Deserted

by L. M. McCleary

  The moon had sunk low in the sky when Kay came up to join me on the vista back home; I heard his aggravated sigh long before I saw him. He plopped down on the hard sand beside me and casually stretched his legs as I glanced over at him.

  “Rough day?” I asked.

  “Mom keeps pestering me about that Anna girl. She won’t stop pushing the issue and I’m getting pretty sick of it.” It wasn’t often that you heard Kay upset but when you did, you knew it immediately; his words were sharply enunciated and spat out with hatred.

  “Still playing matchmaker?” I had said it with surprise; I’ve been hearing about Anna for a few years now. Kay had grumbled in response. “She really doesn’t listen to you, does she?”

  “Not at all. Anna and I have nothing in common and I really can’t stand being around her anyway; her conversations are very…”

  “…one-sided?” I finished his sentence for him as he nodded.

  “If you’re not talking about her then you better not be talking at all, really.” He sighed. “I’m not sure what my mom is trying to pull.”

  “She just wants you to be happy, Kay.” I replied as I brought my legs up towards me so I could rest my arms on them.

  “If she truly did then she would leave me alone.” He grunted a hasty response.

  I wasn’t really sure what else to say at that point. I’m sure his mom assumed she was doing something good for him but he obviously was not interested; we’ve had this conversation before and it never changed. “Hrm,” I eventually replied, “well, you’re always welcome here.”

  “Yeah,” he let out a deep and long sigh, “thanks.” We sat in silence, watching the moon dip ever so slightly in the distance over the pale-lit dunes that lay quiet in the still night; no sandstorms out there yet. “I’m so tired of this place,” Kay said finally, “there’s gotta be something more out there.”

  I nodded as I readjusted my sitting position. “There has to be. This town can’t be everything.”

  Kay sighed. “But then why hasn’t anybody bothered to look? Maybe no one leaves for a reason.”

  “Of course they don’t. Why would they?” I shook my head. “Look at them, Kay. They live their lives through somebody else’s means. So long as we have a Provider, things will never change. Why bother searching the wasteland for answers or supplies when you could just do nothing all day and let someone else take care of you?”

  “Well…it’s not like we asked for a Provider.”

  “No, but we didn’t exactly decline it, either.”

  “What did you expect them to do? Starve to death instead of accepting help?” Kay shot me a sideways glance as he spoke.

  “It’s not ours to take, Kay.” I reiterated my standpoint, then sighed briefly. “Maybe they should have asked questions or offered something in exchange. Not just accept handouts.”

  “Maybe they did.” Kay mumbled. “I mean, it’s been what – sixteen-ish years since the Reckoning? The Provider was here long before we were.”

  “Not really.” I replied. “But even still, all you have to do is look around to know the truth. Nobody does anything. There’s no ambition here. They didn’t even try to form a search party...” My voice lowered and I decided to drop the topic. I didn’t want to talk about my dad.

  Kay slowly nodded. “I know.” His voice was soft as he spoke to me. “I thought that people were just too scared of the wasteland. With no way to defend ourselves out there, it would be a deathtrap. But…you may be right.”

  “They could have asked for weapons from the Provider. Tools. Gear. Hell, maybe even a map! Of all the things in the world to ask for, everyone requests fancy jewelry or nice clothes instead.”

  “You really think the Provider would have given us those things?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. But has anyone ever bothered to ask?”

  He nodded and smiled briefly. “You make a good point.”

  “I always make good points.” I grinned in response and it wasn’t long before we both started laughing. It had been a sour day for both of us and I was tired of feeling angry all the time. What good would complaining do? It wouldn’t change the way of the townspeople. It wouldn’t save my mother. It wouldn’t give me my father back. I could only change myself – and that’s what I planned to do.

  “I can’t live this way.” I said finally. “Everyone else can stay here in blissful ignorance if they want to, but I’m getting out of here someday. I can’t imagine doing nothing the rest of my life.” I had said it without really thinking. I just knew in my heart that I couldn’t stay here but the thought of actually leaving had never entered my thoughts before.

  Kay had stared hard at me as I stretched my legs out; I was finding the sand to become more and more uncomfortable as the night wore on. “So you’re serious, then?” He said after some thought.

  “Mhm.”

  “I know we talked about it before but I was never really sure that you meant it…” He started slowly, “but I can see it in your face more now than I ever did in daylight.” He had started to smile at me. “So let’s do it then. We will find…” he faltered momentarily, “…everything we’re looking for.”

  I know he wanted to mention my father but didn’t out of respect for my feelings. Dancing around the word didn’t exactly make me not think of him, though. “We will.” I returned a feeble smile to Kay, “nothing is going to stop us.”

  I had closed my eyes and envisioned that night; a night like many that Kay and I shared. I feel hopeful for tomorrow, now; Ponika and I will eat our fill in the morning and start our search again with a renewed vigor. For now, I’m going to close this out and finally sleep while memories of Kay are still fresh on my mind.

  Journal Entry #7,

  It’s been a few days since my last entry…and the last time we had shelter. The best Ponika and I could do were spotty naps here and there in the sand, but we were never comfortable enough to fully sleep. We often wandered through the night, and tonight was no different. I was dragging my lazy feet through mounds of sand as I left one comforting hand on Ponika’s back. He was exhausted – his slowed gait and drooping head was all I needed to know that I should get to walking and not burden him with my weight. I had found no place to stay tonight, like most others, and I hoped that I could press on until sunrise or shelter; whichever came first. My eyes were heavy and glossed over as I slogged wearily onwards – I so wanted to give up already…collapse into the soft sand and hope nothing would stumble upon my body. Having no protection from the blazing heat of the morning wouldn’t do me any favours, though. Still, the idea of tossing myself head-first into the sand was a tempting one, but always fleeting in the end. One foot would find its way in front of the other, without fail, seemingly unable to stop. Giving up – or giving in – never felt like an option.

  My head either hung low, barely registering my own footsteps, or swung wide to the sky, watching the stars – anything to keep the dull vision of nothingness around me from putting me to sleep. In a strange twist of thankfulness, a powerful odour had started to assault my nose, clearing the drowsiness I had struggled with all night. I scrunched my face up at its stench and looked wildly around me, pulling my bandana tighter against my face. Ponika, too, had smelt it as his pace lessened and he had raised his head.

  “What is that?” I suddenly found myself squinting my watery eyes at the strange aroma. It was acrid and burned every orifice, giving me a sudden urge to cough – as though that would fix anything.

  “Just like Salvation…” I had slowly started when something appeared on the horizon. Tears had streamed down my face as I blinked rapidly, trying to focus my vision.

  As we neared the shadowy obstruct ahead, Ponika faltered. His ears rotated rapidly and he now appeared just as alert as I was. It was a building up ahead; one that was once surrounded by a barbed-wire fence judging by the few strands that still poked up from the sands. My stomach churned slightly by the time we arrived at its broken gate but otherwise my discomf
ort level was rather minimal – much less than my similar encounter in Salvation. I drudged through the thick sand at the gate and made my way towards the large building’s lone, innocuous door until I realized that Ponika was no longer following me.

  I turned to look at him. “What!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up but my horse’s attention was on everything but me. The yelling hurt my throat – caused the acrid aura in the air to scorch my mouth as it entered through my parted lips. I would have to keep this brief.

  I knew what Ponika was thinking: anything that smelled this bad couldn’t be good. But what was I to do? Leave? What if Kay lay behind that door? Or my father, trapped somewhere inside? Perhaps a clue, at least…a hope to follow. I truly doubted I would be the only wanderer of the wasteland to find this place – surely there’d be something inside. I glanced briefly at the ground as I contemplated my options. “I have to!” I finally called towards my horse, hoping that he could understand that I wasn’t ignoring his warning signs.

  My throat now ached as I journeyed again towards the door. I pulled out my water bottle and took a few sips, then recoiled in surprise when the cool liquid caused my mouth to flame-up in a fiery pain. Instinctively I clasped my lips shut tight and gently tongued the sores around my gums. They felt raw – my whole throat did. If water didn’t help then there was only one thing I could do – make this quick. With my hand firmly planted on the doorknob, I glanced back at Ponika, who now watched me with a steady gaze. I silently wished him well – if anything should happen to me, I hoped that my horse would find safety. With a pull much stronger than necessary I whipped the door open and with my other hand wrapped around the hilt of my dagger I stepped inside the dark building, its door creaking shut behind me.

  Again – why didn’t I bring a lantern? Why was I so convinced that this would be a short and easy outing? Like both men would just be sitting outside the Meeting Place, waving me down with goofy smiles and everything would be hunky-dory. How could I be so inadequately prepared? I had always thought I was smarter than that.

  My first order of business was removing the blinds that hung haphazardly before the window on my left. They were crusted with dust and I stifled a cough as their yellow-stained pieces fell apart on their descent. The light of the moon seeped in and exposed the expanse of a corridor I had found myself in, causing me to yelp in surprise when I saw what lay at my feet.

  Bones – some still draped in the ragged coats that once clung to their skin. I felt an uneasy knot form in the pit of my stomach and my hand immediately grasped the door handle behind me. The urge to flee was powerful, but I stood my ground, releasing my grip as I tried to reassure myself. ‘It’s been twenty years since the Reckoning…of course people died. These bones are of no threat to you.’ I slowly made my way forward but a lingering thought nagged at me. Why did they die so close to the door?

  I removed more blinds as I made my way forward, revealing more bones and scraps of clothing along the hall. It wasn’t until I rounded the corner ahead that things started to change. A door lay open on my right, its frame busted and barely standing. The floor was littered with items next to an overturned box – lab coats, stationery and empty vials spilled from it. The inside of the room was too dark to see into but the awful odour from outside seemed to mingle inside the small space, causing a sour and rotted stench to waft in the air. Pulling my bandana even tighter around my face, I continued on down the hallway, glancing into the open rooms that revealed themselves suddenly in the darkness. They all appeared mostly the same - broken tables, shelves, scattered clothing – and the occasional cylindrical vial that lay shattered upon the floor. Every so often, though, the hallway would flicker in artificial light from the room next to it – an overhead light would dangle precariously from its few exposed and intact wires. Most of these lights appeared lifeless but sparks would suddenly jut outward, their sound and sight causing me to jump in surprise. The rooms only grew more rancid as the corridor continued, convincing me that there must not be anything worth salvaging in the rooms that opened up to me. There was no sign of life, either – past or otherwise, unless you counted the poor, yellowed skeletons that continued to litter the floor around me.

  Strangely, I found my arms becoming quite warm to the touch as I walked, and rather sore. I must have gotten sunburnt, although the skin that ached did not appear to be tanned in any way. The realization made me nervous, though I didn’t really know why. Something just…didn’t feel right about it. I quickened my pace.

  As I journeyed towards the end of this seemingly never-ending corridor, I noticed that the building wasn’t quite as large as I had assumed it to be from the outside. Most of the space was taken up by large storage rooms that I passed every so often; decrepit ones that glowed in a soft, pulsing green. I couldn’t put my finger on the hue, to realize just what it came from, but I knew it wasn’t something I wanted to be a part of; these rooms made me queasy and forced my hair to stand on end. I hurried past these doors, their filth inside lighting up briefly from the glowing object, casting elongated shadows towards my feet. I was growing steadily uneasy, and rightfully so. As I turned another corner in the hallway I came crashing into a large blockade of twisted metal and dirt. A slim shaft of moonlight escaped through a crack in the ceiling here, but I no longer needed it to see. Through gaps in the rubble another pulsating light greeted me – and then another. In fact, the entire other side of the building appeared to be aglow. I shielded my eyes as they started to sting incessantly and I backed up, feeling my stomach start to heave. I wanted out. Seeing an open, semi-lit room on my left, I decided to search for a closer exit.

  This room was much larger than the others, although not as deep. The floor was clear of debris and most objects on the tables were in their rightful positions. It almost appeared to be a large office or meeting room of sorts. Stray strands of light meandered through the boarded up window that encompassed the wall ahead and I followed their trail with my eyes until I noticed a large computer station that lay directly on my right. I stared at its wonder – monitors the size of the entire wall and keyboards of every shape and size scattered around the large system. As I took this all in, I started to realize that my nausea had faded slightly; I felt better in this room than the hallway.

  I made my way to the window and started to peel off the broken boards. They were sturdier than anticipated, but still came loose with enough force, bathing sections of the room in glorious moonlight. When the barricade was cleared, I glanced skyward towards the twinkling stars above. Fears seemed to wash away in the dark blue sky – like my problems were insignificant in comparison. A clear night like this one was fairly rare but always appreciated – even by my mother, who often sat with me as a child to watch the sparkling lights. A moment held few and far between.

  A reflection on the dirty glass brought me back to reality. A small, blinking light: red and very faint. It seemed to shine only once every few minutes, as I had strained my eyes trying to find its source behind me. And then, there – on the computer that lay hidden underneath the massive keyboard that stretched across the centre of the computer station. This beast was still alive?

  I rushed over to it, realizing that the light was attached to a small protruding button. Unsure of what else to do, I pressed it – famous last words, I’m sure. Suddenly the room was bathed in a radiant white light as the monitors roared into action. While the smaller screens swam with words and numbers I could make no sense of, the main, largest screen had a video open. While I had never used a computer myself, my father had had many self-help books on the subject and so I reached out to what I assumed to be the ‘mouse’ and I clicked the cursor on a triangular image on the screen. The room went suddenly black…and then the video started, encompassing every screen before me.

  It was this very room. Everything was a sparkling white, although the dim lighting made it difficult to see much else. But the window – the very one that now stood behind me – showed a world I had hoped still existed
somewhere. Large, prosperous trees waved in the wind, their vibrant leaves scuttling through the air as they occasionally fell. Birds chirped somewhere within the foliage and the tips of hedges were barely seen through the glass.

  Then the birds stopped.

  The very wind seemed hesitant…confused. Suddenly a swarm in the sky – birds fleeing their nests and joining others in some kind of hasty retreat. All was still and quiet…then, slowly, a leaf on the nearest tree started to curdle. It twisted and contorted on its branch until it fell free, its colour fading into a dark brown as it plummeted towards the earth.

  And then another.

  Soon the whole tree was withering, and those next to it. Dead leaves were everywhere and tree’s trunks bent and shrunk in agony – I had never known trees to behave in such a way. They eventually disappeared from view, as though they were swallowed up by the earth. Even the hedges were gone. The world outside was dark and the room within the video slowly started to shudder and shake, the video becoming choppy and discoloured until it stopped completely and the room was bathed in darkness once more.

  I barely had time to process this when the video hummed to life again. A young, handsome man was now on screen. He looked like a well-maintained individual: a clean shaven face and bright blond hair that was slicked back by some sort of gel. He had a bright smile and wore a pristine white coat – a lab jacket. He grinned at me through the screen.

  “Wasn’t sure she’d catch it all, but the video looks great,” he started, “took some work to get her running again after that shake but I managed.” There was a slight accent to his voice and his words were heavily enunciated. He suddenly cleared his throat and sat up straighter, attempting to look more professional. “My name is Tsvetan Krastanov,” the man started again and my heart dropped – I knew that name! I whipped my knapsack in front of me and rummaged through it as the scientist continued, “…and I have just recorded the effects of the Essence of Life.”