Love Finds You in Nazareth, Pennsylvania

by Melanie Dobson

  “I was using the privy,” Catharine said before she glared at Christian. “I’m not sure what Christian is doing out here.”

  When Elias turned his head, Christian saw fury in the bitter calm of his eyes.

  I wanted to see your wife.

  He didn’t say the words, couldn’t seem to say anything, but the truth ricocheted inside him. A truth too despicable to speak. He may not have known Catharine was out here when he stepped into the darkness, but once he knew, he should have run back into the lodge.

  “You were saying you desired my wife,” Elias said.

  “Once.” He stumbled on the word. “A long time ago.”

  Elias turned back to his wife, hurt laced through his demand. “What happened, Catharine?”

  “Christian and I met in London, before my family joined the Brethren,” she tried to explain. “We spent time together, Elias, but I never promised him anything.”

  “Did you flirt with him?”

  How could Catharine deny her feelings for him? It had been there when she’d touched his arm, kissed his cheek. It had been there when they talked of marriage. It shouldn’t matter—Catharine had chosen Elias over him—but it did matter.

  “She didn’t do anything wrong,” Christian interjected. “It was all in my head.”

  Elias ignored him. “You didn’t even tell me you knew of him before Marienborn.”

  “Nothing happened between us.”

  Elias twisted his hands together. “If nothing happened, then one of you would have told me.”

  The truth in his words hushed Christian’s retort. Elias was right.

  “Does Susanna know?” Elias asked.

  “No, she doesn’t,” he started, but Catharine stopped him.

  “She probably suspects. It would be hard not to, Christian, when you won’t stop watching me.”

  Elias flinched. “You’ve been watching my wife?”

  Christian couldn’t look Elias in the eye. “I’m sorry.”

  “And what have you been doing, Catharine?” Elias asked

  “Nothing,” she insisted. “I swear.”

  Christian reached out, taking Elias’s elbow. “She hasn’t done anything to encourage me.”

  Elias shook his arm away. “Don’t tell me about my wife.”

  “I’m sorry,” he murmured again.

  Elias moved away from them, toward the darkness of the trees. “Sort it out,” he said. “And then decide who you will have, Catharine.”

  Catharine was seething when she turned again to Christian. “I asked you to leave me alone, Christian, and now you—”

  He watched as she stomped away, back into the lodge. It didn’t matter how sorry he was. They needed to bond as a community to spread the good news, but his selfishness, his weakness, was destroying it for all of them.

  He walked slowly back up the stairs and lay down on his mattress. From now on, he would leave Catharine Schmidt alone.

  Chapter Thirteen

  March 1755

  A trombone blasted from the plaza below to awaken the Brethren, but Susanna was already awake. She stood at the window like she had every morning since Christian left, praying that the messengers would be safe, praying that Christian and the others would return this spring. She was anxious to see Christian again, to see if something had changed within him in the six months he’d been gone, to see if he missed her as much as she had missed him.

  Snow clustered around the edges of the glass panes and iced Nazareth’s trees beyond the plaza. She shouldn’t worry about Christian and Catharine and the other messengers out in the spring snow, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. Rumors had poured into their community the past few weeks about hostile Indians scalping both white men and enemies from other Indian nations. There had even been stories of these Indians making alliances with the French and attacking the British forts near Canada as well as British settlers across the Colonies.

  None of this should concern her—the Brethren embraced peace instead of war, refusing to take sides in any skirmish between the French and the British soldiers in the Colonies or among the Indians. But still she worried. The warring Indians and soldiers didn’t know that their community aligned with God instead of man.

  As she ran her fingers over the cold glass, she prayed that God would keep their people safe from those who were fighting each other.

  Lily stepped up to the window beside her, her arms empty. She had taken Nathan to the Nursery in December, and while her friend had said she was ready for him to go, she continued to mourn the loss of him.

  But she didn’t speak of her son this morning. “Your husband must miss you as well.”

  Susanna slid her fingers over the glass, hoping again that Christian did miss her. “I’d hoped he would return by my birthday.”

  “When is your birthday?”

  “The second of April.”

  “I’m sure he will do everything he can to return.” Lily tapped at the pane and the snow fell away. “When you look out at the snow, thinking of him, he is probably thinking of you too.”

  Susanna twisted her hair and pinned it back before she placed her haube over it.

  The great manor house was finally complete. The men had finished the inside two weeks ago, and a dozen women had scrubbed the interior before the laborers carried furniture into the house and hung the drapery. The appointed women had told Susanna and the others about the interior of the house, fit for the most royal of families, but Susanna had yet to see it.

  Annabel’s inspection had found a trail of footprints and dust the laborers had left behind as they removed the furnishings from the barn and arranged them inside the grand house. Susanna and Lily had been assigned to clean the interior one more time, in preparation for the arrival of Count Zinzendorf and his family.

  While they were expecting the Zinzendorfs to live in the manor, she knew of no plans for the family to arrive. However, the Count often kept his travel plans secret so he wouldn’t have to endure the fanfare that came with his visits. It terrified Annabel to think that the Count might arrive in Nazareth at any moment and find the manor their community had worked so hard to build for him and his family sullied with dust and dirt.

  Even if the manor were spotless, if the Zinzendorfs did arrive this spring, there was still a problem of feeding their family. The workers the elders had hired to help build the manor had eaten through most of Nazareth’s winter supply. Annabel would insist on the finest of their limited food supply for the Count’s family, and while Susanna wasn’t privy to the conversations of their leadership, she knew well the shrinking supply in their pantries and root cellar. Until the snow cleared away and the spring gardens began to provide for them, they would be pressing hard to feed the adults and children currently living in their community.

  But Annabel was resourceful, as was the laborer named Edward. Susanna had no doubt that the two of them, along with Elder Graff, would find a way to supply food for Nazareth until summer.

  After breakfast, Susanna wrapped her cloak across her shoulders and picked up a wooden bucket filled with water and vinegar for the floors. Flinging several rags over her arm, she joined Lily and two other sisters as they crossed the plaza.

  They walked up the steps to the imposing front door on the manor, and Susanna’s mouth dropped with they entered the great room.

  “Auwulsu,” Lily whispered.

  Susanna nodded first before realizing she understood the word. Beautiful.

  Lily stepped into the center of the great room and began to twirl, her dark braids whirling behind her. Like Catharine, Lily was too pretty to be wearing the simple haube and dress of their community. And too wild. She reminded Susanna of a great cat no one could tame.

  Drapes flowered with greens and reds covered the windows in the great room, and woven carpets decorated the floors. The furniture and tables were covered with white sheets, and a mirror reflected the sunlight. The splendor inside was probably subdued compared to the castles and manors in Eu
rope, but after living in the utilitarian rooms of the Sisters House for so long, Susanna was mesmerized by the beauty of it all.

  As she passed by the mirror, she caught an image of herself. She stared for a moment at the strands of pale hair that circled the hem of her cap and eyes that were dulled by the gray light. Then she pressed her hands over her ginger-colored bodice and straightened her skirt before she looked away. Her health had recovered, but she still wished she were as beautiful as Catharine. Perhaps then she would see a reflection of this beauty in her husband’s eyes.

  She turned to the other women. “Where should we begin?”

  “Usually we start up in the bedrooms,” Ruth replied. “We work our way down.”

  Lily stepped toward the door.

  “It is too much to clean,” she said, but Susanna waved her forward.

  “Not if we work together.”

  A wide staircase led them up to the top floor and light flooded through the dormer windows in each room. For as far as she could see, snow covered the hills and trees beyond Nazareth.

  She and Lily stepped into the room at the end of the hallway while their sisters began cleaning across the hall. There were no pictures on the wall of the chamber where they began, but the men had furnished it with a poster bed, a washstand with a ceramic bowl and pitcher, and a plain chair by the window.

  Water sloshed out of the bucket when Lily dropped it onto the floor. “Who will sleep in all these rooms?”

  “The Zinzendorfs will probably travel with their children.”

  “A whole family could sleep in one of these rooms.”

  Lily opened a window, shaking the rugs outside, as she began to sing a new song in her language.

  “What does that mean?” Susanna asked.

  “Too much work will steal your life away.”

  Susanna laughed as she dusted the posters of the bed. “That’s not true.”

  Lily didn’t return her laughter. “We will grow old cleaning this house and still your Count will not come.”

  “We don’t know that,” Susanna said. “There are more people arriving from Marienborn this month. The Count and his wife might accompany them.”

  Lily set the rug on the floor and looked back out the window. “If only we could go play in the snow.”

  Susanna followed Lily’s gaze, wishing as well that she could be outside. “Perhaps Annabel will let us go to the Nursery later today and play with the children.”

  Lily clapped. “We could throw balls of the snow.”

  Susanna smiled. Sometimes she forgot that even though Lily had a baby, she was still more child than adult.

  In broad strokes, Lily washed the footprints off the floor. Susanna didn’t point out all the dirt she missed in her rushed work. Lily was made to be outside, playing and leaping like a panther, instead of being cooped up inside a house. On days like this, Susanna wondered why Lily continued to stay with the Brethren instead of going back to her tribe, but Lily refused to speak of her life before she came to Nazareth, except on those rare days when she mentioned that her husband would one day return for her. Susanna wondered why the man hadn’t yet come.

  Kneeling down, Susanna helped Lily finish the floor, and then they moved into the next chamber. This one was much bigger. Curtains were drawn over the large bed, and glass vases were on the long dresser. Two pictures hung on the wall. One was of a staunch man in a dark cloak; the other, a woman wearing a haube with wide blue ribbons tied under her chin.

  Lily’s gaze remained on the pictures. “Who are they?”

  “That’s Count Zinzendorf,” Susanna said. “And the woman is Countess Erdmuth, his wife.”

  Erdmuth wasn’t a very pretty woman, but her ability to handle business matters was renowned among the Brethren. She was as capable as any man and certainly more capable than her husband when it came to financial matters. While the Count remained busy preaching and governing over the Brethren, the Countess ran their estates.

  “Tell me about this Count Zinzendorf,” Lily said.

  Susanna thought for a moment. How could she describe this larger-than-life man who had sacrificed his position and much of his wealth for the Brethren?

  “He was a Count with the royal court, but he felt a strong calling to begin a community called Hernnhut to harbor Christians escaping religious persecution in Moravia and across Europe and Russia,” she explained. “He lay down his prestige and position in the empire to lead our people and become a Lutheran minister. Most of his family refuses to forgive him for it, but his wife supports him, as do the rest of the Brethren.”

  Susanna scrubbed the floor even harder, grateful at all the Zinzendorfs had done for them. The fact that the Count and his family would even consider staying here for a season, living among them, was remarkable.

  “The Count always tries to do what is right for our community,” she continued to explain. “He calms strife and helps people from many different countries and religious backgrounds to live and seek God together.”

  “He reminds me of my father,” Lily said. “Or at least the part about calming strife in your community. My clan has yet to seek God together.”

  “Some day, perhaps, they will seek God.”

  While Susanna often watched the window for Christian’s return, Lily never seemed to watch for Nathan’s father. Or if she did, Lily never told her. She sang instead, of flowers and dance, and she played with Nathan in the Nursery whenever possible.

  Susanna picked up one of the vases and slowly wiped it. It would take days for them to dust the stored furniture and wash the floors, but she wouldn’t complain. It was a welcome relief from the monotony in the Sisters House. Still, she longed to go on a mission to the Indians.

  Before she put the vase down, she heard footsteps racing up the hallway, and one of her fellow workers rushed into the room.

  Ruth took a long breath. “The messengers are back.”

  Susanna dropped the vase.

  Ruth jump backward as pieces shattered on the floor. The woman looked down at the blue shards and then back up. Susanna stared at the shards as well, unable to speak. How could she have been so foolish?

  Lily scooted her out the door. “Go see him,” she insisted. “I will clean up the glass.”

  But Susanna stood frozen in her place. After all these months of waiting and wondering, her husband had finally come home. She brushed her hands over her work dress. If only she’d known when he was returning, she would have chosen a different dress. The blue one from their wedding.

  “Go,” Lily commanded, nudging her again.

  This time she listened, hurrying down the long hallway and steps. Would he ignore her like he had after their journey from Marienborn, or would he greet her with a kiss on her cheek? Surely he wouldn’t ignore her, not after the moments they shared in the chamber. He may not love her, but they had connected in a small way as brother and sister. She prayed he would want to see her again.

  Stopping on the staircase, she wiped her sleeve across her face and wished again she could change into better attire, but there was no time now. She wanted to be one of the first to greet him.

  Her petticoat lifted above her knees, she ran across the plaza toward the Gemeinhaus. Dozens had already gathered inside to welcome their brothers and sisters home, and she scooted around them with no thought for protocol. She wanted to see her husband.

  Rebecca was the first person she saw, standing beside Joseph. Her face was thinner than when she left, her haube replaced by a single braid that trailed down her back. Instead of looking excited when she saw Susanna, her smile faded a bit, and in the fading of her friend’s smile, Susanna’s heart began to plunge.

  She greeted her friend with a kiss on each of her cheeks, and then she scanned the heads of the crowd. “Where is Christian?”

  Rebecca shook her head. “He’s not here.”

  “But—” She couldn’t allow herself to consider what might have happened to him. “Where did he go?”

  “There y
ou are!” she heard Catharine exclaim. When she turned, Catharine engulfed her in her arms. And then she stepped back. Her friend’s stomach had grown large in the months she was gone.

  “Catharine?”

  “The Schmidt baby will arrive very soon.”

  Her mind seemed to whirl. When had her friend gotten pregnant?

  Catharine leaned in, whispering to her. “Elias and I snuck away together in Bethlehem.”

  Susanna studied her friend’s face, but there was no glow like she’d seen among some of the other married women. Something was wrong.

  “Where is Christian?” she asked again, this time more reluctantly than the first. She searched her friend’s face, confused. “Where did he go?”

  “He and Samuel left in January to visit the Indians.”

  “Why didn’t you wait for them to return?” Susanna asked.

  “Our baby is coming soon.” Catharine rolled her hands over her belly. “Elias thought it would be too dangerous to have our baby in Gnadenhutten.”

  “Your husband is a wise man.”

  “No.” Catharine shook her head. “He is a foolish one.”

  Susanna didn’t know what to say for a moment. Catharine had never spoken an ill word about Elias. “The baby will be born in a safe place here.”

  “This has nothing to do with the baby.”

  “Come, Catharine.” Elias stepped beside them, taking her arm. “You must rest.”

  As Susanna watched them leave the Saal, she wondered what had happened between them. Had the months Catharine and Elias spent together sapped the sweetness out of their relationship? This was the precise reason most of the married Brethren lived separate. The conflict from marital life was taxing on the spirit and the mind. But too much time apart was taxing on the soul.

  She slipped back through the crowd, toward the Sisters House. Disappointment hung like a dark cloud over her as she shuffled into the house and collapsed on a leather chair in the common room. She’d wanted Christian to return for her birthday, but she never should have expected it. Of course he had stayed with the Indians. It was his passion to live among them.

  As the others celebrated in the Gemeinhaus, her tears fell freely in the quiet space.