Breaking Down (The Breaking Series)

by Smith, Calista

  “Yes.” He looks down and starts fidgeting with his nails, before looking up at me through the tops of his eyes. “I told you I’m an idiot. I told you, you were right to leave me.”

  “I saw you. I saw you both kissing in the parking lot that night, Dante. You said you didn’t cheat but I saw you.” I shove my finger into his chest.

  “She kissed me Rock, I swear. I never kissed her back. I wouldn’t cheat on you.” He grabs my finger and holds it.

  “Yea,” I smirk. “So how long after we broke up did you two hook up?”

  “Raquel, can we stop all of this. It’s not going to get us anywhere good.” He pleads as he lets go of my hand.

  “How long, Dante? How long?” I ball my hands into fists and clench my eyes shut.

  “That night.” He mutters.

  “That night? Are you ffffreaking kidding me, Dante!!!” My lips are tight with anger and I shudder.

  “Rock, see you want me to be honest and I try to tell you it’s not good. Why do we have to do this?” He reaches for my shoulders.

  I throw his hands off of me, “I need it! I need to know this so I don’t come back to you. I need to know what a complete idiot I was and what a complete asshole you are! That night! So why the hell were you coming to my house and calling and trying to get back with me?” I scream at him.

  “I love you, Raquel. What kind of stupid question is that? You broke my heart okay? You left me. You were right, but it still hurt like hell. I was messed up that night and I told you she showed up unannounced. I regretted it the minute it happened and I couldn’t take it back, but I still wanted you. I never wanted her. She was just there. I thought I could get you out of my head. Or maybe I knew that would keep you from ever being with me again. I don’t know.” He tries to reach for me again.

  I calm myself down and squeeze the words out, “Well, rest assured your mission was accomplished because one thing is for sure, we will not be together after that.” I stand up and yell the last part into his face, “Ever!”

  “I know. You’ve told me already.” He looked defeated and I didn’t care.

  “I’m leaving. Don’t call me.” I yelled to him over my shoulder.

  “Rocky wait. Rocky, please?” He got up and ran after me.

  I turned and looked at him, pinching my lips together to keep myself from screaming again.

  “Drive safe. Call me, please?” He muttered.

  I couldn’t even look at him, I was seething mad at this point. I left. What a complete idiot I was. Jeez, and here I was falling apart over this guy and all the while he was messing around with his ex the second we broke up. My word! Who does that to someone they supposedly love?

  ***

  Once I got home I made a call to Aiden to question why he hid the truth from me. Really, I don’t even know why I did it. I mean, I would have done the same for Nat. I get it. He apologized nonetheless. After I hung up I saw I had a text.

  Prom still? ~D

  No! ~R

  U promised. ~D

  We made lots of promises. Why should this b NE diff? ~R

  Rocky please. Don’t go back to this. ~D

  I told U not to contact me Dante! LEAVE ME ALONE! ~R

  Have it your way. ~D

  CHAPTER 22

  School again. I was late today getting to first period, so I grabbed breakfast and headed in on time for second instead. Walking along the halls and rushing to the next class I feel the dread of having to face everything that has happened between Dante and me. Maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll ignore me and think we are still being secret friends.

  A sudden flick of my right ear has me irritated and looking to see who it is, but no one is there. I hear laughing to my left and turn to see Dante as he heads into his class. Ugh. Guess he isn’t going to get the hint. I roll my eyes and walk into class.

  As soon as class was over I quickly headed to third. The last thing I wanted was to give him another opportunity to mess with me. Now that third period is over I have to see him at lunch. Hopefully he has enough common sense not to mess with me there.

  “Hey Nat, Aiden.” I greet them and launch my backpack to the ground, sitting on it beside Natalia.

  “Hey girl!” She gives me a side hug. Aiden silently waves as he eats his lunch.

  Nat starts going on about prom and the shoes she wasn’t able to find over the weekend. I’m half listening but I can’t help glancing up at Val and Dante. They are sitting next to Lidia and Parker, but it’s the way they are sitting. Dante has his legs wrapped around Val and she is leaning back into him. They are sharing pizza and laughing away, like a couple. Aiden notices me staring and nudges Natalia who is completely engulfed in her conversation and oblivious.

  “I thought you said he didn’t like her?” Nat seems irritated.

  “He said that. I thought she didn’t like him, like that?” I narrow my eyes.

  “Val has always had a crush on Dante.” She says.

  “Hmph!” I’m rendered speechless.

  I immediately averted my eyes, not wanting them to catch me staring. Surely Dante wasn’t hooking up with Val. He said he wasn’t interested in her like that. They were just friends. Val assured me she wasn’t hooking up with him. The rest of lunch I felt sick to my stomach. I looked one last time right as the bell rang. Val had her arms around his neck and Dante quickly kissed her cheek. I felt my hands grow clammy and hurriedly wiped them on my pants, before standing up.

  “Hey you ready to go to class?” Val was suddenly standing over me.

  “Oh, Yea. Is it time?” I acted like I was oblivious.

  “Well, yes and I kind of wanted to talk to you. Can we walk together?” She reached her hand out to help me up.

  “Yea, Ok. Give me a second.” I waved her hand off and jumped up, gathering my bag and rushed over to throw my trash away. It’s going to be okay. They’re just friends. You’re being jealous. Val would never do that. Dante would never— oh, who am I trying to kid. I walked back to where she was standing. “What’s up Val?”

  “So remember when you asked about Dante and me?” My head shot up and my heart immediately sped up. I nodded fearing what was about to be said. “He told me he asked you to prom and you said no. Is that true?”

  “He told you?” I was shocked.

  “Yea, we were talking and I told him I didn’t think I was going because I hadn’t found anyone to go with. He said he didn’t have anyone to go with either because you turned him down.” She explained.

  “Uh huh?” Get to the point Val. I could feel my stomach ready to drop. He wouldn’t. Oh yes he would. Damn him!

  “I was wondering if you would mind if I went with him. He asked me and I told him I needed to check with you first. If it would upset you, than I won’t do it.” She searched my face and I was sure the hurt was written all over my expression. “You can take your time to think about it Rock. Just keep in mind, you know, that he has to buy tickets, so he’s going to want my answer soon.” She said gently.

  “No, it’s fine. Go ahead, Val. I’m glad you can go. It’ll be fun.” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

  “Are you sure?” She gave me a small smile.

  “I’m sure.” I hugged her.

  “Ok. Thank you, Rocky.” She smiled and hugged me back. I pushed back the tears threatening behind my eyes. “Let’s go to class.” I said tightly. I wasn’t upset with her, just sad that Dante decided to move on with my friend after all.

  “Care if I catch up, I want to let Dante know so he can get tickets soon.” Her steps seemed to suddenly bounce.

  “Oh yea, of course.” Not meeting her eyes I rushed off to class.

  Once on the steps of my classroom I couldn’t hold back any longer. The tears overwhelmed and rushed me before I could rein them in. The teacher was standing at the door greeting the students as they shuffled in and immediately noticed my face.

  “Miss Garcia, could you please wait here?” He gestures towards the side of him opposite of the door. I
walk over to his side facing the wall, trying to gather myself.

  “Rocky?” I hear Val behind me and she sounds worried.

  “Go to class Valerie. Raquel will be in shortly.” Mr. Lopez sternly tells her. I hear her sigh and walk in.

  A part of me is suddenly scared. I gather my nerves and face him, standing a good distance away, my hands crossed across my chest.

  “Miss Garcia, would you like to talk about what is bothering you?” He finally says when the majority of the class is inside and seated.

  I shake my head no, but don’t speak.

  “Would you like a minute to gather yourself before joining us in class? Its review today and you are doing quite well, please take all the time you need. I’m writing you a pass, in case you would like to visit the restroom.” He walks into class without waiting for an answer and returns a minute later with a pass. I quickly grab it and shove it into my pocket.

  He frowns, “I don’t know who has you so upset, but if it has anything to do with that boy I’ve seen you leave here with, I will say do not waste your tears. There will be plenty of circumstances in your life far more important and worthy of your tears.” He smiles and returns to class, closing the door behind him. I sit on the nearby steps and put my head in my hands, resting my elbows on my lap.

  “Raquel?” I look up at the sudden sound of Aiden’s voice.

  “Aiden?”

  “What’s wrong?” He walks up and sits beside me.

  “Nothing.” I smile feebly.

  “Are you sure? Did Dante do something?”

  “No. Not anything I didn’t cause.” I wait a moment before clarifying. “Dante and Valerie are going to prom together. He asked her. I told him to. He said no at the time, but I guess when he asked me and I said no, he decided to ask her after all.” I explain.

  “So did you change your mind? Did you want to go with him?”

  “No. Not really. What he did with Melanie, you know, it changed everything. I thought I was ready to forgive him and then I found out about that and I realized he isn’t ever going to change. I’m never going to trust him.”

  “It sucks because he was trying to do the right thing. I’m not trying to defend him, because I know he messed up. But he was trying to be honest and tell you the truth, so that you could trust him.” He says, and then sighs. “Guess you’re right, it’s never going to work for you two.”

  “I know I’m being unfair, Aiden. I can’t get mad if he moves on. I can’t stop him and Val when I’m the one who told him to do it.” I look at him and let my head fall back down to my hands again.

  “Yea, well, I can’t argue with that. It is kind of setting him up, if you get mad at him after you told him to.” He says.

  “I know. But it still hurts, ya know.” I look up at him.

  He hugs me from the side. “I know kiddo. You’ll get over him, he’s a douche.” He laughs. I know he is only trying to make me laugh and I appreciate his attempt.

  “I hope so. I mean, I know that things would be better for both of us, if I would get over him already.”

  “If you both would get over each other. Ok, I got to go. You going to be okay?” He reaches out his hand to help me stand.

  “Yea, I have a pass.” I stand up and flash my pass.

  “See ya later.” He laughs and walks into class.

  ***

  Reaching my last period of the day I take my usual seat, quite early.

  “Hey Raquel.” Shaun sits in the seat beside me, like he used to when we were friends.

  “Shaun, what makes you think it’s okay to talk to me? I mean you never talked to me before and lately you seem to think it’s ok to come over and make small talk and I’m wondering why? Who said that was okay? I don’t want to talk to you. I have nothing I want to say or discuss with you! Go away, now!” Not hiding my annoyance towards him, I snap away at him and his mouth nearly drops. He doesn’t say a word, instead grabbing his bag and walking back to the spot he had taken to before. I shift in my seat uncomfortable with the attention I’ve drawn to myself. That’s when I look up and see that Dante is sitting across the room with a huge smirk on his face. Clearly he was here to catch the show too. I roll my eyes and open my book, trying to look busy.

  U kno U look crzy when U do that! ~D

  Go AWAY! ~R

  Cant I hv class. ~D

  LV ME ALONE! ~R

  Do you really want that? Before you answer, be honest. Cause I will. But you better mean it. ~D

  I look up at him. His piercing eyes, the serious look of his face, the way he seems to look right through me, right to my heart. Why can’t I get over him? He’s hurt me so much. Yet he has captured my heart in a way that no one else ever has. He has almost broken every boundary, nearly torn down each wall and he has succeeded in rendering me incapable of resisting him. How do I let him go? How do I get over Dante? I shrug at him. I really have no clue. I need him to walk away, I can’t do it. I can’t ask him to, I can’t resist needing him. I can’t decide. He shakes his head at me in frustration.

  That’s what I thought. ~D

  Hv fun @ prom. ~R

  I intend to. ~D

  I’m sure U do. ~R

  U cant B mad? U tld me 2. ~D

  Don’t tell me what to be, or do! I can do and say and be anything I damn well please to. ~R

  Yes I knew how ridiculous I was being. I didn’t care. With Dante, all rational went out the window.

  Uh huh. Ok. U do that. ~D

  I will! ~R

  Fine ~D

  FINE!!!!!!!!! ~R

  I glare at him from across the room. He won’t look at me, instead concentrating on his book. Ugh! He irritates me so much. The bell finally rings after a while and I hurry out of class, not even stopping at our usual spot. I go to my car and quickly head home. I have to volunteer today and I’m not even looking forward to it, my heart isn’t in it. I walk into the nursery, willing myself to get through it so I can hurry and go home. When I finally do, I call Malachi.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Malachi.”

  “Raquel?”

  “Yea, what are you doing?”

  “Nothing. Where have you been?”

  “I’m so sorry. Senior year, ya know.” Trying to come up with a way to explain.

  “Yea, I hear ya. Same here, too. I’ve missed you.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

  “I missed you, too.”

  We quickly get back into our comfortable conversation. I decide to talk things through with my friend. He’s always been so easy to talk to. He freaks when I tell him what happened after I left from the mall.

  “So you didn’t actually sleep with him?” He doesn’t seem to believe me.

  “No I didn’t sleep with him, like that. We slept. We kissed though. I was losing my mind, because I knew I had questions. I knew that he was back with her. I knew he was hiding things from me. And let’s face it; we all know I haven’t been exactly honest with him either.”

  “And yet you still can’t get over him?” He says.

  “I know. I’m hopeless.” I sigh.

  “No, you need a distraction.” He laughs.

  “Oh?” I perk up.

  “We should invoke operation fake boyfriend after all.” He laughs.

  “I can’t promise you it will work, Malachi. I suck at hiding my feelings for him. Plus, I don’t know if I can fake it with you. I don’t want this to come between our friendship.” I whine.

  “I promise it won’t, Raquel. I’m not in a serious relationship right now. I have my future to think about and realistically it won’t allow for me to have room for anyone else in it. Not to be harsh. Besides, I know you love Dante. Maybe this is what you need to give yourself time to let him move on. Does that make sense? No strings. No pressure. Just two friends having fun, so the guy you’re in love with can move on and you can find some peace.” He says.

  “Just fun?”

  “No matter what, we’ll still be friends. I think we’ll always be
friends.” He reassures me.

  ***

  The days pass on and Malachi and I haven’t actually hung out, but we video chat every night. He finally asked me to prom and I went ahead and bought the tickets for us, which he insisted on reimbursing me for.

  Natalia is happy with our arrangement. Of course she’s well aware of the exact nature of our relationship, if you will. She, of course, gave me her word that no one but us three would know.

  The problem with operation fake boyfriend is it still hasn’t helped alleviate my jealousy towards Val and Dante. Dante and I haven’t talked; just avoiding one another instead, but Val and I finally did. She called me after a few days of me avoiding her. I explained the best I could that I wasn’t mad at her. I am happy for her. I also explained that I knew how unfair I was being towards the two of them for acting so jealous. She understood and explained that she would give him up if at any point I decided it was going to come between our friendships. I couldn’t do that to her, she was trying so hard to spare my feelings, despite her long time crush on Dante. I told her that Malachi and I have been talking and I was ready to move on. I know she’ll go back and tell Dante.

  ***

  Two weeks till prom and I had to get on the ball. Val, Natalia and I headed to LA to do some shopping.

  “Okay, be honest, girls; this one or this one?” Val holds up the two dresses she’s narrowed it down to.

  “Try the red one on again.” Natalia says.

  “Okay, I wasn’t going to say anything because, I don’t know, it seemed a little awkward, but Dante really doesn’t care for red. Maybe the blue one instead?” I suggest.

  “Oh my gosh, you’re right. Thank you Rocky.” She quickly discards the red dress opting for the light blue she held in her other hand. “I’m going to try it on one more time.” She goes back into the dressing room for the umpteenth time.

  “Wow, that was big of you.” Natalia eyes me.

  “I know he doesn’t like the color. I was doing it for her, not him.” I avoid looking her way.

  “Mmm.” She narrows her eyes.

  “What?” I look at her.

  “You. Are you going to be able to handle this? I know you Raquel. It just about killed you to see him with Mel. This is Valerie. Our friend, Valerie.” She puts her hands on her hips.