Breaking Down (The Breaking Series)

by Smith, Calista

He’s quiet as he stares and I feel like he can see right through me. “You have beautiful lips.”

  “Shut up!” I smack his arm. I immediately draw my hand back. Whoops, didn’t mean to be so bold.

  “You do. No one has ever told you that before? Your eyes are pretty bad-ass too. Are they green or —”

  “They’re hazel.” I answer quickly, embarrassed by his compliments.

  “They’re really exotic looking.” He stares into my eyes and I feel my heart racing.

  “You have really nice eyes, too.” I blurt out. His smile grows and he bats his eyes at me. I can’t believe I said that to him. I feel like an idiot.

  He chuckles, before looking away and through the corner of my eye I see him tapping his pen on the desk. “Hey, who do you have fourth period?”

  “Mr. Lopez.” I say, hesitantly.

  He drops his pen on his notebook making a loud sound, “Oh, no shit! I’ve got Spanish up there too. We should meet up after class and walk down here together.”

  “Really? Okay, yea.” Oh, my God, I’m losing it, did he really ask to walk me to class?

  Like he can read my thoughts, he says, “Yea, meet me by the end of the building and I’ll walk you.” He leans back into his chair, pulling his phone from his pocket and starts to hand it to me, “In case I need to text you, if I can’t find you or whatever.” He must have seen me hesitate to take it.

  “Oh, okay.” I grab his phone, input my number and hand it back. A second later my phone buzzes and I open the text message he sent.

  Smile :) ~D

  I smile and look up at him, and he takes a picture of me. Oh my god!

  “So I can see it’s you when you call or text.” He explains.

  I gasp and reach for the phone, “Eww, I hate my pictures!”

  “You shouldn’t. You’re beautiful.” He replies holding it away from me.

  I’m completely speechless. I know he probably says that to all the girls, but no one ever says that to me. “Thank you Dante.” I smile and drop my hands back to my desk.

  “So how do you like it here so far?” He changes the subject.

  “It’s cool. It’s a lot bigger than what I’m used to, but I can adjust.” I shrug.

  “Well, that’s good. I can’t imagine having to switch schools senior year. It’s got to be tough.”

  “I don’t know. Change can be good.” I sigh

  “Well, who knows, it could turn out to be the best year yet.” He winks.

  He really has no idea what he does to me when he does stuff like that. His smile, his wink, I can’t get over them. I picture myself gathering up the puddle I’ve become off of the floor.

  Suddenly the bell rings and I’m throwing everything into my backpack as fast as I can as I prepare to make my usual quick exit. I jump up to leave and trip as I maneuver out of my desk. My sandal gets caught on the leg and it catapults me right on top of his desk. Oh, my goodness, I look like Superman lying across his desk like this. I flush all shades of red. Dante looks at me curiously, “Are you okay?” I can see him holding in a laugh. Others in the class are not so polite. Damn Hyenas!

  “I’m fine, I just tripped.” I get up and reach down to fix the strap, avoiding looking up at anyone. Why do I have to be such a damn klutz all the time? I grab my backpack and fling it onto my back as I began to walk out, willing my eye to stop twitching.

  “Hey hold up, we’re going the same way right now. Give me a second,” He runs over to the hyena twins he came in with and says something that has them both swooning. I see him hug them and he’s headed back my way.

  “Let’s go,” he guides me out with his hand on the small of my back. Butterflies! Tons and tons of butterflies are threatening my stomach with each move I make. We walk through the crowded hallway, to where Aiden and Natalia are waiting in their usual spot.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” He looks me over.

  I blush, “I’m fine. I’m just clumsy. Nothing new, I’m surprised it took this long to show up.”

  “Well, I’m glad you didn’t get hurt. At least you didn’t hit your head again.” He laughs.

  Holy Cow! He totally saw that, when I hit my head leaving Aiden’s house? I knew it. “Oh. That. Yea, well, um, I guess I’m prone to these kinds of things.” My face is hot with embarrassment.

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s charming.” He clears his throat.

  “Charming, huh?” I ask sarcastically as he chuckles lightly.

  “So, what are you doing this weekend?”

  “I’m not sure, why?”

  “You should come over with Aiden and Natalia on Saturday.” He says.

  “I’ll see.” I try to sound as nonchalant as possible, even if I’m excited as heck he wants to see me this weekend.

  His hand brushes against mine, as we walk outside. I swear a jolt of electricity runs up my arm. It’s completely unreal to me that my body reacts the way it does whenever he’s around. Why is that? Must be the wizard thing he has going on.

  CHAPTER 4

  “These jeans, this shirt and your sandals.” Nat shoves everything at me.

  “Are you sure, Nat?” I’m skeptical about her choices.

  “Yes babes, trust me!” She smiles.

  I slip on the clothes and then look at myself in the mirror, pouting at the disaster I’ve made with my hair, “Can you do my hair? I suck at it!”

  “Yea! ¡Siéntate!” She shoves me into the chair she pulled from my desk.

  I hear my phone buzz and I check it.

  Did you decide? ~D

  “Oh, my God, it’s him!” I shove the phone at her. She texts for me before I can refuse, then hands it back.

  You’ll have to wait and see! ~ R

  “Natalia.” I whine at her.

  “What? He’s going to love it!” She laughs. The phone buzzes again.

  Oh really? And what if I decide not to wait? ~D

  “Now what?” I look up at her, my eyes pleading for her help. She grabs it again, texts something and quickly hands it back.

  Your loss! ~ R

  I wait to see if it’s going to buzz again and when it doesn’t, I second guess if I should be going. “Nat, are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, I don’t even know if he likes me.”

  “Rock, he invited you. He likes you and yes, you’re going! Stop being a chicken, besides even if you two don’t hook up, I want you to go. Malachi’s right! You need to get out. You’re a teenager for goodness sakes, not a grandma! You’ve been a nun for long enough already.”

  “I’m not a nun, Nat.” I pout. Then I start to worry, “Do I really act like a grandma?”

  “Really, you do. Lately all you do is sit in this room reading, or sit in that room watching TV or talking to that bird!” She points towards the living room with the hand she isn’t using to do my hair.

  “Nat, I don’t know. I’m not sure I’m ready to go there.” I think back on what brought me to this point. It’s the last thing I want to think about. The scandal that rocked the school. My parents fighting. Me losing all my friends, all except for Malachi. My parent’s divorce. I’m beginning to lose my nerve when I look up and meet Nat’s eyes in the mirror.

  “Look Rock, what happened sucks. But it’s in the past. You can’t stall your entire life over one thing. Let it go. You came here for a fresh start. Take it!” She encourages me.

  I think about what she’s saying and I know she’s probably right. I don’t want her to worry, so I try changing the subject a little. “Oh, God, the last thing I want is to be compared to a grandma! I don’t have friends here—” I began to explain.

  Nat whips my hair to the side, forcing me to look at her; her green eyes bulging and her mouth wide open. “What the heck am I?” She places her hand on her hip.

  I reach for my head and rub the spot she pulled, “No, I know I have you. I mean, I don’t have other friends and when you aren’t working, you’re with Aiden. I can’t be the third wheel all the time, Natalia.”

  S
he nods her head, realizing what I meant, “Well, tonight you’re not the third wheel. Dante wants to see you and you’re going. You’re not sitting in this house reading with your bird again! There.” She says as she shows me her masterpiece with my hair.

  “Wow, Natalia you’re super talented for reals! Have you heard back from the school yet?”

  “Nope, not yet. But I’m not worried about it. I've got a couple of other schools I’m looking at, so if worse comes to worse.” That’s Natalia, always the optimist. She grabs her purse and keys, fixes her lip gloss and she’s shoving me out the door. I don’t think she wants to take any chances of me changing my mind.

  ***

  We pull up and I swear my body is trembling. Why does he make me so nervous? I’m fidgeting with my shirt and then my hair.

  “Calm down, Rock.” She frowns at me.

  “I know, right? I’m trying.” I start to mess with my shirt again.

  “Dude, seriously?” She swats my hands.

  “Okay, okay. Jeez, ¡Vámonos!” I grab her arm and pull her with me to the door.

  Aiden lets us in and we walk to the living room where he’s watching the game with Dante. We aren’t even there five minutes, when Natalia gets up and looks at me. “Hey, you going to be ok for a second? Aiden and I've got to talk.”

  “She’ll be in good hands.” Dante answers. Natalia rolls her eyes and I can’t help but giggle as they go upstairs.

  “So, you decided to come?” Dante smiles at me.

  “Mm-hmm.” I meet his gaze.

  “Good,” He moves over to the couch I’m sitting on, scooting close to me. I’m a big ball of nerves and I feel my stomach doing flips. “Do I make you nervous?” He scoots a bit closer keeping his eyes on me the entire time. He smells so good! I wonder what cologne he uses.

  “A little,” And I feel like my nerves are literally causing me to shake.

  “Why?” He laughs lightly. I look up at him and shrug. My throat feels like sandpaper and I’m not sure I can talk at the moment. He turns back towards the TV. I sit still but my mind is spinning in all different directions the entire time. I can’t concentrate on anything. The commercial comes on and he looks over at me, “So, what made you move to Rancho?”

  “My parents. They divorced and Mom wanted me to have a good support system around. Natalia and her mom are the closest thing we have to family, so she moved us here.” I try to explain with the least amount of detail possible.

  “And are you happy, upset? I can’t tell. You’re really hard to read, you know?” His body slumps comfortably into the couch as he settles himself sideways with his knee propped against the outside of my thigh. Does he feel the fire burning into my skin? I rub my hands along my pants to check and see if my legs are hot to the touch. He glances at my hands but quickly looks back up at me.

  “I’m processing, I guess. I’m happy that I live closer to Nat and my mom has her best friend to lean on during this time. It makes it a little easier to deal with, but it’s hard starting over,” So much for little detail. Why am I telling him these things? I barely know him. I decide to hang on to the more important details of our move. After all, I want him to like me, not run scared from me.

  “That could be a good thing, it all depends on you. I guess it would suck though, having your parents divorce when you’ve had them together your whole life,” He seems to notice how uneasy this conversation is making me and decides to change the subject. “Are you making a lot of friends?” He leans forward and stops my hands from rubbing my thighs. I hadn’t even noticed I was still doing that.

  I lift my hands up in surrender and then fold them in my lap, “Well, kind of. I’ve basically adopted all Nat’s friends. I have met a couple of people in my other classes, no one I would call a friend per say. Mostly I hang out with Natalia and Aiden.”

  “And me?” His head tilts and he smiles.

  “Yes, and you,” Butterflies dance in my belly.

  “Who else?” He reaches for my hands again. What is with him and my hands?

  I watch as he inspects my black nail polish and silver glittery accent nail. I wonder what it is he is thinking, “Hmm, do you know Shaun from English?” I notice his smile fade slightly.

  “Yea, I know him. He’s a douche.” His lip curls up in disdain as he looks at me.

  I flex my fingers in front of me, trying to figure out what he’s so fascinated with. “Really? He seems nice. I met him on my way down from fourth period. We walk the same way usually and he’s always trying to crack jokes.” I look at him and then look back at my nails, a silent question playing in my eyes.

  “That’s cool,” he replies, but I get the feeling he doesn’t really feel that way from the look on his face. He drops my hands back to my lap and sits back. I can still feel the warmth of his fingers on my skin. It’s everything in me not to reach for his hands again. How can I miss his touch already? I barely know the guy.

  He asks some more questions. I’m surprised at how attentive he is. He seems genuinely interested in what I have to say and slowly but surely, he puts me at ease. I’m careful not to divulge too much too fast.

  I notice that look in his eye, the one I can’t quite place. Like a deepness that swallows me up. I want to know more about him, but every time I try to ask, his answers are brief, like he doesn’t want to elaborate. Even if I don’t want to push him, I need to know more.

  “So, what about you? Tell me about your family. Where’d you grow up?” I make myself comfortable, kicking off my sandals and tucking my legs beneath me.

  “Me? Well, let’s see. I’m adopted, been with my parents since I was five. I have a brother and two sisters who live with my biological parents somewhere. I’m not really sure where right now.” He tugs at his ear and looks around. His voice rises a little, like he’s remembered something important. “I’m the only child at my house.” I feel bad that I pushed him to share and yet, there it is. I catch a quick glimpse of something, some feeling crosses briefly through his eyes. “And you, what’s your story, I mean besides the whole move?”

  For some reason I don’t want to blab about my volunteer work. I guess I don’t see Dante as the kind of guy who would be into a girl who volunteers her time with plants. Maybe I’m being judgmental, but the girls I see him flirting with don’t look like they’d spend much time volunteering for anything more than jumping at the chance to be with him. I decide to stick to the gist of my life, “I’m an only child. I live with my mom. My dad lives in San Diego so I don’t get to see him much anymore, but he calls me when he can. I grew up all over Southern California as a little kid because my parents moved around a lot, but we stayed in LA the longest. Hmm, let’s see what else. I’m sure you know Natalia and I aren’t really blood related, but we were raised like family.” I explain my life in as simple a nutshell as I can, then change the subject back to him. “So, you’re adopted? Did you know your biological parents?” I wince a little, worrying about asking him such a personal question. I don’t want to ignore it either, since he brought it up. Plus, I'd really rather not talk about my past.

  He lays his head back onto the cushion behind him and his shoulders sort of slump down. “Yea, I mean I knew who they were but I haven’t seen them in years. My mom took off when I was little, around three or so.” He picks at his own finger nails now, “My dad tried to take care of me, but then it got to be too much. He mostly left me with family members. I jumped around from house to house until my aunt and uncle took me in. They couldn’t have kids of their own, so I guess at first, it seemed like a good idea for them. Eventually, my parents signed over their rights and I was officially adopted when I was like 10 or so. Anyway my uncle and aunt raised me, so that’s who I consider my parents to be.” He rubs his chin, before putting his hands on his thighs and then clasping them together.

  It wasn’t lost on me that he said at first it seemed like a good idea, but I decide that’s probably not something he wants to talk about. “You said you have a brother and sist
ers?” I ask instead.

  He’s starts picking at his nails again and it’s distracting me. Is he ripping them off? What is he doing? “Yea, well, that’s the kicker. My mom came back years later and found my dad. I guess the timing was right for them. They got back together, got remarried and had more kids.” His jaw clenches before he sits back further into the couch and tears a piece of his thumb nail off.

  I put my hand out for him to give me his hand and he hands me the ripped piece of nail. Eww! I swat at it and grab his hand pulling it to me. He laughs and gives me his hand freely. I began to inspect his nails. They’re clean but they could use a trim, “Did they ever try to get you back?” Oh, my God, why won’t I stop? I feel bad about asking, but I can’t help myself. He’s so intriguing to me. “I’m sorry, I’m being rude.” I put my hands up. “You don’t have to answer that.” I pat his knee and his eyes follow my hands. I fold my hands into my lap. Maybe touching him isn’t a good idea.

  He leans forward and sticks his hands out, offering them to me again. I lean over, grabbing my purse, and dig for my nail clippers and hand them to him with a smile. He takes them and sits back, “No, its fine. Yea, they came back but I was already adopted and I didn’t want to go back with them. They didn’t fight it. I didn’t even know them. My parents have been good to me.” His mouth twists a little when he says the word ‘good’. “I mean they raised me. They’ve always provided for me. I have a roof, clothes, my car, and they put me in sports when I asked. I have no reason to let those people back in my life. They left. They can stay gone for all I care.” His eyebrows scrunch together before he forces a smile.

  “Oh.” I sigh, seeing what I now know to be the hurt in the depths of his eyes. I want to hug him. I feel so bad for the little boy in him, in this moment.

  He changes the subject to school. As he’s talking, he starts to clip his nails, but all I’m watching are his lips moving and I’m so taken aback by him. His full lips are absolutely gorgeous. He definitely doesn’t have that boyish charm. He’s handsome, very masculine. I know he’s mixed, from his brown skin tone and something I can’t quite place in his features, but I’m not sure with what exactly. I’ll have to ask Nat later. If I had to take a guess I’d say he was half Black and something else. I wonder if it’s rude to ask him. Most people don’t think I’m full Mexican since my skin isn’t dark. They’re usually caught off guard when I tell them, or they hear my last name. I wonder what he thinks I am. I can’t keep myself from watching his lips. His devilish smile is captivating and pulls at me, almost entrancing me into kissing him.