Bunkers

by Nicholas Antinozzi

  “What about our kids?” asked Tina, who sat at the bar. “They need the internet, how does Crabby expect them to learn?”

  “I think President Crabtree is dead,” said Jumbo, still wearing his hardhat. “Think about it, we haven’t seen him in over a week.”

  “You could be right,” said Glick. “I’ve been thinking the same thing, myself.”

  “Oh my God,” said Anita.

  “President Crabtree isn’t dead,” said Mark. “They have him tucked away in case we have a nuclear exchange. Trust me, if he were dead, we would already know about it.”

  “So Mark,” Tiffany Lystrom said, saucily, “do you think we’re going to have a nuclear war?”

  Mark shrugged. “I’d say it’s a good sign that as of yet, nothing has happened.”

  “Me too,” agreed Tina.

  “That doesn’t mean a thing,” said Jumbo. He knocked back a shot of something clear and crossed his arms. “They’re probably just getting their ducks in a row.”

  “You could be right,” agreed Mark. “But an attack could come in many different forms. There is no reason to make the leap to all-out nuclear war.”

  “Did you see the news conference?” asked Glick.

  Mark nodded. “I just finished listening to the networks give their spin on it. I do not own a computer, but I don’t agree with this suspension. I think it will come back to bite the President.”

  “That’s the understatement of the year,” said Jumbo. “That bastard had better watch his back, if he’s even still alive. You know what they’re doing? They’re getting ready to pull some kind of bullshit on us, the American people. I’m just happy that we’ll all have a place to go when the shit hits the fan.”

  “You can say that again,” said Larry.

  “How much longer will it be?” asked Anita.

  “At least a week,” said Jumbo. “That will give us more time to hit up Costco and Sam’s Club. Like I said, keep brainstorming and making lists. Once we lock that door, no one is getting in or out. Are we clear on that?”

  There was a nodding of heads as worried looks were exchanged. Once again, Mark wondered if he hadn’t created a monster. He tried to imagine how much money the group was spending on their elaborate shelter. To be where they were at, after only a week’s time, was nothing short of miraculous; and those types of miracles were expensive.

  “Do you think they’ll find Bones?” asked Anita.

  “Yeah,” said Jumbo, “what about Bones? I can’t believe he just ran away like that. Personally, I think he’s a rat for doing what he did. Look at all those kids out there; did they pack up and run when they were called to duty? I know that if it had been me who was called up, I would have done my part to serve our country.”

  Mark fought the urge to roll his eyes. He was shocked to hear the group shared Jumbo’s poor opinion of their former friend. He stood there for another ten minutes and quietly excused himself.

  They watched him go, when he was safely out of earshot, Jumbo spoke. “No,” he said. “SleepingBear has his own shelter. We’re not inviting him into ours.”

  “You were down there,” said Anita, “how can you say that?”

  “I’d go crazy if I was down there, all alone,” Tina said, sipping from her bottle of Coors Light. “What if we have to be down there for years?”

  “What if we do?” asked Tiffany. “We’ll have to make the best of it. At least we’ll be safe.”

  “While our neighbor rots away,” said Glick.

  “He has his own supplies and we have plenty of room,” said Larry. “I don’t see what the big deal is. After all, we wouldn’t even have a shelter if Mark hadn’t given us the property to build it on.”

  Jumbo shook his head. “I hear what you’re saying and I don’t want to come across as some heartless bastard, but we don’t even know Mark SleepingBear. He’s a Gulf War vet that just lost his entire family. What if he cracked up while we were down there? Think about it. Our kids will be down there.”

  “I hear ya,” said Larry. “It just feels pretty shitty. He did invite all of us into his shelter.”

  “That doesn’t mean we have to invite him into ours,” said Tiffany. “Besides, it’s not like we’d be leaving him out in the cold.”

  “Enough about this,” said Jumbo, reaching under the bar and pulling out a black duffel bag. He opened it up for everyone to see. “Say hello to the new leader of the Neighborhood Patrol System.”

  “What?” asked Larry, looking dumbfounded.

  “Are you serious?” asked Tina.

  “Oh my God,” said Anita.

  Jumbo laughed and held up his hands. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” he said. “I only signed up to help us all out,” he lifted up the gold badge. “Do you see this? This badge gives me special powers and those powers will come in handy over the next week. We’ve got inspections coming up and I don’t have to remind you that we took plenty of shortcuts. Nothing in that hole is up to code. We didn’t even have a permit to dig. These inspectors could make trouble for us, but I think they’ll think twice about that when they see this badge.”

  “You should see him in his uniform,” said Tiffany. “He looks so cute.”

  “Aren’t you required to patrol the neighborhood?” asked Glick. “I don’t want you peeking into my windows, Jumbo. That’s just creepy.”

  “I’m not going to be peeking into anyone’s windows. Give me a break, buddy. This is all for show. You gotta play the game, dude.”

  “You had better not peek into our windows,” said Tina.

  “Or what?” asked Jumbo. And then he laughed, long and hard.

  Chapter 8

  “He did what?” asked Bones.

  “He’s our new leader of the NPS,” said Mark. “I’m not making that up.”

  Bones and Dottie sat together on the sofa, while Mark sat across from them on a steel folding chair. Once again, the couple wore matching outfits, red t-shirts with the chiropractor’s company logo, over blue jeans. The room was lit by candlelight and through the ventilation system the distant sound of construction machinery could be heard. Three days had passed and the group was gathered to watch the crane sling the manufactured home into the hole. Mark had taken the opportunity to slip over for a visit; his third since the couple had vanished.

  “Have the authorities been back to our house?” asked Dottie.

  Mark shook his head. “Not as far as I know,” he said. “The question is: have you two been back inside your house?”

  Bones and Dottie looked at each other and instantly, Mark knew the truth. “I’m sorry,” said Bones. “We’ve been going stir crazy and Dot was out of her vitamins.”

  “Don’t lie about it,” said Dottie. “I wanted a cheeseburger.”

  Mark sighed. “Look, we’ve talked about this. You can’t go back into your house, not for any reason. If you need something, I’ll have to go get it for you. I’d rather do a day in jail for breaking into your house, than have the two of you locked up for God only knows how long. If you need to get out, take a walk in the refuge, but only do it at night.”

  Bones nodded his head. He looked as if he’d aged twenty years and his voice trembled when he spoke. “We were out last night. Dottie wanted to get a look at the place Jumbo is building. How in the hell can he afford to build such a thing? The guy sells used cars.”

  “I don’t know,” said Mark. “But I’ve been wondering the same thing, myself. I don’t like Jumbo and I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. I’m worried that he’s going to come snooping around. That’s why you two have to be careful. He already said that he doesn’t approve of you dodging the draft.”

  “He did, did he?” asked Dottie.

  “Yes, he did. He said that if it had been him who had been called up, he would have proudly served his country.”

  “He’s such a damn liar,” hissed Bones. “He would have run to Canada so fast that his sneakers would have caught fire. What a piece of crap.”


  “I can’t stand that man,” said Dottie. “You don’t think he’ll come out here to look for us, do you?”

  Mark shook his head. “Not unless you give him a reason to suspect you’re still in the area. That’s why it’s so important that you both keep your heads down. Jumbo has a full plate and from what Glick told me, he only took the badge to frighten the city inspectors.”

  “Glick,” said Bones with a smile. “I miss him. How are he and Anita doing?”

  “They’re doing well. In fact, Anita is pregnant. That’s supposed to be a secret, but I figure I can trust the both of you.”

  Dottie laughed. “Who would we tell? Why on earth would they want to keep it a secret?”

  “She is worried she might have another miscarriage.”

  “Oh,” said Dottie. “So they don’t want to let the cat out of the bag. I get it.”

  “And who is going to deliver that baby?” asked Bones. “Jumbo, Tiffany?”

  “I suppose Tina will have to do it,” said Dottie.

  Bones snorted. “I wouldn’t trust Tina Bell to deliver a puppy. Are you kidding me? Oh my God, are you serious? I love her to death, but sometimes the two of them sound like a broken record. I don’t like the idea of Anita giving birth down there. Can either of you see my point?”

  “I never thought about that,” said Mark. “We don’t know what the future will bring. With any luck, this whole mess will blow over and they’ll never need that shelter.”

  “And what about us?” asked Dottie. “What will happen to us after this is over?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think you have anything to worry about, but you’ll just have to cross that bridge when you get to it.”

  “You haven’t broken any laws,” said Bones. “I’ll take my lumps.”

  They visited for another hour and Mark felt guilty when he left them, just as he always did. The day was overcast and much cooler than it had been the previous day. He walked over to see how the project was going and he was surprised to see that both halves of the eighty foot modular home were in place. The hole was crawling with construction workers. “What do you think?” asked Larry.

  “That’s impressive,” said Mark. “I think I have shelter envy.”

  Larry laughed. “Did you hear about Glick? He was fired this morning.”

  “That’s too bad. I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “I tried to warn him, but he just kept on missing work. I don’t think he’s even gonna be able to collect unemployment. Jobs like that one don’t grow on trees. He made some pretty good money.”

  Mark pointed to the hole. “Does Jumbo know?”

  Larry ran a hand through his unruly tangle of hair and nodded. “Jumbo is mad as hell about it. Glick is into him for almost a hundred grand.”

  Mark whistled. “Did any of you sign any papers?”

  “Are you kidding me? Jumbo is all about signing contracts. He’s got new agreements for us to sign, all the time. It’s getting to the point where I hardly even read them.”

  “Aren’t you worried that he’s trying to cheat you? What if the time comes and he locks you guys out?”

  Larry shook his head. “Never happen. Jumbo knows I’d blow his damned brains out.”

  Mark stared at Larry and could see that he meant that. “Where is Jumbo?” he asked. “I thought he’d be out here.”

  “I don’t know where he took off to. Maybe he went up to grab some lunch. I know he isn’t working today. Why, you need to talk to him?”

  “No, I was just curious.”

  Larry checked his watch. “Speaking of jobs, I better get to mine. If you have a minute, maybe you could drop in on Glick. He’s taking it pretty hard.”

  “I’ll do that.”

  Larry nodded and began to follow the road out of the woods. Mark watched the construction for another minute and then he followed Larry. He found Glick standing on his front porch, drinking a beer. “Hi Mark,” he said. “I guess you heard the news, huh?”

  Mark nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “Yeah, bad news sure travels fast. I’m not worried about it. I’ll find something else. That was kind of a crummy place to work, anyhow.”

  “I thought you liked your job?”

  “I thought I did, too. Sometimes you have to step away to see how things really are. I was the best salesman they had. Shit, I was twice as good as anyone in the office. Who told you that I got canned?”

  “I was talking to Larry.”

  “Yeah, good old Larry, stab you in the back, Larry. Did he tell you that I was let go for missing work? That’s bullshit. I was let go because I was too good at my job. I was paid commission and my checks and bonuses were twice what anyone else was paid. All the station did was divvy my customers up among the slugs, which saved them a ton of dough. That’s how sales works. It’s cutthroat as hell. And Jumbo, don’t get me going about that guy. That son of a bitch had the nerve to tell me that if I don’t pony up, he’s cutting us out of the shelter. Can you believe that guy?”

  Mark shook his head. “That doesn’t seem fair.”

  Glick pointed up to the house. “Anita is in there with Tina, crying her eyes out. What am I supposed to tell her?”

  “You tell her that my offer still stands.”

  Glick stepped back and sipped his beer. “Are you serious?”

  Mark laughed, remembering what Bones had said earlier. “I’m totally serious. You guys are way over your heads on that thing. The odds of ever needing a bunker are so slim. You shouldn’t be putting your family into debt in the off chance that you’ll actually need one; especially not with my shelter being next door and open to you.”

  “I don’t know, Mark. We’ve got four kids and just between us, Anita has a bun in the oven. You had better think about that.”

  “I have already thought of it. My offer is still on the table. Congratulations on your baby.”

  “Thanks man. We’re praying for a boy. I told Anita that this is it, if we don’t have a boy this time we’re all done having kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love my girls.”

  Mark felt his heart ache, but he managed a smile. “I know you do. Look, I have a little money tucked away. Are you and Anita, okay?”

  Glick put on his bravest, most confident face, squared his chin and nodded. “We’re great,” he said. Everything is just great. This could be the best thing to ever happen to me, professionally speaking. You get comfortable doing something and you quit growing. I was just going through the motions. Looking back, I wasn’t happy there at all. No, Anita and I are okay and I really appreciate the offer,” he pointed at the Bell and Lystrom houses. “That’s more than they did.”

  Mark understood what Glick was saying, not that he bought into it. If there had ever been a worse time in recent memory to lose your job, Mark couldn’t think of it. They talked for another ten minutes. When the false bravado became too much to him, Mark made an excuse and slipped home.

  Mark poured himself a bowl of cold cereal and sat down in front of the television. As usual, he caught himself holding his breath as he turned on the cable news. Thankfully, there seemed to be few new developments. The internet would go down for private citizens on midnight, Friday. The country was in an uproar over that. There had been mass demonstrations on college campuses, as well as in some of the major cities. As if this news weren’t bad enough, the analysts had now casually tossed inflation into the mix. Over the past ten days, the price of oil had risen fifty dollars a barrel. Foodstuffs and other dry goods had also seen a spike in prices. And while there were no reported shortages, manufacturers and distributors were having trouble keeping up with demand. It seemed that fear was big business and everyone was cashing in.

  In other news, the United States was now pointing to some previously unknown terror group as being responsible for the missile attacks. Mark nearly choked on his Cheerios when he heard that. He was sickened to see the news anchor report on this with a straight face. Sadly, not a single analyst even questioned the
official explanation of the attack. They delivered the lie as if it had been the Gospel truth. To think a terrorist group was capable of such an attack was nothing short of preposterous. Mark dropped his spoon into the bowl and sat back. He felt as if he had just taken a terrible glimpse into the future. With the internet being unplugged, the government would soon control the information. They would also control disinformation, which is what they would feed the news outlets. Controlling what people thought they knew, was true and absolute power.

  Mark shut off the TV and sat in the silence. He felt the need to do something, but he could not put his finger on it. He stared at his old telephone, still clinging to the twentieth century by the curly cord that connected the handset to the base. How long would it be before the government cut that line of communication? At the rate things were going, Mark doubted it would take long. The idea hit him with enough force to propel him out the door. He knew precious little about ham radios, but he knew he wasn’t going to return home without buying the best model he could lay his hands on. What he didn’t know, he could learn from a book.

  Chapter 9

  Mark’s first stop was at Barnes and Noble. After buying a couple books on ham radios, he got to thinking about other things he might like to know about. He suddenly understood that despite all of his preparations, he was dreadfully unprepared. Starting with a thick DIY manual, Mark began buying up reference material. He stacked the books on a counter until he feared they might fall over. The sales associate at the register gave him a knowing grin. She was a tall and thin, dark-skinned woman, who Mark guessed to be close to seventy years old. She handled each book as if it were a newborn baby. “Come Saturday, these will be sold out,” she said.

  “I’m sure you’re right,” agreed Mark, reading the woman’s nametag, “June,” he added.

  June’s smile brightened. “I have several of these books,” she held up a paperback. “This one is very informative.”

  Mark looked over his shoulder and returned his attention to June. “You must be doing a little prepping,” he whispered.