She wished he hadn’t spoken them. She wished she hadn’t heard them. But she had, and she was faced with having to relive the painful truth of what she’d done, and what she instantly felt each time she heard his words. It was like a hot knife cutting through her chest in an endless cycle of torture.
But no matter how hard or what she tried, she couldn’t escape them. She heard them during class, at the video store, and in her car. She heard them before she slept, when she slept, and after she awakened from a restless night, and each time it only reaffirmed the fear she had about the whole situation.
But she had to face it. She had to be honest with herself no matter how much, or how hard, she wished things were different. She had to face the cold, hard fact, that she was nothing more than her younger brother’s current object of interest; an experimental phase in his young life.
She was, just as she feared, Aidan’s newest exciting adventure. His words told her as much. But really, she said to herself. Was that such a huge surprise?
“No,” she sighed softly. “I guess not.”
She stood in the cool kitchen looking out into the shade of the backyard. Beyond the small canopy of trees, she could see the black, wrought iron fence surrounding the sparkling pool. It was Saturday again, a whole week since that event by her room, and the evening when she knew, beyond any doubt, she was in deep, deep trouble.
“God. You’re pathetic,” she said softly. “How could you be so stupid, Dionne?”
Her pretty face looked deeply troubled, hinting at the turmoil inside her. She lowered her eyes under a frown, hugging herself tightly as she stood there, wondering how long she’d been standing in front of the wide kitchen window.
Time just seemed to fly by those days. A whole week passed, yet it felt as if that moment of her humiliation had happened just moments ago. It still felt that real, that big, and that painful.
And she was all alone to deal with it by herself.
The family was out before she got up that Saturday morning. No one bothered her, and that’s exactly what she needed now. She needed time to think, time to recoup herself and find that balance that had been missing ever since that not-very-sibling kiss a week ago.
The last thing she felt strong enough for, were curious eyes. She must’ve been acting out of sorts, because far too many curious eyes were on her those days, although she pretended not to see them.
Although she’d prefer someone to turn to and talk to about how she was feeling, perhaps draw on their strength to make it her own so she could deal with this, she also knew she needed time alone. She needed time to recoup. She also needed to steer clear of her sexy younger brother—something she’d successfully accomplished in that past week.
She’d been vigilant and creative at avoiding being anywhere near Aidan. It really wasn’t all that hard. Since the championship, he’d been invited to party after party, taking him away from the house every day. He was also busy meeting with scouts for universities. She easily avoided being in the same room with him, but then again, his schedule made it easier for her. It was almost as if he was staying away from the house more and more, too . . .
Then she frowned.
Wait a doggone minute. What if the success she’d booked avoiding him had everything to do with him avoiding her? Could that be it? Could it be that Aidan was avoiding her as much as she was avoiding him?
“Oh Jesus,” she moaned in torment. “Please say it isn’t so.”
When Aidan came home, she always made sure she left for her attic room or she’d quickly call Helmut to go out before Aidan was back. Although the Craftsman house was huge, she still felt as if the walls were closing in on her, and she felt an overpowering need to get out and away from him—and her naughty thoughts—as much as possible.
But did her success at avoiding him had more to do with Aidan being as sorry for what happened as she was?
That thought slammed her unexpectedly square in the chest, and it hurt enough to make her catch her breath. Because fact of the matter was, even though every rational bone in her body told her she couldn’t continue down this road with her younger brother, her heart wanted nothing more.
“Pathetic,” she said, making a face before she shook her head. Then she looked wholly disenchanted. “Urgh!” she finally exploded before she snapped around and began locking up the house.
She needed something to take her mind off of her forbidden desires. She needed to stop thinking about Aidan. She needed to freakin’ cool her head already!
Dionne finished locking all the doors and ended up in the family room. She paused when the California sun bounced off the rippling surface of the family pool, making silver lights dance and bounce off the walls of the cool, shaded room.
She paused, suddenly feeling this sickening sense of suffocation; feeling so caged all of a sudden. She needed to breathe. She needed fresh air. She was already getting very lightheaded, and she was near hyperventilating.
Then she slowly blinked big, thoughtful eyes as she turned her attention to the window and looked through the lace curtains. A clever thought hit her, and she already felt a little better.
“Why not?” she said before she whipped around and rushed out of the family room, down the hall, and toward the stairs.
Since it was Saturday, and she knew everyone was out till evening, she decided to, literally, cool her heels. A soothing swim in the family pool was the perfect solution.
It had been a long time since she’d been in the family pool. Classes, work, Helmut, and preparation for Aidan’s last championship soccer game kept her from a weekly swim, and at the end of those longer than long days, she just didn’t have the energy to join the family in the pool.
Summer was heating up those troubling days, but it also signaled more down time for the entire family. Including Aidan. More down time meant being around each other more. After what happened, she knew this was a very bad idea, so it was no huge mystery she wasn’t looking forward to that particular summer.
Maybe it was time she left the nest? Maybe it was time she stopped thinking about Helmut’s offer to move to Loma Linda with him, and just do it? Loma Linda wasn’t on the other side of the country so it wasn’t all that far—something, she knew, Mom would be devastated by were that the case—but it wasn’t next door, either. The distance was enough for her to never have to see Aidan again if she didn’t want to.
She knew she could finish her internship at Loma Linda University which would take her far away from Aidan and the inevitable catastrophe staring them both in the face. Although she’d thought it was an impossibility when Helmut first mentioned it to her, it was becoming increasingly tempting now.
Dionne was well aware she was merely trying to run away from her problems, rather than face them, but for once in her life, she felt she needed to be the coward. She knew her attraction for her younger brother was too strong to fight. She’d always been a smart cookie.
For the past year, she hadn’t been out of the house much unless it was to go to classes or to her job at The Video Paradise. With Helmut busy with his own internship now, their dates were limited to one night a week.
So it was no surprise he was so disappointed when she told him she couldn’t accompany him to Loma Linda that Saturday. In retrospect, she should have, though. Then she wouldn’t be in this state now. Yes, she was still in that “state”, but it was a choice she had to make.
She’d refused touching herself ever since she hadn’t finished the last time, but she was too afraid she’d be tempted into thinking about her brother while getting busy with herself, and that would only weaken her will to steer clear of him.
She truly missed spending nights with the family, though, but that was the price to pay for not being more careful. She just couldn’t bring herself to be around the family with the risk of being in the same room with Aidan. She needed time to strengthen herself against . . . herself.
Unfortunately, Aidan was home more those days than he’d ever been in th
e past—despite his busy summer itinerary. For most of his life, a person couldn’t keep him home with a team of horses—wait. Wrong metaphor. Most days, a person couldn’t keep him home even if he were shackled to the foundation.
Although she refused to show it, it hurt her every time to see Mom rise from her seat to serve her dinner only to look almost slain when she said no each and every time. It really hurt having to tell Mom she’d already had something to eat at school or work because she knew how important it was for Mom to have her enjoy her cooking—something she was very proud of.
Of course she wasn’t at all that brave. Her rejections were usually given in passing as she rushed for the stairs and flew up them to the safety of her bedroom. It was hard enough to see Mom’s smile fade each time she was rejected—that’s how Mom saw it—and she never failed to feel the burn of tears in her own eyes.
Now, this late Saturday morning, just a week after that incident with Aidan, she was home alone, by the pool, staring down at the beckoning blink of the rippling water in summer’s breeze.
She decided a short swim would suffice. It would be just enough to ease her tense muscles before she’d head out to the Santa Anita Mall with a couple of girlfriends. She really disliked going to the popular and busy indoor shopping plaza for any reason, but the place, bustling with people and loud rides for kids, would be a welcome distraction now.
“Hm,” she mused. “Maybe a pair of new shoes or a new outfit for tonight might help lighten the mood.” Then she made a face. “Even though it would lighten my wallet as well.”
She was thinking about calling Helmut for a long overdue dinner date. He’d have to pay for it, though. Maybe they could split the costs for a movie, too. Then, perhaps, go to his parents’ house until about 9:30 in the evening when she was sure Aidan would still be out with his friends. Mom and Dad would have the children in bed and they’d retire right after, too.
Saturday nights were usually quiet times, if Mom and Dad were asked to visit friends. And they had a lot of friends! Now that the kids were older and less boisterous, Mom and Dad usually took them to Arcadia Park during the day where there was a public swimming pool with lots of colorful slides for them to tire themselves on. That public pool, unlike the family pool, was a lot of fun for kids.
The family pool was Olympic size, but it really was boring, lacking all the fun stuff. It really wasn’t built for family fun anyway. It was actually put in for Aidan ever since he’d taken up swimming.
Dad had put the pool in for him so he could train at home. But that was years ago, and Aidan no longer participated in swimming contests, and she wondered if she could convince Mom and Dad to have the pool renovated for the kids.
Her gaze roamed the giant, blue sparkling pool, already seeing the colorful waterslides and water cannons placed here and there. Her gaze inevitably landed on herself, and then down her length. Her lips tightened as she glared at the flaws of her much too plump, young body.
She believed she had the fattest thighs in the world! They were, in addition to being much too wide, pretty pasty and pale, too. She really needed more sun. And a good aerobics workout. That Fonda lady had a few tapes she might be able to rent for longer periods of time IF she asked her boss nicely.
Although she hated wearing a swimming suit—and would’ve rather worn a tee shirt and shorts to camouflage her “thunder-thighs”—a proper swimming suit was mandatory wear in the family pool.
So not really having any choice, she pulled on her really unflattering one-piece that, at least, had pretty colors going for it. It was a bathing suit in various shades of green and aqua, but the cut would have appealed more to grandmothers rather than twenty-three year old college co-eds.
Then again, she was a bit of a nerd, and she was alone. Or, so she thought.
As she stood at the edge of the pool, close to the pre-molded steps, she quietly braided her long, mousy brown hair in a single braid. This was another rule Mom and Dad were fanatical about. They wanted to avoid loose hair from getting caught in the filter and have Jason, their pool man, blow a gasket in an easily provoked fit when he’d find gobs of it in the filter. So everyone with long hair had to braid it before entering the pool.
As she was busy doing just that, she allowed her toe to gingerly test the temperature of the water. Satisfied that the gas heater had sufficiently warmed the pool water, she smiled and nodded. Actually, the water temp was perfect. She could dive right in without feeling as if she’d been hit by a block of ice.
She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn’t see a tall, dark, handsome Adonis in a tropical blue and black Bermuda silently walk up behind her. She didn’t notice a thing, actually, as deep in thought as she was. Not even the long, lean, sinewy arms slowly slipping around her body—until it was too late.
She jolted into a stiff stance feeling arms snake around her. She knew they couldn’t belong to anyone but Aidan. But the arms were not the end of that physical touching. His body followed, pressing gently against her from behind.
She held her breath as her heart thudded so hard she was sure he’d feel it. Instead of immediately fighting him off—and weeks later, she’d still ask herself why she hadn’t—she squeezed her eyes shut just before she felt him rest his chin on her shoulder.
She could barely breathe! And what was that zooming in her ear??
“I know you’ve been avoiding me, Dionne,” she could hear her brother say in her ear. “I know you’re still upset with me for being too brash. I didn’t mean to. I’m really sorry. Let’s stop this. Let’s end this. Okay?”
End this?
Her blood swirled thick and hot like lava, making its way slowly up to her dizzy brain. The higher it crept, the hotter it got, and she found she could barely think straight while being completely conscious how good it felt in her brother’s warm, loving, strong arms.
“N-No, don’t worry,” she finally got out. “It’s-it’s fine. It’s okay . . .”
She really tried to sound normal, but even in her ears, where there was a lot of whooshing going on, she could hear how breathless she sounded. She could only hang on to the tiniest hope that she sounded normal enough in his ears.
She was sure everything would be right as rain if only she could get him to remove his arms, maybe take a step or two back . . . a foot or two? Who was she kidding? Short of him vanishing into thin air, she knew she was in trouble. Deep trouble.
She couldn’t suppress a delicious shudder. There was a distinct sting in her puckered nipples, and it reverberated all the way down and deeply into her ovaries. But it didn’t stop there. It went deeper still, until the sting became fiery sizzles, and they infiltrated her cervix, quickly spreading to her swelling clit.
All this without even being touched in a sexual way! How pathetic is that?
Nearly choking now, her heart began slamming against her ribs. She never knew a human heart could beat so hard! It almost felt what she imagined the John Hurt character in the movie, Aliens, to feel when he was invaded by a spawn that decided it wanted out all of a sudden.
She felt she was losing complete control of the situation, her body, and her mind. With what little rational thought she still possessed, she knew she had to push her brother back in order to regain some semblance of sanity, or she’d be lost.
With the last ounce of will power she had left, she was about to shove her younger brother back, but then she got another shock to the system when she felt something hard, hot, and thick pressing against the crack of her ass!
Just realizing it was her brother’s cock, erect, hard and ready, pressing against the crack of her behind sent her spontaneously over the edge. The imagined site of how he was pressed against her, and her self-imposed, week-long celibacy, sent a rapid firing of tiny lightning bolts straight from her nipples down and deep into her frantically clenching thighs.
Her world spun out of control. She couldn’t hold back a tortured moan. She tried, she really tried, clamping teeth down until she was su
re they’d crack, but it was to no avail. Nothing could stop the powerful explosion of a spontaneous orgasm, and the moan that came with it.
“Oh my GOD!!” she thought half in panic, half in ecstasy.
Her head flew back tightly against her brother’s hard shoulder, and she caught her breath as she went utterly stiff before she began to shake uncontrollably.
Through it all, even during wave after wave of the most incredible orgasm she’d ever experienced splashing over her uncontrollably, Dionne hoped and prayed and prayed and hoped he wouldn’t notice what was happening.
Yeah. Right.
To her horror—and immense pleasure—she had her first spontaneous orgasm, and it was like a nuclear bomb going off inside her. It shook her from the top of her head to the tingling tips of her toes, and she felt totally discombobulated.
Her body had come alive merely by feeling her sexy brother’s body against hers, and not only that, but she soon realized how treacherous her body could be when she discovered, much to her shock, how during it all, one of her arms had lifted and cupped the back of his neck tightly.
Back of his NECK?
Her eyes shot open, and she heard just how quickly her breaths were gushing out as reality sunk in, and with it, a good dose of horrified shock—as in massive quantities of it.
Almost immediately thereafter, and filled with an immense guilt, she froze on the spot, not knowing what to do next. That’s okay. Her brother wasn’t as distraught. In fact, he wasn’t distraught at all.
“Let’s not fight this anymore, Dionne. We don’t have to. We both know this is good, and I want to be good to you,” she heard Aidan say hoarsely behind her. His voice was deep and velvety, capturing and holding her full, dizzy attention.
Then she felt his lips against the side of her neck. Soft, warm, full lips were tenderly nipping the sensitive skin just above the fast-beating artery in her neck, keeping her in a dizzy state where thinking was an impossibility.
“Aidan—”
“It’s all right, Dionne,” he whispered. “Don’t fight it.”
Loving Siblings: Aidan & Dionne Page 8