Into The Deep

by T A. McKay

  “I love to dance. Though dancing alone is something that I don’t do. There will never be enough alcohol in the world for that to happen.”

  “Who said you would be dancing alone?” I feel his hand moving over to my hips and he begins to squeeze me gently as he pulls me back against his body. I can feel the warmth spreading out from his hand and feel tingles spreading to my core.

  I close my eyes as I try to fight against all of the sensations that are invading my body. All I can concentrate on is him. The heat of his body against my back. The warmth of his hand on my hip. His breath against the side of my neck, which is now causing goose bumps to appear all over my body.

  I love his smell. It’s fresh and clean, almost like the ocean but underlying there’s still a faint smell of the chlorine from the pool. It’s so uniquely him. I take another deep breath and let his scent invade my senses. It’s so unique that I feel as though I’m drowning in it. I crave to run my nose up his neck to feast on him some more.

  My eyes flash open when the reality sets in. I’m actually becoming really turned on by the smell of chlorine. Since when did I stop associating chlorine with negative thoughts? I’ve spent most of my life fearing the smell, and now I desire it? I need to move away from him. I need to get some space so I can clear my mind.

  I try to move away from his chest, but his hand moves from my hip and across my stomach, pulling me back some more and even closer to him. His hips begin to move in time with the music and I feel myself automatically melting into his arms. I can't seem to be able to pull myself away. I start to sway with him, letting him guide my movements, while resting my head back on his shoulder. He moves his nose down, nuzzling into the crook of my neck.

  My breathing becomes laboured and I can feel a drop of sweat running between my breasts as we continue to move. I begin to feel light headed and as much as I would like to blame the alcohol, I know that this time it isn't. It’s him. It’s all him. Being close to him like this is making my body react in a way that I never thought possible. I’ve never experienced feelings like this before, and I didn't know that it would ever be possible to feel this alive.

  His lips brush tenderly against my neck, causing a moan to leave involuntarily from my lips. I can't help it. All I can feel are warm tingles all over my body from the way his body is moulding with mine. I feel the muscles deep within my core beginning to tighten, and I know that it shouldn't be possible just from this very simple contact between us.

  I’m hoping the loud music is covering the uncontrollable noises that are now escaping from deep within me. I grind back into his body, getting carried away from the feel of his hard chest against me. He’s like steel, though he’s warm and comfortable. I can't seem to get close enough to him.

  I lean my head over to the side a little when I feel him brushing his nose over my skin. Doing this has given him access to my full throat and that’s when I feel his tongue beginning to lick the bottom edge of my ear. He pulls my lobe into his mouth and nibbles down gently before soothing it with his tongue. My body feels as though it’s about to spontaneously combust at any given moment. The need that’s raging through me right now is making me feel as though his actions are more than I can possibly handle. I reach my hand behind me and stroke my fingers leisurely through Rocco’s hair, but our connection is broken when he’s pushed from behind. I feel flustered, almost as though what just happened didn’t really happen and that I’m beginning to wake up from a dream. A very welcome dream.

  “You guys are looking very cosy over here.” Mason says, while raising his eyebrows at the two of us. This earns him a punch to the arm from Rocco. I’m debating whether I should give him one as well for interrupting the moment.

  “I’m just going to use the gents. I won't be long.” I watch Rocco as he walks away and notice that he’s shaking his head. I know that I haven’t been on the dating scene for a very long time, but I can’t imagine that his reaction is a good sign.

  I go back over and sit at our table. There’s a jug of iced water in the middle and I pour myself a glass. Mason has just tried to encourage me to have something stronger, but I know that I really need to stop drinking for the rest of the night. It’s messing with my self-control. The cold water is helping to cool my inner temperature, which is great considering that it needs to be drastically cooled.

  Rocco still hasn’t come back out from the gents and I’m starting to feel a bit weird about sitting here on my own. It’s not as though I know anyone so I can go and strike up a conversation while I wait for him to return. I sit and watch Mason as he talks with yet another woman. I think this one is number three of the night. I have a little giggle to myself when I think back to our earlier conversation, when Rocco honestly thought that it was Mason I was interested in.

  As I continue to watch, I see that they’re looking very cosy over there together. But then, he has looked that way with all of them so far. Yes. He is most definitely a player. I continue to watch Mason and see him reaching for his phone. He stares at the screen for a minute or so before looking over in my directions, and then proceeds to tap away at a few keys. After replacing his mobile phone back into his pocket, he walks over to me and leans close enough so I can hear him over the loud music that’s playing out.

  “Rocco’s gone home.”

  “What?” I’m pretty sure I must have heard him wrong. Rocco went to the toilet.

  “I just got a text from him. He said that something came up and he needed to leave. He asked me to get you home safe.”

  I can't believe that he left! I only came out tonight because of him. He’s the one who’d invited me to come out and have some fun, not the other way around.

  “Are you being serious? He just left without even saying goodbye?” Mason nods once at me. I stand abruptly and gather my purse and jacket, suddenly I don't feel so drunk anymore.

  I brush past Mason and begin to make my way across the dance floor. How could a great night go downhill so fast? I thought that we were all having fun, I know that I was.

  I exit the nightclub without really noticing and I’m so mad at Rocco. I feel stupid and let down. Why invite me out, dance with me like he did and then leave without even so much as a goodbye? He said he wouldn't leave me alone. He knew that Mason would leave us for someone. He promised that he’d stay with me!

  “God damn it, Makenzie! Would you slow down?” I turn to see Mason running down the street as he tries to catch up with me. It’s only at this point that I notice in my anger that I’ve walked past all the taxi cabs outside the club and I’m getting further away from any other signs of life.

  “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

  “I’m going home. I just need to go home and sleep.” I struggle to keep the sob that I feel at the back of my throat at bay. I don't want to look like an even bigger loser right now. Mason had seen us dancing together and saw what was happening between us. Then Rocco left. Mason must think that I’m the biggest loser ever, managing to chase him away like that.

  “Come back this way. I’ll get you a taxi and make sure you get home okay.” He gently places his hand on my arm and pulls me back towards the club. I’m thankful that he’d caught up with me before I ended up somewhere I didn't recognise. Mason opens the door to the first taxi in the line, just outside of the club and talks with the driver. He then removes his wallet from his back pocket and hands some money over.

  “Mason, I can pay my own way home.” I begin to protest.

  “Listen, Mackenzie. Rocco invited you out with us tonight and he would be upset to know that I hadn't seen that you got home safely. Just tell the driver where you need to go and then get yourself to bed.” He opens the door fully and steps back to allow me inside. I step towards the door of the taxi, and just before I bend to get into the seat, Mason touches me gently on the arm again. I turn to look at him and see the serious look washing over his face.

  “Don't judge him too hard, Makenzie.” I see the look of remorse crossing ove
r his face. I feel bad for him, especially since Rocco has left him to deal with this situation. A situation that isn’t his to deal with. I can feel tears beginning to burn in the back of my eyes. I can’t let them fall, not in front of Mason. I think he’s dealt with me enough tonight already.

  “He’s been through a lot in the last few years and he’s only now becoming the Rocco he used to be. Give him time. He really is an amazing guy once you get to know him properly. It’s just …” he sighs as he seems to be struggling to find the right words to say to me. “As I say, he’s been through a lot. I can't really say anymore because it’s not my story to tell. Just, just please give him the time he needs. I know he likes you and maybe that’s the problem. Ever since … shit! Look have a safe journey home and I really hope that we’ll see each other again.” He runs his hands through his hair while appearing increasingly agitated.

  I have no idea why and I don't know what story there is to tell, but I’m feeling more tired and the alcohol I drank earlier on in the evening is beginning to make things feel a little fuzzy again. I lean over and place a kiss on his cheek.

  “Thanks Mason. Go and enjoy the rest of your night, and don't do anything I wouldn't do.” That earns me a smile that lights up his eyes.

  “Oh, I plan on doing a lot more than that.” He raises his eyebrows suggestively a couple of times at me. With that thought now in my head, I lower myself onto the seat as he closes the door for me.

  I can't even begin to process everything that’s happened tonight, and I’m not even going to try to just now. I lean my head against the back of the seat and close my eyes, finally allowing the alcohol to take its full hold on me.

  Chapter Six

  Reaching my hand out from underneath my duvet, I desperately try to quiet the incessant ringing that’s sounding out from my alarm clock. It can't possibly be time to get up already?

  I grab the alarm and bring it closer to me, hoping that I maybe set it for the wrong time or something. Nope. No such luck. It’s telling me that it’s 4 o’clock, which means that it really is time to get myself out of bed.

  It has been over twenty-four hours since I last had a drink, so why is it that I’m still suffering from the after effects? I spent the entire day yesterday laying on the couch and trying not to move too much.

  Every time that I even tried to move, I honestly felt as though I was either going to bring up everything I hadn't eaten all day, or felt like my head was going to actually explode. I tried so hard not to think about a certain good-looking guy who had asked me out for the night. The same one who had then left me in the club, feeling like an idiot, because thoughts of him consuming my mind weren’t helping to soothe my headache.

  I have absolutely no idea what happened. I mean, one minute we were dancing and getting along, let’s just say very well, but then in the next I was left standing on my own, with only his best friend there to make sure that I got home safely.

  Mason had been great after I left the nightclub and he also text me when I left in the taxi to make sure that I got home okay. Then he messaged me again yesterday, so he could check on me and to make sure that I wasn't suffering too much. He told me that he hadn't managed to get a hold of Rocco because he wasn’t answering his phone. So, I’m still none the wiser as to why he just vanished at the end of the night or why it had ended the way it did. Though, I’m pretty sure that Mason knows the reason, he’s his best friend after all, but he tell me or give me any clues as to why.

  I throw the duvet cover away from my body and let out a groan. Maybe taking this job wasn't such a great idea. No. No, it was the drinking and going out with him at all that was the bad idea,

  Such a bad, bad idea!

  I climb in the shower and turn the water temperature up as high as it will possibly go. The muscles down through my neck and in my back begin to relax as the water splashes over me and I lean both of hands onto the wall, hanging my head down low.

  My thoughts soon start to drift and before I know it, images of dark eyes flashing into my mind begin to make my body spark to life. I groan out loud and shake my head. It would be nice if I could at least stop myself from thinking about Rocco for at least an hour out of my day. He doesn't want me. He’s made that perfectly clear both to me, and to almost everyone else who was in the club. It really must take a special kind of skill to be able to scare a guy off just by dancing up close with him. Maybe I should teach classes on it, make a little extra money.

  I start washing my hair, determined not to spend any more of my time dwelling on him and how much I must have repulsed him. It was only one night and nothing really happened between us anyway. There’s lots of guys out there, and I’m sure that I’ll find another guy that makes my body feel the way Rocco does eventually.

  Once I’m done in the shower, I dress in my uniform, tie my hair back, grab my trusty travel mug and make my way to work.

  I arrive in the building just a couple of minutes before my shift starts, so I don’t really have the time to check on the swimmers like I usually do in the morning. I head straight behind my desk and prepare myself, getting ready to start my shift for the day.

  I get caught up on the paperwork that Matt left for me on my desk. Apparently the weekend staff don’t do paperwork, and before I know it, I hear the door to the opening up and watch as the swimming team begin to leave.

  “Good morning, Makenzie.” Josh, a member of the swim team says cheerily. Josh seems like a nice guy. He has sandy blonde hair and an easy smile.

  “Hey, Josh. How are things?” I glance up at the clock, not believing that it’s time for them to leave already. I realise that I’m right. They’re finishing up fifteen minutes earlier than normally do. I know it doesn't seem a lot of time, but I judge my shift duties on the time they finish up their training and leave the building.

  “They’re good. Did you have a good weekend?” He stops just in front of the desk, resting his elbows on the top as he asks, while throwing me a smile.

  “Yeah, I did. I went out for the night on Saturday, so that was pretty great, and then on Sunday, well, Sunday wasn't as much fun!” I say while screwing up my nose, which shows him that that day sucked for me. This causes him to laugh lightly.

  “Aren't you guys finished up earlier than normal today? Is everything ok in the pool?” I begin to worry that maybe the pool was too cold or something. I lean over the computer to check the readings while I wait for him to answer me.

  “Yeah, everything’s fine. We finished up with the lanes a bit earlier because Rocco isn't here, that’s all. We all managed to get our own lane for a change.”

  Josh is oblivious to the fact that what he just told me, has my stomach churning and that he may have just broken my heart a little bit. I try really hard to hide the disappointment I’m feeling from knowing Rocco isn’t in the building. It’s one thing to leave the nightclub because of me, but to miss his practice is a really huge crush to the ego. Does he honestly want to avoid me this much that he’d miss training with the team?

  I need to stop this. It really is time for me to stop wasting my time and energy thinking about Rocco. If he hadn’t made it clear enough before, well then he certainly has now. I get it. He doesn’t like me. At least, not in the way I’d hoped.

  “Hey Makenzie, I‘ve been meaning to ask you something … I was wondering if you’d maybe like to get dinner one night, you know, just the two of us?” Josh is starting to appear slightly embarrassed as he asks me, though I’m actually finding it quite sweet. My first thought is to thank him but decline, but for some reason I stop myself before the words leave my mouth. Why would I say no? I’m single and new to the area, so why not go out with him and have a little fun in the process? He seems like a nice enough guy, and it’s not as though anyone else has asked me to go out on a date with them. Okay, so maybe they have, but I sent him running to the hills, didn’t I? Maybe this is just the boost of confidence my ego needs.

  “Sure, I’d like that. Thanks … So, when would you
like to go?”

  “How about this coming Friday? If you give me your number then I can message you the details once I get a table booked” I smile and reel of my mobile number and watch him as he puts it into his phone. He looks really excited. Less than a minute passes by and a new message comes through. It’s a text from him with a smiley face.

  “And, now you have mine.” he says with a smile as he walks backwards and out through the doors, waving before turning and going completely out from my view.

  I sit back in my seat with a smile beginning to cross over my lips. I’m actually quite looking forward to going out and having dinner with him. Okay, I’ll admit that my body doesn't react in quite the same to him as it does when I’m near or around Rocco, but that doesn't mean to say that this is a bad thing.

  Damn. I was so close to going a whole hour without thinking about him.

  Finishing up my shift, I leave the pool and make my way slowly towards the coffee shop. Grabbing coffee from there has become a part of my daily routine. I just can't resist their caramel mochas, though I’ve stopped getting the whipped cream added on it every time I order. I really don’t want to end up the size of a house. Today, though, definitely feels like a whipped cream kind of day. I smile inwardly to myself when I realise that I’ll use any excuse to add whipped cream on the top.

  Making my way inside the cafe, I look over the menu on the wall, just like I do every day, even though I know exactly what I’m going to order. I then approach the girl behind the counter and place my drink order. Is it just me or is she looking at me rather strangely?

  “Sorry, is your name Makenzie?” She asks. Her question has me feeling uncomfortable and I just stand and look at her questioningly. How on earth does she know my name?

  “I’m sorry, but do I know you?” She smiles at me as she begins to prepare my coffee. Putting the lid on the top, she pushes it over the counter towards me and smiles again.