The Girl's Guide to Falling in Love

by Sophie Hart

  There was a mirror opposite where she was sitting, and Annie surreptitiously checked out her appearance. She wasn’t vain, but she thought she looked nice tonight; her bobbed hair was shiny and bouncy, and she’d taken time over her make-up, experimenting with black kohl for a smoky-eyed look. Black skinny jeans and a pretty lace top completed the look.

  The bar was filling up, and she saw Tom making his way through the crowd carrying a glass of wine and a pint of lager. At least he hadn’t tried the old ‘forgotten my wallet’ trick, Annie thought, warming to him even more.

  ‘Thanks,’ Annie smiled, taking a sip of her wine. It was fruity and delicious, and she could tell he hadn’t simply picked the cheapest one on the menu. Another point in his favour.

  ‘So, you work with Greg?’ she asked, by way of an opener. ‘At Huntington Mutual?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Tom nodded, running a hand through his dark hair. ‘I’m actually more senior than him, but don’t tell Greg I said that, will you?’ he chuckled. ‘I’ve only just started there. I took a couple of months off to go travelling before that.’

  ‘Really?’ Annie brightened. ‘Where did you go?’

  ‘The usual route – New Zealand, Australia, then up to Malaysia, Thailand and across to Cambodia then Vietnam.’

  ‘Wow!’ Annie was genuinely impressed. ‘That sounds amazing.’

  ‘It was pretty incredible. Do you want to see some photos?’ he asked, pulling out an iPhone, as Annie nodded enthusiastically.

  ‘Sure.’

  Tom scrolled across the screen, turning his phone around to show Annie a classic Thai beach shot, all pure white sand, dazzling blue water and lush green mountains rising in the background. But it wasn’t the scenery that attracted Annie’s attention; in the centre of the photo, Tom was posing in nothing but a pair of Hawaiian board shorts, and Annie had to admit that his body looked amazing, all tanned and buff.

  ‘Gorgeous,’ she murmured under her breath. ‘Thailand, that is,’ she added hastily, while Tom grinned as though he knew exactly what was going through her mind.

  ‘And this is the Golden Temple in Bangkok,’ he went on.

  Annie nodded as she looked at the picture, thinking that Tom just seemed to get better and better. He was cultured, well travelled, looked amazing without a shirt on… Maybe Holly and Greg had done a good job after all.

  ‘Bangkok was extreme – I saw things there that would blow your mind,’ Tom continued. ‘They’ve got these women there who can shoot a ping-pong ball right out of their—’

  ‘Yes, I’ve heard about those,’ Annie cut in quickly, but Tom was already scrolling onto the next photo, which showed him with his arm around a pretty Thai girl.

  ‘Shit,’ he exclaimed, hastily snatching the phone back. ‘That was just a… um… what you’d call a holiday romance.’

  ‘Right,’ Annie said neutrally, taking a sip of her wine and mentally reassessing Tom’s suitability as a potential boyfriend. Maybe Holly and Greg’s matchmaking skills left something to be desired after all.

  ‘So, what do you do for a living, Annie?’ Tom asked, trying to steer the conversation back onto safer ground.

  ‘I’m a therapist,’ Annie announced, unconsciously holding her breath and praying that Tom wouldn’t say anything inappropriate.

  ‘Yeah, that’s right.’ Tom clicked his fingers and pointed at her. ‘Greg mentioned you’re some kind of sex worker.’

  Annie winced. ‘No, not exactly. Sex worker tends to imply… never mind.’ She forced a smile. ‘I’m a qualified therapist. I help couples who are having problems in their relationship.’

  ‘By having sex with them?’ Tom pressed. He took a gulp of his drink and looked at her expectantly. Annie realised that his question was genuine.

  ‘No, not by having sex with them,’ she explained slowly. ‘I counsel them. Offer them a safe place to talk through their issues.’

  ‘Okay. Because I’m totally not judging you,’ Tom said easily. ‘That’s one of the really great qualities about me as a person. In fact, when I was in Thailand, I thought about becoming a Buddhist.’

  ‘Did you?’

  ‘Yeah. I didn’t want to have to stop going to the gym though.’

  Annie’s eyes narrowed in confusion. Following Tom’s train of thought had suddenly become very difficult. ‘Are Buddhists not… Can Buddhists not go to the gym?’ she tried again.

  Tom shook his head. ‘I’d have to develop that little Buddha belly, wouldn’t I? But I like my six-pack too much. See?’ He pulled up his T-shirt to show off those impressive abs.

  ‘Oh, I see,’ Annie replied, trying very hard not to laugh. ‘Buddhism’s probably not for you then.’

  ‘I think you’re right,’ Tom sighed, as he let his T-shirt drop again. ‘So, Annie, are you a fan of the gym?’

  Annie wrinkled her nose. ‘I’m not much of a gym bunny, no. But I do like to go running every now and again – it really clears my head, especially when work gets stressful.’

  Tom was frowning. ‘You need to go the gym, Annie. Especially at your age – you need to start using weights, and building muscle mass.’

  ‘At my age?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Tom nodded, not appearing to notice her outrage. ‘I mean, what are you? Forty?’

  Annie was taken aback. ‘I’m thirty-four,’ she replied, through gritted teeth.

  ‘Really? Wow.’ Tom looked shocked. Suddenly, his eyes widened, and he clicked his fingers once again. ‘That’s why you look different from your Facebook photo!’ he exclaimed. ‘You look much older in real life.’

  It took all of Annie’s willpower not to slap him round the face. Instead, she drained her glass of wine then stood up from the stool. ‘Would you excuse me a moment?’ she asked politely. ‘I’m just going to the ladies’ room.’

  ‘No worries. I’ll get you another drink. Same again, yeah?’

  ‘Yes please,’ Annie agreed, thinking that the only way she was going to get through this date was by drinking copious amounts of red wine.

  In the safety of the bathroom, Annie took a few calming breaths, clutching onto the side of the sink so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

  What on earth had her sister been thinking, setting her up with Tom? Just because Annie was single didn’t mean she was desperate! And how on earth had her first impressions been proven so wrong? Yet again, Annie found herself worrying that her judgement was way off when it came to men. In a professional setting, she was undoubtedly an expert at dealing with relationships and emotions, but in her private life she seemed to mess it up every time.

  Annie stared at her reflection in the mirror, scrutinising the fine lines around her eyes, the occasional silver hair nestling in her brunette bob. Had she really aged as rapidly as Tom said? Annie knew that she wasn’t eighteen any more, but she didn’t want to be either. She was happy with her looks, and comfortable in her own skin, but comments like Tom’s were bound to make her question her appearance.

  Reapplying a fresh coat of lipstick, Annie wondered what to do next. Her first idea was to climb out of the toilet window and escape, but she didn’t think that was an option. If nothing else, she’d left her coat at the table, and she wasn’t leaving without that. Maybe she should give Tom another chance, Annie told herself. After all, she’d promised Holly that she’d give this date a fair try, and leaving after one drink didn’t really constitute that. Plus Tom didn’t seem to be deliberately malicious, just… incurably stupid.

  Annie shook out her hair, quickly running her fingers through it, then walked back through to the bar. She was delighted to see a glass of red wine waiting for her, and it was a moment before she realised that Tom was no longer sitting at the table. He was standing up with his back to Annie, chatting away to a girl who barely looked old enough to legally drink.

  The girl was wearing the shortest, tightest dress that Annie had ever seen, and kept hopping from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable in an enormous pair of heels. Annie sighed, suddenly feeling very
middle-aged, as she realised that all she wanted to do was give the girl a pair of nice, comfy flats and a cosy jacket to keep her warm.

  Tom and the mystery girl had their heads bent close together, and she was laughing at something he was showing her on his phone. The next moment, he casually slipped an arm around the girl’s tiny waist, and Annie decided it was time for her to leave. There was a limit to how much she could take, and Tom had plainly just exceeded it. Plus, if she was quick, she might even catch the end of Bake Off.

  Annie moved closer to grab her coat, overhearing Tom’s conversation as she did so. ‘Yeah, I work out a lot,’ he was saying to the girl, who was looking at him with an expression of rapt fascination. ‘Check out my abs,’ he invited her, as he pulled up his T-shirt.

  The girl’s eyes widened in awe, and she cautiously reached a hand out to touch his washboard stomach, before collapsing into giggles.

  ‘What did you say your name was, princess?’ Tom asked casually.

  The girl was winding a strand of long, fake hair around her finger. ‘Gemma.’

  ‘Hi Gemma,’ Tom said, as Gemma giggled once again.

  Annie had heard enough. She turned to leave when Gemma said something that caught her attention.

  ‘So are you on your own tonight? I thought I saw you talking to someone earlier.’

  ‘What?’ For a moment, Tom looked panicked. ‘Oh no, that wasn’t anyone important. To be honest, I was just doing a favour for a friend by taking this woman out. She’s thirty-four and single, so it’s nice for her to get out of the house now and again.’

  ‘Thirty-four!’ Gemma repeated incredulously. ‘That’s just… weird.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Tom agreed. ‘I like to think of it as charity work. Doing my bit to help the elderly,’ he confided, bending his head closer to Gemma’s as the two of them started laughing.

  Annie’s mouth tightened into a grim line, her heart pounding in anger. She felt humiliated and absolutely furious, a red mist appearing in front of her eyes. Acting purely on instinct, with no time to rationalise or think sensibly about what she was doing, she snatched up the glass of red wine on the table. Holding it over Tom’s head, she tipped it up and poured…

  8

  Chapter Eight

  ‘Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy’ – Anaïs Nin

  ‘I have to say, you’re somewhat younger than my usual clients,’ Annie smiled warmly at the young couple sitting in front of her. They’d bounded through the door with youthful enthusiasm – a stark contrast to the reluctant entrance and worried glances of her usual first-timers.

  Zoe and Simon grinned back excitedly.

  ‘I’m twenty-five and he’s twenty-eight,’ Zoe informed Annie, her eyes dancing. ‘And we just got engaged – look!’ She thrust her left hand across the desk for Annie to see.

  ‘Congratulations. What a beautiful ring,’ Annie enthused, admiring the small diamond on the narrow silver band. Now she felt even more confused. Why on earth would a young, newly engaged couple require her services? It was usually couples who’d been together for a long time and found themselves stuck in a rut, or those whose relationships were in danger of imminent breakdown, that came to see her. Annie had learnt to be an excellent judge of people over the years, and these two looked extremely happy and in love.

  Not wanting to disclose these thoughts to them, she asked simply, ‘So what brings you to see me today?’

  Zoe and Simon looked at each another anxiously, both expecting the other to speak first. Eventually, Simon cleared his throat.

  ‘I’m not sure whether you’d be the right person to help us. We’ve had a pretty crazy idea, and it might not be something you want to deal with.’

  ‘Okay,’ Annie nodded, more intrigued than ever. ‘Try me.’

  ‘We’ve decided – I mean, we’ve talked about it a lot, and we’ve come to the conclusion that…’ Simon took a deep breath and turned to his fiancée.

  ‘We’ve taken a vow of celibacy!’ Zoe burst out.

  She looked so excited that Annie couldn’t help laughing. ‘Tell me more.’

  ‘We’re getting married in July,’ Zoe explained, gabbling away excitedly. ‘Well, we think it’ll be July – we haven’t set a date yet, and we need to start looking at venues and everything because I know it’s really short notice, but we want to do it quickly if we can.’

  Annie nodded, letting Zoe continue. She was speaking so fast that it was hard to keep up.

  ‘And we just thought: how can we make our wedding day as special as possible? Well, our wedding night in this case. So we’ve decided that we’re not going to have any sex until the wedding, haven’t we, Simon?’

  Simon nodded in confirmation. Annie looked at him carefully, trying to read his expression.

  ‘And is this a mutual decision?’

  ‘Yes, it is,’ Simon replied. ‘I mean, it was Zoe that came up with the idea, but I’m happy to go along with whatever she wants. Obviously I’ll miss – well, you know – but I think it will work out for the best, in the long run.’

  He was gazing at Zoe adoringly, and Annie thought once again what a sweet couple they made. Simon was so big, physically, and built like a rugby player, his jean-clad thighs almost taking up the whole width of the armchair. He was clearly besotted with his pretty fiancée, who looked even younger than her twenty-five years in casual clothes and the bare minimum of make-up, her long copper hair trailing down her back in a messy plait.

  ‘Can you imagine how amazing our wedding night will be?’ Zoe said dreamily. ‘All that build up, and months of anticipation, before we finally… Ooh, it’s going to be explosive!’

  ‘I’m sure it’ll be spectacular,’ Annie smiled. ‘So you’ve obviously been having regular sex already?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Simon nodded.

  ‘Very regular,’ Zoe added, with a naughty little grin. ‘All over the place too. And we like to experiment.’

  ‘Zoe!’ Simon exclaimed. ‘You can’t say that.’

  ‘Why not? Annie doesn’t mind, do you? You must hear stuff like this every day.’

  ‘I’m pretty unshockable,’ Annie assured them.

  ‘See! I told you,’ Zoe said triumphantly to Simon. ‘Actually, this one time we had sex on a train,’ she giggled, turning back to Annie. ‘It was a bank holiday, and we’d gone to Cambridge for the day. We caught the last train back, and there was no one else in the carriage. We’d been drinking, so we were both a bit tipsy, and we snuggled up and got a little too frisky. We had these coats over us, so no one would see, and then we’d literally just finished when the ticket inspector walked into the carriage. It was incredible!’

  ‘Too much information,’ Simon muttered, looking hugely embarrassed. ‘This is only our first session, remember?’

  Annie smiled at Zoe’s candour, as she scribbled some notes on her pad. ‘It sounds as though lack of excitement is the last thing you need to worry about in your relationship! Now, do you mind if I ask you a few questions? Firstly, how long have you been together?’

  ‘Three years,’ Simon replied, relieved to finally be on a safer subject.

  ‘And four months,’ Zoe couldn’t resist adding.

  ‘Great. You’re obviously very strong in your relationship. Very secure, and committed,’ Annie told them, linking her fingers together and resting her elbows on the desk as she sat forward. ‘If you don’t mind me saying, I’m not really sure what you need me for. You clearly don’t have any major issues – unless there’s something I’m not aware of?’

  ‘Like Zoe said,’ Simon began, ‘We want to make our wedding night as special as possible. And, whilst it’ll be great to finally have sex again, we want to make it amazing.’

  ‘The best sex ever,’ chimed in Zoe. ‘So we’ve talked about it, and we want to discover everything about each other. To know each other intimately – inside and out,’ she couldn’t resist adding.

  ‘So these next six months will be like… one big foreplay s
ession?’ Annie mused, finally understanding where they were going with this.

  ‘Exactly!’

  ‘And we thought that rather than just doing this ourselves, we should get a professional involved to make sure we’re doing everything right, and maybe give us a programme to follow or something.’

  ‘But make it fun,’ Zoe added hastily. ‘Not like homework, or a chore or anything.’

  ‘Absolutely. Sex – or, in this case, the build up to it – should never be a chore,’ Annie agreed, smiling at the couple in front of her. They were so young and so in love that she couldn’t help but be reminded of her relationship with Mark. The difference with Zoe and Simon was that these two seemed to have their eyes wide open and their feet planted firmly on the ground. They’d clearly thought long and hard about marriage, and were doing everything they could to prepare for it, and lay a solid foundation for the future.

  Annie sometimes wondered whether she and Mark would have stood a better chance of staying together if they’d spoken to a counsellor or visited a therapist. Then again, if Annie had been making rational and sensible decisions, she would probably never have married Mark in the first place.

  ‘So, can you tell me a little bit more about you and your relationship?’ Annie asked, shaking her head slightly to clear her thoughts. ‘How did the two of you meet, for example?’

  ‘In a taxi,’ Simon replied, glancing over at Zoe for confirmation. ‘It sounds ridiculous, but that’s how it happened.’

  ‘We were both out in town,’ Zoe explained. ‘I’d just been to Mojo’s – the nightclub – with my friends, but I wasn’t having a great night so I decided to leave early. I was knackered after a long week at work, and there were no decent-looking blokes in the club. Little did I know I was about to meet the man of my dreams…’

  ‘I’d been in the Prince of Wales pub,’ Simon took over. ‘I had to be up early the next morning, and wasn’t really up for going to a club, so when the pub chucked us out I decided to go home. I wandered down the street for a bit, then saw a taxi and tried to hail it—’