The Girl's Guide to Falling in Love

by Sophie Hart

  The two women hugged, their easy intimacy giving away the fact that they were sisters, despite the fact they were very different in terms of looks. At five foot nine, Annie was tall and slim, with a sporty figure that meant she very rarely gained weight, no matter what she ate. Holly, however, was a head shorter, with soft curves and full breasts that Annie had always envied. Annie’s neat brown bob was in sharp contrast to her sister’s bouncy blonde curls, and Holly had always had the more outgoing personality of the two; lively and vivacious in contrast to Annie’s shy and studious nature.

  ‘I got you a G&T. I thought you’d probably need it,’ Holly beamed.

  ‘You’re right. Mmm, delicious,’ Annie sighed in satisfaction, as she took a sip of the crisp, sharp liquid.

  ‘So how’s everything at work?’ Holly asked, as she settled herself into the comfy seat. ‘I’m surprised you managed to get away so soon.’

  ‘My last appointment was at six, so it’s a fairly early one for me,’ Annie agreed. ‘But everything’s going well. I had a new client today – a guy who’s nearly sixty, and concerned that he and his wife aren’t being intimate any more.’

  ‘Bloody hell, I hope I’m still having sex when I’m sixty,’ Holly burst out, with a giggle. ‘Maybe that would make a good article – “Sex Lives of the Over Sixties”,’ she suggested, moving her hands in the air in front of her to indicate the headline splash.

  ‘A little bit racy for Norfolk Living, isn’t it?’ Annie teased, referring to the local magazine that her sister wrote for. Its usual content was more church fêtes and wedding fairs than saucy columns about spicing up your sex life.

  ‘True,’ Holly conceded. ‘It’s hardly Cosmo. I’ve actually been out on a story this afternoon – I had to rush to get here, as the traffic was murder coming past the airport. I was up near Aylsham interviewing a dairy farmer who’s convinced that his cows are the most photogenic in the county. He’s actually had a calendar made! You get fifteen percent off if you order a copy through Norfolk Living.’

  ‘Tempting,’ Annie grinned, taking another swallow of her drink.

  ‘You should go for it. Between you and me,’ Holly lowered her voice conspiratorially, ‘Myrtle the cover girl is an absolute stunner!’

  The two sisters burst into giggles, and Annie found herself thinking how she needed to do this more often. Work wasn’t everything – she should make sure she finished early a couple of nights a week and go for a drink with Holly, or some of her friends. Or even, heaven forbid, out on a date…

  ‘So how’s Greg?’ Annie said, asking after her sister’s husband.

  ‘He’s good. He’s got a new obsession with vintage cars at the moment. You know his dad’s got that old Triumph rusting in the garage? Well, they’ve decided to do it up,’ Holly explained, shaking her head to indicate exactly what she thought of the idea. ‘It’s a father-son bonding exercise, I think. Anyway, they’ve spent every weekend tinkering with the engine, or whatever it is they do, and visiting all these scrap yards and classic car places to try and source the original parts. But it’s keeping Greg entertained, so I guess that’s a good thing.’

  Annie nodded, knowing what was coming next and hoping to avoid it. But Holly wasn’t going to let her off the hook that easily.

  ‘What about you?’ Holly asked slyly. ‘Any secret love interest that you’re dying to tell me about?’

  Annie rolled her eyes. ‘No. Nothing happening on that front.’

  ‘I really wish you’d let me sign you up for Mysinglefriend.com. I could write you an amazing profile! Or maybe you should go on Match.com – that’s how Martin and Anya met. They’ve been together for three years now, with a baby due in April.’

  ‘That’s not really my sort of thing, Hol.’ Annie was squirming uncomfortably.

  ‘Come on, sis, you’ve got to put yourself out there, otherwise you’re never going to find anyone.’

  ‘I don’t know if I want to find anyone! I’m quite happy as I am, thank you very much.’

  ‘Annie, you’ve basically been single since Mark. You can’t let one bad experience ruin the rest of your life. Besides, that was years ago – you need to move on.’

  ‘I have moved on,’ Annie insisted. ‘It’s just… oh, I don’t know,’ she finished lamely, the mention of her ex’s name dredging up all sorts of conflicting emotions.

  She’d met Mark when she was at university, studying psychology. He was older than she was, working towards his master’s degree, and the attraction was instant. Annie fell fast and hard – the chemistry between them was electric, and physically they couldn’t get enough of each other.

  Mark proposed on her twenty-first birthday, and Annie ecstatically accepted. Her parents, however, were less ecstatic, both fearing (correctly) that she was far too young and everything was happening too fast. But Annie didn’t want to listen, wrapped up in her whirlwind romance. She’d watched enough films to know that this was what love was supposed to be like: passionate, dramatic and all-encompassing.

  Annie had been utterly dazzled by Mark, by his charm, his intelligence and his good looks, so when he suggested that they get married in secret, Annie immediately agreed. Standing at the front of the registry office, with a couple of strangers they’d pulled off the street as witnesses, Annie felt that she was living out her own movie-style love affair. They were like Romeo and Juliet, or Heathcliff and Cathy – young, in love, and misunderstood by everyone around them.

  Encouraged by Mark, Annie dropped out of uni just before her final exams, abandoning her career aspirations to play the role of devoted wife instead. Within a few months, she realised that she’d made a huge mistake. After all the hormones and lust had evaporated, she and Mark had little in common and, on their one-year anniversary, Annie asked for a divorce.

  She had been twenty-three when the decree absolute was granted, and Annie felt foolish and ashamed of the whole experience, embarrassed by her naivety, and wondering how she’d been so blind to what everyone else could clearly see. It made her seriously question her own judgement, realising that she’d been more concerned with finding her Hollywood-style epic romance than making sure she’d picked the right man to spend the rest of her life with.

  In the wake of the divorce, Annie re-enrolled at university, throwing herself into her studies, before finally setting up her own therapy practice. She’d dated tentatively over the years, but there’d been nothing serious, and she was terrified of making another big mistake.

  ‘Listen,’ Holly began gently, seeing Annie lost in her memories. ‘There’s this new guy that’s started work with Greg. He’s called Tom, and he’s single, and Greg’s told him about you…’

  ‘Holly,’ Annie sighed. ‘I really don’t know if—’

  ‘Where’s the harm?’ Holly cut her off. ‘Just go for one date. If you don’t like him, you never have to see him again. If you do like him… badda bing, badda boom!’

  Annie couldn’t help laughing at her sister’s enthusiasm. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘I don’t know really,’ Holly giggled. ‘But it’s definitely a good thing. So what do you say? Hang on, let me find him on Facebook. He’s friends with Greg, so I should be able to…’ She scrolled through her phone, a look of intense concentration on her face. ‘There,’ Holly finished triumphantly. ‘Not bad-looking, is he?’

  Annie took the phone from her sister and scrutinised the photograph. The guy in the picture had dark hair and a square jaw line, and he was grinning at the camera, his dark eyes sparkling. Annie was pleasantly surprised. ‘He looks okay, actually. What’s the catch?’

  ‘Maybe there isn’t one. Maybe he just hasn’t met the right woman yet.’

  ‘Or maybe he’s a mummy’s boy who still wets the bed, and calls all women “princess”,’ Annie suggested dryly. ‘Oh, no, he can’t be, because I’ve already been out with him – Trevor from King’s Lynn, remember? And he had that medical issue with the overactive sweat glands.’ Annie shuddered at the memory.<
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  ‘So what do you say?’ Holly pressed, ignoring Annie’s outburst. ‘Can I tell Greg to pass on your number?’

  Annie took a deep breath and closed her eyes, unable to shake the feeling that, once again, Holly had managed to wear her down and get her to agree to something she didn’t want to do.

  ‘Okay then, you win,’ she shrugged, as Holly let out a cheer. ‘You can give him my details. Just don’t get your hopes up.’

  ‘We’ll see. You’ll be thanking me at the wedding,’ Holly winked.

  4

  Chapter Four

  ‘Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place’ – Billy Crystal

  ‘I still don’t know what we’re doing here,’ Julia muttered irritably, her eyes darting around the small waiting room.

  Nick sighed. ‘We’ve been over this, Julia. You agreed to come. For my sake.’

  ‘Well, I think it’s bloody ridiculous. We’d be better off going to a real doctor to find out if there are any problems,’ Julia continued, with a pointed look at Nick’s crotch, ‘than some quack who’s going to talk to us about our feelings and probably never—’

  The door swung open and Julia quickly stopped talking as Annie strode towards them, her arm outstretched.

  ‘You must be Nick and Julia,’ she smiled, as they all shook hands. ‘Please, come through.’

  They followed her through into the office, noting the degree certificates, the neat pile of papers on the desk and the open laptop.

  ‘Do take a seat. Can I get either of you a drink?’

  ‘We’re fine, thank you,’ Julia cut in quickly. She didn’t intend to stay for long, so saw little point in making herself at home.

  ‘No problem. So, Nick, you spoke to me a little on the phone about your reasons for coming here,’ Annie began, noting the way that Julia’s gaze darted suspiciously to her husband. ‘Julia, why don’t you start, and tell me how you view the situation.’

  ‘There isn’t a situation,’ Julia replied, sounding frustrated. ‘I don’t even know why Nick wanted to come here in the first place. We’ve been trying for a baby for almost a year now, and I haven’t got pregnant yet,’ she continued, carefully avoiding Nick’s gaze as she spoke. ‘The way I see it is that we just keep trying until it happens. And if it doesn’t, then we’ll go to see a proper doctor.’

  Annie nodded, deciding not to acknowledge Julia’s insult. She could see that this woman was hurting badly, that she was angry and lashing out. Annie knew it was nothing personal.

  ‘If you do think that there’s a medical problem, then I would definitely advise you to go and speak to your GP. Obviously that’s not what I’m here for. My role is to help you identify, and hopefully overcome, any issues affecting your sex life.’

  ‘We don’t have any issues,’ Julia responded defensively. ‘If you must know, we have sex almost every day, so I don’t really understand what this whole thing is about.’

  ‘Okay,’ Annie said thoughtfully. This was clearly going to be a tough case, but it wasn’t the first time she’d dealt with a tricky couple – clients were often in denial at first, and didn’t make significant breakthroughs until a few weeks down the line. ‘Nick, you obviously did feel there was a reason to come and see me. Can you explain what that was?’

  Nick turned to Julia; she was glaring at him, her expression furious, and he wondered how best to proceed. ‘I feel…’ Nick began, pausing as he tried to think of the right words. ‘I feel as though you don’t care about me any more. It’s like you’re obsessed with having a baby, and that’s all that matters to you.’

  Julia rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, grow up, Nick. The world doesn’t revolve around you. If this is what you’re like now, how are you going to feel when we actually do have a baby, and I’m run off my feet looking after it?’

  ‘That’s not what I meant!’ Nick looked stung. He glanced over at Annie who nodded, encouraging him to go on. ‘I’m not some child who’s desperate for your attention, so don’t treat me like that. All I want is for us to have a normal relationship, like we used to. But look at us – we barely talk these days. Yes, we have a lot of sex, but there’s no connection there. I feel like if you could reproduce on your own, then you would, but unfortunately you need me there too.’

  ‘Don’t be so ridiculous,’ Julia snapped. She was clearly livid, and the tension hung heavily in the air.

  ‘Julia,’ Annie pressed gently. ‘How would you describe your sex life?’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with our sex life! It’s good. It’s certainly very regular.’ Julia turned triumphantly to Nick. ‘I have friends who sleep with their husbands once a week, once a fortnight – sometimes even once a month. You get it practically every day, and you’re still complaining.’

  ‘It’s not about how often,’ Nick protested. ‘I’d be happy with once a week if it seemed like you actually wanted to be there. We don’t even bother with foreplay any more – you just want to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible.’

  Julia let out a slightly manic, high-pitched laugh. ‘Have you ever heard a man complain about that before?’ she demanded, turning to Annie. ‘Too much sex and not enough foreplay? What a joke.’

  ‘There’s no right and wrong with what either of you want, and you need to remember that,’ Annie told them firmly. ‘But it’s about finding a happy medium that suits the both of you. It’s about compromise, and listening to the other person.’

  Neither of them spoke, and Annie continued, ‘I think the way forward is to take the focus off getting pregnant for a while – just for a few weeks or so – and back onto the two of you. Onto reconnecting, and rediscovering the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Julia, what made you fall for Nick?’

  Julia’s expression softened for the first time, her eyes brightening. ‘He was so handsome, and so funny too. He really made me laugh.’

  ‘Great,’ Annie smiled, pleased with her response. ‘Nick, what about Julia?’

  ‘She was – is – absolutely gorgeous. I fancied her so much. And then when I spoke to her, she was so feisty and opinionated. She was definitely a challenge, but in a good way.’

  ‘Julia, you said that one of the things that drew you to Nick was that he made you laugh. That’s wonderful, and a shared sense of humour can be hugely important in a relationship. When would you say is the last time the two of you had a really good laugh together?’

  Julia frowned, momentarily looking confused. ‘He… I can’t remember exactly. I mean, we’ve both been very busy – we both work long hours and… That’s a stupid question! Why would I remember something like that? It’s like asking whether or not I brushed my teeth this morning. It just sort of… happens.’

  But Nick was shaking his head. ‘No, it doesn’t just happen. Not these days, anyway. Let’s face it, we’re both bloody miserable. I can’t seem to make you happy like I used to. And that’s why I wanted to come here, to these sessions.’

  Julia said nothing. There was another long, uncomfortable pause, before Annie eventually broke the silence.

  ‘I appreciate both of you being so honest with me, and I think we’ve made a very positive start. What I’m going to suggest that you do – and this may sound a little odd, but give me a chance to explain. I want you not to have sex for the next week.’

  Julia’s head snapped up in alarm. ‘What? But I’m at my most fertile on Friday! If we miss this window, I’ve blown my best chance of getting pregnant for a month. No, I’m not doing it. Absolutely not.’

  ‘The reason I’ve suggested this,’ Annie continued, in measured, soothing tones, ‘is that I genuinely think it would help the two of you to strengthen your relationship. It would be one week without the pressure of trying to conceive, and during that time you can really focus on each other. I’m not saying don’t go near each other. In fact, the whole point is to do everything but have intercourse. You can treat each other to a nice massage, spend time exploring each other’s bodies, even enjoy oral sex.
Just find other ways to pleasure each other.’

  Julia’s lips were pursed into a tight line, her whole body language indicating that she didn’t have the slightest intention of going along with Annie’s suggestion.

  ‘Do you remember how exciting it was to kiss when you were a teenager?’ Annie tried again. ‘The joy of lying for hours on the sofa, having a good old snog, knowing that things were unlikely to go any further than that? Well, why not recreate that? Go to the cinema, sit in the back row, and miss half of the film.’

  ‘We’re not teenagers,’ Julia protested, rolling her eyes. ‘We’re grown adults, and I want to have sex!’

  ‘I think Annie might have a point,’ Nick spoke up. ‘A sex-free week might be just what we need. We can go for dinner somewhere really nice – maybe even go away for the weekend. I can run you a nice bubble bath and—’

  ‘A nice bubble bath isn’t going to help me conceive, is it Nick?’ Julia snapped. ‘How am I going to have a baby if we don’t have sex, hmm? It’s basic biology! The stork isn’t going to leave one under a gooseberry bush for us to find, is it?’

  ‘Julia, I don’t want you to think about getting pregnant, just for seven days.’ Annie’s voice was calm, yet firm, as she tried to explain, but Julia wouldn’t listen.

  ‘No!’ she exclaimed, jumping to her feet. ‘I don’t want to do this. I don’t know why we came, and I want to leave. Now!’

  ‘Jules, please.’ Nick tried to grab his wife’s hand, but Julia tugged it away.

  ‘No, I’m leaving, Nick. I don’t know why I ever let you talk me into this.’ And with that, Julia ran out of the door.

  Nick stood for a moment in absolute shock, uncertainty written across his face as he tried to decide what to do for the best.

  ‘Sorry. I’m so sorry,’ he blurted out to Annie, before running out of the door and after his wife.

  * * *