Calder yanks me inside and shuts it with both hands. He stays like that, his head hanging between his stretched arms, his fingers splayed on the heavy metal.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, concern vibrating through my body as I tense in preparation for whatever is to come.
“I’ve changed,” he states, his voice rough and scratchy. “I’ve changed, I’m changing…”
“I know,” I reply, placing my hand on his shoulder.
“I’ll never be able to give you the picket fence… can’t recall ever fucking seeing one.” Turning suddenly, he stands straight, looking down at me but not in a way that’s demeaning, more a way that’s guarded. As though bracing himself for impact. “I can’t erase my past and everything I did. I can make promises for a better future, but even then, I can’t always promise to abide by it.”
“Nobody can, Calder.”
He tightens his bandana. “I’m a pirate. I was born a pirate. I know the oceans like nobody else. I’ve conquered the length of the globe more times than you’ve left London. I know how to fight, I know how to protect my crew. I know how to fuck…”
“Calder.”
He places his hands on my stomach. “I don’t know how to be a father. I never had a real one. I’ve never seen one in action beyond passing families in the streets. I don’t know how to look after a fucking baby, or a woman, because I’ve never had to do either.”
My eyes fill with tears as I realise just how lonely a life he must have led. But I’m also not sure why he’s saying this and that is torment on its own. “We’ll figure it out.”
“It has always been me and the crew and nobody else. Women came on the island, fucked us and left. My first time was paid for when I was thirteen. Paid for by the man who raised me.”
“Christ…”
He removes his bandana and tosses it onto the table. “I’m not a normal guy, Rain. Nothing I ever do will conform to society’s standards because I’m not ruled by one. I’m illogical, sometimes irrational, I work things out with my fists, my guns, my crew…”
“What are you saying?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know. I guess I’m confirming all of your fears.”
“You’re self-sabotaging.” My hand goes to my stomach. “Do you not want me here?”
“I want you here with me forever, but I’m terrified I’ll never make you happy. I’m terrified I’ll screw up our kid.”
I step into his body and wrap my hands around his waist. “You’re not going to screw up anyone or anything. We will do this together.” When he looks away, I hold his chin with my finger and thumb. “Look at me. It’ll be okay. So long as I get the occasional shopping trip and maybe a games console, we’ll be fine. At most the only thing I dislike about this ship is the lack of things to do, but as I’ve discovered upon exploration, that’s just your quarters and there are lots of entertainment rooms on board.”
He doesn’t relent, the fear in his eyes is now apparent and I don’t know what to do to help him.
“What has you so afraid? That I’ll leave?”
He nods, not hiding it, not withholding it, just simple honesty. It’s so refreshing, to be with somebody who can admit that without feeling weak.
“I’m not leaving, Captain. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t going to have to work at things for a while.”
He dips his head for a kiss and deepens it when I hum. “You’re giving up an entire world to be here with me,” he whispers against my lips.
“Leaving you would be giving up my world, not the other way around. I never felt as free and happy as I did on this ship. I don’t have anything for me back in England.”
He kisses me harder, pushing his tongue against my own. I moan and accept it, returning it with equal fervour.
I feel myself walking as his hands grab my rear. We’re closer to the bed, and as soon as my legs touch the side, he rips his vest over his head and then mine.
We kiss again as he yanks down my boxers and I work on the button of his cargo pants.
I sit on the bed and pull myself backwards, smiling when he follows. He crawls towards me, prowling like a predator.
It’s finally going to happen, the moment that has consumed my
dreams since we separated.
He thrusts into me and we both groan with relief and desperation.
“I’m not made of glass,” I snap when he holds back, fucking me gently when right now I just need to come.
Chuckling, he lifts, flips me over and pulls my hips up until they’re sticking up in the air. He pushes back inside and tears spring to my eyes when his fingers work my clit.
I’m going to come, and I know he knows it because his thrusts get more rapid and more desperate. He chokes out a groan and I clamp around him as my orgasm hits and burns through me like none other.
We both cry out with it and don’t stop until I collapse onto my side and he behind me.
“That was too quick,” he whispers.
“We’ve got forever to fuck for longer.” I pat his hand on my belly. “I really needed that.”
“And in my defence,” he pants, “it has been a while.”
I smile into his neck after snuggling into his side. “Don’t be frightened, Calder. Just love us. That’s all we need.”
“That and occasional shopping trips and a gaming console in the bedroom.”
“Those too.” I giggle and squeeze him tighter. I get serious after a pause. “A ring though, Calder? Was that all my life was worth to you?”
When he doesn’t reply, I kiss his chest and sigh. What more is there to say at this point? He did what he did for money and hopefully that led him to learning that life is more important that money. That I’m more important than money.
An hour later he gets up, saying he’s eager to navigate us to where we need to be. I follow him to the bridge once dressed in search of a burner phone and find him at work with his men, barking orders and laughing at something one of them says. I need to call home and let everybody know why I’m not there anymore.
It’s the moment of truth, will Captain trust me enough?
I slip onto his lap and we stare ahead, peaceful and still. The ocean looks clear for miles, not a piece of land in sight.
“What happens if you come across other pirate ships?”
Smeg and one other laugh boastfully.