Book Read Free

The Click Trilogy

Page 38

by Lisa Becker


  From: Renee Greene – November 26, 2012 – 11:22 AM

  To: Shelley Manning

  Cc: Ashley Gordon

  Subject: Re: Lunch at Mel’s?

  I would love to go shopping with you. We can hit some stores in the Century City Mall after we eat. Just remind me that we are going clothes shopping and it’s not a good idea to eat an ice cream sundae before trying on skinny jeans. How does that sound?

  From: Ashley Gordon – November 26, 2012 – 11:24 AM

  To: Renee Greene

  Cc: Shelley Manning

  Subject: Re: Lunch at Mel’s?

  Sounds perfect. See you tomorrow.

  From: cassidy – November 26, 2012 – 1:15 PM

  To:

  Subject: Fwd: Cats for Adoption

 

  a friend of a friends cat just had a liter of kittens. see the attached photo. arent they cute? please consider adopting one of them. they all need a good home.

  h’s & k’s,

  cassidy

  From: Renee Greene – November 27, 2012 – 3:35 PM

  To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon

  Subject: Skinny Jeans My Ass!

  Thanks for a fun afternoon of shopping. I think you got some really cute stuff. I especially like that peasant blouse. Trés chic.

  Wish I had half as much luck as you did. Actually, wish I had half as much thigh as you do. ;) Damn girl! For just having had a baby, you look hot.

  But honestly, why don’t skinny jeans look skinny in my size? It’s right there in the name!

  But I digress (as usual). It was great and I look forward to doing it again soon. Talk with you later. Hugs and kisses to my sweet angel.

  From: Shelley Manning – November 27, 2012 – 4:12 PM

  To: Renee Greene

  Cc: Ashley Gordon

  Subject: Re: Skinny Jeans My Ass!

  Thanks for giving me the “skinny” on your shopping expedition. And I agree. That’s false advertising indeed. But Sweetie, you really need to have a positive body image.

  From: Renee Greene – November 27, 2012 – 4:14 PM

  To: Shelley Manning

  Cc: Ashley Gordon

  Subject: Re: Skinny Jeans My Ass!

  I do have a positive body image. I’m positive I’m fat.

  From: Shelley Manning – November 27, 2012 – 4:17 PM

  To: Renee Greene

  Cc: Ashley Gordon

  Subject: Re: Skinny Jeans My Ass!

  When you’re an 85-year-old grandma sitting around the nursing home, I just know you’ll look back on pictures of yourself from now and say “Damn girl! I looked hot!” And thus the nickname “Supermodel Renee” now.

  From: Ashley Gordon – November 27, 2012 – 5:03 PM

  To: Shelley Manning

  Cc: Renee Greene

  Subject: Re: Skinny Jeans My Ass!

  Renee, you are priceless. And wonderful. And beautiful. Don’t forget it.

  From: Renee Greene – November 27, 2012 – 5:05 PM

  To: Ashley Gordon

  Cc: Shelley Manning

  Subject: Re: Skinny Jeans My Ass!

  Just do something different with my hair, right?

  From: Ashley Gordon – November 27, 2012 – 5:07 PM

  To: Renee Greene

  Cc: Shelley Manning

  Subject: Re: Skinny Jeans My Ass!

  LOL! Right. ;)

  From: Renee Greene – November 27, 2012 – 5:15 PM

  To: Ashley Gordon

  Cc: Shelley Manning

  Subject: Re: Skinny Jeans My Ass!

  Shel, it’s so funny you say that. I was just going through some old photo albums with Ethan and commenting on how thin I was back then, yet how I thought I was so fat. Amazing what a little perspective, time and cans of frosting can do. I suppose you’re right. I shall put the “fat talk” on a diet then.

  From: Shelley Manning – November 27, 2012 – 5:20 PM

  To: Renee Greene

  Cc: Ashley Gordon

  Subject: Re: Skinny Jeans My Ass!

  Damn straight and don’t you forget it! Talk with you later, Sweetie. Mwah! Mwah!

  From: Renee Greene – November 29, 2012 – 9:54 AM

  To: Shelley Manning, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, cassidy

  Cc: PBCupLover

  Subject: Vegas casinos going broke!

  Vegas casinos are going to go broke paying out against outrageous odds that I would ever get married, since Ethan and I have set a wedding date. Official Save the Date cards will go out 8 months before the wedding, but want to make sure my maid of honor and bridesmaids (yes, that includes you, Mark) know we will be married on July 5, 2014. We picked the long holiday weekend to make it easier for his relatives and friends from Ohio and New York to come out. So mark it down. You are expected to attend.

  From: Shelley Manning – November 29, 2012 – 10:02 AM

  To: Renee Greene

  Cc: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, cassidy

  Subject: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!

  Actually, I always knew you’d get married, so I should be raking in the Vegas dough about now. How will I spend my cash? Oh yeah. Storage facility rental. CRAP! Speaking of which, thanks for agreeing to help me move my furniture over this week. Mojitos at Flint’s on me.

  From: Ashley Gordon – November 29, 2012 – 11:30 AM

  To: Shelley Manning

  Cc: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Renee Greene, cassidy

  Subject: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!

  No doubt, I’m in as a bridesmain. And I’m willing to help in any way. I certainly owe you big time for making my wedding so special.

  But I wish you would get married sooner rather than later. The sooner you get married, the sooner you can have a baby for Siobhan to be best friends with and another mom for me to hang out with.

  From: Renee Greene – November 29, 2012 – 11:35 AM

  To: Ashley Gordon

  Cc: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Mark Finlay, cassidy

  Subject: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!

  Oh, Ash. I’m not ready for a baby…yet. Siobhan will just have to be Little Baby Langers’ baby sitter. (And if you think I’m telling you the gender of little Baby Langer before the birth, you’re sorely mistaken!)

  But I totally forgot to ask if you can help with one huge favor, though. We need the cutest little flower girl ever seen and would love for Siobhan to be in the wedding.

  From: Ashley Gordon – November 29, 2012 – 11:38 AM

  To: Renee Greene

  Cc: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Mark Finlay, cassidy

  Subject: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!

  Of course! We and she would be honored.

  From: Mark Finlay – November 29, 2012 – 5:30 PM

  To: Ashley Gordon

  Cc: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Renee Greene, cassidy

  Subject: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!

  Sorry for the delay, I just honestly wasn’t sure how to respond. For years, I’ve had people thinking I was gay. And while I have an amazingly beautiful girlfriend now, I think being a bridesmaid in your wedding might just not be the right move for me. Plus, I fear I would never be able to wear the dress again. I’m sure you can understand, no?

  From: cassidy – November 29, 2012 – 5:30 PM

  To: Mark Finlay

  Cc: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Renee Greene, Ashley Gordon

  Subject: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!

  Hes definitely not gay!

  From: Shelley Manning – November 29, 2012 – 5:30 PM

  To: Renee Greene

  Subject: Fwd: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!

  GAG!

  From: Renee Greene – November 29, 2012 – 5:45 PM

  To: cassidy

  Cc: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon

  Subject: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!

  Ha! Ha! Ha! We’ve been laughing our asses off all day wondering how you would res
pond. No, we would like for you to be a groomsman, Mark.

  From: Mark Finlay – November 29, 2012 – 5:46 PM

  To: Renee Greene

  Cc: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon, cassidy

  Subject: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!

  Perfect! That I can and will do as you say “I do.”

  Chapter 20 – Getting A Move On

  From: Shelley Manning – December 1, 2012 – 10:14 AM

  To: Renee Greene, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, cassidy, PBCupLover, Greg Gordon

  Subject: Carbo-Load!

  Okay people. You’d better carbo-load tonight, because tomorrow I’m working your asses hard. Not only will we need to pack up all of my stuff, but the stronger of you (read: Ethan, Mark and Cassidy) will need to help load furniture on/off the truck to the storage facility. Nick will be here to help, too.

  I’ll have bagels and OJ in the morning and pizza and beer will be provided for lunch. If you want something other than that, bring it yourself. And no whining allowed. You’re not going to have to deal with me for a long while after tomorrow, so you can put up with my demands for one more day.

  That’s all. Oh, and thanks!

  From: Renee Greene – December 1, 2012 – 10:17 AM

  To: Shelley Manning

  Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!

  What do you mean, “the stronger of you” …and I’m not included? Oh hell, who am I kidding? I’m a weakling. And a complainer. I know it. You know it. I’ll take care of breakables. That’s more my speed. See you tomorrow.

  From: Shelley Manning – December 1, 2012 – 10:25 AM

  To: Renee Greene

  Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!

  It’s taken 12 years of our friendship for you to finally be secure enough to know your limitations and be okay with them. My work here is finally done. I can leave with a clear conscience.

  From: Renee Greene – December 1, 2012 – 10:26 AM

  To: Shelley Manning

  Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!

  Please don’t go. Is that selfish of me? I don’t want you to go.

  From: Shelley Manning – December 1, 2012 – 10:28 AM

  To: Renee Greene

  Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!

  Sweetie, it’s not selfish to want me around. It’s really just a natural response. Seriously, you don’t think this is killing me too? But you have Ethan now and I want to see if that kind of happiness is in the cards for me and Nick. Is that selfish of me?

  From: Renee Greene – December 1, 2012 – 10:32 AM

  To: Shelley Manning

  Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!

  YES! You are being completely selfish! ;) (YIKES! Hard to be sarcastic in emails. Thank goodness for emoticons.) You are doing the right thing. I’m just going to miss you. That’s all.

  From: Shelley Manning – December 1, 2012 – 10:34 AM

  To: Renee Greene

  Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!

  Me too, Sweetie. Mwah! Mwah!

  From: Mark Finlay – December 1, 2012 – 11:15 AM

  To: Shelley Manning

  Cc: Ashley Gordon, cassidy, PBCupLover, Greg Gordon, Renee Greene

  Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!

  Cass and I will be there, sir, drill sergeant, sir.

  From: Shelley Manning – December 1, 2012 – 11:25 AM

  To: Mark Finlay

  Cc: Ashley Gordon, cassidy, PBCupLover, Greg Gordon, Renee Greene

  Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!

  Excellent. I appreciate the tone of deference. Be sure to keep it up tomorrow.

  From: Renee Greene – December 4, 2012 – 3:27 PM

  To: Ashley Gordon

  Subject: 7 Stages of Grief

  OMG! I’m definitely going through the seven stages of grief. I can’t believe Shelley is moving. Despite the previous sentence, I’ve passed denial. I know it’s real. And with the fact I’m leaving with her tomorrow for Seattle, I really know it’s real.

  I’ve literally been sitting on the couch crying my eyes out every night for the past few days. And I was convinced I had a rare disease or two. I got these weird aches and pains, which according to the internet were sure signs of something horrible happening in my body. But they went away after I got some sleep.

  Now, I’ve moved onto anger and bargaining. I completely lashed out at Ethan for leaving his dirty dishes in the sink. I woke up to find them in the sink and screamed, “I’m not your maid!” Then I burst into tears and told him I’ve been looking at tech PR jobs in Seattle, that we should consider moving there too and that once his company goes public, that would be a great place for it to relocate.

  CRAP! I know depression is next. And you know what happens when I get depressed. Time to break out the frosting!

  From: Ashley Gordon – December 4, 2012 – 4:12 PM

  To: Renee Greene

  Subject: Re: 7 Stages of Grief

  Oh, Renee. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I’m really going to miss Shelley, too. I’ll miss her unsettling stories, outrageously inappropriate comments and argumentative tone. We’ll always have email, right? And besides, you have so much to look forward to – being an Auntie to little Siobhan, planning your wedding, etc. Can I take you to Mel’s when you’re back from Seattle for an ice cream sundae – my treat?

  From: Renee Greene – December 4, 2012 – 4:45 PM

  To: Ashley Gordon

  Subject: Re: 7 Stages of Grief

  Hmmm. I’m not getting the sense you’re going to miss Shel all that much. Tee hee! No, I know you’re going to miss her. I know I’m lucky to still have you, Mark, Cassidy and Ethan to spend time with. We all have a ton of great things to look forward to. I’m just going to miss her terribly. I don’t think an ice cream from Mel’s will fill the void, however I’m willing to give it a try. ;) I’ll call you when I’m back.

  Chapter 21 – KT3

  From: Ashley Gordon – December 5, 2012 – 9:02 AM

  To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning

  Subject: No girl time because of the girl time

  Good luck out on the road tomorrow girls. Again, I wish I could join you, but I don’t think me and a nursing baby are what you want on your 6-day drive to Seattle. I can’t wait to hear all about your adventures. Take lots of pictures and send me a daily update of what you’ve seen, how many miles you’ve traveled, how much junk you’ve eaten, etc. I’ll miss the fun girl time and will be living vicariously through your emails. Please don’t skimp on the details.

  From: Renee Greene – December 5, 2012 – 9:13 AM

  To: Ashley Gordon

  Cc: Shelley Manning

  Subject: Re: No girl time because of the girl time

  I will provide a daily digest of our adventures. Just in case you want to track our travels, see the attached link where our itinerary has been mapped out for us courtesy of – you guessed it – Mark. He’s planned out all of our routes, printed out maps and even identified the best hotel accommodations available depending on where we decide to stop each day.

  From: Ashley Gordon – December 5, 2012 – 9:25 AM

  To: Renee Greene

  Subject: Re: No girl time because of the girl time

  Sounds fantastic. Again, I’m sorry I’m going to miss it all. But come to think of it, 6 days cooped up in a car with Shelley – and knowing she’s going to be driving for a good portion of the time – might be more than I could handle anyway.

  From: Renee Greene – December 5, 2012 – 9:27 AM

  To: Ashley Gordon

  Subject: Re: No girl time because of the girl time

  Yeah, she’s not the best driver, is she? I’m going to be my best to stay calm and keep her focused on the road.

  From: Ashley Gordon – December 5, 2012 – 9:29 AM

  To: Renee Greene

  Subject: Re: No girl time because of the girl time

  Safe travels, Renee. Have a ball. I‘ll look forward to the daily digest.

  From: Renee
Greene – December 6, 2012 – 8:33 AM

  To: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, cassidy

  Subject: And we’re off

  Kitsch Tour Twenty Twelve, or KT3 as I’ve dubbed it, is ON! Essentially, we plan to see every oddball, peculiar, weird, funny, strange and just plain wacky thing from here to Seattle. I’ll email a daily digest of what we do, along with pix, so you can live vicariously through us. Love to all!

  Shelley says, “Thanks again everyone for everything. I’m not much for sentimentality, as you know. I won’t get mushy on you. Just remember, if you make your way up to Seattle, there’s a hotel not too far from my place where you can stay. HA! Seriously, would love it if you come up and stay with us for a visit. Bye for now.”

  From: Renee Greene – December 6, 2012 – 8:39 AM

  To: PBCupLover

  Subject: What a doll!

  Thanks for the road trip care package. You are such a doll!

  XOXO, Me

  From: Renee Greene – December 6, 2012 – 8:41 AM

  To: Mark Finlay

  Subject: Reminder – not that you likely need it

  Hey there. Just a quick reminder, not that you really need a reminder, to please put that package in the mail for me today. Thanks so much. I think Ethan is going to love it. It’s only been a few hours and I miss him already. Talk soon!

  From: PBCupLover – December 6, 2012 – 8:44 AM

  To: Renee Greene

  Subject: Re: What a doll!

  Just don’t eat all of those chips in one sitting. Oh, and turn on your iPod. There’s a whole playlist of road trip songs like “500 Miles” by the Proclaimers and “Take It Easy” by the Eagles for you.

 

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