by Lisa Becker
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One more try
Good girl. Yes, he seems very cool and cute. I will send good positive vibes your way for this one. Mwah! Mwah!
From: [email protected]/EarthMan2011 – April 18, 2011 – 4:42 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: Re: Hi
You drive a hybrid? Then I’m in. Seriously, I read your profile and love your sense of humor. Let’s meet. Do you know the “O” in Venice? Maybe we could try for brunch on Sunday around 11? Oh, and my real name is Danny.
From: [email protected]/PRGal1981 – April 18, 2011 – 6:02 PM
To: [email protected]/EarthMan2011
Subject: Re: Hi
Hi Danny. I’m Renee. I’m not familiar with the “O” but love trying new places. I’ll meet you there on Sunday at 11:00. Have a good week.
From: [email protected]/ChefChad – April 19, 2011 – 11:18 AM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject:
Looked @ ur profile & u seem like a gr8 MOT. I M A chef so like 2 cook What's ur #?
From: [email protected]/ PRGal1981 – April 19, 2011 – 1:45 PM
To: [email protected]/ChefChad
Subject: Re:
Hi there. It's not too often I meet a guy who likes to cook as much as I do, but I guess when you are a chef there's a big incentive (read: paycheck) to spend time in the kitchen. Where do you work? Where did you train? What do you focus on?
From: [email protected]/ChefChad – April 19, 2011 – 2:02 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: Re:
LOL! M4C? I'll share my kitchen secrets w/ u. *$ Sat?
From: [email protected]/ PRGal1981 – April 19, 2011 – 3:12 PM
To: [email protected]/ChefChad
Subject: Re:
Kitchen secrets? I’m sold! What does Saturday late morning look like for you? Would you want to meet around 10:00 at the Coffee Shack in Brentwood?
From: [email protected]/ChefChad – April 19, 2011 – 4:18 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: Re:
Work till 2, 11?
From: [email protected]/ PRGal1981 – April 19, 2011 – 5:02 PM
To: [email protected]/ChefChad
Subject: Re:
Of course. I forgot that Friday is probably a super busy night. I imagine the social life of a chef must be rough with all of the late night hours and working weekend. 11:00 is great. See you then.
From: [email protected]/ChefChad – April 19, 2011 – 5:05 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: Re:
TTYL
From: Renee Greene – April 19, 2011 – 5:15 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Kitchen Secrets
Hi guys. Well, I’m back online and have met a chef who wants to share his kitchen secrets with me and a guy who works for the parks department. We’re meeting Saturday at 11:00 at Coffee Shack/Sunday at a restaurant in West Hollywood respectively. I’ll call you both when I get home.
From: Shelley Manning – April 19, 2011 – 6:22 PM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Kitchen Secrets
Kitchen secrets? Is that code for something sexual I’m unaware of? Hope so for your sake. Have fun!
From: Mark Finlay – April 19, 2011 – 9:26 PM
To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Kitchen Secrets
A chef? Perfect for you. Happy to be the recipient of these new kitchen secrets, as long as it’s not code for something sexual. LOL! No offense or anything. It’s just that you’re like a sister to me.
From: [email protected]/FunDays222 – April 20, 2011 – 8:03 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: No such thing as bad PR?
Hi PR Gal. I take it you work in PR, no? I know what you’re thinking. This guy is so intuitive. Yes, it’s true. I pride myself on seeing between the lines. ;) I liked your profile, so check mine out and let me know if you want to chat?
From: [email protected]/ PRGal1981 – April 21, 2011 – 9:56 AM
To: [email protected]/FunDays222
Subject: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Hi Barry. Thanks for your email. I must say, you certainly did figure me out right away. You must be really smart. ;) So, here are a few other things for you to think about…
- Who is your favorite Brady?
- If Bionic Woman and Wonder Woman got in a fight, who would win?
- What is the last book you read or are currently reading?
- Aside from what’s in your profile, what else do you like to do?
Looking forward to hearing back from you.
From: [email protected]/FunDays222 – April 21, 2011 – 11:16 AM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Well, PR Gal. I certainly like the way you think. Your questions are awesome. Here are some answers…
My favorite Brady is Jan. I’m the middle child with an older sister and brother and two younger sisters. Yes, five kids.
My parents certainly were busy. Sadly, my older sister and one of my younger sisters live in DC and Chicago so we don’t see each other that often. But, my brother and other younger sister are local, so we hang out a lot.
Not just a girl fight, but a super girl fight. Love it! This is a hard one. I’ve watched my share of MMA (mixed martial arts, for the uninitiated) and I gotta say, this would be too close to call. I’m not much of a gambler, so I wouldn’t feel comfortable placing a bet on either of these ladies against the other.
Currently reading? Sad to say that I don’t have much time to read. Between work, working out and just taking care of daily life, reading seems to have fallen by the wayside. Hope that doesn’t knock me out of contention for a date with you.
Other interests, huh? Well, to be perfectly frank, I like to have sex…a lot. Hope to hear back from you.
From: Renee Greene – April 21, 2011 – 12:17 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Oh my! Not sure what to make of this. Does this mean he likes to have a lot of sex or likes to have sex often? How am I supposed to respond?
From: Shelley Manning – April 21, 2011 – 12:19 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Ask him! Would love to see his response?
From: Renee Greene – April 21, 2011 – 12:31 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
So what do you think of this…
Well, that certainly is a lot to share. So, um, about that last point. Does that mean you like to have a lot of sex, or you like to have sex often?
From: Shelley Manning – April 21, 2011 – 12:33 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Got for it. It’s all anonymous, right?
From: [email protected]/PRGal1981 – April 21, 2011 – 12:41 PM
To: [email protected]/FunDays222
Bcc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Well, that certainly is a lot to share. So, um, about that last point. Does that mean you like to have a lot of sex, or you like to have sex often?
From: [email protected]/FunDays222 – April 21, 2011 – 3:09 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Bcc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
I like to have a lot of sex…often. So, wanna have a drink?
From: Renee Greene – April 21, 2011 – 3:14 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Ew! See below. Should I just ignore it?
/> From: Shelley Manning – April 21, 2011 – 3:26 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
I got bcc’d on his response. Hilarious! I think you should go out with him. He sounds fun.
From: Renee Greene – April 21, 2011 – 3:28 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Maybe I should just give him your number. ;) From cuddler to nymphomaniac, right?
From: [email protected]/ChefChad – April 22, 2011 – 4:30 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Subject: CYT
From: Renee Greene – April 22, 2011 – 4:39 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Fwd: CYT
Huh? What does CYT mean?
From: Shelley Manning – April 22, 2011 – 4:41 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: CYT
No clue. Let me know when you figure it out. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Renee Greene – April 22, 2011 – 5:56 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: CYT
“See you tomorrow.” Who knew?
From: Shelley Manning – April 22, 2011 – 6:25 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: CYT
Have fun and call me or email when you’re back. I’ve got another date with a guy who we shall refer to as the Human Vacuum. He sort of sucks your tongue in when he’s kissing you. I’m not a fan of the technique, but I’m willing to see what other techniques he’s got lurking in that beautiful bod of his. TTYL as your date tomorrow would say. ;)
From: Renee Greene – April 23, 2011 – 2:28 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Not Gr8!
Ugh! Chad is a serial texter. I need a frickin’ translator to decipher his emails.
He must have gotten and responded to a dozen - and though I'm prone to exaggeration when it comes to complaining about my dismal love life, I'm likely underestimating here – a dozen texts during our date. He even snapped a picture of me and posted it on his Facebook page right then and there.
From: Shelley Manning – April 23, 2011 – 11:32 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Not Gr8!
R u kidding? Ha! (Sorry, couldn't resist.) That is so annoying. And rude, I must say.
Sorry I wasn’t home when you called. I was with a gentleman who I shall refer to as the Equestrian. Quite a ride!
From: Renee Greene – April 23, 2011 – 11:58 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Not Gr8!
Amen, sister. Both annoying and rude. And of course he texted me an hour later for another date. Told him “2BZ but 10Q.” Translation: “Too busy, but thank you” for us normal people. Gotta get to bed. Have my date tomorrow with EarthMan. I’ll send you and Mark the details in the morning.
From: Shelley Manning – April 24, 2011 – 12:01 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Not Gr8!
LMAO!
From: Renee Greene – April 24, 2011 – 9:43 AM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: The “O”
Not the “Big O,” Shelley. Although I figured the subject line would get your attention. No, I’m going to a restaurant this morning called the “O” with EarthMan. His real name is Danny something or other. But, it’s a public place and as usual, I will call or email when I get home.
From: Shelley Manning – April 24, 2011 – 10:32 AM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: The “O”
Yes, you certainly know how to grab a girl’s attention, don’t you? Well, have fun sweetie. And, maybe if you get lucky, the “O” will result in the “Big O” after all.
From: Renee Greene – April 24, 2011 – 10:34 AM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: The “O”
“O” no you didn’t!
From: Mark Finlay – April 24, 2011 – 11:22 AM
To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: The “O”
Should I really be getting cc’d on these emails? I feel like a voyeur! Have fun and be safe.
From: Shelley Manning – April 24, 2011 – 11:24 AM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: The “O”
Oh – or should I say “O” – didn’t see you there, Finlay. Sorry. I’ll be more careful next time.
From: Renee Greene – April 24, 2011 – 1:58 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: O is for Organic
Well, I figured out that the “O” in “O” stands for…you guessed it…organic. It was an all-organic restaurant. And, I gotta say, the food was pretty good. Wish I could say the same for Danny. It started out just fine. He is really cute and – at first – quite charming. But, as brunch wore on, he and his “earthy” ways started to wear on my nerves. BIG TIME!
Did you know that 20,000 deaths occur every year in developing countries from pesticide poisoning by growing conventional cotton? Or that the livestock industry is one of the largest contributors to environmental degradation worldwide? Or that ground water can be improved through organic farming methods? Neither did it. But I do now.
I drive a hybrid. I take my own grocery bags to the store. I even recycle my batteries. Can you two say that? But, you would have thought I was the single biggest contributor to the downfall of the entire ecosystem. I don’t eat the right foods, shop the right stores or wear the right clothes.
The date ended with a mutual, but still “O” so awkward acknowledgment that this was not a love match. I’m going to drown my sorrows with a juicy steak and highly-processed can of frosting.
From: Shelley Manning – April 24, 2011 – 2:30 PM
To: Renee Greene; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: O is for Organic
“O” no! Put down the frosting. Step away from the frosting. Seriously, don’t get discouraged. Get off the couch (because I know that’s where you are!), open up a window to let in some fresh air and remember how great you are, sweetie.
From: Mark Finlay – April 24, 2011 – 6:57 PM
To: Renee Greene; Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: O is for Organic
I ech”O” what Shelley just said. Hard to believe, I know. But really, you’re the best, Renee. It’ll happen for you. I just know it.
From: Renee Greene – April 24, 2011 – 7:28 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: O is for Organic
Thanks guys. I’m so lucky to have friends like you two.
From: [email protected]/FunDays222 – April 28, 2011 – 1:08 PM
To: [email protected]/PRGal1981
Bcc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Haven’t heard back from you? Is this because I don’t read?
From: Shelley Manning – April 28, 2011 – 1:17 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
OMG! I needed a good laugh. You should email him back and say that nymphomaniacs are fine, but illiterates are not.
From: Renee Greene – April 28, 2011 – 1:19 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: No such thing as bad PR?
Yikes!
From: Renee Greene – May 3, 2011 – 2:36 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Ashley Price
Subject: One for the books
Well, ladies. Per my subject line, this truly is one for the books. I know you two, of all people, will totally appreciate this story. So, I’m sitting at Tom’s Bistro with a colleague from work and a client having a lunch meeting. About half way through, the waitress walks over and hands me a note and says it’s from a gentleman in the restaurant. (I still don’t know who he was.)
I open it up and it says, “I’m on a REALLY BAD fi
rst date right now. Not only are we not clicking, but I’m completely distracted looking at you across the room. I hope you won’t be totally offended by this, but I would really like to take you out on a date. Obviously, I can’t come over there and talk with you now. So, here is my contact info. I hope you’ll email or call me. P.S. I NEVER do this.”
And…go!
From: Shelley Manning – May 3, 2011 – 4:42 PM
To: Ashley Price; Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One for the books
Sounds like a VERY smart guy to have noticed you from across the room and sensed how awesome you are. Call him. What have you got to lose?
From: Ashley Price – May 3, 2011 – 6:07 PM
To: Shelley Manning; Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One for the books
What have you got to lose? Your dignity! I say this guy sounds like a total jerk. What’s to say that he won’t be scouting around for something better while you’re on a first date with him?
From: Shelley Manning – May 4, 2011 – 8:29 AM
To: Ashley Price; Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One for the books
Of course you would have to be so pessimistic about this. I’m sure you’ve been on a date that isn’t going well. So, why punish him just because he happened to see Renee at that moment, as opposed to a time when he was with some buddies, walking his dog, going to the drycleaners, etc.?
From: Ashley Price – May 4, 2011 – 10:02 AM
To: Shelley Manning; Renee Greene
Subject: Re: One for the books
Why are you so sure I’ve been on a bad date? Are you implying that I’m a bad date? Regardless, he didn’t see her with some friends, walking his dog or going to the drycleaners.