Bunkers

by Nicholas Antinozzi

  Tiffany smiled as she stepped inside. She gave Mark an appraising look and licked her lips. “You better get some clothes on, mister,” she said, “because I’m a morning person.”

  Mark laughed at that and he jogged up the stairs. A minute later, he returned, fully dressed. “What’s on your mind?” he asked, going back to his coffee pot.

  “Mitch and Clyde are gone. They weren’t happy about it, but Jumbo threatened to call the police if they didn’t leave. If either one of them gets so much as a speeding ticket, it’s back to the big house.”

  “That’s good news. So, I’m guessing that Jumbo is ready to come home?”

  “He’s going crazy in there. There is a bondsman right across the street from the jail; they’re open twenty-four hours a day. I know it’s early, but would you mind running down there with me?”

  Mark shrugged his shoulders. “I suppose,” he grumbled. “Let me get a cup of coffee down and brush my teeth. Give me fifteen minutes.”

  “I don’t know how to thank you for this, but I know how I’d like to thank you.”

  “Stop it, you’re a married woman.”

  Tiffany laughed and sat down at the table. “I see you have a visitor.”

  “Yep, he’s a friend that needed a little help. He works on radios and things like that. I got him set up in the Quonset hut. He’s a little offbeat, but he’s a nice guy.”

  “Does he have a name?”

  “He goes by Gadget, but his real name is Myron Howard.”

  “Get out of town. Myron Howard?”

  “That’s his name. I’m not making it up.”

  “I went to high school with a Myron Howard. I wonder if it’s the same guy?”

  Mark smiled as he poured two mugs of steaming coffee. “I wouldn’t doubt it, not with a name like that.”

  “He was really sweet, kind of shy. He was already losing his hair.”

  Mark set Tiffany’s coffee down in front of her and she gently touched his hand. “Well, Gadget is as bald as a baby,” he said, pulling his hand away, hating the thrill the touch had caused him to feel. “Look, I’m flattered that you find me attractive, but it isn’t going to happen, not ever.”

  “You’re a good man, Mark. Most men would have caved in by now, but not you. I respect that. I know it isn’t going to happen, I’m just playing around.”

  “You have to stop it. You’re a very attractive woman and saying no to you doesn’t come natural. I’m still married, at least in my mind.”

  “Thank you for the compliment. I was starting to think you thought I was ugly. Okay, I promise to turn it down a notch. I can’t shut it off, I’m sorry, it’s just who I am.”

  Mark finished his coffee and he excused himself to brush his teeth. Five minutes later, they were in Tiffany’s Cadillac, flying down the gravel road. Two monotonous hours after they arrived, Jumbo walked out of the jail. Tearfully, he hugged Tiffany. He then did the same to Mark, which made him uncomfortable. “You the man,” he sobbed, slapping Mark on the back with both hands.

  “I’m happy to help,” said Mark.

  Jumbo pulled away and wiped the back of his hands across his cheeks. “Let’s get out of here,” he said, “before they change their mind.”

  Mark got in the backseat and Jumbo got behind the wheel. Tiffany climbed in next to Jumbo and she scooted over, as if they were high school sweethearts. “You don’t have to sit back there,” she said, turning to face Mark. “We have plenty of room up here.”

  Mark shook his head. “I’m good back here. This is a nice car.”

  “Don’t get used to it,” said Jumbo, shifting into drive and pulling away from the curb. “We’re going to have to sell it to afford the retainer.”

  “You’re not selling my car,” said Tiffany. “Sell your damned truck.”

  “The truck is gone, baby. The car lot is gone. I need a good lawyer, or you and the kids will be living on the street.”

  “But I love my car.”

  “I know you do, honey. I promise to buy you a new one, just as soon as I can swing it.”

  Mark stared out the window at the empty downtown sidewalk, where joggers passed the street people in the early morning light. He listened as Jumbo and Tiffany discussed the charges against him. From what Mark could gather, Jumbo was in a lot of trouble. He was looking at several felonies and dozens of misdemeanors. A disgruntled mechanic had turned him in, and an elaborate sting had been conducted. They had Jumbo nailed to the wall and the only cards he held were the names of the others involved in the operation. Jumbo had yet to talk, but he would talk after he retained an attorney. “You tell them everything they want to know,” said Tiffany, stroking Jumbo’s cheek as he drove on the freeway.

  “Damn right,” said Jumbo. “Better them than me.”

  “That’s right, baby.”

  Mark wondered about the people Jumbo planned to take down to save his own skin. How would they react? He wondered if Jumbo had another gun; he might need it before this was finished.

  Jumbo pulled into Mark’s driveway and both he and Tiffany got out of the car, and each gave him another awkward hug. “Oh my God,” said Tiffany, in a loud voice. “Myron?”

  Gadget squinted his eyes. “Tiffany Jorgenson?”

  “Yes!” cried Tiffany. She ran to Gadget and wrapped her arms around him. “I haven’t seen you since high school. You look great! How have you been?”

  “Who the hell is that?” asked Jumbo.

  “That’s Myron Howard,” said Mark. “He likes to be called Gadget. He’s down on his luck and is staying with me. He’s a good man.”

  “Tiff sure seems to like him.”

  “He lost a leg in the war. He works on ham radios and things like that. We fixed him up a shop in the Quonset hut.”

  “Ham radios, huh? I want one of those in my shelter. I’ll have to figure things out and have him set me up.”

  “He really knows his stuff.”

  Jumbo nodded, but he looked uncomfortable as Tiffany and Gadget wandered in the direction of the workshop. “I’ll be home in a little while,” shouted Tiffany.

  “What the hell just happened?” asked Jumbo. “I was hoping to go home and knock off a piece.”

  Mark lost his smile and he turned to go into his house. He had no respect for men that spoke so freely about such private matters. He left Jumbo standing next to the car. A moment later, Mark heard gravel flying as Jumbo drove home.

  Well over an hour later, Gadget walked into the house. Mark watched as he practically floated inside. He wore a big grin on his face and he went to the kitchen window to watch Tiffany walk home. “Small world, huh?” he said.

  “Yeah,” said Mark. “It sure is. Gadget, not that it’s any of my business, but nothing happened out there, did it?”

  Gadget’s eyes grew large with indignation. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Tiffany is a lady, Mark. She’s a lady and she’s married.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that.”

  Gadget nodded his head and stuck his hands in his front pockets. “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to come off like that. I’ve had a crush on Tiffany since we were in high school. This is like a dream come true. She’s so nice, isn’t she?”

  “She sure is,” said Mark, wondering how long it would take before Gadget’s bubble would burst. He decided then that he would go talk to the neighbors. He would warn them against spoiling his illusion. That was the least he could do. “I’ve got something I want to show you,” Mark said. “Do you have a couple of minutes?”

  Gadget shrugged and Mark led him out the back door, across the field and out into the woods. He stopped walking when they got to the brush pile that concealed the trapdoor into his shelter. “This is some woods,” said Gadget, looking around, appreciatively. “Yep, it sure is nice out here.”

  Mark smiled. He then reached down with both hands and slid the hidden plywood off to one side, revealing the first door to his shelter. Now it was Gadget’s turn to smile. Mark unloc
ked the door. “My grandfather built this place during the Cold War,” he said, tapping the first touch-lamp and leading Gadget down the concrete stairs. “When things started to get ugly, I decided it was time to clean the place up.”

  “This is so cool,” said Gadget, “I’ve always wanted a bug-out shelter.”

  Mark paused at the bottom of the stairs to fish out his keys. He then unlocked the door and stepped inside, tapping more of the round lamps as he walked deeper into the bunker. “I’ve got a set of keys for you up at the house,” he said, “just in case I’m not home when the shit hits the fan.”

  Gadget looked as if he had died and went to heaven. He walked from room to room, complimenting Mark as they went along. He stopped at the supply room and pointed to an unutilized corner. “That’s where we’ll set up the Yaesu,” he said. “We’ll want it away from the main living quarters.”

  “Why would we want to do that?”

  “Because, Mark, we might hear things from the outside that we won’t want to share with others. Do you know what I mean? Things might get really bad.”

  “The others?” asked Mark. “What others do you mean?”

  “Well, for starters, Tiffany and her family. You wouldn’t leave them out in the cold, would you?”

  Mark laughed. “As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t. But they have their own shelter. I gave them the land to build it on. You should see it; it makes this place look like a dump.”

  “I should have figured that Tiffany would have her own shelter. She was always one of the smartest girls in school.”

  “I’ll bet she was,” said Mark, thinking he had better keep his friend on the topic at hand. “So, we’ll put the radio right here. How long will it take us to put up the antenna?”

  Gadget’s eyes seemed to have lost their focus and his mouth had curled into a strange smile. He remained like that for a long moment, and then he seemed to snap out of it. “Huh?” he asked.

  “The antenna, how long will it take us to build it?”

  “Oh, the antenna; not long, we could do it in an afternoon. Does Tiffany have a radio?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “I’ll fix that. You can’t have one of these without access to communication. That’s the first thing they’ll take away from us when things go south. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Yeah,” said Mark, “that’s why I came to you, remember?”

  “Oh, I forgot about that. Well, we should be getting back, don’t you think? I want to take a shower and change into some clean clothes.”

  Mark nodded his head and began turning out the lights. He could clearly see what Gadget had his mind on, and it wasn’t his work. After locking up and repositioning the brush pile, Mark pointed across the woods. “The other shelter is about two hundred yards in that direction,” he said.

  “Do you own all of these woods?”

  “I own back to the fence.”

  “And you’ve lived here all of your life?”

  “I did, except for my years in the service.”

  “I’ll bet it was great growing up out here. I was raised in the city, but I never really cared for it; too many people. I always wanted to buy a chunk of land, somewhere. This is pretty much how I imagined it. You’re living my dream, man.”

  Mark liked hearing that. He had always been proud of his family homestead. Even as the grand new houses sprouted up around him, Mark remained partial to his farmhouse and his beloved woods that surrounded it. He led Gadget back up to the house and he wasn’t surprised to see the bald man head straight for the bathroom. Mark decided to use this opportunity to ask his neighbors not to spoil Gadget’s over-inflated opinion of Tiffany.

  He found Larry and Tina inside Glick’s garage. They exchanged greetings, but the air seemed a bit frosty. Anita met him at the door. “Who is that over at your place?” she asked.

  “That’s a friend of mine, his name is Myron Howard. He prefers to be called Gadget. He works on radios and things like that,” Mark had told Tina all of this the night before, and he knew she would have already shared this news with the others. To him, it seemed strange that Anita would even ask about his guest.

  “What the hell did you do, this morning?” asked Larry.

  “Larry,” Tina said, angrily. “Don’t take that tone with him.”

  Larry ignored his wife and narrowed his eyes. “You posted bail for Jumbo, didn’t you?”

  Mark returned Larry’s Eastwood glare. “That’s my business,” he said.

  “How could you do that?” asked Glick. He walked over to stand behind his brother in-law. “The guy’s a crook.”

  “For your information,” said Mark, “I put up his bail money on the condition he boots out those no-good cousins of his. Yesterday, while I was away, someone was inside my house. I don’t suppose it was any of you, was it?”

  “Give me a break,” said Larry. “We wouldn’t go into your house.”

  “And I know that. Can you see why I wanted those guys out of our neighborhood?”

  Larry shook his head. “Haven’t you been paying attention to what’s going on in the world?”

  Mark crossed his arms and thought about that. He hadn’t watched television or listened to the radio, not today. He shook his head, hating that they had put him on the defensive. “What’s going on?” he asked.

  “What’s going on?” Larry mimicked, sarcastically. “I’ll tell you what’s going on: “Crabtree wrote up another Executive Order. The United States of America now includes Canada and Mexico. No, that’s not even right. We’re now the North American Union.”

  “Get the hell out of here.”

  “Oh my God,” said Anita. “He’s not kidding, Mark.”

  “You should really pay closer attention to the news,” said Glick.

  “I was busy. When did this happen?”

  Glick gave a humorless laugh. “A couple hours ago, people are rioting on the East Coast.”

  “And you just had to bail Jumbo out of jail, didn’t you?” asked Larry.

  “Knock it off, Larry,” scolded Tina.

  Mark had heard enough. There were several things that he desperately wanted to say to Larry, but out of respect for Tina, he turned and walked away. He stormed out of the garage and back toward his own home. Tina caught up with him at his driveway. “Hold on,” she said. “Mark, I need to talk to you.”

  Mark stopped and twisted around to face her. “What is there to talk about?” he asked. “It’s pretty obvious what’s going on.”

  “I’m divorcing Larry.”

  Mark felt his mouth grow slack. He took a deep breath as he regained his senses. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said. “Are you sure that this is what you want to do?”

  Tina’s eyes welled up with tears and she nodded her head. “He’s been treating me like crap, ever since I caught him with Tiffany. You’d think I did something wrong. I can’t take it, anymore. We had it out, this morning. Do you know what he told me? He said that he hasn’t loved me for years. He said that the only reason he stays with me is because of the kids.”

  “Oh shit,” whispered Mark. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Oh, it gets better. Larry and Glick want to take the shelter for themselves. That’s why they were so pissed off about you bailing Jumbo out of jail.”

  “I figured that much.”

  “I’m not spending another night with Larry.”

  “Where will you go?”

  “I’m moving in with Anita. I’ll be close to my kids and I won’t have to sleep with him, not that he’d touch me. He hasn’t made love to me in almost a year.”

  Mark could see Larry watching them from outside of Glick’s garage. He suddenly realized that he didn’t know the man; more importantly, he realized that he didn’t want to know him any better than he already did. “You told him that you’re moving out?”

  “More like, he told me.”

  “He’s a real piece of work, isn’t he?”

  Tina wiped the tears from
her eyes and turned to face Larry, who still stood by the garage. She lifted her arm up to him and stuck up her middle finger. She then laughed, bitterly, as Larry walked back into the garage. “Mark, the way they’re talking, the lid is going to blow off this thing. They’re getting ready to move down into the bunker. I won’t go with them.”

  Mark closed his eyes. He knew what the next question would be.

  “If things go bad, can I come and stay with you?”

  Chapter 17

  Back inside the house, Mark replayed the conversation over and over and over, inside his head. He had been backed into a corner, a corner without any possible escape route. Despite numerous reservations, he had told Tina that she was more than welcome to join him inside the bunker. He could almost feel Josie rolling over in her grave. In his mind, he tried to reason with her spirit, knowing that she did not understand and feeling her disappointment.

  Gadget trundled down the stairs, dressed in what Mark assumed were his best clothes. The outfit was clean, rumpled, and made him look as if he had just time traveled from 1985. “What do you think?” he asked.

  Mark reached for his wallet. “I think you better head down to Northtown and buy yourself some new clothes.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I was just over visiting the neighbors. They said that President Crabtree just signed an Executive Order to unite us with Canada and Mexico. Supposedly, we’re now called the North American Union.”

  “Holy shit, are you kidding me?”

  “I wish I was.”

  “I can’t go anywhere, people must be going nuts.”

  Mark shook his head. “Can you drive my truck?”

  “What, are you worried that a one-legged man can’t drive? I can still drive and I even have a driver’s license. What do you think of that?”