The Click Trilogy
Page 55
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Okay?
Mwah! Mwah! And a big hug with it.
From: Shelley Manning – January 12, 2014 – 11:01 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Reality check
How's she doing? Really?!
From: PBCupLover – January 12, 2014 – 11:04 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Reality Check
She's hanging in there. She has good days and bad days. Scratch that. She has bad days and worse days. But she's managing.
From: Shelley Manning – January 12, 2014 – 11:06 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Reality Check
That's exactly how she described it. Bad and worse.
From: PBCupLover – January 12, 2014 – 11:11 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Reality Check
It will get easier. But with the wedding coming up, I know it's going to take an emotional toll on her. She's very worried about who's going to walk her down the aisle.
From: Shelley Manning – January 12, 2014 – 11:12 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Reality Check
I'll do it. I can totally rock a tux.
From: PBCupLover – January 12, 2014 – 11:14 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Reality Check
I'm sure you can. I'll make that suggestion. Certainly will bring a smile to her face.
From: Shelley Manning – January 12, 2014 – 11:16 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Reality Check
You do that. I'm so relieved to know she has you there. You continue to take care of her or else.
From: PBCupLover – January 12, 2014 – 11:18 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Reality Check
Believe me, I will. Not only do I love her more than anything, I don't want to endure your wrath.
From: Shelley Manning – January 12, 2014 – 11:20 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Reality Check
Smart thinking on both counts. Let me know if you need anything. Talk with you soon.
Chapter 18 – Internet Fun
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 9:33 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: My disgusting man
Ugh! Sorry! Skype just isn't a good idea when Ethan's around. I apologize for his unbelievably rude behavior. In his defense, he didn't know we were talking when he came in and...did that.
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 9:38 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
You mean farted, let out the anal exhale, dropped a booty bomb, broke wind, cut the cheese, exhumed the dinner corpse, gave a heinie hiccup, trouser coughed, and I've run out of ways to paraphrase.
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 9:39 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Yes...that.
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 9:42 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
It was just a fart. Couples do that stuff in front of each other all the time. It's a sign of complete comfort with each other.
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 9:43 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
I've never farted in front of him.
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 9:43 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Never?
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 9:44 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Well once on accident after a particularly cruciferous meal.
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 9:45 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Cruciferous?
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 9:48 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Yeah, you know, broccoli, cauliflower and brussel sprouts or other veggies that are a bit... gassy.
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 9:50 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Honestly, I don't know how he puts up with you.
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 9:51 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
What do you mean? I only let it slip once.
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 9:57 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Sweetie, it's not that. It's that you use words like cruciferous and expect that we all know what it means. And then you use "gassy" but make it sound as if you are whispering it through the side of your mouth out of embarrassment. I might as well be talking to Ashley! We all do it. It's just air.
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 10:00 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Well, that Ashley comment was just uncalled for. ;) You're right. It's just air…but stinky air coming from private places. You do it in front of Nick?
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 10:04 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
First of all, I don't have any private places when it comes to Nick. And second, my "air" doesn't stink. It's like roses and rainbows. Sometimes I even get a standing ovation and I don't mean that sexually.
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 10:06 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Okay. Okay. This conversation has officially gone awry. Can we please change the subject?
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 10:08 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Sure, I can talk about something I DO mean sexually if you would prefer.
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 10:10 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Argh! How about the Middle East Peace Process?
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 10:13 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
I think a big orgy would solve all of the region's troubles. Love the one you're with, right?
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 10:14 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Is there a sexual answer to all of the world's ills?
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 10:15 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
I don't know. Give me a try.
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 10:16 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
School bullying?
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 10:20 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
More sex for nerds! Kids who are getting laid regularly don't mind the occasional shove into the locker. It might actually turn them on. Next?
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 10:22 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Obesity?
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 10:24 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
More cushion for pushin'!
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 10:26 PM
To: Shelley Manni
ng
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Ew! That's gross. Okay, try this one...Proliferation of nuclear weapons?
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 10:37 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Nuclear weapons were first used to bring an end to World War II and fear of a nuclear war spread. Young Americans returned home from war and there were almost 2.3 million marriages in 1946, an increase of more than six hundred thousand over the previous year. Many of these newlyweds had children within a year: a record 3.8 million babies were born in 1947. This was the first year of the baby boom, which lasted for most of the 1950s. Between 1948 and 1953 more babies were born than had been over the previous thirty years. Nukes lead to fucks.
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 10:39 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Did you seriously just look that up? Not the last line, but the rest of it?
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 10:40 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
What makes you think that?
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 10:41 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 10:44 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Yes, I did just look that up. But you never said Wikipedia was off limits. What's your next scourge on society that I can solve for you with my special and unique brand of magic?
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 10:46 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
I was going to say homelessness, but I already know you are going to say let's open up our homes and beds to everyone.
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 10:48 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
Indeed, that would have been my response. Glad to see I'm rubbing off on you.
From: Renee Greene – January 16, 2014 – 10:49 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
You are insufferable, you know that?
From: Shelley Manning – January 16, 2014 – 10:52 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: My disgusting man
I do and that is why you love me, miss me and stalk me. Gotta run, but will talk soon. Hang in there, Sweetie. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Shelley Manning – January 22, 2014 – 8:42 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: James Lipton Questionnaire
Hi, Sweetie. You sounded downright chipper yesterday talking about your own agency. I'm so glad you have something positive to focus on aside from how lucky you are to have me as a best friend. Oh, and your wedding to Ethan.
So Nick and I have become obsessed with Inside the Actor's Studio. Even though I hate celebrities, I can't seem to tear myself away from this series. My fav part is the James Lipton questions at the end. So much so, that I've put together my responses for when being as hot and fabulous as I am merits inclusion as a guest on the show.
Want to play along?
From: Renee Greene – January 22, 2014 – 8:48 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
I'm not surprised that Nick likes the show. He's totally star struck. He is constantly asking me about any celebrities I've worked with and when we saw that actress from The Good Wife, he was giddy. The questionnaire sounds fun. Send the questions over.
From: Shelley Manning – January 22, 2014 – 8:56 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
He is pretty star struck. It's actually quite sexy. He likes to pretend that I'm a famous actress and he's a fan. But that's a story for another time. Okay, here are the James Lipton questions...
What is your favorite word?
What is your least favorite word?
What turns you on?
What turns you off?
What sound or noise do you love?
What sound or noise do you hate?
What is your favorite curse word?
What profession other than your own would like to attempt?
What profession would you not like to do?
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
From: Renee Greene – January 22, 2014 – 8:59 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
OMG! I am already reeling at the thought of your X-rated answers.
From: Shelley Manning – January 22, 2014 – 9:00 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
Yeah, mine are pretty good.
From: Renee Greene – January 22, 2014 – 9:00 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
Are you going to share?
From: Shelley Manning – January 22, 2014 – 9:01 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
You first.
From: Renee Greene – January 22, 2014 – 9:19 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
Okay. Here goes…
What is your favorite word? Thank you. Okay, it's two words but one phrase that I feel like no one says anymore. As you know, manners are very important to me.
What is your least favorite word? It’s a tie between “moist” and “panties” with extra "fingernails-down-the-blackboard-style chills" when the two words are used together.
What turns you on? Humor. That's probably why I'm head over heels in love with Jon Stewart...oh, and Ethan too. ;)
What turns you off? Petty squabbles. The world has enough problems without arguing and fretting over inconsequential stuff.
What sound or noise do you love? My sweet angel, Siobhan, in fits of giggles. And believe me, no one gets her laughing it up like Auntie Renee.
What sound or noise do you hate? Airplanes taking off. Fatal accidents are more likely to occur during the climbing stage of flight and that sound of the engines revving up just fuh-reaks me out!
What is your favorite curse word? Mother#@$%er! Enough said!
What profession other than your own would like to attempt? Professional cake decorator. It looks so fun and yummy.
What profession would you not like to do? Accountant. As you know, my checkbook rarely balances.
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? I know Jews don't believe in heaven, but we're happy to have you here, the cupcakes are calorie-free and your hair looks great.
From: Shelley Manning – January 22, 2014 – 9:25 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
Moist panties? That was my answer for favorite word. Ha-larious! THANK YOU (I know you love hearing that) for the embellishments on the responses. Definitely puts things into more perspective for me. Time for my responses. Are you sitting down?
From: Renee Greene – January 22, 2014 – 9:29 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
I am sitting down. And I’ve got a cold drink of water on hand in case I need to douse the flames of the heat rising inside of my loins from your tawdry responses.
From: Shelley Manning – January 22, 2014 – 9:31 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
LOL! You need to start writing cheesy romance novels. Perhaps that should be your new career.
From: Renee Greene – January 22, 2014 – 9:34 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
I will give it some thought if my own agency doesn't work out or I smother Skinny Skye out of sheer jealousy and end up in jail with lots of time on my blood-stained hands to write. For now, I need your answers, please.
From: Shelley Manning – January 22, 2014 – 9:45 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
What is your favorite word? Pleasure.
What is your least favorite word? Intolerance.
What turns you on? Experimentation.
What turns you off? Monotony.
What sound or noise do you love? Screams of ecstasy.
What sound or noise do you hate? Morning alarm clock.
What is your favorite curse word? Cocksucker!
What profession other than your own would like to attempt? Sex phone operator
What profession would you not like to do? Preschool teacher.
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Yeah, right, like I'm going to Heaven. Ha-Larious! But, I suppose miracles do happen. If that's the case, I expect God to say, "Shake that heavenly ass on in."
From: Renee Greene – January 22, 2014 – 9:50 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire
Somehow I doubt that God is using the phrase "heavenly ass" but otherwise, the answers are pretty spot on to what I had anticipated.
From: Shelley Manning – January 22, 2014 – 9:52 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: James Lipton Questionnaire