by Lisa Becker
From: Renee Greene – April 5, 2011 – 9:32 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Miss You!
You are wicked, wicked, wicked. And, I love it.
From: Renee Greene – April 9, 2011 – 9:02 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: This is IT!
Tonight is THE night. This is it! I don’t know what makes me more excited. The fact that I’m going to sleep with Matt or that I’m going to end my year+ long affair with celibacy. It’s been so long, I hope I remember what to do. Yes, yes, I know. It’s like riding a bicycle. Let’s just say that from what I remember, it was A LOT more fun than riding a bike.
We’re having dinner at La Croquette (tres romantic) and then I’m going to ask him back up to my place. Hurrah! And, I got my legs and bikini waxed and am wearing sexy underwear. Nothing’s gonna stop me now. I’m telling you, Shelley, this could be L-O-V-E.
From: Shelley Manning – April 9, 2011 – 10:16 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: This is IT!
L-O-V-E or L-U-S-T? My goodness. I’ve known you since college and I’ve never known you to sound like such a tiger. Can’t wait to hear all of the juicy details. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Renee Greene – April 10, 2011 – 3:03 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Wow! WOW! WOW!!!
Wow! I forgot how great sex could be. It had been entirely too long. He is PER-FECT. I’m telling you, this man is it. He has everything I’ve been looking for in a man. I need to buy Mark a gift to thank him for forcing me into this whole Internet dating thing and bringing this PER-FECT man into my life. God bless Mark.
From: Shelley Manning – April 10, 2011 – 12:26 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Wow! WOW! WOW!!!
God bless Finlay? Have you gone mad? I think a gift is a great idea. Perhaps a good lay…or a new set of coasters…or a pair of pliers to get the stick out of his ass…
From: Renee Greene – April 10, 2011 – 12:32 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Wow! WOW! WOW!!!
Did I ever mention that you are wicked? I was thinking more along the lines of tickets to a concert or a game. I think he would enjoy something like that. I’ll get on the web and figure it out.
From: Shelley Manning – April 10, 2011 – 12:41 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Wow! WOW! WOW!!!
Thank you for not reminding me that I hooked up with him.
From: Renee Greene – April 10, 2011 – 12:42 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Wow! WOW! WOW!!!
I’d pretty much forgotten, until now since you reminded me. Thanks. Will do my best to keep that little factoid in my back pocket for future mocking.
From: Shelley Manning – April 10, 2011 – 12:44 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Wow! WOW! WOW!!!
Super! Wish I could forget. Sadly, although I have no memory of that incident, the scars are still forever with me.
From: Renee Greene – April 10, 2011 – 3:35 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Should I be worried?
Okay, it’s been a day and Matt hasn’t called. What do you think that means? Is that a bad sign?
From: Shelley Manning – April 10, 2011 – 5:26 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
A day. Sweetie. Be realistic. Maybe he had to suddenly go out of town on business. Maybe he’s working late. Maybe he isn’t feeling well. It’s only been a day. Way too early to start panicking.
From: Renee Greene – April 10, 2011 – 5:28 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Maybe I’ll call him.
From: Renee Greene – April 10, 2011 – 5:34 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Okay, just left him a message and told him that I had such a great time the other night and I can’t wait to see him again. Told him to call me.
From: Renee Greene – April 10, 2011 – 5:39 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Guy’s Perspective
Hi Mark. Hope the project is going well. I know you are super busy writing code. And, maybe that’s why you didn’t answer the phone. But I need a guy’s perspective on something. So, everything with Matt was going great. We talked on the phone ALL the time. He made these beautiful, sweeping romantic gestures and wrote/said the most beautiful things to me. And then, all of the sudden, he hasn’t called or emailed at all. What could that mean?
From: Mark Finlay – April 11, 2011 – 1:13 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Guy’s Perspective
Sorry. Just coming up for air. Major deadline looming. Give it another day or two. Maybe he’s just busy with work like me.
From: Renee Greene – April 11, 2011 – 8:02 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Guy’s Perspective
Thanks. I was starting to panic a bit. But, you’re right. He might be under a major deadline or something. Good luck meeting your deadline.
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 9:02 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Should I be worried?
Okay, it’s been three days and he hasn’t returned my call. Maybe there is something wrong with his machine. I’ll email.
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 9:07 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: A little worried
Hi Matt. Hope you are okay. It’s been a few days since we talked and I was getting a little worried. I also left a message for you on your answering machine. Figure you just didn’t get it. Anyway, give me a call because I’m excited for us to go out again.
From: [email protected] – April 13, 2011 – 12:36 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: A little worried
Hey Renee. Yeah, I got your message. I’ve just been really busy. You know, I think you’re a great gal. But, I’m just really not ready for a relationship. I’m really looking to focus my energies on work. Maybe in a few months things will be different and I’ll be able to be involved. But, for right now, I think this just isn’t going to work.
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 12:53 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Fwd: Re: A little worried
Bastard! Why did I think dating in the online world would be any different than dating in the regular world. Men suck. I feel like such an idiot.
What is wrong with me? Why doesn’t anyone want to be with me? I know I’ve only known him for a few weeks and it seems like Derrick and I were together forever, but it hurts just as badly. And don’t give me that bullshit about it making me stronger and that we learn something from every relationship. What I’ve learned is that a charming, handsome and smart man slept with me and then decided he didn’t want to go out with me anymore. I don’t know how that is supposed to make me anything but depressed.
I just don’t understand. Why would he spend weeks telling me how much he liked me and how much fun he was having? Okay, well, it’s obvious now. He was just trying to get me in the sack. So, that begs the question…do I just absolutely suck in bed or is he just a serial dumper?
And why was I such a sucker? Why did I fall for all his smooth lines and obvious false romanticism?
I’m sitting in my office – thank goodness I’m not in an open cubicle – and I can’t stop crying. I think I’m going home to take a sick day.
From: Shelley Manning – April 13, 2011 – 1:15 PM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
Oh sweetie. I’m so sorry. He is truly the scum of the earth. You should call that prick and tell him exactly what you think of him. Better yet,
I’ll call him and tell him what an asshole he is.
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 1:22 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
Thank you for not saying I told you so. I know you were trying to tell me not to get my hopes up and I wasn’t listening. I should have.
From: Shelley Manning – April 13, 2011 – 1:31 PM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
I’m not worried about being right. I’m worried about you. So, are you going to call him?
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 1:33 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
I don’t think I could stand to hear his voice. I just can’t believe this. I just can’t.
From: Shelley Manning – April 13, 2011 – 1:36 PM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
Well, you’re going to say something. At least send him a scathing email to tell him how horrid he has been.
From: Mark Finlay – April 13, 2011 – 2:25 PM
To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: A little worried
Oh Renee. I’m so sorry. The guy sounds like a total jerk. You deserve so much better. But, we’re not all like this ass or Derrick. There are good guys out there.
From: Renee Greene – April 13, 2011 – 11:56 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Rough Draft
Matt: I didn’t think I would have the nerve to say this to your face or on the phone. Luckily we started this whole thing on email and you cowardly tried to end it that way too. So, I think it’s fitting my final reply to you comes via email as well.
I don’t understand why you spent weeks romancing me only to sleep with me and abruptly end things. I don’t understand how you say things like “The sun should always shine on you so that your smile will last forever” and then overnight decide that work is more important than a relationship.
I deserve better. I deserve someone who is truthful with their feelings and honest in communicating their emotions. At the same time, I deserve someone who holds back on their feelings until it is appropriate to express them, so that they aren’t leading me on. I also deserve what I thought you were…someone who is charming, smart, romantic, caring, thoughtful and honest.
From: Shelley Manning – April 14, 2011 – 8:53 AM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
All I can say is GOOD FOR YOU. I can tell you put a lot of thought, emotion and your fair share of tears into this. Hopefully you feel a bit better. I’m so impressed and think you should send it right away. Would LOVE to know if you get a response.
From: Mark Finlay – April 14, 2011 – 9:16 AM
To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Wow! I would not want to be on the receiving end of that message. Well done, Renee. Well done.
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 10:02 AM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
I do feel a little better. I think it is really cathartic to be able to put pen to paper – or in this case, fingers to keyboard – and really be able to articulate what you’re feeling.
I think if I had to do this in person, or over the phone, I’d be more of a wreck than I was writing and rewriting this until it was perfect.
From: Shelley Manning – April 14, 2011 – 10:07 AM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Well, I think it’s fantastic. Heart felt, yet dignified. He deserves far worse. But, knowing you, you don’t want to be too cruel.
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 10:12 AM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Thanks. I didn’t want to have this come across as the rantings of someone dumped. I wanted him to realize that his actions were cruel and unfair.
From: Shelley Manning – April 14, 2011 – 10:23 AM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Well, I think you did just that. Again, would LOVE to know if he emails you back or calls. Keep me posted. And put that profile back online. A man who really is all of those things is out there waiting for you. Speaking of which, whatever happened to Dudley Do Right?
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 10:25 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
He never emailed me back.
From: Shelley Manning – April 14, 2011 – 10:27 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Oooh, ouch! So sorry, sweetie. Well, certainly his loss. You are clearly too good for him too.
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 10:32 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Do you really believe that stuff? Clearly if I was too good for these guys, I’d be the one giving them the brush off.
From: Shelley Manning – April 14, 2011 – 10:34 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Well, I think you’re too good for me. Feel better?
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 10:36 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
A little. ;) Thanks!
From: Mark Finlay – April 14, 2011 – 12:02 PM
To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
Don’t fall over, but I agree 100% with Shelley.
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 12:07 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Rough Draft
That was just the laugh I needed. Thanks guys. You’re the best. Okay, back online (RELUCTANTLY), I go. But, I’m in a fragile state. I think cocktails at Flint’s may make me feel better. I’ll call you later to make plans. Love you!
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 12:16 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: The Way it SHOULD Be
Matt: I didn’t think I would have the nerve to say this to your face or on the phone. Luckily we started this whole thing on email and you cowardly tried to end it that way too. So, I think it’s fitting my final reply to you comes via email as well.
I don’t understand why you spent weeks romancing me only to sleep with me and abruptly end things. I don’t understand how you say things like “The sun should always shine on you so that your smile will last forever” and then overnight decide that work is more important than a relationship.
I deserve better. I deserve someone who is truthful with their feelings and honest in communicating their emotions. At the same time, I deserve someone who holds back on their feelings until it is appropriate to express them, so that they aren’t leading me on. I also deserve what I thought you were…someone who is charming, smart, romantic, caring, thoughtful and honest.
From: Renee Greene – April 14, 2011 – 12:18 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: My Profile
I am writing to request that you please place my profile back online. My ID# is 49628; Screen Name: PRGal1981.
From: [email protected] – April 14, 2011 – 12:20 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My Profile
Profile has been reinstated.
Chapter 5 – Dating Purgatory
From: Renee Greene– April 17, 2011 – 2:30 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: One more try
Couldn’t sleep, so I logged onto Choose Jews and was scrolling through the eligible bachelors last night and came across another i
nteresting profile. He seems really cool. I pasted an excerpt below. I drive a hybrid and always use an aluminum water bottle. So, I’m going to give it one more proactive try. I’ll keep you posted.
So, you might be wondering why I picked the screen name EarthMan. No, I’m not an alien trying to blend in with you humans. Wouldn’t that be something?! No, I work for the Parks Service on public education campaigns about recycling and composting. I’m pretty passionate about the importance of protecting the earth and have tried to integrate some of the best practices I’ve learned on the job into my daily life. I’m hoping to find someone with a similar dedication.
From: [email protected]/PRGal1981 – April 17 – 9:33 AM
To: [email protected]/EarthMan2011
Subject: Hi
Hi there EarthMan. I saw your profile and thought you seemed like a really interesting, smart and fun person. I was hoping you would check out my profile and then perhaps we can meet. I’ll bring my hybrid! ;)
From: Shelley Manning– April 17 – 10:18 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One more try
Please tell me you didn’t email him right after emailing me. No offense, sweetie, but nothing smacks more of desperation than getting an email from a girl at 2:30 am.
From: Renee Greene – April 17, 2011 – 11:32 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: One more try
No. I didn’t email him at 2:30 am. Who am I, Tiffany? No, I waited until 9:33 am to be exact.
From: Shelley Manning – April 17, 2011 – 11:56 AM