She hated it too. Missed the wind through her hair, the sting of cold air on her cheeks, and the way she could cozy up to Rooster and feel the freedom of riding with him through the dark of the night.
“Thank you,” she leaned forward, kissing him soundly. “Not only for this, but for this morning, and just for loving me. You never let me get too out there; you always pull me back in when I start going a little off the rails.”
“It’s my job,” he gave her a hug. “Besides, angry make-up sex is some of the best sex ever,” he chuckled.
She had to agree, but she hated they had to get mad in order to have it. “Here I was worried about the Christmas season, kind of concerned we wouldn’t make it through the holidays and hoping like hell we wouldn’t have to find a divorce attorney come the new year.”
“Fuck, your mind runs away with you,” he laughed and pulled her tighter.
“I know,” she groaned. “This is why I need you with me at all times. I need you to keep me from making our life into a telenovela.”
He laughed again, hard this time; his belly tightening up as he threw his head back against the pillow. When he was done, he wiped the joy from his eyes and opened his arms to her. “Merry Christmas Roni, even if it is a few days early. It’s never too early to tell you I love you.”
“Merry Christmas,” she answered back. As she sunk deeper into his embrace, she felt sleep getting ready to overtake her. They were warm and comfortable, secure in the knowledge they had one another. And even though it had started off a little sketchy, this had actually turned out to be one of the best Christmases they’d ever had.
Feeling his arms tighten, she kissed his bicep before turning her head into his chest. She could feel his muscles flex as he moved the present off the bed, putting it into the floor. He turned over, taking her with him and buried them both deeply under the covers.
With a sleepy voice, she mumbled back. “Never too early to tell you I love you, too.”
Part Eight
Drew & Charity
Chapter Forty
Charity Walker did her best to stay awake as she sat in Christine Steele’s salon chair getting her hair done. “If I start to doze, yank on me,” she warned the older woman.
“Those babies keeping you up at night?” Christine smiled at her friend through the mirror.
Charity nodded. “If Harley gets going she wakes up Justice or vice versa and then we’re stuck there for hours. I think Drew is catching cat naps at work,” she pursed her lips and wrinkled her forehead. “But every time I’m almost able to get one, I’m due in court.”
She sighed. She wouldn’t give her children up for anything. Granted the twins had been a huge surprise when she and Drew found out they were expecting, but they’d been okay. The first few weeks things had been confusing and it had taken them a bit to get used to the needs of two newborns, but they’d done it like they did everything else, together. Now that the twins were older, she was hoping like hell they’d be able to start sleeping through whole nights soon. Or at least stop waking each other up.
“Even though I don’t have kids, I know it’s hard. You and Drew work very long hours too, and you’re devoted to your jobs, so I know it’s got to be difficult for you to draw a line. Is this the first time you’ve gone out?”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “And I’m so nervous. I know Tatum’s got this, I know she does. I trust her with everything, but it’s two kids, ya know?”
Christine pulled some of the rollers out of Charity’s hair and began arranging it in a mass of curls. “I know, but you’re right, Tatum’s been watching babies for a long time. She knows what to do, and she loves her two nieces. They’re going to be fine tonight. Is she staying at your house?”
Charity pulled her phone out of her purse to check the time before answering. “We got a hotel room downtown at the new hotel next to the Chamber. Since they’re the ones putting on this Christmas After-Hours shindig, I thought there would be a code. I was wrong. It was expensive, like more than our house payment expensive, but we figured it’d be a good Christmas gift to each other.”
“They sure didn’t mention the price when they had the grand opening did they?” Christine’s sarcastic comment made both of them laugh. Being a business woman herself, she was also a member of the Chamber, and would be attending the same party.
“They sure as hell didn’t. I like to have had a heart attack and I almost decided not to do it, but Drew convinced me we needed the time together. We need one night to let our hair down. That’s why I’m trying to stay awake.”
“Have you done a five-hour energy?” Christine pointed over to her mini-fridge. “I keep them in there if you need one.”
“Since I’m no longer breastfeeding I might just take you up on that before I leave.”
An hour later Charity had done her makeup, made sure she hadn’t messed up the artful, curly do Christine had given her, and was now trying to figure out what she wanted to wear. She’d brought out three dresses to choose from just in case. Because she hadn’t yet lost all the weight she’d gained with the twins, she wasn’t sure which one she would pick. Two of them still had price tags on them and one was an old standby. Whether she could fit into it or not was a question she hadn’t answered.
“If you don’t wanna be late, we gotta go,” Drew said as he came out of the bathroom, rolling up the sleeves on the shirt he wore.
She felt her mouth go dry and her heartbeat race as she caught a glimpse of him. Her husband didn’t do suits, but he damn sure knew how to rock dress pants and a button up, collared shirt.
“I know,” she pursed her lips as she perused the choice in front of her. “I’m not sure what I want to wear, I need your help.”
He stood up from where he’d been putting on dress shoes, his eyebrows almost to his hairline. “You want my advice on what to wear?”
She threw a shoe in his direction. “I wouldn’t be asking you if I didn’t want your advice.”
“No, I can remember numerous times when you’ve told me shut up, I didn’t ask you.” He came over and put his arms around her, locking them at her waist. “I’m just enjoying the moment.”
She huffed and tried not to get irritated. “This is why I hate admitting I need your help. Can we please not make this into a huge issue?”
He pretended to think about it for a few minutes before he answered. “Okay, what do you want?”
It was hard for her to ask his help. She’d always been confident in everything she wore, but the twins had done a number on her body. She had stretch marks where she’d never had them before, and things didn’t fit the way they used to. Both of the babies had both loved to lay on one side, and her stomach didn’t seem like it was ever going to completely recover. “Can you just tell me which one doesn’t make me look like a fat cow?”
She tried to keep the tears from her voice, she really did. But it was hard, hard to admit that’s what she thought about herself, and even though they were married, hard to lay herself so bare in front of him.
“Hey,” Drew moved his hand from around her waist, up her chest and below her chin to cup it. Gently he lifted, so they could lock eyes in the mirror. “You’re beautiful.”
She rolled her eyes. “Was beautiful. I don’t look anything like I used to.”
And that was the problem, she wanted to look like she used to so badly. Back when she’d been able to fit into almost anything and it not be a problem. Dear Lord but she longed for those days.
Drew didn’t know what the hell was going on. He always tried to show Charity how beautiful she was, always tried to compliment her and let her know he loved her. He’d noticed how quiet she was lately, but he’d thought it was them trying to deal with taking care of two babies. He’d glossed over the fact she looked sad lately by telling himself it was lack of sleep, it was getting up during the night and then the alarm going off not fifteen minutes after getting back in bed. He’d told himself the way she sometimes answered him with one sylla
ble words was because she was irritated or tired or because she was busy at work.
Never once did he think it was because she was insecure about how she looked. And he damn sure never thought she’d be crying about it. This was fucking killing him.
Turning her in his arms, he titled her head back. “Talk to me. What’s going on here?”
She fought bravely to keep the tears in, but one escaped the corner of her eye. He mopped it up and waited patiently, which was difficult. It was hard to let her come to him, when what he really wanted to do was force whatever was bothering her out. He’d learned in their time together she had to come to grips with her fears.
“I didn’t realize how much it meant to me,” she started, heaving a full breath. “The number on a scale, the number on my dresses, the way things fit me. I didn’t realize how much it meant to me, especially coming from the mom I had who put such an emphasis on good looks and using them to get by. I feel like a fraud now because I can’t handle that I don’t look the way I used to.” She pushed her head back down again. “Then I think well, what if Drew doesn’t find me attractive anymore? What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me as before? What if he’s looking at other women? It plays through my head all the time. I had no idea I was so damn shallow.”
Drew took her hand and pulled it to the fly of the slacks he wore. “Does this feel like I don’t find you attractive anymore? Does this feel like I’m out looking for other women? You’re my wife. The mother of my children. You know what kind of a relationship I grew up with, with Liam and my mom. I have a very healthy respect for it. If I’ve done something to make you think I’m not all in with you, please tell me.”
“No, no, this is all me,” she shook her head. “All completely me, this is my self-doubt. Knowing that you still want me, you still want to be in this with me is enough.”
He wondered if it was, but he let it go. They had to get moving in the right direction. “First things first, let’s pick you out a dress.”
She pointed to the two she knew she had a chance of wearing and waited for his decision.
Chapter Forty-One
Drew Walker had never been so bored in his life. Business shindigs weren’t his thing, but they meant a lot to Charity and her law firm. Here, he couldn’t wear his cut, couldn’t show most of the tattoos he had, and he had to pretend like he’d never done anything wrong.
It all made him feel claustrophobic, but he’d do it for Charity. There wasn’t really anyone here for him to speak with, no one here who pretended to be friendly with him, but that was okay. He was doing a great job holding up the bar. Especially after Steele and Christine had cut out an hour ago. He checked his watch and let his gaze roam the room for his wife.
For the first time he noticed that the room they were in was nauseating in its Christmas cheer. It looked like a giant Christmas present. He and Charity had already done the exchanging of gifts, back in November. He had to smile, they’d never been good at hiding gifts from one another. Usually they flat out told each other what they were getting the other. It had been a necessity this year though, as both her car and his motorcycle had bitten the dust. Now they were proud owners of a luxury SUV and the newest Harley Roadster. They’d be paying for those for a while, but they were both excited and as Charity had said, at least those didn’t collect dust or sit unused.
His eyes found Charity as she worked the room. The tears from earlier were gone, and she smiled brightly as she held a glass of wine in her hand. She was in her element here, letting her personality shine through. He could tell by the way other people nodded and smiled at her, they enjoyed speaking with her. While some men would probably feel a little intimidated by the fact, he enjoyed it. Loved it, even. It was important for him to know Charity was happy. Working, and helping other people made her happy. He would never take that away from her.
Tipping back his bottle of beer, he smiled at her when their eyes met. She gave him a loopy smile back and he knew she was close to her limit. He chuckled and downed the rest of his beer, putting money on the counter before pushing off his stool and walking over to where she stood.
“Are you okay? I feel like I’ve abandoned you,” she put her free arm around his waist, hugging him to her.
“I’m good, you haven’t abandoned me at all. I’m enjoying watching you flit around the room like the social butterfly you try to pretend you’re not.”
She laughed. Her eyes bright, her cheeks red, he could tell she was feeling good.
“I always worried if I let myself be social like that, people would think I was like my mom.”
They barely ever talked about Jasmine’s days as a stripper. She’d started doing some work with CRISIS over the years, and even though she still dressed a little like Gemma Teller, she loved her new role as Grandma. For the most part. Okay, she lied about her age, but both he and Charity let her indulge in the fake number.
“No one would ever mistake you for her,” Drew kissed her on the forehead.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with what she did,” she was quick to say.
Drew lightly gripped her neck. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I was there, remember? A lot of things were said to you because of who she was and what she did. But that doesn’t mean you can’t go out and have a good time. I’m here to make sure nobody gives you a hard time.”
“Yeah,” she licked her lips, leaning into him. Once she was close to his ear, he felt her breath wash over the lobe. “My knight in shining armor.”
She really was drunk. She was flirting. “You flirting with me?”
“What if I am?” she took the last swallow in her wine glass and set it on a tray as a waiter walked by. “I know I haven’t done it in a long time, but I’m not bad at it am I?” She frowned up at him.
Drew couldn’t help the grin covering his face. She’d furrowed her brow so hard she had a wrinkle in her forehead. Reaching up, he smoothed it out. “No babe, trust me. You definitely know how to flirt and you look hot doing it.”
He took a moment to appreciate the dress they’d finally decided on. Ignoring the fact they were at a Christmas party, he’d convinced her to wear the sexiest little black dress he’d ever seen. It accentuated her curves, thrust her boobs out, and the edges of it skimmed just above her knees. She wore red high heels and he couldn’t wait to see if those would later be wrapped around his waist.
“You wanna get out of here?” he asked, tipping his head towards the door.
“Like go back to our room?” she blurted out, louder than she meant to, because she quickly moved the palm of her hand over her mouth.
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Back to our room.”
They gazed at each other for what felt like an eternity. Finally, she nodded and let him take her hand, leading her out of the party.
Charity’s heart beat a fast rhythm as she let Drew take the lead. She was beyond nervous, which was so weird because they were married. She’d lost her virginity to him, he’d done things to and seen parts of her that no one besides her OBGYN had ever seen. She couldn’t figure out why she was nervous. It could possibly be because she was a little tipsy.
Before tonight, she hadn’t had a drink in over a year and a half. She’d been pregnant and then she’d been breastfeeding. She didn’t subscribe to the pump and dump way of breastfeeding, so she’d gone balls to the wall, like she did everything else, and had stayed away from anything that could have hurt her girls.
Tonight though, Mama was gonna have a good time.
Stumbling slightly as they exited the building, Drew grabbed her around the waist and pulled her in so their chests met. Her soft one crushed against his hard one. She couldn’t stop from lifting up on her tiptoes – even in the high heels – and planting a kiss on his lips.
The kiss was more than she’d bargained for from the moment their lips met. With twin daughters it was difficult to get time alone, for a few seconds, much less for long enough to have private time. It wasn’t to say t
hey hadn’t worked it out, but it was difficult. And lately they’d wanted sleep more than they’d wanted quiet time. Priorities had shifted, that happened with life, but tonight she wanted to make him her top priority. They needed to be their own number ones for a few hours.
His tongue caressed hers as he pressed her against the wall of the commerce building. They’d stumbled until her back hit the brick of the exterior. She shoved her fingers through his hair, holding his mouth to hers, wanting to take every bit she could. When they couldn’t breathe any longer, she pulled away. Her eyes were closed as she licked her lips, massaging his neck. “I brought lingerie to the room for tonight.”
He growled, his Adams apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed roughly. “You planned this?”
She let her head fall to his shoulder. “I wouldn’t call it a plan, exactly. I kind of hoped the two of us would have some alone time, but I’ve learned to not plan.”
He laughed so hard she felt it reverberate against her in his chest. She giggled along with him. The one time they’d actually planned alone time, they hadn’t wanted to ask anyone to watch the twins because they hadn’t wanted to admit why they needed a babysitter. Drew had lit candles, she’d gotten ready and as soon as things got hot and heavy with them, both girls had woken up, screaming like they were dying. Life with twin babies was busy-busy and they both had to be able to shift into action mode at a moment’s notice.
They’d never planned another night again.
“All right,” he pulled her to his side as they walked across the street to the hotel. “Then let’s get on with our non-plan.”
She took a second to text Tatum – checking in on the girls – and when she received verification they were alive and doing well in the form of pictures, she let him lead her into their room.
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