Endless Obsession

by Alex Grayson

  I see, rather than hear her laugh. I stick out my tongue and remove my hands from my ears.

  “You can’t say that crap to me. I don’t need any details on Tony’s tongue and what he does with it.”

  She laughs. Her engagement ring twinkles from the light filtering through the window. I reach over and run my finger across the diamond resting on the silver band.

  “I can’t believe how gorgeous this is.”

  She looks down at the band. The smile on her face couldn’t be construed as anything other than pure joy and awe.

  “It is, isn’t it? It belonged to his great-grandmother before it was passed down to his grandmother, and then his mom. Can you imagine having something that’s been around for generations?”

  I smile at her soft look as she twists the ring around her finger.

  “I know you just got engaged, but have you both talked about a date yet?”

  “We haven’t made it official, but we were thinking this fall.”

  Her answer doesn’t surprise me. Liv and I have talked about our dream weddings numerous times. We both want to get married outside; however, while I want to get married in the summer on a lake somewhere, she wants to get married in the fall beneath a canopy of trees when the leaves start to change colors.

  “So that leaves us a little less than a year,” I comment. “We can totally pull this off, but we should probably get started.”

  Her grin is huge. “Already started. Being sick in bed for two days was boring. Me and my computer started browsing dress shops.”

  “Okay, that’s it. I’m coming over this weekend. You can’t do this without me,” I tell her, popping a piece of cheese in my mouth.

  “I wouldn’t dream of it. You’re my maid of honor, after all,” she says, giving me a hopeful look.

  While she hadn’t asked me, I was hoping she would.

  “Oh, Liv. You know I would be honored,” I say, tears stinging my eyes.

  Food forgotten, we both get up from our seats and embrace in a tight hug. Liv may be my best friend, but she’s so much more. She’s the sister I never realized I wanted.

  “Thank you,” she says when we pull back. “Okay, enough with the sappy shit. You’re turn to spill. Have you heard from your mystery man?”

  I go back to my seat. “Sterling,” I tell her. She looks at me curiously, so I explain. “That’s what I call him now. I have to give him some kind of name.”

  She claps her hands in excitement, making me laugh. “Love it! Now, back to my question. Have you heard from him?”

  She’s practically bouncing in her seat like an excited kid waiting for my answer.

  “I have.”

  I think back to our conversation on Monday. He’s hasn’t called me since then, but we’ve texted a few times. It’s hard to explain what I’m feeling regarding him. While I should feel threatened and exposed with him knowing so much about me, I don’t. What I feel is something I’ve never felt before. It’s unexplainable, but also undeniable. When he called me, I was shocked, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t get a full body shiver. Hearing his voice for the first time made it so much more real. Not only the seriousness of the situation, or the possible ramifications, but also the feelings he stirs in me. Feelings I can’t hide. Hearing his deep, smooth voice with a strong southern drawl just made them stronger. How can someone I know nothing about bring on such emotions and cause my body to light up? I don’t know, and I’m coming to the conclusion that I don’t really care. He makes me feel alive, something I haven’t felt in years.

  When he revealed he got information on my date, Marc, I should have hung up and called the police immediately, but I didn’t. Yes, I was still upset, shocked, and pissed that he would invade my private life like that, but it also turned me on for some odd reason. This man really knows how to turn me stupid. The entire time we talked, I had to fight the urge to bring my fingers between my legs to relieve the pressure.

  “Hello, Earth to Poppy.” Liv snaps her fingers in front of my face, bringing me back to our lunch date.

  Heat creeps up my face, thinking of how my body responded to hearing his voice for the first time.

  “Sorry,” I mutter.

  “Well, well, then. Obviously, something’s happened while I was gone. Do tell.” Liv looks at me with a knowing smirk, bouncing in her chair in anticipation again.

  Too bad there’s not a lot to tell.

  “Do you remember my date on Saturday?” She nods. “He was a convicted criminal.” Liv gasps, but I talk over her. “He was convicted for sexual assault and battery.” The look on Liv’s face goes from shock to horror, and I continue. “He raped and beat his sister. Sterling found out and sent me a text with the link to Marc’s rap sheet.” When Liv opens her mouth to talk, I finish with, “While I was at dinner with Marc.”

  “What?” Liv practically yells. I nod, letting her know I’m serious.

  “Yeah. Apparently, Sterling knows how to get information when he wants it. I don’t know how, but he found out I was going on a date and started digging. I don’t have the details, something he refused to give me.”

  “Oh my God, Pop. I am so sorry! This is all my fault. I should have never made you open that account. If anything had happened…”

  I reach over and grab Liv’s hand, not liking the look of remorse on her face. This is in no way her fault. She was only trying to help me get over my slump.

  “Liv, please, don’t blame yourself. You didn’t know this would happen. Besides, Sterling was there.”

  “What do you mean he was there? Did you see him?” she asks, the look of guilt lingering, but now there’s apparent interest in her expression.

  “No, but he said he had been watching me the entire time I was with Marc. He said he wouldn’t have let anything happen to me. I know it’s crazy, Liv, but I believe him.”

  “Wow. I don’t even know what to say,” she says, still looking stunned.

  “He called me Monday,” I reveal, moving the conversation along.

  Her eyes grow wide. “How did he sound? Does he have a sexy voice? I bet he does, doesn’t he?”

  I can’t hold my giggle in. “He does. It’s smooth and deep, and so sexy, with a hint of an accent. Damn, Liv. When I first answered and heard his voice, I swear I had a mini orgasm.”

  We both laugh. “What did he say?”

  “We just talked about what happened on Saturday. While he explained a few things, he really didn’t give me much. He did reiterate that I was his, and was willing to do whatever he needed to do to make it so. Said there were some things I didn’t need to know yet.” I roll my eyes, still not too keen on him keeping stuff from me, but I’ll let it go for now. Not for long, though.

  “Has he said when you’ll meet?”

  “No,” I say with a huff. “But he said it’ll be soon.”

  “Damn. I don’t know if I should feel sorry for you or ask what your secret is.”

  I wrinkle my nose.

  “Believe me, you don’t want to be in my shoes right now. I hate not knowing who he is. I hate thinking there’s something wrong with me because I’m not more worried about what all this could mean for me.” I glance down at my phone and notice the time. “Crap, we’ve got to go.”

  I gather our trash and walk it to the bin. Before we walk out the door, Liv pulls me in for another hug.

  “There’s nothing wrong with you, Pop. You can’t help that you feel a connection to this guy. Even if it doesn’t work out, don’t ever think there’s something wrong with you.”

  I look into her eyes, seeing she truly believes what she says. I smile and give her a kiss on the cheek.

  “What would I ever do without you?”

  “You’d completely fall apart and turn into a hermit crab inside your lonely house.”

  I laugh, not because her visions of me without her are ridiculous, but because they are probably true. Liv has been good for me in so many ways. She’s taught me how to stretch my legs and show me it�
��s okay to let go of the past.

  “Thank goodness. I’ll never have to find out if your assessment is true or not.”

  “Hell, no. You’re stuck with me for life, babe,” she says with a wink.

  Later that afternoon, I’m sitting at my desk, sending the last few “ping” emails for the day. When a client signs on with Silver Technologies, they not only get the server protection they pay for, but also a monthly “ping” report. We implement the firewall and put in place the security measures to keep hackers out, but we also put up something that’s sort of like an invisible force field. When hackers try breaking into a client’s server, their signal bounces off the force field and leaves behind an imprint. This imprint has the name, location of the attempted breach, date, time, and IP address of the hacker. We give this information to the client and they do with it as they choose. Some choose to report it, some don’t. That’s completely up to them. But at Silver Technologies, we feel the client has the right to know who is trying to break into their system.

  I shut down my email program once the last of them are sent out and turn off my computer, just as Mr. Knight and Eric walk out of Mr. Knight’s office. Both set of eyes immediately turn to me. Eric gives me a smile and a wink, while Mr. Knight watches with his penetrating green eyes. I have no idea why, but I’ve noticed several times this week he’s had his eyes on me. Just watching, like he’s assessing me or something. Each time I notice, it sends a zing through my body.

  He breaks our stare by looking down at the folder in his hand. My eyes move back to Eric, who is approaching my desk.

  “Hey,” he says softly. I don’t know if he’s trying to be quiet so Mr. Knight doesn’t overhear, or if he’s just talking low because he’s right in front of me.

  Red creeps up my cheeks as his eyes briefly run over me. Not lecherously, just appreciatively.

  “Hey.”

  “Are we still on for today?” he asks, leaning a hip against my desk.

  “Yes. I just finished up with everything.”

  I’m still unsure how I feel about meeting up with Eric for dinner. As much as I like him and the fact he’s been so nice to me, something doesn’t feel right. I’ve made no promises to Sterling, but it feels like some sort of betrayal to him. I never told him about my dinner plans with Eric. I don’t know if I should have. But then again, it’s just a simple dinner. It’s not like Eric and I are now dating. It’s just a couple of coworkers going out after work to relax and enjoy each other’s company, nothing more.

  So why do I get the feeling I should have told him?

  I push the thought away, not ready to examine it further. There’s no way I could cancel on Eric now, not when we’ll be leaving soon. I’ll go, enjoy myself, and politely let him know that it can’t go any further. I just hope it doesn’t interfere with our working relationship.

  I feel a sense of déjà vu, and think about my date with Marc. This is definitely not the same. It’s stupid to even think about my date with him.

  “Great,” Eric says, bringing me back to the present. He leans away from my desk and takes a step back. “You go ahead. Give me about ten minutes and I’ll be right behind you.”

  “Okay. See you soon.”

  When he turns to leave, something catches my eye. I look over and see Mr. Knight watching Eric walk away. The expression on his face is hard, and if I’m not mistaken, it seems malicious. When he looks back at me, the emotion is gone and is replaced by something I’ve never seen from him before. My eyes must be playing tricks on me, because for a minute I swear I see blatant desire written across his face. My heart flutters and my breath hitches at the look. It’s fierce and unconcealed.

  I blink and give my head a little shake. By the time I look back at him, the look is gone.

  What the hell was that?

  Mr. Knight looks at me, emotionless, for a couple more seconds, before saying, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Poppy.”

  “See you tomorrow, Mr. Knight,” I tell him, and watch as he turns on his heel and walks back into his office, closing the door behind him.

  I look at the door for a while longer, still unsure if I saw what I think I did. Mr. Knight has never looked at me in such a way before, and the look he gave Eric as he walked away was one of pure menace. If looks could kill, Eric would be lying lifeless on the floor right now.

  I open the bottom drawer of my desk and grab my purse as Liv walks up.

  “You ready?” she asks.

  “Yep.”

  As we ride the elevator down, we make plans for the weekend to have lunch and go over some wedding details. I can tell she’s jonesing to get on the ball with the planning. Her face lights up as we talk, and I can’t help to be just as excited with her.

  “I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me you had a date with Eric this afternoon,” she complains for the third time today.

  “First, it’s not a date. It’s just two coworkers going out for dinner. And I didn’t tell you because it’s not that big of a deal.”

  Our heels echo off the concrete walls as we walk across the parking garage. I’ve always found the noise creepy, reminding me of the movies where a woman gets chased down and hurt in the dark by a mysterious man. Even now, it sends goosebumps down my arms.

  “Come on, Poppy. You can’t be that naive. The man has the hots for you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” she confirms, coming to a stop at her car.

  “He does not!” I whip around, surprised. Eric has always been nice, but he’s never shown interest like that in me.

  “Oh, Pop.” She shakes her head in sympathy. “You really need to open your eyes more. The man is gaga over you.”

  “Really?” I ask, brows pulled down, thinking back to all the times Eric’s stopped at my desk to talk with me. Could I be so naive to have not noticed his interest? I don’t have much experience with men, but I would have thought I would know interest when it was there.

  She smiles at me and reaches over for a hug before getting in her car. She doesn’t answer my question, just continues to give me her knowing smile. She starts her car and then powers down her window while I stand there, still contemplating her words.

  “Have fun. And let me know what Sterling has to say about your date tomorrow.”

  Before I get a chance to respond, she winks at me and speeds off. I walk to my car, slide inside, and exit the parking garage, driving toward the small Mexican restaurant I’m meeting Eric at, the whole time thinking about him and Sterling. Now that Liv pointed it out to me, I can see why she would say what she did. There’s been signs of Eric’s interest, but I’ve never paid any attention to them, playing it off as him being friendly.

  My mind again wanders to Sterling and the fact that I didn’t tell him. Will he find out? And if he does, will he be angry with me? I reiterate to myself that I don’t owe him anything. However, for some reason, he believes I’m his, and a small, irrational part of me feels the same way. But a bigger part of me won’t allow that to happen until I meet him, to get to know the man he is.

  When the waitress seats me at a small table, I let her know that I’m waiting for someone else to arrive and give her his name. A few minutes later, she brings me a glass of water to hold me over until Eric arrives. Twenty minutes pass and my gaze keeps straying to the front of the restaurant. I glance down at my phone that’s on the table with a worried frown. He said ten minutes, and it’s been well over that. We exchanged phone numbers on Monday, and I would think he would call if he was going to be late.

  The thought no sooner enters my mind when my phone chimes on the table. I pick it up and see Eric’s name displayed across the screen.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Poppy,” comes Eric’s smooth voice. “I’m so sorry, but I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to make it. I must have run over something this morning on my way into work. I’ve got two flat tires, and only one spare. I’m waiting on the tow truck now.”

  “Oh, okay.” I feel both relief and disappoint wi
th the news. “That’s okay. I understand.”

  “I really am sorry,” he says, sincerity plain in his voice.

  “Don’t be. It’s not your fault. I can just grab something on the way home.”

  “No,” he rushes out. “I’ve already called the restaurant and had them set up a tab. Stay and have dinner on me. It’s the least I can do.”

  The thought of eating alone doesn’t really appeal to me. I’ve never been the type to sit in a restaurant by myself to eat or have drinks. I prefer the solitude of my home.

  “You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine—”

  I’m cut off when he says, “Please, stay. I feel bad that I invited you out to dinner and had to cancel. It’ll make me feel better knowing you still had a good meal.”

  I look around the restaurant and only spot a few occupied tables. It’s silly to have this feeling of being looked at sitting at my table, alone, so I push the uncomfortable feeling aside.

  “Okay. Thank you, Eric. I’m so sorry you couldn’t make it.”

  “I am, too. Can I have a rain check?”

  The guilt I feel from the relief of not having dinner with him and the hopeful sound of his voice is the only reason I agree.

  “I’d love to.” I bite my lip at the lie, knowing I’ll come up with an excuse to not go next time.

  “Great. Sit and enjoy your meal. I’ll see you tomorrow, Poppy.”

  I thank him one more time before we hang up. Just as I set my phone on the table, the waitress comes back with a menu in hand.

  “Would you like a menu?” She smiles kindly at me.

  “Yes, please.”

  She leaves, giving me a few minutes to look it over. I scan it, still feeling awkward. I lift my head to look around the room, once again feeling silly when I find no one watching me. I shift in my chair, just as my phone alert goes off. I can’t help but smile when I see it’s from Sterling.

  Sterling: How was your day, Beautiful?

  I love it when he calls me that, because it makes me feel beautiful.

  Me: Uneventful. How was yours?