***
Dante is still torture for me. I catch glimpses of him in class hanging out with the hyena crew and he somehow seems to be hugging on one of them whenever I happen to glance their way. Sometimes I find myself walking close behind him on the way to fifth and it’s everything in me not to reach for his hand or shove him into one of the walls and, well, do things I shouldn’t be thinking of doing. Most lunches I spend with Shaun just to avoid having to see him. The times I do stay and hang out with Nat, Aiden and our other friends, I try to avoid looking at him at all costs. I hear him talking with the other girls and see them hugging on each other. It makes me sick to my stomach. I have to remind myself that I don’t have a right to be angry. Dante isn’t mine. As much as I try to shut off the part of my heart that aches for him, it seems like my heart has a mind of its own.
CHAPTER 12
The evening of homecoming Mom does my makeup and hair. She leaves my hair down with big curls at the bottom and my eyes are smoky, my lips pink. I look in the mirror and I barely recognize the girl looking back at me.
After pictures and goodbyes, Shaun and I leave. Mom texts me immediately afterwards.
Honey, have fun. Don’t worry. Let Shaun woo you. He’s one of the good ones. You deserve a good one. xx ~M
Thanks Mom, Shaun and I are just friends. Good friends and that’s all. I will have fun tonight. You behave yourself. I love you! ~R
You behave yourself! And don’t let that boy and his girlfriend get to you tonight. You look beautiful. Have a beautiful night, mi amor. xx ~M
Will do. Xoxo ~R
I see Shaun steal a curious glance my way.
I put my phone into my purse, “My mom, she wanted to hassle me about tonight. Not about you,” I immediately correct myself. “She just wants to make sure I have a good time.”
“It’s cool. You don’t have to explain every text you get, Rock. I mean, we’re not together or any—” He pauses. “I didn’t mean that rudely. I meant I didn’t want you to think you owed me any explanations.”
“No, no you’re right. I didn’t mean to be rude and texting.” I explain.
“You weren’t, you were texting your mom. You look beautiful by the way. In a friend kind of way, I mean. You weren’t kidding when you said that dress was bright. Damn! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that how it came out. It’s a nice color, for a girl. It’s pretty. It looks good on you.” He’s completely awkward tonight, probably because this is more along the lines of a date then just hanging out.
“Shaun, really it’s okay. It’s bright, I know. I like it. Besides, you’re a guy, it’s okay if you don’t.” I laugh. “I don’t want things to be odd between us. I want us to have a good time. Dance, laugh and talk like old times. Can we do that? Can we forget all the awkward stuff, please?”
He nods, “Yea, we can. Yea let me um, let me try again. So you look nice tonight. Thanks for picking a dress that included silver. How do you like my tie? Too much?” He laughs raising up his tie for me to see.
“No, not at all, it’s nice. It matches perfectly. Thank you.” I smile at him.
We pull into the already full parking lot and I take out my phone and text Nat to see if she has arrived yet. Her, Aiden, Dante and Melanie were all riding over together. She promised me everything would be cool between the guys and Shaun tonight.
I open the door to the car before Shaun gets around to doing it. I want to keep this as friendly as possible. I stand up straightening my dress and pulling on the cute little silver sheer sweater I brought. It really doesn’t even qualify as a sweater, but it matched so well and brought the whole outfit together perfectly. Plus it helped me deal with the fact that the dress was backless. The dress is a bright fuchsia color. It’s a halter with a plunging neck line. The waist cinches together with a cute silver sparkly lining then flutters out into a cute above the knee skirt with lots of different layers. My heels are also silver and I topped it all off with silver hoops and a simple silver chain with a heart charm my dad had given me for Christmas a few years ago.
Shaun puts his arm out for me to hold onto and we walk in with smiles on our faces. I don’t immediately see Nat, but Shaun sees a few of his friends and decides to chat with them. I stand there scanning the dance floor trying to pick Nat and Aiden out of the crowd.
Shaun sees me looking at the dance floor, “You want to dance?”
“Oh, no, I was checking to see if I can find Nat, but I can’t. Its fine, talk with your friends, I’m good.” I stand next to him still scanning the room.
“You sure? We can go look for Natalia if you want. It’s no big deal.” He looks at me, his eyes full of concern.
“No, no. Go ahead, really.” I say.
He slips his arm around my waist and pulls me into a side hug. I’m about to pull away, but that’s when I see him. Dante’s smack in the middle of the dance floor sandwiched between two girls. I can’t make out who it is, all I see is hair and dresses flying around. He’s got his arms up in the air and he’s grinding on the back of one girl, as the other girl does the same thing behind him. I can’t pull my eyes away from the sight of them. He’s having fun and he looks absolutely gorgeous as always. He opted for a more casual look, nice crisp jeans, a collared shirt and new shoes it would seem.
“Hey hoochie!! I missed you! You look beautiful!” I swing around to see Natalia approaching.
I scoot out of Shaun’s arm and skip over to my bestie. We look at each other and scream at the same time in our overly dramatic girly way.
“Oh my God! You look stunning!” I spin her around like a ballerina. She has a beautiful bright blue baby doll dress on.
“Look at me, look at you. Dang girl! That’s hot! Come on, let’s go dance.” She grabs my arm, tugging me with her.
She doesn’t wait for an answer, but instead drags me to the dance floor. I look back at Shaun, but he’s deep in conversation with his friend and doesn’t seem to mind that Nat has stolen me. I throw a thumbs-up his way when he glances at me and he throws one back. I feel a little more at ease knowing he doesn’t feel like I deserted him.
Nat and I reach the dance floor and go into our silly mode. I notice our other group of girlfriends dancing around and we mesh our way into the crowd of them. Aiden sees Nat and comes to steal her away. She pulls me over with them and her and I start dancing like dorks around Aiden. The three of us are cracking up. I look up to see Shaun sitting by himself at a nearby table. I wave him over and he mouths to me, ‘no’. Great, looks like my fun is over.
I walk to the table, “What’s up, why didn’t you come out there?” I scoot out a chair and sit next to him.
He turns his head toward the dance floor, not looking at me, “I thought you didn’t want to dance?”
“Shaun! Come on, Nat basically drug me out there. You gave me the thumbs up.” I whine at him.
“I know, its okay. I didn’t mind.” He mutters, still looking away.
“So then why do you look upset?” I touch his hand hoping to get his attention.
“I’m not. It’s fine. Go dance, I’m okay.” He looks at me, his smile twisted oddly.
“No, it’s okay. I’m fine too.” I try not to sulk as I sit beside him.
We sit there people watching for a while. I snap a few pictures of my friends dancing around. I try not to watch Dante, but I don’t quite succeed. His mesmerizing essence draws me in.
I hear Shaun’s chair scoot loudly away from the table, “You want anything to drink?” He finally breaks the awkward silence.
“Oh yea, that sounds good. You want me to come with?”
“No, it's fine. You can stay here or go dance if you want to. I’ll come find you.” He walks off.
I sit there torn between my fun side calling me to go dance with my friends and my need to please Shaun and not hurt his feelings again. I don’t get why he can’t have fun tonight. I feel so bad that things happened the way they did before. I want to go back to being best friends, before all the weirdness came betw
een us. I roll my eyes, partly at him and partly at myself. I hate this whole situation.
The genre changes to a country song and most of our friends head back to the tables where I’m sitting. “Hey, where’d you go, party pooper?” Aiden teases me.
“Oh, I came to find Shaun.” I explain.
“So, where’d he go?” Nat asks and I can tell she is annoyed even if she’s trying to hide it.
“To get us something to drink.” I answer.
“Oooooh I see.” She nods her head sarcastically.
“What’s that all about?” Her sarcasm is not lost on me.
“Nothing. Hey, come with me to the bathroom real quick, yea?” She sticks her hand out for me.
“Ok, Aiden can you let Shaun know I’ll be right back?” I hesitate.
“Yea, no problem.” He says.
Nat wraps her arm in mine and pulls me towards the bathroom. “Please tell me you are not going to sit there like a bump on a log all night? Rock, you deserve to dance and have a good time. You didn’t buy that dress to sit in it.” She puts her hands on her hips, glaring at me with her big green eyes.
I explain why he got upset and she still isn’t buying it. She rolls her eyes, “He’s too sensitive. He’s got to get over it already. Just dance, screw it. Either he comes and dances with you or not, but I’m not having my best friend waste this night away. Especially not in front of Dante and Mel.”
Punch me in the gut, why don’t you? Leave it to Nat to tell it exactly like it is. I wince, “Yea, about that.” I glance at the dance floor.
“Yea, that! I know you've got to be thinking about it.” She grabs my arm, directing my attention back to her.
“Well, yea. I’m not going to lie, it was difficult to say the least, seeing him tonight, with her.” I steal a glance one more time.
She grabs my chin, forcing me to look at her, “Mm-hmm. Well, he needs to know what he’s missing and what a mistake he made.” She points up and down the length of my body, “You’re going to show him. Now let’s go!” We start walking back, her dress bouncing dramatically around her.
Valerie spots us and runs up nearly knocking us over, both with her body and her alcohol laden breath, “Par-tay!! Come on girls, why the long faces?” She slurs her words at us.
“What have you been sippin’ on?” I half laugh, but my concern for her is obvious.
“Why, you want some?” She peers around to see if any of the school chaperones can hear her.
“No, I’m good.” I hold up my hands.
The three of us hook arms as we glide out onto the dance floor. I do a little spin and notice Aiden and Shaun sitting at the table watching us. Natalia teasingly motions at Aiden to come over with her finger and he can’t help himself, his grin spreading from ear to ear. I look at Shaun and wait to see if he wants to dance. He seems to think it over a second before joining me. He stiffly dances in front of me and I grab his hands to shake him loose.
“Yay!! Come on now. Let’s do this!” I start doing some crazy movements and he laughs at my silly dancing skills. Grabbing my hand, he lifts up my arm and twirls me. I spin and lose my balance knocking into someone behind me.
“Crap! Watch out!” The girl growls.
“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry.” I move my hair out of my face and look right into Melanie’s eyes; if looks could kill.
“Yea, right! Damn klutz, like you seriously think I believe you didn’t do that on purpose!” She yells into my face. But all I can see is Dante, standing beside her with his hands on her waist.
“Babe, calm down. It was an accident. She said sorry, come on.” Dante pleads with her.
Val grabs my arm and moves me a couple steps back. “Your girl needs to chill the hell out, Dante.” She snaps at him.
I’m still staring at Dante. He’s focused on Melanie, grabbing her hand and pulling her away. I swear the universe must hate me. That’s when I realize Natalia is at my side. “What just happened?” She looks me over.
“I was spinning and I bumped her. It was an accident.” I’m talking, but I don’t really know I’m talking because I can’t peel my eyes away from Dante.
“So what! What did she say?” Nat yells loudly, so Melanie can hear her.
“Nothing. She was upset, but Dante handled it. It’s no big deal.” I finally snap out of the daze I’m in. Nat gives me a stern look. I force a smile, so she knows I’m not going to cry.
“Ignore her, come on.” Val twirls and stumbles a little on the dance floor. Nat leads us towards the table where we’d been sitting before and I follow bringing Valerie along. She clearly needs a time out.
Shaun follows close behind and soon I feel the warmth of his hand on my back. I feel a sense of comfort and yet I worry about what it means to him. I side step out of his arm and grab his hand to be nice. He let’s go of my hand and walks beside me. I just hope he isn’t mad.
“Hey Shaun, can you go get us some waters?” Nat politely asks.
“Yea, sure. Be right back.” He seems to have gotten the hint.
“You okay over there?” She looks at me.
“Who me? I’m good.” I convince myself “I’m not too sure about this one though.” I say pointing over at Val who clearly has had too much to drink. She’s resting her head on her arms, on the table. Nat and I look up and see Aiden approaching.
“Hey, what the hell happened out there?” Aiden questions Nat and me.
“Ugh, long story.” Nat reaches out to hug him.
“Well, whatever happened Mel’s leaving. Dante’s pissed.” He says, as he sits down at the table.
“What’s new?” Val rolls her eyes then slumps her head back down to the table.
It’s at that moment I feel Dante, though he isn’t touching me at all. My body is tingling all over as he walks up to our table. I sit up in my chair to clear a way for air to get through to my suffocating lungs. He pulls out the chair where Shaun was sitting next to me, angling his body diagonal to me. His knee is resting on my thigh; my exposed thigh. I began to bounce my leg up and down, and then peer angrily at my leg— like it’s behaved separate from my body— before stopping. Valerie’s eyes nearly bug out of her head as she watches.
“Hey, sorry about that out there, I know it was an accident.” He explains.
“Oh yea, well, that’s me. Accident is my middle name. I hope I didn’t upset her too bad.” I cringe.
“Nah, you didn’t upset her too much. That’s just Mel.” He smiles. Oh, God, how I have missed that crooked smile. I’m amazed by his smile and the fact that we are even talking.
“She’s beautiful.” I say quietly; my voice a little shaky.
“Thanks. She’s alright.” He replies in his witty tone.
“You guys make a nice couple.” My voice comes out strained and I know he has to hear the hurt in it.
“We—,” He pauses and then mutters a simple, “Thanks.” He leans forward and warmth takes over my knee. I see his hand resting there and I feel the rise and fall of my chest speeding up as I dare to meet his gaze. My breath hitches while he gently strokes my knee with his thumb. I feel a quiver run through me and goose bumps take over. I reach for his hand, unsure what my intentions are— whether to remove his hand, or hold it. He takes my hand in his turning it over and gazing at the new design on my nails. He smiles and it draws my own smile from me instantaneously. I turn his hand over in mine and notice he could use a manicure again. His eyes twinkle in acknowledgement of the memory. I close my eyes a second, forcing a picture of this moment into my memory bank. A gentle stroke of his touch from my knee up my thigh causes a sigh to slip from my lips.
Shaun approaches without warning, “Hmm, hmm.” He loudly clears his throat behind me. “I got those waters you sent me for.” He says dryly, handing Nat the water bottles.
“Oh thanks.” I look up and force a smile, afraid of how he will react. He doesn’t return it. Instead, he stands there looking at Dante and I. Dante smoothly drops his hand, running it slowly down my leg be
fore pulling away. My body goes cold the minute he breaks contact.
“Raquel, do you want to dance?” Shaun narrows his eyes.
“Sure, yea, let’s dance.” I stand, smooth out my dress and push in the chair, resting my hands on the back of it to brace myself. “You guys coming?” I ask Nat and Aiden. Natalia nods and stands, pulling Aiden by the hand. I see her glance down at Dante and back up at me. I can’t quite figure out what she’s thinking, which is rare. Shaun turns to walk to the dance floor.
“You look great tonight, by the way.” I hear Dante mumble for my ears only. He stops my heart and I nearly trip turning around. Shaun’s puzzled look tells me he’s unaware of what caused my clumsiness. He reaches out to grab my hand and guide me onto the dance floor.
I look back. A smile escapes my lips as I feel Dante’s words render me useless. I mean to say thank you, but my lips just keep smiling at Dante.
Turning back towards Shaun I grab his outstretched hand and ignore his grimace. Just then the DJ announces it’s going to be the last dance and it’s a slow song. Damn! I finally get Shaun out there and now we have to slow dance together? He reaches for my waist right as I hold out my hand and he laughs grabbing it and wrapping it around his neck, as he places his other hand around my waist too. Well, there goes my attempt at keeping this as friendly as possible.
The song has a tantalizing beat and soon everyone is swaying along. Nat’s resting her head on Aiden’s chest as he caresses her back. Shaun begins to turn us into a slow circle and I see Dante sitting in the same spot where I left him. Our eyes meet up and he abruptly stands to his feet. I see him walking onto the dance floor heading straight to where Shaun and I are. My heart is racing one hundred miles an hour. I feel my stomach tie itself into knots and heat taking over my face. My eye starts twitching in anticipation of what he is about to do. A part of me is so worried about how Shaun will react and the other part of me is completely taken and excited at the prospect of being in Dante’s arms. He looks breathtaking as he walks towards me through the crowd. I can’t take my eyes off of him. The crooked smile on his face sends shivers through me. He gets close enough for me to reach out to him and as I began to pull away from Shaun, I see a sparkly silver dress crash into his body. He lifts Melanie up and twirls her into a circle smoothly whisking her into a sway. My heart drops; my body trembles. Shaun looks down at me baffled and unaware of what happened behind him. I immediately bury my face into his shoulder to keep him from seeing the tears threatening my eyes. He pulls me tighter to him and I’m afraid he has mistaken my signals, but I can’t create a scene so I keep dancing.
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