Eternal

by London Saint James

  “There are a lot of things about myself and Cayden which are hard to explain.”

  “Yes, I know there must be. I have watched the two of you. It really is quite amazing. Someday we will need to talk about all of the things.”Melissa lifted her arm, glanced at her watch. “I’m scheduled for a conference call to the west coast. Chandler will harass me if I’m late.” She blushed. “I will talk with you later, Winter.”

  “Thanks for all your help,” I replied.

  “Anytime.”

  I walked out onto my balcony were I stood with my arms wrapped around my mid-section, watching the tops of the trees sway within the breeze. The sun was playing through the shimmer of the branches causing a glittering effect that each movement, each sway, enhanced. I ran my hand over the back of the rod-iron chair. My fingers followed the carving of the metal filigree. I took a seat and listened to the sounds of nature around me.

  In the distance was the sound of birds, a humming sound like a leaf blower and the clatter of the branches in the breeze. It was sunny today so the warm sun felt wonderful. I closed my eyes and lifted my face toward the sky. I saw a red hue through my eyelids. The warmth hit my cheeks and my lips. The wind still had a crisp edge to it, but not unbearable.

  Wait, red. I knew the color was red, which lit behind my closed lids. I pondered this for a moment while I sat quietly. It had been sixteen years since I last saw the color red. Recalling the last time, I felt a shudder shoot through me. No matter how many years pass I will never forget how I felt, knowing I lost Austin.

  I remembered being told the man I loved, and was going to marry, had been killed. Everything in my world turned gray. I wanted to die, to join him, but my life went on without him, if you want to call it a life. For the past sixteen years, I lived a faint echo of a life and then out of the blue, Zander, Austin’s one-time manager, agent, and friend, called me about re-writing a script. From there, everything about my life changed. I met Cayden Cain, someone who in all actuality should be impossible yet he exists. And somehow, someway the love I feel for him is one in the same as the love I still feel for Austin. Cayden, like Austin, is the love of my life, and as much as I fight against the idea, there is some kind of connection between the two of them and me.

  When I found out Cayden and his parents were involved in the car crash that not only took the lives of his parents, nearly killed him, and stole the life of Austin, I almost lost my composure. And hearing the shocking news Cayden could possibly be Austin’s half-brother, the outcome of a long ago affair between Cayden’s mother and Austin’s father, I was speechless. I still wasn’t sure what to do with that specific information. But as Chandler told me about Cayden, how he flat-lined twice, and spent weeks in a coma-like state only to wake up asking for me, I did lose it. For a moment I felt as thought I might hyperventilate. All I thought about was the impossibility of what Chandler was telling me while I cried tears to the floor. Cayden and I had never met until a few weeks ago. He was a child at the time of the accident, only seven. How could he wake with my name upon his lips? Could it really be possible that the man who is a carbon copy of Austin was Austin? I never believed in the idea of reincarnation, or soul transfer, but I needed to consider the possibility.

  I couldn’t dwell on all the unexplainable events. It was too hard to consider, more than impossible to wrap my mind around, and difficult to completely believe. I had to think about something else so I pondered what I was going to do to fill my time over the next three days. Being away from Cayden was almost painful. If I had a few hours of uninterrupted time, this would allow me to finish the script, but I figured I would save the script for later tonight. I seemed to do my best work at night, especially when Cayden’s gone.

  I heard my phone ringing in the distance. I got up swiftly and headed for the sound emanating from inside the outer pocket in my black Fendi bag. I figured it was Cayden and was disappointed when I looked at the caller ID.

  “Hello, Jewel,” I answered, trying hard not to sound disappointed. After all, it was not her fault I was foolish and missed Cayden. Besides, she was one of my best friends, even if we didn’t stay in touch much.

  “Hey, Winter. Do you think it might be possible to go with me to Claudia and Bean’s? It’s Claudia’s birthday, and they would love to see you.”

  Wow, I hadn’t seen Claudia and Bean in sixteen years. In fact, with the exception of Jewel, I hadn’t spoken to any of the old gang Austin and I used to hang with. I wasn’t even sure how many of our old friends were even in New York.

  “Um….” I stuttered biting at my bottom lip. “I don’t think I could get away right now. Anyway, I am pretty sure Jayden would not go for it.”

  “Then don’t tell him. How hard could it be to sneak out? I can come get you, and we can go see our friends. No one would be looking for you in my car. You make more of a scene when you are with the bodyguard and the Cain’s.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Come on, Winter. If you are with me, how could the press find you?”

  “I know, but I don’t think I should—”

  “Winter, you said yourself you did not believe it was really necessary to have the bodyguard, that Zander felt it was best. What Zander doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “Come on. You know you want to see our friends. They would be so surprised to see you, plus we do have a lot of catching up to do. You know Claudia and Bean finally got married a couple of years ago, and you missed their wedding. You kind of owe them.”

  Jewel was using the guilt card; she was always good at that.

  “What time is her party?”

  “At five-thirty,” said Jewel. I envisioned the smile of victory that was assuredly stretching across her face. “Tell me where you are, and I can come get you.”

  “Okay, but you cannot tell anyone where I am staying.”

  “I promise it will be our secret.”

  “Well, there is a security wall and a large iron gate. You will need to wait for me outside of the wall. I will come to you.”

  “I feel so much like a super sleuth right now.” Jewel laughed. “Give me the address. I will meet you in about an hour outside the wall.” She laughed again. “I never in a million years thought I would be breaking my friend out from behind a wall.”

  I giggled. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

  I don’t know if it was my crazy need to fill my time with something in order to stop missing Cayden, my nervousness because he was with Cheryl Lynn, his young and beautiful co-star, or if it was just plain stupidity on my part that I had agreed to go along with this foolish, without a doubt, asinine plan. A part of me knew if Cayden found out I left without my bodyguard, he would be more than mad. However, another part of me felt there really wouldn’t be any danger.

  I paced, all the while convincing myself the press did not know I was staying here at the estate, and no one knew my friend Jewel. It wasn’t like being out with Chandler or his brother. Jewel was right, hanging out with them and their entourage seemed to attract attention. I reminded myself I had been out the other day for a lunch meeting with everyone and nothing happened. So I figured I could be a little bit tricky, sneak out and sneak back into the estate without anyone becoming the wiser.

  I walked aimlessly around my room for more than forty-five minutes, arguing with myself about going. Then I worried and wondered why Cayden had not called yet. He told me he would call so the fact he had not set me on edge even more. All I could see was Cheryl Lynn’s perfect face and her perfect ruby red heart-shaped lips. He would be with her, looking at those perfect lips. I definitely need a distraction, and it would be great to see Claudia and Bean.

  I put on my blue jeans along with a comfortable navy-blue scooped neck sweater, grabbed my coat, my bag, and headed down the stairs and out the back door of the estate. I glanced around. The coast was clear. My goal, the ornamental iron gates. Trying not to walk on my tiptoes, I crossed over the back and north lawns
. After all, walking on one’s tiptoes does not a sneak make. Once I arrived at my destination I pressed in the security code, unlocked the gate, and escaped from behind the walls of the estate. It was easier than I thought.

  I smiled when Jewel pulled up. She looked positively glowing with satisfaction. I slid into the front seat of her Volvo as she cranked the tunes. She tapped the steering wheel and sang along to “Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing.” I chuckled. Perhaps the song was fitting.

  Jewel and I made our way back into the city, coming to a tall apartment building on the Upper East Side. I exited the car in the parking garage and listened to the thwap of our closing car doors echo. Allowing Jewel to take the lead, I headed over to the elevator. She talked nonstop, quite pleased with her sneaky breakout tactics. The elevator doors opened on the lobby level where we exited. Jewel stepped up to the reception counter, grabbed the chain-attached pen, and signed herself in. When she started to sign my name, I stopped her.

  “No.” I tapped her hand. “Not my name,” I whispered under my breath.

  The man at the counter peered down his long pointy nose at me, but he never said a word.

  “Oh,” Jewel said and signed a bogus name next to hers.

  The man at the desk looked beyond bored. Actually, he kind of looked like the living dead with dark circles under his eyes and sharp pronounced features on his pasty-colored face. He showed no hint of emotion, moving his eyes more than his face.

  “I need to announce you.” He picked up the phone and rang up to Claudia and Bean’s apartment. He twirled the phone cord around his thumb. “I have a Jewel and a Gabriela here to see you.” He looked at me for a long moment then back toward Jewel. “Go on up, take the elevator to the sixth floor,” he instructed in a flat lifeless voice.

  I heard my cell phone ringing. I reached into my bag, pulled out my silver phone, and glanced down. Zander’s number. Shit. I knew it was Cayden calling and not Zander. Cayden used Zander’s phone to call me so no connection could be made between Cayden’s phone and mine. I really wanted to hear his voice, needed to hear his voice, but it was impossible to talk to him. As much as it hurt me not answering, it would hurt me more to lie to him because I couldn’t tell him where I was or what I’d done. The information I was in the city without Jayden, and what was worse I snuck out like a bratty teenager, was something Cayden didn’t need to know. He’d be worried for me.

  I held the phone for what seemed like forever as it continued to ring. With no other choice, I ignored it.

  “Are you going to answer that?” Jewel asked.

  “No, it’s Zander.” I lied.

  “Oh.” She replied with a devilish smile.

  I tucked my phone back into my bag as we entered the elevator. Jewel pushed the button to the sixth floor, where after a few moments, we exited. There was a large foyer with an oversized barn red door and what looked like a potted fruit tree next to it. Claudia flung open the door to see me first. She started jumping up and down in place, her face full of life.

  “I was wondering who the hell Gabriela was!” she shrieked. She ran over and hugged me around the neck, all the while pulling me into her apartment. “Bean! Get out here. You are never going to believe who is here with Jewel.”

  Bean came from a back room. He looked at me. Stood still for a moment. His face broke into a large and wide grin.

  “Winter, you are in so much trouble,” he said before he came to hug my neck. “You should have told us you were here in New York. Do you know how pissed off we all were to read about you in the gossip magazines? I about had a heart attack in the checkout line at the grocery store when I saw your face plastered all over the front of a magazine. Let me tell you I wanted to flipping piss my pants when I read it was Winter Wells I was seeing. Why did you not tell us you were the author? And what the hell is the deal with Chandler Cain?”

  “Gosh, Bean, that is an awful lot to be in trouble for. Where do you want me to start first?” I replied, laughing. He let go of my neck.

  “Bean, let her at least sit down first,” Claudia scolded.

  Jewel was already sitting quite casually on the brown suede couch, smiling. She patted the spot next to her. “Here babe, take a seat,” she said, looking up at me.

  I took a seat next to Jewel. We proceeded with what could only be described as the Spanish Inquisition. “Hey, aren’t we here to celebrate Claudia’s birthday?” I asked, trying to break the twenty questions.

  Claudia interjected, “Yes, but I decided after I turned thirty not to have any more birthdays.” She laughed. The sweet sound of her laughter sent a wave of memories over me. I could see Austin and me sitting with his friends around the table in the diner where I first met them. “We are just getting together to talk, have some food, and to hear from you. I want to hear all about you and why you are back in New York.”

  “I can’t answer everything, so for that I am sorry, but I will try to answer some of your questions,” I replied.

  “Start from the beginning. Why are you here?” Bean asked.

  “Zander called me. Do you remember Zander?”

  “Yes,” Claudia said.

  “Well, I had not heard from him in years so when he called I was surprised. He asked me to meet with him, to take a look at a script. I wasn’t in favor of doing it, but then I decided to come. I read the script, liked what I read so I consented to assist him in a collaboration. I have been here in New York, working on the script. I’m almost finished with it.”

  Bean shot out the next question from his arsenal. “And why did you never tell us you were Winter Wells?”

  “No one knew about me, my pen name, except my mother and Austin’s parents. I write for myself so the fact my books have been published doesn’t mean a whole lot to me. I never wanted to be in the spotlight. I like being inconspicuous. Being famous, recognizable, does not appeal to me. Hollywood was never my thing, it was Austin’s.”

  Jewel smiled. “You know we are all stupid. We should have guessed you were a writer. And the pen name you use it is obvious. Winter Wells.” She laughed. “Maybe it was too obvious.”

  Claudia and Bean nodded in agreement before Claudia looked at me with speculation. “Winter, we have all seen Cayden Cain so you do know what we are thinking, don’t you?”

  “I know how much he looks like Austin,” I confessed. After all, there would be no hiding that fact from them.

  “Is he why you consented to work on the script?” Claudia asked quietly.

  Jewel giggled. “She did not even know who he was until a few weeks ago. Winter had never heard of Cayden Cain or seen him before.”

  Bean looked confused and stopped mid-reach for the sugar cookies that were on the coffee table. “What?” Bean asked.

  “I know,” Jewel replied, rolling her eyes.

  “Cayden isn’t the reason I’m back in New York, nor is he the reason I consented to work on the script. Jewel is telling you the truth. I did not know who Cayden Cain was.”

  Bean shot out his next question without hesitation. “So are you really dating his brother Chandler?”

  Claudia interjected, “Chandler is a handsome man.”

  Jewel let out a low whistle. “Tell me,” she replied. “I met him, and I can say I would let Chandler split my peach.”

  “Nice, Jewel,” I said.

  “What?” she returned with mock innocence while batting her long lashes before she downed a cookie.

  Bean just looked irritated. Claudia hid a smile behind her hand.

  “I know Chandler,” Bean admitted. “I met him on a couple of different occasions. He, Ace, and Austin all went to high school together.”

  “Yes, I recently became aware of that,” I confessed.

  “So what’s the deal with Chandler?” Bean asked.

  “You cannot believe everything you read, Bean. All of the pictures, and I understand there are more than I have even seen myself, they may look like we are dating but we are just friends. We have been in several meetings together s
o the press took a slanted view and ran with it.”

  “Hum.” Bean rubbed his chin. “Tell us about Cayden.”

  “Cayden is a wonderful person. He is extremely intelligent. He has a lot of interest. He has absolutely no privacy. It’s like living in a fishbowl so he is careful what he does and just how much of the real Cayden he allows people to see. He cannot go anywhere or do anything without someone following him. His fans love him, and they are obsessed with him as well. He lives a life in the spotlight. I can say I do know he is unhappy about all the publicity, but that is really all I can say about him.”

  “So than you have spent some time with him?” Claudia asked.

  “Yes.”

  “And isn’t that hard for you?” Bean asked. “Seeing someone who looks like….”

  “It was very difficult.” I crossed my legs only to find myself playing with the bottom edge of my jeans. “But really, let’s talk about you guys. Tell me what have you all been up to?” I said. I squirmed a bit before coming to a comfortable position on the couch.

  It was obvious I was not going to answer any further questions about Cayden, which I am sure raised more questions, nonetheless my friends decided to let it drop. We talked about updates in their lives. I was surprised to hear Bean is an architect and works for a well-known firm. I would not have guessed that as a career path for Bean. It was good to see him talking about something he obviously loved.

  Claudia has been working for a fashion magazine as an assistant to the editor. She is hoping someday to become editor and has set her aspirations at achieving her goals. Jewel is a buyer for Saks Fifth Avenue

  . She has been dating her boss for the last year and a half. She admitted he is married, saying she knows she should walk away from him, but she believes she is in love, even though Jewel admits he has no intention of leaving his wife of eleven years for her.

  Wes moved to Brazil after working on a sitcom. It would seem no one has heard from him in a while. Will moved to Japan after meeting his wife through an internet dating site; they have a four-year-old daughter. He still calls Bean from time to time. It was Wes and Bean who was close, so it surprised me their relationship had changed.