“And you won’t go back to Melanie?” I remind him of his promise.
“No. I won’t go back to Mel.” He agreed.
“Ok.” Now what the hell do I say to Nat?
CHAPTER 21
Nat wasn’t happy. She made me stay on the phone answering question after question. I tried my best to explain that we aren’t getting back together. I’m not having sex with him, but I do still love him. He asked me to stay and his parents know but my mom doesn’t. I’m trying to be completely honest, even though I know it’s pissing her off. After a few swear to bears I try to explain to her why I am doing it. I tell her that he promised to do better and not go back to Melanie. She asked if I told him about Malachi. I told her I hadn’t. I wasn’t sure I would. If that helped Dante keep his distance and let me go, then it was good for him to think I was with Malachi. She didn’t agree. She wanted me to be honest with him, since he was being honest with me. I knew I should, but I was afraid to give him hope. Or maybe I was scared of what I would do without that between us. We finally hung up after she got everything out. Whew, that was tough.
“Ok. Can I borrow something to sleep in?” I walk into his room and he immediately put his phone down. I couldn’t help the look that I gave him.
“It wasn’t her. I was texting my dad.” He said.
“You don’t have to explain.” I sat down on the edge of his bed.
He walked over to his drawers and pulled out an undershirt and some of his old gym shorts.
“Dante, this is going to be see through.” I held it up.
“You have a bra on.” He said matter-of-factly.
“I don’t sleep in my bra.” I laughed.
“Oh. Ok, here.” He reached for it, throwing it into the drawer and chucking another at me.” This one was black.
“Thanks. I’ll be back.” I went to the restroom to change. I stared at myself in the mirror. What was I doing? I had to get out of here before I changed my mind. Walking into the room I heard my phone start to go off on the bed. It was Malachi. Crap. I told him I would call him tonight. Oops!
“He’s calling? It’s late.” Dante raised his eyebrow.
“Yes I know, Dante, but I told him I would call him back tonight and I forgot.” I quickly explained.
“So call him tomorrow.” He said dryly.
“Ugh!” I grab the phone and walk out of the room.
“Hey Malachi. Sorry I didn’t call earlier. I had a crazy night.” I explained.
“Everything ok?” He asked.
“Yea. Fine. Thank you for asking.”
“Can you talk?”
“Actually I was getting ready to go to sleep. Can I call you tomorrow?”
“Of course. Sleep well.”
“You too.”
Dante walked out and was listening. This is so uncomfortable! “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I said.
“Goodnight Raquel.”
“Goodnight Malachi.” I hung up before Dante blew it for me.
“What was that all about?” He leaned on the wall beside me, his arm extended above his head.
“He was checking on me.” I tossed my hair over my shoulder and walked passed him swiftly as though it was no big deal. When I turned to look at him I noticed his jaw was clenched.
“So?” He straightened up and walked towards me slowly, his eyes piercing through me.
“It’s not what you think Dante.” I rolled my eyes.
“Don’t do that.” He snapped.
“What?” I snapped back.
“Roll your eyes at me like that. You look crazy.” The smile he flashed didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Are we really going to do this? Because I don’t think I can stay the night if we are going to fight the whole time.” I crossed my arms across my chest before uncrossing them and then crossing them again. The air grew uncomfortable for a second before he finally spoke up.
“Come on.” He shook his head, his face relaxing into a genuine smile before he turned to his room. I followed behind him my steps small and slow. Unsure of what else to do, I got into the bed and cuddled up under the covers. He turned off the light and lay on top of the bed covering himself with a throw blanket he stole from the living room.
“Rock?” His voice was just above a whisper. There was a hint of vulnerability I wasn’t used to hearing.
“Yes?” I turned to him, straining to see his face in the dark room.
“Do you,” He drew in a deep breath, “Do you love him?”
“No.” I answered quickly; the word slipping from my mouth without a second thought before looking away.
“Ok.” He sighed.
“Goodnight Dante.” I said.
“Goodnight Rock.”
We lay there a long time. I could tell he wasn’t sleeping. I turned my body towards his and saw him staring at me. “What?” I whispered.
“Nothing.” I could see him smiling in the dark.
“Ok. Go to sleep.” He was kind of freaking me out.
“I can’t.” He pressed.
“Why not?”
“I just can’t.” He beamed.
“Do you want me to leave?” I was thoroughly confused by his demeanor.
“No.” This time he answered quickly, his face growing serious and I knew he meant it.
I took my arms out of the blanket. “Turn over.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.” I shoved his shoulder, encouraging him to turn.
He flipped over to his other side and I put my arms under his shirt lightly scratching his back. He let out a low moan. “That feels good.”
“Shh, go to sleep.” I smacked him.
“Ok.” He laughed lightly.
I could tell he had finally fallen asleep, his breathing slowed, and his body became heavy next to me. I pulled myself to him, cuddling up to his back. He is sooo beautiful. He has no idea. God, how I love him.
***
The next morning I woke up to a tangled mess. Dante had his legs intertwined with mine. The comforter I slept with was on the floor and we both huddled under the small throw he had. He held me in his arms, my head cuddled tightly to his chest. It was so comfortable and so wrong.
“Dante?” I wiggled as much as I could.
“Hmm?” He still hadn’t opened his eyes.
“Wake up.” My voice grew louder as I tried to pry myself from him.
“Five more minutes.” He groaned, his arms tightening.
“No Dante, I have to pee.” I pulled one arm out of his hold and struggled to get the other arm loose. He grunted and let go of me. Rolling the other way, I quickly made my way to the restroom. I used my finger to brush my teeth and did what I could to make myself presentable before creeping back into the room with him.
“You don’t have to sneak, I’m awake. No one else is here.” He laughed as he rubbed his eyes before opening them slowly.
“Where are your parents?” I sat down on the side of the bed, where I had been laying.
“Working.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure what else to say.
“Come back.” He opened his arms to me. I thought it probably wasn’t a good idea, but remembering how comfortable it was, I couldn’t resist.
“Five more minutes.” I said, smiling as I laid down.
He smiled and weaved himself to me once again. My phone rang a few minutes later. I maneuvered my arm out of him and grabbed my phone from his nightstand. He would not let me go. “It’s Nat.”
“It’s early. Go away Nat.” He grunted.
I giggled. “Stop. We have to get up, Dante.” I lay the phone back down. I’d call her a little later.
“I don’t want to.” He pouted.
“Stop being a baby.” I laughed. He pulled me tighter and pushed his hips into me. It was then that I felt something press against my belly.
“Dante?” I bit back a gasp.
“Yea?” His voice raised a pitch as he sensed my concern.
“Um, you have a, um a—�
� I couldn’t say it. I didn’t know how to, I was so embarrassed.
“Oh,” He was awake now and pulling away slightly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t do that on purpose, I swear.” He was laughing.
I narrowed my eyes, “Sure, I believe you.” I couldn’t help but smile. “I think it’s time to get up.” I shook my head at him.
“I’m up.” He looked down and then back up at me.
“That’s not what I meant.” I glared at him.
“That’s not what I was referring to. I mean I’m awake.” He laughed again.
I felt my face flush. Oops.
“Are you hungry?” He politely changed the subject.
“No, I’m thirsty though.”
“Ok, stay here.” He got up and went to the door pausing a second to look back at me. “Don’t go anywhere, Rock.”
“Ok.” What is he up to? I pick up my phone and call Nat back. She grilled me the whole time Dante was gone. When he came back he had a tray with a plate of food, a glass of orange juice and a mug of coffee.
“I’ll call you back Nat, we are about to eat some breakfast.” I hung up and smiled at him. The plate had strawberries and cold pizza cut into small bites.
“A man after my own heart.” I said it before I realized the words I was saying.
“You’re damn right.” He said picking up the pizza and stuffing it into his mouth.
I shuddered a little, hating myself for the slip up. “So what now?”
“We eat?” He said, like he hadn’t noticed.
“Ok. We eat.” The smile spread through my face. I picked up the strawberry and bit into it. Juice flowed down my fingers and wrist dripping off my elbow. Classy.
“Damn, that good huh?” He laughed.
“Shut Up, Dante. As if you don’t know my butt is clumsy and embarrassing.” I gave him an evil eye.
“I happen to love your ass.” He said, smiling.
“Thanks.” The sarcastic tone didn’t go unnoticed.
We shared the coffee and neither of us touched the orange juice. When all of the pizza and strawberries were gone he put the tray on the ground and lay back onto the pillow rubbing his belly. I copied him, mocking his movements. He finally caught on and started laughing, turning over to tickle me. Immediately my arms and legs went wild, flailing all over the place.
“Don’t Dante! Don’t. I. Can’t. My stomach is full. Dante!” I squealed.
“You started it.” He laughed laying back down.
“I miss this; this right here. I miss all of the uncomplicated, fun, me, you and no one else— nothing else moments.” I confessed.
“Me too. I miss all of it. The complicated, the uncomplicated. The fun, the madness. I miss you.” He turned to me.
“I miss you too Dante. Believe it or not.” I said looking into his eyes and then quickly looking away.
“Can we do it again?” He asked.
“Dante. Don’t, please don’t.” I shook my head, turning away.
“I mean, can we sleep together again?” He clarified.
Oh. I thought about it. “Just friends?”
“Just friends. No one even has to know. Nat won’t say anything if you tell her not to. We can go back to not really talking to each other at school. You don’t have to talk to me. I’ll pretend I don’t catch you staring at me, like a creep.” He laughed.
I smacked him. “Shut up! I do not!”
“Yes you do!” He laughed.
Oh, my God, how embarrassing. He totally catches me staring. Here I thought I was slick. I bury my face.
“It’s ok. I do it too.” He confessed.
“You do?” I looked up.
“Yea, but I’m better at it than you.” He smiled.
“Nice.” I gave him a bratty look and he laughed.
“Really, can we? I won’t complicate things for you. I promise. We’ll just be friends. Secret friends. You don’t even have to tell— what’s his name.” He looked up, like he was trying hard to recall Malachi’s name.
“He won’t care.” I stared at him.
“Yea, right.” He looked at me.
“He won’t.” I insisted.
“Then he is stupider than I thought.” He said.
“Dante, be nice.” I smacked his arm.
“What kind of idiot wouldn’t care if—” he stopped himself, I’m sure realizing it wasn’t going to help his case to convince me.
“He wouldn’t care because he isn’t technically my boyfriend yet, Dante.” I explained.
“Technically?” He raised his eyebrow.
“We’ve known each other a long time and we went on a date. One date. But we hung out a lot in Mexico. Slept together.” I saw his eyes nearly pop out of his head at those words. “Stop! Not slept together like sex, Dante. We slept together on the floor. It was not the most comfortable conditions and we did our best to help each other out. It wasn’t sexual.” I said.
“Damn, Rock, you nearly gave me a heart attack!”
“Oh stop being dramatic, Dante. You know me better than that!” I snapped.
He shook his head a little before changing the subject. “So can we, or not?”
“We’ll see. Let me think about it, okay.” I said. I struggled with telling him more. Telling him that Malachi and I were really just friends and nothing more. We would never be more than that. I just wanted him to think that so we wouldn’t hurt each other again.
“Fine.” He paused then met my eyes. “What did you do on your date?”
“We ate ice cream.” I answered evenly.
“Did you kiss?” He asked.
“No.” I said flatly.
“Uh huh, he is a guy right?” The sarcasm was strong in his voice.
“Yes he is a guy, Dante. He’s a good guy, ok? I just don’t know if I want to, to be with anyone— else— anyone at all, right now. Okay?!” Whew, that was closer to the truth.
“So is that it?” He asked.
“Is what it?” I was confused.
“Was that it? Ice cream?” He asked again.
“Yea.” I couldn’t figure out where this was going.
“Cheapskate!” He laughed.
“He was not! I ended it early.” I snapped.
“Why?” He seemed really concerned suddenly.
“I don’t know. I didn’t feel like doing anything more.” That was true.
“Is he taking you to prom?” He asked.
“I don’t know yet.” I shook my head.
“Did he ask?”
“No. Not yet.” I narrow my eyes at him. What is he thinking?
“Will you go with me?” His eyes glimmer with a faint hope.
“That’s not very secret.” I say.
“So.” He shoots back.
“So, I thought we were secret friends.” I make quotes like he did.
“I thought you had a boyfriend.” He says.
“It doesn’t change anything, Dante.” I insist.
“Fine. It doesn’t change anything. Will you go to prom with me, friend?” He asks again.
“Friend?” I flinch.
“Yes, my friend. My best girl friend. Will you go to prom with me, as my date, as my friend?”
I exhaled loudly. “I don’t know.”
“Will you at least think about it?” He grabs my hand and fiddles with my fingers.
“Yes. I’ll think about it.” I waggle my hand loose.
“Ok, well don’t take too long, because I have to buy the tickets. Have you found a dress yet?” He smiles.
“No. I haven’t really looked since Nat and I went.” My eyes grow wide when I realize I’m running out of time.
“Well, start looking.” He grabs my hand again.
“Okay. Dante, I should go. Can I give you this stuff back tomorrow at school?” I pat his hand and he grabs both of them staring at me.
“Keep it.”
“Thanks.” I smiled. Quickly I went to his room and gathered my things, swiping the shirt that had my makeup all over it and met him
at the front door.
“Thank you for this, Dante. It meant a lot to me. You mean a lot to me. I hope you know that. I look forward to our new friendship.” I smiled.
“Me too. Bye, Rock.” He kissed my cheek and opened the door for me. My stomach was in knots. I began to walk out and suddenly I realized I had things on my mind that I had yet to ask. How could I have forgotten what started all of this? Recognizing the hesitation in me, Dante brought his hand up to his neck rubbing it, as though to relieve tension.
“What’s up?” He asked hesitantly.
“I was just thinking. I never did find out what happened that night at the restaurant. When you and Melanie went to the parking lot, what was it all about?” The suspicion was growing deep in my belly as I recalled her and him kissing.
“Really? It’s not important Rock. You really want to dredge all of that up right now?” His voice dripped with irritation and he shook his head at me.
“I do. I mean what does it matter, we aren’t together? We’re friends right, why hide it now?” I pushed him.
“You want to come back inside?” He opened up the door and stepped aside.
“No, I’ll sit here.” I put the stuff in my hands down and took a seat on the porch.
He walks out letting the screen door slam shut and shuffles his feet, clearly unhappy with this conversation. “Ok, just promise me you aren’t going to leave here hysterical and break up our friendship over this. You said you love me no matter what. Remember that, okay?”
“Dante, just tell me already.” I make a point to roll my eyes, since I know that annoys him.
He ignores it. “Alright. Look, I told you how I got busted and all that. Well, Mel was there. Her dad is a lawyer, my lawyer. Anyway he got her out of any trouble at all and he was able to really help me out too. She guilted me into staying friends with her the whole time. I knew you wouldn’t like that. I couldn’t exactly ignore her either. I was keeping it from you and she knew it. I wasn’t cheating on you, I promise you that. We would talk from time to time and she came over a few times, unannounced.” He winces at the last confession.
“Aiden knew.” I wasn’t asking. I knew the answer.
“Why do you say that?” He looks astonished.
“That day, at school when he was looking anxious and pulling you aside before King's Ball, it was about this.” I point at him. The anger I’m feeling is bubbling up and I can feel a tremble run through me.
Breaking Down (The Breaking Series) Page 18