The Girl's Guide to Falling in Love

by Sophie Hart

  ‘Oh. Yes. Mark,’ Pamela said, pursing her lips into a fine line. ‘Well, the less said about that episode, the better. But we’ve all moved on from it now, haven’t we? That was just a silly, youthful mistake, and it’s about time you found someone else, don’t you think?’

  Annie stared hard at her plate and carried on eating, carefully not looking at her mother. She didn’t want to start an argument, but didn’t trust herself to speak.

  ‘Well, Annie is dating,’ Holly spoke up, breaking the silence. Pamela turned to look at her, and Annie’s head snapped up, wondering what Holly was doing. ‘She went out on a date with a friend of Greg’s,’ Holly continued, sounding more uncertain now. ‘Didn’t she, Greg?’

  Greg remained silent, until Holly jabbed him in the ribs. He fixed Annie with a hard look. ‘Yes. Yes she did.’

  ‘What are you doing?’ Annie mouthed silently at Holly.

  Holly looked panic-stricken. ‘Sorry! Trying to help,’ she mouthed back.

  ‘Did you now?’ Pamela said, looking distinctly more impressed. ‘And what was this young man’s name?’

  Annie cleared her throat. ‘Tom. He was called Tom.’

  ‘He sounds nice,’ Pam replied, and Annie couldn’t help but wonder what criteria her mother was basing this on. ‘And will you be seeing him again?’

  Annie hesitated, glancing across at Greg who had a face like thunder. ‘No, I don’t think I will. He… He wasn’t my type,’ she finished lamely.

  Pamela put her fork down, disappointment written across her face. ‘Oh, Annie. You’re just too fussy, you know that.’

  Annie opened her mouth to retort, but her father came to her rescue. ‘You know, Annie, I didn’t marry your mother until I was thirty-six. I was seen as a confirmed bachelor in those days, but then Pamela swept me off my feet,’ he finished, smiling across at her.

  ‘Yes, but it was different for you,’ Pam insisted.

  ‘Why? Because he was a man?’ Annie shot back.

  ‘Yes, exactly, darling. More wine, anyone?’

  ‘Mum!’ Holly burst out in exasperation, despairing at her mother’s outdated views. Pamela merely shrugged, her face a picture of innocence as she refilled their glasses.

  Annie opened her mouth to fire back a sarcastic retort, stopping in her tracks as she felt a wet nose snuffling at her feet and looked down to see Romeo. He was gazing up at her adoringly, with those huge brown eyes.

  At least someone loves me, Annie thought wryly, smiling sweetly at her mother, as she smuggled Romeo a piece of Yorkshire pudding and he chomped happily underneath the table.

  ‘Are you sure you don’t want just one glass?’ Pamela was asking Holly. ‘I know you’re driving, but so’s Annie, and one glass is okay.’

  ‘I’m fine thanks, Mum,’ Holly replied. She sneaked a sideways glance at Greg, who almost imperceptibly nodded his head. ‘Actually, there’s something we need to tell you all.’

  Annie’s heart began to beat faster as she looked at her sister, noticing the glow that seemed to surround her, the way she was beaming at her husband.

  Pamela seemed to sense it too, quickly sitting down at the table, one hand on her chest in anticipation.

  ‘I’m pregnant,’ Holly burst out. ‘We’re having a baby!’

  ‘Oh congratulations,’ Pamela cried, looking close to tears. ‘That’s wonderful news – Graham, break out the champagne!’

  ‘Hey, that’s not fair, I can’t have any,’ Holly protested, as everyone laughed.

  Annie leant across to hug her sister. ‘I’m so happy for you,’ she said genuinely.

  Holly looked back at her, her eyes dancing. ‘You’re going to be an auntie!’

  ‘Auntie Annie?’ Annie replied, pulling a face. ‘I’m not sure about that.’

  ‘You’ll get used to it,’ Holly grinned. ‘Unless you want the baby to call you Auntie Wotsit,’ she teased, picking up on Annie’s teenage nickname which stemmed from an unfortunate incident with some fake tan.

  ‘Annie’s fine,’ she replied hastily.

  ‘So how far along are you? When’s the baby due?’ asked Pamela, dabbing her eyes with a tea towel.

  ‘We’ve got our first scan on Thursday, so it’s a little early still,’ Holly explained. ‘But we just couldn’t wait.’

  ‘Here, I’ll let you do the honours,’ Graham said, as he passed a bottle of champagne to Greg, who promptly popped the cork to a round of applause and filled four flutes.

  Pamela raised her glass in a toast. ‘To Holly and Greg, and their new little one. And to being grandparents.’

  ‘And to Auntie Annie,’ Holly couldn’t resist adding.

  ‘To Auntie Annie,’ they echoed, as Annie blushed and took a large gulp of her champagne.

  * * *

  ‘I’ll never let go, Jack. I promise…’

  Annie was curled up on the sofa in her onesie, cuddling a pillow, as she tried to stop the tears from flowing. Kate Winslet was clutching Leonardo DiCaprio’s hands, giving them one final, tender kiss before he plunged into the icy waters of the Atlantic Ocean.

  Annie’s snuffles turned into full-on sobs, as the final scenes of Titanic played out, and she grabbed a tissue from the box on the coffee table. Her goldfish, Harry and Sally, watched disinterestedly as she dried her eyes and blew her nose.

  As the titles rolled, and Celine Dion began to sing, Annie flopped backwards on the sofa and let out a sigh.

  Maybe her mother was right, she thought dispiritedly. Maybe she had become too fussy when it came to men. But was it so very wrong to want a love like Jack and Rose – and a man who looked like Leo?

  If anything, it was her mother’s fault in the first place, for bringing her up on films like Brief Encounter and Casablanca. Annie wanted a strong, sexy, yet sensitive hero, who could defend her honour but talk about his feelings too.

  If Annie was being honest with herself, she knew it was the news of her sister’s pregnancy that had thrown her feelings into sharp relief, and caused her to come home from her parents’ house and instantly stick Titanic on the DVD player. Of course, she was ecstatic that Holly and Greg were having a baby, and she couldn’t wait to be an auntie… But Annie couldn’t shake the feeling that nothing in her life was going to plan, while Holly was doing everything perfectly – marriage to her childhood sweetheart, a good job, settling down with a baby, and all before she hit thirty. All Annie had was an extensive DVD collection and a job which people sometimes confused with prostitution.

  But no, she was just being silly, she told herself, as she hauled herself up from the sofa and threw the empty Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food tub in the bin. The right man would come along eventually, she felt sure of it, and when he did she would know. It wouldn’t be like the last time – she wouldn’t misread the signs, or rush into anything she shouldn’t, swept up in a romantic fantasy that had little to do with the reality of the situation. But it would only happen when the time was right.

  One thing Annie had learnt from all the couples who came to see her – and from all the romantic comedies she’d watched over the years – was that you couldn’t fake chemistry. Anyone who’d ever seen Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton together in Cleopatra knew that – the screen practically melted, the electricity between them was so hot.

  Annie had often counselled couples who, on the surface, were as different as chalk and cheese, appearing to have little in common. One might be a six-foot burly male with a WWE obsession, married to a five-foot-nothing mousy type who preferred to spend time reading romance novels; or a go-get-’em alpha female with a guy who was quite happy to stay at home and be a house husband; but once you spoke to them, the chemistry between them was undeniable. Annie just helped them to rediscover it.

  No, she resolved. Despite what her mother said, Annie didn’t intend to settle for anything less than a man who could turn on her body and her brain. She would dry her eyes, cheer up and get back out there. After all, as Scarlett O’Hara might say, tomorrow is another day.
r />   13

  Chapter Thirteen

  ‘My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects’ – Les Dawson

  ‘Linda, it’s so good to finally meet you,’ Annie smiled warmly, ushering Ray and his wife into her office.

  Linda looked distinctly less enthusiastic. She kept her coat wrapped tightly around her, like a layer of protection, her lips pressed together in a thin line as she stared around Annie’s office.

  ‘Ray, how are you?’ Annie asked, as she closed the door behind them.

  ‘I’m well, thank you,’ Ray replied politely, although his expression betrayed just how nervous he was at the prospect of what lay ahead. Annie suspected it had taken an awful lot of convincing just to get Linda to turn up today, and she knew she had to tread carefully if she was going to get Linda to return and work through their issues.

  ‘So, Linda, what has Ray told you about these sessions?’ she asked brightly.

  Linda glanced angrily at her husband, before meeting Annie’s gaze. ‘Not very much. I know he thinks we have various… problems that he thinks you can help us with.’

  Annie rested her elbows on the desk, lacing her fingers together. ‘And have you had the opportunity to talk about these problems?’

  ‘A little,’ Linda offered, still looking as though she didn’t want to be there. ‘I know that it’s all about our… well, about our lack of… Oh, this is ridiculous!’ she burst out, standing up and turning angrily on Ray. ‘I don’t know why on earth you brought me here. I don’t mean to be rude,’ she said to Annie, ‘and I’m sure you mean well, but there’s absolutely no way this is going to work.’

  ‘Linda,’ Annie began, jumping to her feet.

  Ray stood up too, placing his body between Linda and the exit. ‘Please, love,’ he said desperately. ‘We’ve come this far. At least give it a fair go.’

  Linda hesitated, looking from Ray to Annie and back again.

  ‘We absolutely don’t have to discuss anything you don’t want to,’ Annie assured her. ‘You can let me know immediately if you’re not comfortable with anything, and we’ll change the subject.’

  Mutinously, and without saying a word, Linda sat back down. Annie silently exhaled, meeting Ray’s eyes in a mutual glance of relief.

  ‘So perhaps we should start by talking more generally about your marriage – where you met, and how you first got together. Who’d like to start?’

  Ray nodded encouragingly at Linda. ‘Go on, love.’

  Linda raised her eyes to the ceiling then took a deep breath. ‘We first met in a club, back in 1979. The Empire, it was called, on Red Lion Street. It’s not there any more. They knocked it down, and built that big Debenhams.’

  ‘I’d gone with my mate, Jim, for his stag do,’ Ray explained. ‘He was getting married the following week, but I was still single.’

  Linda shrugged. ‘That’s about it really. He came over to chat to me at the bar, and then we had a dance.’

  ‘She caught my eye straight away,’ Ray grinned. ‘She was wearing this tiny little tartan mini skirt, with these knee-length socks, and a tight polo neck that showed off her fantastic boobs and her tiny waist.’

  ‘All right, all right.’ Linda rolled her eyes. ‘You make me sound like a tart!’

  A flicker of hurt crossed Ray’s face. ‘I didn’t mean that at all. You looked wonderful.’

  ‘Clearly things have changed a bit since then,’ Linda said, with a wry glance at Annie.

  ‘Not at all,’ Ray insisted. ‘You still look amazing.’

  Linda snorted in disbelief. ‘You can see why I fell for him, can’t you? He had all the right lines,’ she spat, and her tone was resentful.

  Annie frowned, wondering why these memories didn’t seem to be as happy for Linda as they were for Ray. ‘Can you tell me about your wedding day? Ray, how did you propose?’

  At this, both of them looked uncomfortable. Ray’s leg began to jiggle anxiously, as Linda bit her lip and looked down at the floor.

  ‘What happened?’ Annie pressed.

  ‘It wasn’t… It wasn’t a traditional sort of proposal,’ Ray said carefully. ‘Well, maybe it was sort of traditional – I’m sure we’re not the only couple to get engaged under those circumstances. What I mean is, it wasn’t really a hearts and flowers occasion. I was working at Rowntree’s, the chocolate factory, at the time. Linda said she needed to talk to me, urgently, and she came and met me on my lunch break…’

  ‘I was pregnant,’ Linda burst out, tired of Ray stringing out the story. ‘I’d got up the duff with our Rose, so Ray said he’d marry me. That’s about the size of it, isn’t it?’ She turned to him accusingly.

  ‘Well, not exactly…’

  ‘Isn’t it? Do you mean to say you’d have married me if I wasn’t pregnant? I know you’d been sniffing around Susan Townsend. Pretty little Susie, with her perfect blonde hair and her fancy clothes from London. But instead you got lumbered with me because you wanted to do the right thing.’ The bitterness in her voice was shocking. Ray looked as though he’d been slapped.

  ‘Is that what you think? All these years, is this what you’ve believed?’

  Linda nodded. A tear slowly rolled down her cheek, and she swiped it away angrily.

  ‘That’s just… It’s just not true!’ Ray protested. ‘You really think I’d have stayed with you all this time, had our Marianne and Robbie too, if I wasn’t absolutely, completely, head over heels in love with you?’

  Linda raised an eyebrow. ‘Making the best of a bad job, I think they call it. But it’s fine – I had the kids and the shop, and they gave me a sense of purpose. No one can ever say I was a bad wife to you either; I always had your food on the table, and gave you what you wanted in bed too. But now I’m done. I don’t want to live a lie any more.’

  ‘Live a lie…?’ Ray looked utterly baffled. ‘So all these years when I thought everything was fine between us – that we were happy and in love – you’re saying that was some kind of sham?’

  ‘I don’t know what I’m saying!’ Linda was getting more upset with every word. Annie sat back quietly, instinctively feeling that she shouldn’t speak at this point. Right now, Linda and Ray were being more honest with each other than they had been for years, and she needed to leave them to it.

  ‘I don’t know what to do, other than to lay my cards on the table,’ Ray said eventually. ‘You know it’s not easy for me – I’m not a man who’s big on talking about his emotions and feelings. But needs must, I suppose. I’ve been absolutely mad about you since the first moment I saw you. When I clapped eyes on you in that bar, you were hands down the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, and something happened to me, right here,’ he continued softly, clasping a hand over his heart, his voice sounding choked. ‘And nothing’s been the same since. I knew from our very first date that you were the girl I wanted to marry, and nothing has changed for me. Nothing. I don’t know where you got that ridiculous story about Susan Townsend from.’

  ‘Angie O’Brien told me, just after we got married.’

  ‘Angie O’Brien was a nasty little stirrer with a vicious tongue. You really want to believe her, over me?’

  ‘I don’t know what to believe any more,’ Linda said helplessly.

  ‘Look, why do you think I’m always going on at you to work less hours in that damn shop? It’s because I want to spend time with you. I want us to do things together.’

  ‘What, like play golf?’ Linda shot back.

  For the first time, Ray looked across at Annie, his expression pleading.

  ‘Linda,’ Annie interjected softly, but Linda cut her off, abruptly getting to her feet.

  ‘Thank you, Annie, but I think we’re done here. I don’t think this is for me.’

  But to Annie and Linda’s surprise, Ray jumped up too, saying defiantly: ‘No, Linda, I need you to make a decision. We’ve talked more honestly in these last thirty minutes than we have in thirty years. I don’t know whether or not you believe m
e, but I’ve always loved you. Always. If you want to salvage this marriage then I believe that seeing Annie is a good thing, and that she’s the only one who can help us. So you need to make a decision, and you need to make it now. Are you in, or are you out?’

  14

  Chapter Fourteen

  ‘Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex’ – Barbara Cartland

  It was 9.30 pm and Annie was still in her office. The standing light behind her desk was switched on, the rain pattering lightly against the window. Annie stifled a yawn, stretching out her back which was aching from being hunched over her desk for so long. Then she leant forward and began writing once again, filling pages of A4 in her small, neat handwriting.

  Annie kept case notes of every couple she worked with, detailing after every session the topics they’d talked about and the exercises she’d set them, noting down any particular positives or negatives, as well as ideas to try with them in future. In spite of the modern, shiny Samsung laptop that she owned, Annie preferred to handwrite all of her notes, before filing them away in the large silver cabinets in the corner of the room.

  She was just writing up her observations of Ray and Linda’s relationship when there was a knock on the door. Annie jumped. At this time of night, there was usually no one else around. Perhaps it was Celeste, the cleaner, wanting to tidy Annie’s office, or come in for a chat.

  ‘Jamie!’ Annie exclaimed in surprise when she answered the door.

  ‘Hi Annie, I wondered if you’d still be here. I know you often work late.’

  ‘Yeah, unfortunately,’ she grinned, wondering what he wanted. He was dressed in dark trousers and a navy blue sweater, with a white shirt peeking out from beneath, and he looked tired but exhilarated.