Love To Hate You

by Isabelle Richards

  “That sounds good. I know it’s a lot to take in. I’ll text you as soon as I have more information.” Butch disappears from the screen as she ends the call.

  I let my head fall into my hands. “I should have tried harder to stop her from leaving Aiden’s. I just let her walk out the door. I should have run after her. I should have gotten on the next plane to Munich. If I’d done anything but just sit there and watch her walk away, I could have prevented all of this.”

  “You don’t know that. She ran, Chase. Going after her could have made it much worse.”

  My head snaps up. “Is there worse than this? She’s a freaking junkie!”

  She picks up my bag. “We can sit here and wallow in doubt and blame, or we can get on a plane and get her. What’s it gonna be?”

  She’s right. I’m not doing Ari any good by sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I take the bag from her. “Let’s go.”

  On the way to the airport, we get at text that Ari is headed to Berlin. Charlie calls the pilot, and he promises we’ll be able to be wheels up in thirty minutes. After going through security, we find our plane and hand our bags to the flight crew. Boarding the plane, we see someone sitting in one of the seats, reading a Wall Street Journal.

  Charlie points at him. “Um, are we on the wrong plane? I wonder if Spencer booked a shared charter.”

  The paper folds down. “Nope, you’re on the right plane,” Spencer says with a smile.

  Charlie runs to him. “You’re here!” Collapsing into his arms, she bursts into the sobs I know she’s been holding in so she could be strong for me.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask. “I thought you had some client crisis.”

  “Fuck the client.” He squeezes her tighter. “This is where I need to be.”

  I’m so envious of them. The way they perfectly complement each other. Strength balancing out weakness, coming together to form one strong unit. Charlie can fall apart because she knows in her heart he’ll hold her up. The trust they have in each other is remarkable. No, it’s more than trust. It’s faith. Profound faith that they can face anything as long as they have each other. I want that. I crave it.

  Ari and I are nothing like them. While they’re perfectly opposite, Ari and I are symmetrical. We’re too much alike to balance each other out. All yin and no yang. But I do feel as though she’s the only person in the world who truly understands me, who I can be myself with, and being with her makes me feel whole.

  I used to think she felt the same way, but when things get tough, Ari doesn’t run to me like Charlie just ran to Spencer. She just runs. She doesn’t have faith in me. In us.

  I don’t know how to fix that. Especially now. Somewhere, beneath all the wounds of self-destruction, will Ari be the same person? I don’t want to believe that because we’re not a perfect match like Spencer and Charlie, Ari and I are destined to fail. Like a desperate fool, I cling to the last remaining embers of hope that somehow we’ll get through this.

  Charlie pulls away, and Spencer wipes her tears and says, “It’ll be okay. I promise. And I never break my promises.”

  “It’s so much worse than I expected,” she says.

  We give him the quick rundown.

  He holds her tight. “She’s alive. That’s what matters the most. Anything else can be fixed. I promise we’ll get her home, and in time, everything will be okay.”

  Charlie pulls away. “What if she doesn’t want to come home? What if this is the life she wants now?”

  Spencer brushes the hair out of her face then tucks it behind her ears. “I don’t think she knows what she wants right now. The best we can do for her is let her know how much we love her and let her know we want to be there for her. Ultimately, the choice will be hers.”

  Spencer’s words don’t give me hope. All I’ve ever done is let her know how much I love her and how much I want to be there for her, and she always ends up breaking my heart.

  The flight attendant closes the door. “If you would please take your seats and fasten your seat belts, we’re a few moments from takeoff. Your flight to Berlin will be approximately twelve and half hours.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chase

  I kept thinking, I just have to find her. Once I find her everything will be all right. But I was a moron. Finding her was only half the battle. Now I have to face her. What will I say? What will she say to me? Am I prepared for the hate she’ll throw at me? I know it’s coming. After going so far down this spiral, she’s going to need someone to blame, and who better than me? She’s probably been rehearsing it. A carefully constructed statement designed to eviscerate me with every word. Crafted with the sole intent of drawing the most blood. I’ll be able to blame some of it on the drugs but not all of it. We had a small taste of the love, so now it’s my turn to take a big heaping spoonful of her hate. It’s how we work.

  It’s early evening when we land in Berlin. The private terminal isn’t very crowded, and we clear customs quickly. Butch is waiting for us on the other side of security. She’s shorter than I was expecting—five four if she’s lucky. She’s thin, but I’m guessing by her stature she’s all muscle. To be in her line of work, she’d have to be. She’s attractive but not so much that she would stand out in a crowd. Pretty enough to use her looks to get what she wants but common enough to disappear into the fold after.

  “Willkommen in Deutschland,” she says. “I have a car waiting for us outside.”

  It’s bitter cold, probably below freezing. A wall of biting wind hits us the moment we step outside.

  Charlie pulls her heavy jacket out of her bag. “It’s a good thing I packed for all climates,” she says as Spencer helps her into her coat.

  “The cold works for us,” Butch says. “In places like southern Spain, where the weather was more temperate, parties become migratory. But when it’s cold, people stay in one place. It’s much easier to track people this way.” She points at a large SUV. “We’re over there.”

  As we approach the SUV, a bald guy who’s big enough to be a WWE wrestler or maybe a heavyweight boxer hops out of the driver’s door and runs to meet us. “Let me grab those bags for you.” He reaches for Charlie’s bag and extends his hand to her. “Vic Fields. Pleasure to meet you. I’m a member of Butch’s team.”

  Butch opens the trunk door. “He’s the muscle I told you about. If I can’t flirt my way in, he can intimidate his way in. We make a good team.”

  Vic places all our bags in the back, then we pile into the SUV. The airport is outside of town, so we have a drive before we get to the hotel.

  Butch sits in the backseat with us and gets right down to business. “Thankfully criminals are creatures of habit. They rented a house in a swanky neighborhood right downtown. I have two guys staked out there now. They’ll give me a holler as soon as they see movement.” She hands me an iPad with a map of Berlin. “The star is where the house is. The red dot is where we think they’re going tonight: Berghain, one of the most exclusive clubs in Berlin. It’s tough to get in, which is like catnip to this crew. Access to the club will be harder than ever tonight. Some DJ named Kaaos is playing. He’s a Finnish DJ that all the kids are screaming about. We suspect that’s what brought them to Berlin in the first place.”

  “So what’s the plan?” I ask.

  “As soon as my guys give us confirmation that they’re going to Berghain, we’ll head down there,” Butch explains. “I’ve already secured our entrance. I’ll do my best to worm my way into their group and convince her to take a little trip to the ladies’ with me. One of two things can happen. Either I can get her to come to the car with me, or you can pop out and try to convince her to leave with you. Both have risks. It’s your call which direction we go.”

  If Ari’s pissed at me, then seeing me might make things worse.

  I’m about to say as much when Charlie speaks up. “What if Spencer and I do it? We can make up a story that he’s in town for work and I tagged along, and when I heard about this
club, I insisted we check it out. Last time we talked, Ari was only mad at Chase, not me. I should have no problem getting her out of there or even to our hotel without arousing her suspicions.”

  “That would work,” Butch replies. “Mr. Brennan, are you comfortable with this plan?”

  I tap my fingers on the armrest. “Are these guys dangerous? If these guys see Ari as their cash cow, they might not take too kindly to us taking her away. I don’t want Charlie getting mixed up in this if her safety is at risk.”

  “I was just thinking the same thing,” Spencer says. “I could do this alone. Ari and I have a good relationship completely independent from Charlie. When she was living abroad and our paths crossed, we’d always get together. It wouldn’t be out of character for me to run into her and suggest we hang out. Plus, if they’ve done their homework, they’ll know she and I are friends and I have just the type of deep pockets they’re interested in. They may welcome me with open arms in hopes that they’ve found their next payday.”

  Butch shakes her head. “I don’t think we have to worry about a physical reaction. These boys are too pretty to ever get their hands dirty. Violence might mess up their hair.”

  Vic raises his hand. “I’ll be there should anything get hairy, but I agree with Butch. I don’t see them putting up a fight. The only one we might have trouble convincing is Arianna. Cokeheads can put up a fight when you try to separate them from the stash.”

  “Do you really think she’s that far gone?” Charlie asks.

  Butch faces Charlie. “I haven’t observed her long enough to form an opinion on that one way or the other. Everyone tolerates drugs differently. From the little I’ve seen, they’re giving her copious amounts of a variety of drugs, but how addicted she is is something we won’t know until we pull her out of there and see how she does as she detoxes.” Butch opens her satchel, pulls out a folder, and hands me a piece of paper. “Speaking of detoxing, I’ve pulled a few strings and have enlisted the help of Dr. Sacha Gerber. She’s a physiatrist that specializes in drug rehabilitation, particularly those who need to their issues kept out of the public eye. CEOs, government officials, royalty. People who, if word of their addictions came to light, could cause great economic or social impact. She doesn’t usually take celebrities, but when I explained the situation, she offered to act as a consultant. From what I understand, she had a patient that was another one of Sven’s victims, who committed suicide.”

  Covering her mouth, Charlie gasps. “Oh God.”

  “Sven and his crew just decimated that poor guy. Financially, emotionally,” Butch replies with sadness in her voice. “I think his death hit Dr. Gerber hard and that’s why she’s offered to help. Once we have Arianna, we’ll bring her to Dr. Gerber’s for assessment. It’s possible Arianna may be fine, or she may need intensive treatment to help her wane the dependency. Everyone metabolizes drugs differently. I’ve known people that get addicted from one line, and others that can blow lines every day for a decade and walk away without breaking a sweat. Everyone is different. We won’t know what kind of shape she’s in until we see her.”

  I scan the doctor’s credentials, but the words don’t register. My brain is still stuck on the concept of Ari in rehab. The thought alone is barely comprehendible. She always had such disdain for addicts, especially those who have everything going for them. Actors, athletes, successful businessmen and women. Talented people who are lucky enough to have the world at their fingertips but throw it away for a high so fleeting it’s over almost as quickly as it began. Why carry around a permanent burden for such a temporary feeling? Never in a million years would I have predicted I’d be talking about rehab for her.

  I’m less worried about the physical or even emotional dependence than I am about how she’ll feel about herself when the cocaine haze clears. She’s evolved into something she used to hate, and I don’t know how she’ll live with that. Will she forgive herself, or has this experience changed her so dramatically that she won’t care?

  Charlie softly sobs on Spencer’s shoulder, so I reach back and squeeze her hand. “She’ll be okay. She’s Ari. She’s too damn stubborn to let something like cocaine stop her. We’ll get her help, and she’s going to be fine.” I turn to Butch. “If you think Charlie will be safe, let’s do it. But I’m going to be there. I’ll hide in a corner somewhere. I won’t let her see me, but I have to be there.”

  She nods. “All right then. By the time I get done with you, she won’t be able to recognize you.” She winks. “Hope you don’t have a thing against skinny jeans.”

  Vic pulls up to a high rise then parks in a reserved space in the parking garage.

  “Is this our hotel?” Spencer asks. “I was going to suggest the Hotel De Rome. That’s where I always stay when I come here.”

  “This is Dr. Gerber’s facility,” Butch replies. “She’s letting us stay in one of her detox suites. It’s soundproof, all the bedroom doors have key locks from the outside, and there’s no phone or internet. A guard in the lobby requires an ID check to gain elevator access, so there’s no chance of dealers sneaking in. You’ll see the rooms are sparsely decorated—the fewer things to break, the better. It will have everything necessary to support Arianna in whatever state of dependency she is.”

  Spencer and I help Vic with the bags, then we enter the lobby. Butch wasn’t kidding. The guards at the door check each of our IDs, looking critically at each one to make sure it’s real before buzzing us through the double doors that I’m pretty sure are made of bulletproof glass.

  “This is a high security building,” Butch explains as we wait for the elevator. “Quite a few celebrities, diplomats, and government officials live here. The top six floors are owned by Dr. Gerber and her husband, Dr. Kohl. He’s a plastic surgeon, the kind people go to to get just enough work to keep them looking young without being obvious.”

  The detox suite is as sparse as Butch described. It has a breathtaking view of the city, but other than a few sofas, beds, and a kitchen table, all of which have been bolted to the floor, it’s practically empty.

  “There are three bedrooms in here. Presuming Arianna is in a non-combative state, she’ll stay in this suite with the three of you. If she’s not cooperative, you won’t be able to stay with her. Vic and I will be in a suite down the hall if you need anything.” Butch sits next to Charlie on the sofa. “You look like some fresh air could serve you well. Would you like to go club attire shopping? If we’re going to pull this off, we need to make sure you guys look the part.”

  Charlie smiles. “I think a little retail therapy would be good for my nerves right about now.”

  Spencer kisses her forehead. “Therapize away. But nothing too crazy for me, okay? I don’t think I can pull off the Eurotrash look.”

  “That goes ditto for me,” I reply.

  While they’re gone, Spencer attempts to get work done as I pace and slowly go insane.

  He looks up from his laptop. “Dude, you need to calm down. The poor people below us are going to come up here and beat you.”

  “It’s soundproof, remember?” I snap.

  Clearly annoyed, he sets his jaw. “Fine. I’m going to beat you if you don’t settle the fuck down.”

  I run my fingers through my hair. “I can’t sit still. Knowing she’s only a few blocks away and I can’t do anything about it is making me nuts.”

  He closes his laptop. “I know, but you hired these people because they’re good at what they do. Listen to them. Thankfully, we don’t have any experience with this kind of shit. We’re all out of our depth. You need to trust them and follow the plan.”

  “Easier said than done, man. You get to at least talk to her.”

  “And I’ll get her out of there. You know I will,” he promises.

  Ari and Spence have a great relationship. She’s always trusted and respected him. If anyone can do this, it’s him.

  Three hours later, we’re dressed and ready to go. Butch tried to get me to wear guyliner with my skin
ny jeans, pseudo-ironic T-shirt, and leather jacket she and Charlie picked out for me, but I drew the line. I seriously doubt anyone will recognize me here, and I should have no problem blending into the crowd without makeup.

  Vic hands out ear buds and mics so we can all communicate in the club. The whole thing feels like something out of a spy movie.

  “Is this really all necessary?” I ask as I fiddle with the ear bud, trying to make it comfortable.

  “It might be overkill,” Butch replies as she works on hiding Charlie’s mic. “Like I said, I don’t expect a physical reaction from anyone, but it’s always better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.” Checking Charlie over once more, she says, “You’re good to go. Should we go over the plan one more time?”

  Charlie takes a deep breath. “You know Spencer through work, and you and Vic are showing us around town. I find Ari and act surprised to see her. After a little while, I complain that it’s so loud I can’t hear her. Ask if we can get out of there and go back to my hotel. You’ll have a car waiting in the back.”

  “Don’t rush it though,” Butch replies. “Like Vic said, she might not want to leave the endless supply of coke. You have to read the situation. I’ll be listening, and I’ll do my best to help you. If she refuses to leave, see if she’ll go to the bathroom with you. While you’re waiting in line, because trust me, there will be a line, complain of overheating. There’s a back exit right there. Try to get her to come outside with you. The car will be waiting.”

  Looking in the mirror, Charlie fiddles with her hair, making sure the ear buds can’t be seen. “Is anyone else weirded out that we’re plotting how to kidnap my best friend?”

  After knocking on the door, Vic pokes his head in. “They’ve been spotted at the club in the VIP section. We should go.”