“I don’t blame you,” she was quick to reassure him. “I can still have children and I want you to know it wasn’t your fault, but it was easily the saddest time in my life. I could have used my mom, but at the time she and I weren’t talking and I was devastated. I went to see your mom,” she whispered.
“Jesus Christ,” he sighed, his heart sinking. He imagined her as the young woman she had been walking up to his parent’s house, nervous, scared, and hurt—he knew they hadn’t greeted her with open arms, and it killed him. “How the hell did that go?”
“Not good. I finally understood why you were constantly at our house all the time,” she admitted ruefully.
“It wasn’t that they were assholes or didn’t love me.” Rooster ran his hand through his hair, struggling to find the words to make her understand. “They were just so strict, and there was only so much I could take of it. It was in me to rebel at a young age, and they couldn’t handle that. I hated for anyone to tell me what the fuck to do.” The irony of him becoming a cop always struck him as funny.
“They were older,” she tried to help him verbalize his feelings. She had been shocked to realize how much older they were than William and Lauren. Going to them had been a mistake, and she had often wondered if they were the ones who told William that she was pregnant.
“They were, and I shouldn’t have been such a piss ant, but I always felt like I was at a disadvantage with them. They didn’t have the capabilities to deal with a kid like me. I haven’t spoken to them in months and I think they like it that way.”
“I’m sure they miss you.” She rubbed his arm. It was her pain to know a father who didn’t love her, but it was his pain to have parents with no patience and understanding.
“I’m sure they do too, but they’re nearing seventy. I don’t want to worry them anymore than they already worry. I was the wrong kid born to the wrong set of parents.”
“I told your mom about me being pregnant. This was before William made me get the abortion, or course. I had some misguided notion that they would take me in and let me stay there until you got out of the camp. The only job I’d had to that point was for the club, and I thought if this came to light, William would either kick me out or kill me. I had no idea what he would do. She slapped me.” She could laugh about it now. “She told me I should be ashamed of myself for seducing a younger boy like you.”
He kissed her neck softly, nuzzling the side with his nose and spanning her stomach with his big hand. “If she only knew the truth, that I was the one seducing you out in the barn that used to be at the clubhouse. You were never a bad influence on me. I was a hell of a bad influence on you.”
“You were, but I was old enough to say no,” she argued. “I didn’t really want to, but I could have. I really should have.”
“The best thing you ever did was say yes to me, back then, and last night. There’s a reason we keep coming back to each other, Roni. There’s a reason that you and I haven’t found other people to love in all these years—we’re meant to be together. That’s all there is to it.”
She hoped that he was right, that this wasn’t going to backfire in their faces. “I hope so, I can’t stand to lose this again.”
He opened his mouth to say something to her, but his phone went off at his side. “I haven’t checked this thing since last night, I hope nothing’s happened.” Rooster reached over and grabbed the phone, squinting as he scrolled through.
“Do you have anything from Liam? What are they doing about Drew?” she asked, not wanting to look over his shoulder but wondering if he’d been informed.
“Looks like Tyler and Jagger are taking the run that had been planned for today, he’s got Steele taking care of the shop, and I need to go see him. They’re taking Drew to the doctor this afternoon.”
She sighed. “That means I need to go check in at the shop, Steele’s super smart when it comes to scientific things, but when it comes to everyday stuff—it’s not so great. It took me a week to set up the system I have now, and if he’s fucked it up, I’m not going to be happy. I hope he hasn’t let the place fall down around his ears,” she joked.
Rooster watched as she got up out of the bed and put on a robe before making her way into the bathroom to get ready to head to work. He wanted to stay here all day with her, but unfortunately they couldn’t do that. They both had places they had to go, things they had to take care of. He slowly got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom door. When she came out, he could smell the mint from her toothpaste. Pushing her up against the wall with his body, pinning her with his gaze, he searched her eyes. He was looking for the answers of his heart, and he hoped like hell he saw them there when this was all over.
“Promise me that we aren’t going to let other people’s shit get in the way of what we’re building here, promise me that,” he told her as he boxed her in.
“We won’t.” She swallowed roughly against the lump in her throat. “We’re going to make this work.”
He leaned down, owning her mouth with one of the steamiest kisses she’d ever had in her life before letting her go.
Dizzy, she leaned back against the wall as she watched him grab a towel and make his way to her bathroom. Life as she knew it had surely changed, and she wasn’t sure that she ever wanted it to go back to the way it had been. She liked this one, so much more.
Chapter Twenty-Three
On his way back to his own apartment, a text message had come through Rooster’s phone from Liam, telling him to meet him at the clubhouse ASAP. Rooster figured he wouldn’t be going into the school today, doing the job that he’d been doing for a couple weeks. It was a good thing, since he was doing the walk of shame and he was already incredibly late for the day.
The walk of shame. He was going to have to be honest and straight up with Liam about his relationship with Roni. This time, he wanted to do everything right, he didn’t want there to ever be any misunderstood feelings, any doubt of where his head was. This time it meant too much, and he was too old to let someone tell him how to live his life. He’d done enough of that over the years.
In record time, he’d gotten home, gotten changed, and was walking into the clubhouse.
“Where’s Liam?” Rooster asked Jessica, who sat at the huge table in the commons area, laptop and notes strewn everywhere.
“He’s in there.” She hooked her thumb to the room where the club normally had meetings. “Don’t think he’s in a great mood though, he took a bottle of alcohol back there with him.”
“Shit,” Rooster mumbled. “Thanks.”
He was hesitant as he made his way to the back. Liam wasn’t the type of guy to tie one on in the middle of the day just to do it. He had to be feeling bad. Rooster realized he was going to have to be careful where he stepped, an emotional Liam was a volatile Liam. He knocked on the door before walking in.
“Hey.”
Liam looked worse than he had imagined. “Hey, shut the door.”
Rooster did as he was told and then walked over to where his friend sat, pulled out a chair, and had a seat. The last time he’d been in this room had been when he’d told everybody about his and Roni’s relationship as teenagers—he couldn’t believe how long ago that felt, when in reality it hadn’t been that long. “How are you?”
“Gutted.” Liam leaned forward and took a drink from the shot glass that sat in front of him. “We’ve done shit we shouldn’t have done as a club. We’ve dealt drugs and put people in bad situations, but we always made sure not to mess with children. He’s a kid, Brandon, a kid.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. He’s really close to being the age we were when we made very adult decisions. He’s a lot older than you give him credit for, and he fucked up. He’s got to live up to that. We can’t coddle him just because we all think highly of him. That’s going to get him in situations he can’t get out of.” He was gentle in his delivery because he knew Liam was a hurting parent, but the mistake that they would all make was in letting
Drew get away with this. He had problems, and they all needed to be addressed.
“But we weren’t adults,” Liam argued, shaking his head.
“We weren’t kids either. You and I both know that. We were drinkin’, smokin’, and fuckin’ just like the people we grew up around. He made a bad decision, and now he’s gonna have to pay the price. I guarantee you; him withdrawing is the worst feeling he is ever going to have.” Rooster reached over and grabbed the bottle, taking a drink from the open mouth. “Is that where he is right now?”
Liam nodded. “Ashley came over as soon as I called her and told her what’s going on,” he mentioned the doctor the club most of the time had on their payroll.
“Then why ain’t you with him?”
Liam looked his friend dead square in the eyes and swallowed roughly. “He didn’t want me there. He wanted his mom and Tyler, but not me. Do you know what a piece of shit that made me feel like? My son doesn’t want me there when he probably needs me the most.”
Suddenly it clicked in Rooster’s head what was going on with Liam. “You are not your dad. You are not William. Drew loves you and he respects you—he probably thinks that right now you don’t respect him and that you’re disappointed. You were the first person besides his mom to show him love. Chances are, he’s just as gutted as you, because he thinks you’re disappointed.”
“I am.” Liam blew out a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. “I am disappointed, but it’s at myself. I knew somethin’ was wrong, but I turned a blind eye to it. What if he woulda killed himself by accident? I wouldn’t be able to come back from that guilt.”
“Now you’re reaching.” Rooster had to get his friend out of his own head. This was a blow to all of them, but it wasn’t anyone’s fault besides Drew’s. He made the decision to do what he knew was wrong, even though it was obvious that he knew right from wrong.
Rooster got up and had a seat in the chair directly beside his friend. Leaning over, he put an arm around him, and a hand on his back. “You need to reel yourself back in. The worst case scenario didn’t happen with him. You can’t beat yourself up over it. You make changes, you watch him closer, you be in his shit a little more. Things happen. You love that kid.”
“That’s the thing, how could I not see it?”
He needed to bring his friend back around. “Do you see that the kid is dating Jasmine’s daughter, Charity?”
“What?”
“They are, they’re dating. They’re probably doing other things too. The shit I see at that school…” Rooster trailed off, shaking his head. “Anyway, my point is, he’s old enough now that you aren’t going to know everything he’s doing. In a few weeks he’ll be driving, as will Mandy. Do we want to know what they’re doing? Probably not, but it doesn’t make you a bad parent.”
“This is hard.” Liam slammed his hand down on the table. “When you care about your kid, it’s hard as hell.”
“And it’s not gonna get easier. They’re only gonna get older, and you’ve got Tatum.”
“Fuck, man, don’t remind me.”
Rooster didn’t know if now was the time, but he needed his friend. The friend of his childhood. “I don’t want to drop my shit on you, but I need somebody to talk to,” he started.
“Friendship isn’t a one-way street. We can drink together if we need to.” Liam motioned to the bottle.
Immediately, Rooster sat up a little straighter. “Did you know that Roni was pregnant with my baby when we went away?”
“What? No.” He shook his head, shock hitting him in the gut. Between her and Drew, this was a one-two punch of epic proportions. “I had no idea. What happened?”
“William made her get an abortion.” It was hard to push the words out of his mouth, hard to come clean with anyone, much less this person whose friendship had once meant so much.
“What an asshole. It doesn’t surprise me, but…shit. I actually kind of figured, just because of some things that have been said over the years, but I had hoped that he wasn’t that big of an asshole.”
“Nope, he really is that big of an asshole.”
Liam poured another shot and this time passed it over to Rooster. “Did she come clean with you?”
“Yeah.” He swallowed the amber liquid. “It about killed her to tell me. It about killed me to hear it. We were young, but I would have done what needed to be done. Even at seventeen I wanted to marry that girl.”
“Do you ever wonder why things happened the way they did?” Liam asked. “Every once in a while, I catch myself wondering where we might be now had that not happened. Would you and Roni be married? Would you have a child together? Would I have met a high school sweetheart and not ever had Denise and the kids in my life.” He stopped and blew out a breath. “It reminds me constantly that one moment in time can change everything, and as I get older, I realize that more and more. I wonder what the fuck I’m doing here sometimes.”
“You’re leading your family,” Rooster answered without hesitation. “Every man, woman, and child in this clubhouse loves you and supports you in the decisions you make. You’re doing what you were meant to do, and I’m proud to follow you.”
“Dude, we’re stumblin’ right now. We’ve been stumbling for a while.” Liam shook his head.
“Then we need to right ourselves and keep on walkin’. All of this,” he put his hands out in a broad reach, “has been a wake-up call.”
Liam nodded and took another drink from the bottle. “This won’t change nothin’, but I can’t in good conscience sit here and not get shit-faced drunk while my son is detoxing. It’s not happening. So pull up a shot glass and join me.”
“Where’s Tatum?” he asked, not wanting to do something in front of the little girl.
“Mer’s got her tonight. You know she loves her, and with Tyler hanging with Drew, she was going to be alone.”
“Then I’m gonna call Roni, tell her to pick up some booze, and meet us over here. We’ve all had a rough few days, and sometimes, you’ve gotta go back to what you know.”
The side of Liam’s mouth tilted. The hell they raised as teenagers was legendary, if only in their own minds. If he was being honest, he could use a little of it. “Call her, let’s see if anyone else wants to raise some with us. Tonight, I gotta get my mind off this shit, and I have a feeling you do too.”
Rooster couldn’t agree fast enough. Sometimes to get okay, you had to go back to where it all started.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Two hours later, the little room was hosting its own throw-down. Liam glanced around and saw that not only Roni had joined them, but so had Jagger, B, Steele, and Christine. It was melancholy for the most part, but at the same time, it seemed to be something they all needed. Layne and Jessica were watching Steele’s cave as the others relaxed for the night. Rooster had explained as best he could to everybody what he thought was going down at the school. Bianca had been shocked.
“I can’t believe Coach Thistle has a hand in this,” Bianca mumbled as she poured another shot. “Out of anybody at that school, I wouldn’t have ever thought him. Even though he’s the football coach, he’s quiet, almost a loner. He doesn’t have many friends, and when I do see or hear him talk to people besides the kids, he stumbles over his words and seems to have a hard time making sense. For him to be some sort of bad-ass steroid dealer? I just don’t see where he would have the guts to pull it off.”
“It’s because he can be an authority figure over the kids,” Rooster told her. “He knows he’s in a position of power with them, it allows him to put down his insecurities and be the type of man that he always wanted to be. With adults, he’s not the authority figure. Chances are that scares him and he has to lay the act down. Truthfully, adults probably intimidate him.”
She turned to Liam. “So what are you gonna do? We can’t let him continue dealing drugs out of the football locker room. We’re setting those kids up for failure right now, as is.”
Liam rubbed his hand over
his head. “I have an idea but Jagger’s not gonna like it.”
Jagger put his arm around B. “Don’t bring her in the middle of this shit.”
“I’m a big girl,” Bianca reminded the table. “Why don’t you all let me decide if I can handle it?”
“Do you know where he lives?” Rooster asked.
“No.” She shook her head. “But it should be in any database that Steele can hack into.”
“It’s not,” Steele piped up. “When I ran my background check on him, the address that’s on everything is just a mailbox. Like literally. No house, nothing. We need to know where he lives. He’s hiding his real address because he’s got something stashed there, mark my words. This dude is not on the up and up.”
“How do you think I’m gonna get that out of him?” she asked, throwing another shot back.
“You’ve got to get close enough to him to plant a tracking device either on him or in his bag—something,” Liam told her, his eyes never leaving Jagger.
“I don’t like this,” Jagger told them, using his arm to bring her close. He didn’t want her any closer to this guy than she had to be.
“You don’t have to.” Liam glared. “I’m not asking you to do it.”
It had been a long time since Liam had spoken to someone like that, and at first Jagger was surprised, shocked even. That didn’t mean that he didn’t understand it and realize what that tone of voice meant. It meant that he didn’t want anyone to question his authority, and if Jagger did that, he was going to pay for it. “Understood, but I’d like to have someone close to her when she does it.”
“I’ll be there,” Rooster told him. “He won’t even know that she did anything, you have my word on that.”
Heaven Hill Series - Complete Series Page 108