The Girl's Guide to Falling in Love

by Sophie Hart

  Every day, Julia saw mothers in the street pushing their babies in prams, or passed harassed families doing the school run, or read articles in the newspaper about couples with sixteen children crammed into a three-bedroom house, and the desperate longing inside of her would reawaken with a vengeance. How was it that they had all so easily achieved the one thing she wanted most in life?

  And now Nick was bleating on about how their relationship was suffering, wanting to go and see that busybody counsellor woman. To Julia, it just didn’t make sense. What husband wouldn’t long for sex all day and every day, as often as he wanted and then some?

  He’d seemed genuinely angry tonight, Julia reflected. She really hadn’t been as calculating as he’d suspected – she’d simply tired of all the arguments and wanted to make up, figuring that a delicious, home-cooked meal and, yes, a long, steamy session between the sheets would get everything back on track. But once again, communication had broken down between the two of them, and the evening had ended in a row.

  Wearily, Julia got to her feet and switched off the kitchen light, heading upstairs to bed. As she’d suspected, the door to the spare room was firmly shut; across the hall, she could see the unoccupied bed in the master bedroom. Julia stared at it for a moment, biting her lip in thought. Then she made her decision, reaching for the handle of the spare room door and quietly pushing it open.

  The light from the landing shone into the room, a narrow strip illuminating the carpet and the single bed. Julia could make out Nick’s familiar body shape beneath the duvet. He was perfectly still, his breathing even, but she doubted he was asleep.

  Padding across to the far side of the bed, Julia peeled back the cover and slid in behind him, spooning his body and letting one arm snake around to find his warm, bare chest. He tensed beneath her hand, his muscles rigid, and Julia immediately felt guilty.

  She kissed his neck softly, snuggling closer and murmuring in his ear. ‘I’m sorry, honey. I really am. I know things aren’t right between us, and that we need… We need to do something about it. If you really want, I’ll come to therapy with you. Contact Annie and… I’ll give it another try.’

  10

  Chapter Ten

  ‘If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it right?’ – Bette Midler

  Zoe and Simon were both stark naked in their tiny little living room. The old-fashioned gas fire was turned up to its maximum setting, and they’d switched the overhead lights off, illuminating the room with some thick pillar candles that Zoe had bought a couple of months earlier in the January sales. The curtains had been carefully drawn to ensure that no one could see in, despite the fact that their flat was on the first floor, and now they sat cross-legged on the carpet, facing each other.

  ‘I don’t know how I’m going to last six months,’ Simon groaned, as he gazed lustfully at Zoe’s body. ‘Are you sure this no-sex thing is a good idea? I think I’m regretting it now.’

  Zoe giggled. ‘Si, we haven’t even gone a fortnight yet, and you’re already struggling.’

  ‘I know.’ He looked up at her with a puppy-dog expression. ‘Maybe we should bring the wedding forward.’

  ‘Forward?’

  ‘Yeah. To next week,’ Simon suggested hopefully, as Zoe smiled.

  ‘No,’ she told him firmly, swatting his hand away as it began to creep up her inner thigh. ‘We’re going to do this properly.’

  ‘Okay, you win,’ Simon conceded. ‘What did that worksheet say again?’

  Zoe jumped up, heading over to their second-hand coffee table where she picked up the set of papers that Annie had given them. She was completely at ease with being naked in front of her fiancé, and saw no point in being shy – after all, he’d seen it all before. Like any woman, Zoe knew she had her flaws, but Simon had never given her the slightest indication that he didn’t completely love her body – on the contrary, he couldn’t seem to get enough of it – and Zoe was grateful for the confidence that gave her.

  ‘“Erogenous zones are areas of the human body”,’ Zoe read out loud, as she took her place back on the floor in front of Simon. ‘“Which when stimulated in some way – for example, being tickled, sucked or licked – result in the sexual arousal and potential orgasm of the individual.”’

  ‘I’m aroused with you just talking about it,’ Simon growled, glancing pointedly at his crotch.

  Zoe’s eyes widened. ‘So I see!’

  ‘I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to cope when you start tickling or sucking or licking.’

  ‘You’ll just have to exercise some self-restraint,’ Zoe told him, her eyes sparkling. ‘Now, carrying on, it says that: “As well as the obvious areas, such as breasts and genitalia, most people have many other erogenous zones which, when stimulated, result in differing degrees of arousal. These include, but are not limited to, the scalp, ear lobes, clavicle, armpits” – Ew!’ Zoe broke off. ‘I’m not licking your armpits! “…the inside of the elbows, knees, lower back, feet and toes.”’

  ‘I’ll take all of those please,’ Simon grinned.

  Zoe ignored him and carried on speaking. ‘So, Annie said we’re supposed to focus on the less obvious zones and discover which ones turn us on the most. We have to take time to stroke and caress each other’s bodies, and then rate the different areas from one to three, depending on how much we like it. One means we’re not too fussed, two means we like it, and three means that we love it and can’t get enough.’

  ‘Sounds good.’ Simon’s eyes roamed hungrily over Zoe. ‘Do you want to be the stroker or the strokee?’

  Zoe grinned. ‘I don’t mind. I’m easy.’

  ‘Ah, how I wish that was true,’ Simon sighed, as Zoe giggled. ‘Okay then, I’ll go first,’ he declared, lying flat on his back and closing his eyes.

  ‘Oh, I almost forgot!’ Zoe leapt to her feet once again, and rushed over to the saggy blue sofa where she’d left her handbag. She rifled through and pulled out a long, sleek, stiff feather in a shimmering shade of teal, twirling it admiringly. ‘Isn’t it pretty?’

  Simon opened his eyes to see what she was talking about. ‘So does that mean you’re not licking or sucking?’ he asked, unable to keep the note of disappointment out of his voice.

  ‘Not this week,’ Zoe shook her head, as she brushed the feather experimentally against her palm, enjoying the pleasant tickling sensation. ‘I got it on my lunch break, from that little craft shop on Elm Hill. The woman in the shop was chatting away, asking me what I planned to do with it. I panicked and told her I was making a hat!’

  ‘A hat? Very inventive.’

  ‘Oh, shut up and close your eyes,’ Zoe retorted. Simon did as he was told, a lazy grin playing on his lips.

  ‘Right,’ Zoe murmured, looking thoughtfully at his naked body. ‘Where do I start…?’

  She was beginning to feel fairly aroused herself at the sight of Simon’s broad shoulders and strong arms, the dark hair on his chest and his powerful, rugby-player thighs. Not to mention his impressive manhood…

  It would be so easy to tear up Annie’s worksheet and forget the pact that they’d made, Zoe reflected, biting her lip in frustration. She could climb on top of Simon right now, straddle him and slowly slide down onto his big—

  ‘Are you still there?’ Simon asked worriedly, half-opening one eye.

  ‘What? Oh, yes, sorry,’ Zoe replied, looking flustered. ‘I got distracted there for a second. Close your eyes again.’

  ‘I feel very vulnerable here,’ Simon confessed. ‘You’d better not be taking any dirty pictures and sending them to your friends. Or your mum.’

  ‘Great idea – I hadn’t thought of that,’ Zoe chuckled. ‘You know my mum thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread. She’d probably love it!’

  ‘Can we please not talk about your mum right now? It’s really inappropriate timing!’

  ‘Okay, fair point,’ Zoe laughed. She fell quiet, trying to recapture the mood. Then, tenta
tively reaching forward, she very gently trailed the feather over Simon’s stomach. She brushed it across his navel, letting it catch in the dark, wiry hairs leading to his groin, then swished it out towards his hip bones.

  Simon shivered, goose bumps appearing along his arm. ‘Mmm, that tickles.’

  Zoe smiled. ‘You like?’

  ‘Sort of… I’ll give it a two,’ Simon replied, scrunching up his face. ‘Nice, but no wow factor.’

  ‘Okay,’ Zoe nodded, already selecting her next target. ‘Hmm…’ She crawled a couple of paces forward until she was level with his feet. They were typical male feet – unloved and uncared for, with nails that needed clipping and a tuft of dark hair sprouting from each toe. Slowly, Zoe ran the feather along the underside of Simon’s right foot, dragging it from the heel to the ball, then sliding it along his toes.

  Simon flinched, jerking his leg away. ‘One!’ he yelled. ‘Zero, even. I didn’t like that at all. It made me feel a bit sick, actually.’

  ‘So you definitely don’t have a foot fetish?’

  ‘Not for my feet – yours might be a different story…’

  ‘Well, we can both keep away from your feet in future then. I don’t want to go near them again – not until you’ve had a decent pedicure.’

  Simon frowned. ‘I don’t think you’re very good at this game,’ he teased. ‘I think you need to concentrate on finding some zones that are going to blow my mind.’

  ‘I’d be careful with that attitude,’ Zoe replied, raising an eyebrow in warning. ‘In case you’ve forgotten, you’re in a very vulnerable position here. One false move from me, and our chances of having kids could be over.’

  Simon quickly shut his mouth, lying quietly as Zoe moved to the other end of his body. She trailed the feather languorously up and down the side of his neck, over his collarbone, then back towards his earlobe.

  ‘Grr, three,’ Simon purred happily.

  Zoe smiled, leaning forwards until her lips were almost touching his skin, before blowing lightly on the sensitive area around his neck and ear.

  ‘Five… Ten… A hundred!’ Simon cried out, his whole body tingling with pleasure. He opened his eyes and, seeing Zoe so close to him, couldn’t resist reaching out to kiss her.

  Zoe acquiesced, closing her eyes as Simon’s large hands gently cupped her face, delighting in the familiar taste of his mouth, and the delicious warmth of his body. She lay down on the floor beside him, their legs entwining as things gradually became more heated, until Simon reluctantly pulled away.

  ‘Are we allowed to do this?’ he wondered. He was breathing heavily, his expression intense as he focused on his fiancée.

  Zoe nodded. ‘Yes. We’re not having sex, are we? So it’s fine.’

  ‘It’s not fine.’ Simon rolled away from her with a groan. ‘It’s so frustrating! And if we carry on like this, I can’t be responsible for my actions. Now give me that feather and let me have a turn!’

  ‘Are you sure you don’t need a cold shower instead?’

  ‘Probably,’ Simon agreed, as he plucked the feather from Zoe’s hand and rolled her onto her stomach. ‘Now, marks out of three for the lower back…?’

  ‘Ooh, three,’ Zoe sighed happily. She rested her head on her hands, her eyes catching on the diamond engagement ring sparkling in the candlelight. She still couldn’t quite believe that it was hers, and that she really was going to marry her gorgeous fiancé. Then she turned her face to the side, settling down contentedly as Simon went about his task.

  He continued to brush the feather across Zoe’s bare skin, moving from her neck and shoulder blades down over the soft curve of her bottom, along the backs of her thighs, her calves, and finally sweeping across the soles of her feet. It felt utterly blissful, and Zoe sighed in delight, announcing that everywhere was a three.

  ‘So your whole body is basically one big erogenous zone?’

  ‘Makes life easy for you, doesn’t it?’ Zoe quipped, gazing lovingly at Simon.

  ‘Hey, you shouldn’t have your eyes open, that’s cheating!’ he exclaimed. Then a sly smile stole across his face. ‘I’ve got an idea…’

  Simon jumped to his feet and walked out of the room, Zoe admiring his firm, round bottom as he went. Due to all the manual labour he did at work, his body was in great shape.

  In the bedroom, Simon was opening drawers and rifling through cupboards.

  ‘What are you looking for?’ Zoe shouted, propping herself up on her elbows.

  ‘Never you mind,’ Simon shouted back as he continued to search, the noise drifting through to where Zoe lay in the living room. The two of them lived in a small flat above a furniture shop on Magdalen Street, which Zoe had rented along with her friend, Hannah, when they left university. A few months after Zoe had met Simon, Hannah decided to move out and Simon decided to move in, in an arrangement that suited everyone perfectly. Now Zoe and Simon were saving up for their own place, but with a wedding and honeymoon to plan, money was tight. Zoe sometimes wondered whether they would ever be able to afford a home of their own…

  ‘Found it!’ Simon called triumphantly, as he came back through to the living room gleefully waving a tie. It was lilac-coloured, and the only one he owned; Zoe had chosen it when they’d attended a friend’s wedding together last summer. ‘I knew it would come in handy one day,’ he grinned.

  ‘What are you planning to do with that?’ Zoe asked, her eyes dancing as she thought of what Simon might be intending to try. She was sitting up now, her long, titian hair hanging down past her shoulders and over her small breasts. Her skin was pale and smooth, her body slender.

  Without saying a word, Simon bent down and looped the tie around her head, pulling it taut over her eyes and tying the ends in a knot.

  ‘Can you see?’

  Zoe shook her head, her excitement building. She felt a little nervous, but there was something incredibly sexy about giving up control, relinquishing all power to Simon.

  ‘How many fingers am I holding up?’

  ‘Three?’ she guessed.

  ‘Trick question,’ Simon murmured, his lips close to her ear, his breath tickling the skin on her neck, disturbing the stray wisps of hair. ‘I’m not holding up any. Now lie back…’

  Zoe did as Simon commanded, her body on fire with anticipation. Simon couldn’t take his eyes off her, as he picked up the feather and began to trace light circles around her pale pink nipples.

  ‘Three,’ Zoe whispered, her voice catching in her throat.

  Simon exhaled heavily, waves of lust crashing over him. ‘I don’t know how I’m going to survive these next few months,’ he told her again. ‘Seriously Zoe, I’m so horny, I think I’m going to explode.’

  Zoe contemplated his words for a few moments, the tension hanging heavily in the air between them. ‘You know,’ she began finally, her voice low and husky. ‘We’ve only agreed not to have sex before the wedding. That actually leaves a whole lot of other things we can do… if we use our imaginations.’

  Simon paused, thinking about what she’d just said. He was so turned on that he could barely breathe. ‘I like the way you’re thinking.’

  Zoe sat up, sliding the tie off her head and looking Simon straight in the eye. ‘What do you think?’ she murmured suggestively. ‘I’m sure we can come to some arrangement that’s… mutually satisfying.’

  Simon grinned, as he realised exactly what she was implying. ‘I knew there was a reason I asked you to marry me,’ he growled, as he pushed her back down on the floor and passionately kissed her.

  11

  Chapter Eleven

  ‘I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer’ – Woody Allen

  ‘Hello and welcome! It’s great to see so many of you here today, and some new faces too,’ Annie beamed, as she looked around the room, spotting Zoe and Simon and, surprisingly, Nick and Julia, seated in the semi-circle amongst her regulars.

  ‘Now, as those of you who’ve been before will know, these Saturday mor
ning sessions are very different to your individual sessions with me. We won’t be referring to the specific reasons any of you come to visit me, and you absolutely don’t have to do or say anything you don’t feel comfortable with.’

  She smiled round, as everyone nodded and murmured in the affirmative. There were a dozen people altogether – six couples – of varying ages. Some sat close to their partner, holding hands and glancing at one another occasionally, whilst others kept their chairs apart and looked straight ahead, avoiding eye contact with their other half.

  ‘These group sessions are intended to be more fun and less intense than the one-on-one meetings, but hopefully you’ll all still learn something valuable that will be of use to you in working on your relationships,’ Annie continued. ‘As there are some newcomers today, can we start by going round and having everyone say their names, then we can all get acquainted. Zoe, would you like to go first?’

  Zoe and Simon were sitting on one end, and were one of the couples whose body language indicated they were in a very happy relationship.

  ‘Okay,’ Zoe agreed, looking a little nervous. She leant forward into the semi-circle, so that she could see everyone, and said brightly, ‘Hi, I’m Zoe, and this is my boyfriend – well, fiancé – Simon.’

  ‘Hi everyone, I’m Simon, and my wife-to-be very often speaks on my behalf,’ Simon joked, making the others laugh as Zoe, realising what she’d done, blushed bright red.

  Nick came next. ‘I’m Nick,’ he announced, with a brief, awkward nod.

  ‘Julia,’ said Julia shortly, the expression on her face indicating that this was the last place she wanted to be right now.