Jagger glanced over at the former cop and saw that he was serious. He wouldn’t let anything happen to the woman he loved; he had to trust that the two of them knew what they were doing. “I’m counting on you.”
Rooster threw back another shot. “You won’t be sorry.”
A few hours later, the crowd was dwindling. Roni had stopped drinking a while ago, but Rooster and Liam were still going strong. She was sure they were going to hate each other in the morning for thinking this was a good idea.
“I owe you two an apology,” she told them.
Immediately, they both sobered up and glanced at her in surprise. “What do you mean?” Liam asked.
“I was selfish back then. I let the two of you take the fall for something I did.”
They both tried to interrupt her.
“No, please let me get this out. I’ve seen Doc Jones once by myself, after you and I saw her.” She looked at Rooster. “I explained to her how my guilt is holding me back from so many things that I should be able to enjoy in life. She suggested that I apologize to the both of you in my own way. This may not be something you need, but I do.”
She took a deep breath and a few minutes to compose herself, trying to think of how she wanted to say this. Trying to figure out what would be the best way to phrase everything without it coming off like she was a whining bitch.
“That night changed my life. It set forth a series of events that none of us will be able to get back, but I have this guilt that I hold onto. I’m a lot like everyone else has been in this clubhouse—at one time or another—a victim. I hold onto that victim status because it’s easier. It’s easier to be a victim than it is to claw out of the victim status and be a productive member of society. For too many years,” she glanced over at Rooster and pushed her hair behind her head, “I’ve gone through the motions. I’ve not lived. I was scared to. A lot of that had to do with William. I’ll admit, I was more afraid of him than I ever told anyone. He knew all my secrets, and he was like Coach Thistle is with these kids. He was the authority figure that held all the power over me. I was scared to go against him.”
“I would have killed him,” Liam told her. “Had I known what he made you do, truly what an evil man he was, I would have killed him before I let him go to jail.” He was dead serious—the words a vow.
“I know.” She reached across the table and grabbed his hand with hers. “I know, and that’s one of the reasons I never told you everything. I couldn’t have too much on my conscience. I already had what happened to the two of you there. I couldn’t handle any more. After the abortion, I almost had a nervous breakdown; I was scared to put myself under too much pressure. I know that’s also selfish.”
“Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish,” Rooster told her, putting an arm around her neck and pulling her close to him.
She smiled sadly. “The two of you have always been good to me. You’ve always made excuses for me and made life easier on me. You’ve got to stop doing that, because now, I have to stand on my own two feet. That means I have to apologize to you and let you know that this guilt I’ve carried around has, at times, almost pulled me down into a dark hole that I couldn’t get out of. I appreciate what you did for me, and I will always be sorry for the way things played out, but I need to know that you both forgive me and aren’t mad at me. I need to forgive myself.”
Rooster was the first person to speak up. “You feel the need to tell us you’re sorry, but I feel the need to tell you that we both made a decision. We wouldn’t have done it if we didn’t love and respect you, Roni. I’ve never blamed you for a damn thing and I’m telling you here and now—let it go. I already did a long time ago. You’re going to be so much happier, and I promise that I will do everything in my power to make you happy. This is a new beginning, and that beginning can’t start until you let it. Stop holding us back.”
“He’s right,” Liam told her. “You’re the one holding it back. I’ve never blamed you either and I would still go back and do the same thing again. Sure, I think about it and I wonder how different things would be, but everything happens for a reason. If things hadn’t happened the way they do, who knows what this club would be like. Who knows where William would have had us, and who the fuck knows where I would be. I have a family—one I never in my life thought I would have. I have a woman who loves me, I have kids, I have you. It’s not perfect, but things hardly ever are. I forgive you,” he grinned. “Forgive yourself and start being happy. I want my sister happy. You’re one of the most important people in my life, and you’ve always made me a priority. Make yourself one. Nobody is going to think less of you if you do.”
Silent tears were streaking down her face, and she didn’t realize it until Rooster reached over and wiped one away.
“Let these be the last tears you cry over this bullshit. It’s done, it’s over, and I want to think of the future we have together. Who knows what that will bring, but I’m excited to be spending it with you.”
She nodded, sniffling as she turned into his body and buried her head in his neck. For the first time in years, she took a breath and it felt like a full one. It wasn’t stilted by the weight of a brick on her chest or the weight of memories buried deep. It was real, full, and tangible. She was getting her second chance.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Meredith glanced at her phone, laughing at the message from Bianca. Apparently the night before, Liam and some of the other club members had tied one on. Meredith knew that Liam was probably trying to forget about the horrible situation his son was in, and she had heard rumblings that other things were going on. She was glad that she had taken Tatum for the night. The toddler slept on the couch beside her as she did work for the CRISIS house.
Glancing over, Meredith smiled. Tatum was the perfect mixture of Liam and Denise. Her hair was dark, and as it got longer, it was starting to curl, just like Liam’s did. Her face held Denise’s mouth, but her blue eyes were all her daddy.
As she was about to turn back to the laptop, she heard Tyler’s motorcycle coming down the drive. That made her nervous. He’d been gone for right at twenty-four hours, spending time with Drew while he detoxed from the drugs he’d placed in his body.
She got up from the couch, making sure that Tatum was okay before walking out to the porch and meeting him. She winced at the look on his face. There were dark circles under his eyes and his mouth sat in a grim line. She hadn’t seen him look like this since the days following her attack at the hands of an informant when she was a reporter.
“How is he?”
Tyler glanced up and sighed. He was tired, so very tired. That was one of the hardest things he’d ever done in his life. “Finally resting somewhat comfortably. I couldn’t get Denise to go home though, she’s still sitting in a chair beside him, holding his hand.”
“She’s his mom, I’m sure she doesn’t want him to wake up and think he’s alone.”
“I’m sure,” he agreed, hugging her tightly. She was his lifeline when things got bad, and he needed her right now. “But I don’t know how much more she can take. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.”
“Hard to watch?”
“You have no idea.” Tyler shook his head and had a seat on the steps, pulling Meredith down with him. He didn’t want Tatum to hear what he had to say. “The things that came out of that kid’s mouth. I mean, I know it wasn’t him, I know he was in pain and he was cycling, but I don’t know how Denise stood it. He cussed her for the hard life they had before coming to live with Heaven Hill. He called her a slut for getting pregnant with him and Mandy in the first place. He told her he hated her. My heart broke for her.”
Meredith was shocked. She’d never heard words like that come out of Drew’s mouth. “He wasn’t himself.”
“He wasn’t, but he’s not ever going to be able to take back what he said to her, and I don’t know how you forget that. How do you move on?” Tyler ran a hand through his long hair, his eyes cloudy. Those words had hur
t him, how had they made Denise feel?
“It’s going to be difficult.” Meredith ran her hand along his arm, clasping their fingers together. “But she loves her family; she loves her kids like no other. She’ll forgive him. She won’t forget, but she’s not the type of woman to hold a grudge. She’d definitely never hold a grudge against him.”
Tyler nodded, but he was raw from everything that he’d seen go down. “Have you talked to Liam?”
“He dropped Tatum off and said he was going to get shitfaced. I think that Drew asking you to be there really hurt him.” She said it in a quiet way, almost as if she were afraid to say the words out loud. That move wouldn’t be easy on their friendship, she was sure.
“I know it did,” Tyler answered. “But halfway through, I found out why. He’s so ashamed that he disappointed Liam. He’s worried that Liam doesn’t want to be his dad anymore.” He was going to have to have a talk with his friend and explain, he didn’t want that hanging over the two of them.
“Funny how kids go there in their minds, huh? When Liam’s wondering how he failed him so badly that he’s not sure whether Drew wants to be his son.”
Tyler chuckled. “I know, but I think Drew’s going to be okay. It was difficult, and I don’t think he’s going to want to go through anything like that again. We were lucky; we got his buddy Dalton in there with us too. I guess Liam went and threatened his parents and got his uncle on board. Horrible situation all the way around.” He let out a yawn, more tired than he’d ever been in his life.
“You wanna go take a nap?” she asked. “Tatum’s on the couch, so the bed is completely yours.”
He pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on her head. “I really wish you could join me, but I understand that you can’t.”
She couldn’t. Tatum would be here for at least a few more hours if the message she got was to be believed. “As soon as someone comes and picks her up, or I drop her off, I’ll come join you,” she promised, running her hand down his arm.
He leaned in, the leather of his cut creaking, and tilted her head around so that he could catch her lips with his. She grounded him more than anything else could and after the long day he’d had, he needed that grounding. “Love you,” he whispered before their lips touched.
Meredith grinned and tilted her head up to meet his. “Love you too.”
Bianca made her way towards the coach’s office, checking behind her to make sure that Rooster followed. She groaned as she turned her head back around, it was still pounding.
“I’m back here,” he said.
“Not so loud,” she whispered. Teaching had been a bitch today. She wasn’t sure why they’d all had the bright idea to tie one on, on a weeknight.
“I know,” he nodded. “I’m about to rip that damn bell out with my bare fucking hands.” He glared up at the ceiling.
“If you do, you’ll be my hero and I’ll never tell Jagger,” she joked, smiling when he chuckled along with her. “Can you stand outside like you need to talk to him?” She gestured towards Coach Thistle’s office. “He kind of gives me the creeps.”
He could understand that after what Bianca had gone through with the former principal that had once become scarily infatuated with her. He considered himself lucky that Jagger didn’t have himself parked up the hallway all up in their business. “I’ll be right here, nobody’s gonna touch you.”
While she always felt safest with Jagger, Rooster made an imposing presence, and she was lucky to have him with her. Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she knocked on the coach’s door. When he told her to come in, she walked through the door.
“Hi, Larry,” she greeted him, using his first name.
The other man glanced up from the papers he had on his desk. “Hello, Bianca. What can I do for you today?”
She held up a box that Rooster hadn’t even noticed she’d been carrying. He told himself to look alive and pay attention.
“The drama club is selling these chocolate bars to help pay for the sets and backdrops for the fall play. We were truly hoping that the big boys on this team would need some. You put them through their paces, and I know that sometimes they need a treat.”
Rooster did his best not to laugh when she barged around the desk, insinuating herself into the coach’s private space.
“I’m just going to put these in your bag.” She bent over in front of him, not bothering to do it lady-like, even though she was in a skirt. Dropping the box in his bag, she attached the tracking device to the inside of the bag, discretely, the way Jagger had showed her. “Is that okay, Larry?” she asked as she stood up and turned around to face him, smoothing her skirt against her legs.
Larry stared at her, words not forming in his mouth. “S-ss-sure, Bianca, thank you.”
She gave him a bright smile and ran her hand along his shoulder. “Thank you so much, we seriously appreciate it.”
As she left the room, she put an extra sway in her hips. “Rooster, if you could help me grab the other boxes in my room, I’d appreciate it.”
“Sure.” He nodded and took off after her, leaving the coach wondering what the hell had just happened. He laughed when they got far enough away. “He’s wondering if you played him big time or came onto him.”
“I didn’t know how else to do it,” she whispered. “How the hell else was I gonna get in there? I have no use for a football team. Do you know how much I had to pay for those candy bars?” she laughed. “Y’all better appreciate me, that’s all I gotta say. I take payment in forms of flowers, dinner, and gift cards.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he told her. “Do you have the remote switch that Steele stuck on that thing?”
She walked over to her desk and pulled her purse out, handing Rooster the other piece that Steele had given her. She watched as he flipped it on. “He’s on the move, I gotta go.”
“Be careful,” she told him. “I’ll call Jagger and Liam; let them know it’s done.”
“I’m gonna go meet Layne. Tell Liam we’ll check in as soon as we can.”
Within seconds, Rooster was running out of the room and towards his truck. He prayed and hoped that they were lucky. If they were, the coach was headed home and they’d be able to find out exactly why he felt the need to hide where he lived. There was obviously something there and they were going to find out what that was.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“You think he’s going to leave anytime soon?” Rooster asked Layne as the two of them sat in his truck waiting for an opening. They had been sitting there for almost two hours. As luck would have it, the coach did lead them to what they assumed was his home. It was in a middle-class neighborhood, not far from the school, adjacent to the neighborhood that Denise had lived in once upon a time.
“I hope so, I need to stretch out. I think it’s gonna rain today.” Layne’s leg had been injured when he served in Iraq, and sometimes it was the best rain detector that any of them had ever seen.
They lapsed back into silence, and Rooster couldn’t help it, they’d been there for hours and there was one thing that kept playing in the back of his mind. He had to ask a question. “Why do you hate me?”
Layne glanced over at the other man. “I knew that shit was coming.”
It hadn’t been blatant, but the two of them hadn’t seen eye to eye on a lot of things since Rooster had been hanging around the club. It was enough that some people had noticed it, and it bothered Rooster because he’d never done anything to the other man—as far as he knew. “Well, you had to know that I was bound to ask sometime.”
“It’s my own shit, but I felt—notice I said felt—like that you had been given your spot as a hanger-on around the club. I had to fight and scratch my way in, but it was like one day you were a hated member of the sheriff’s office, the next you were allowed to do things that some of us worked years to be able to do. It didn’t seem fair.” He shrugged. “I hate favoritism, and now I understand that you do have a past with the club. It was
stupid, but it was another way I could make myself feel like I wasn’t good enough. I’m getting past that now.”
“I never wanted anyone to think I was stepping on their toes, and I respect the hell outta you, man. You went to war. I’ve never done a damn thing like that. I would love, at some point, to be patched in if Liam will allow it, so I don’t want there to be any hard feelings between the two of us,” Rooster admitted. It made him sound like a pansy, but if you couldn’t be honest to the people you wanted to be your friends, who could you be honest with?
“There are none now, I had to get over my own shit. Like I said, it really had nothing to do with you, it was just how I felt. I didn’t even have the right to feel that way, and I truly can’t explain it. It may have been part of the PTSD and you being an authority figure. Whatever, I’m over it now and I’m glad to have you here.”
Those were good words to hear and made Rooster feel much better about the situation they were in. He’d never been the type of person to get caught up in the needing-to-please-everyone game, but in this group of people, you wanted to be liked. There was so much trust and mutual respect, that it was hard to be on the outside looking in. Nobody wanted to be in that position, least of all him.
Letting his eyes travel back to the house, he noticed the coach coming out of the front door. He once again carried the duffel bag, and it looked like it was full to overflowing with product. “Look alive,” he told Layne. “He’s leaving.”
They waited until it had been a few minutes since they’d seen the car. It was getting later, past seven at night, but with it being summer, the late-day sun was just starting to set. Both he and Layne put hats on and made their way over to the house.
“Wanna try the backdoor?” Layne asked him as they saw that the street was still a little busy.
“Looks like it’s gonna be our best bet,” Rooster agreed as he glanced to the left and right. There weren’t a lot of cars, but there were a few, and the less chance they took at being seen, the better.
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