The Widows Choice

by Hildie McQueen

  "I was," Mary Ellen pulled her shawl around her although she was not cold. "Just not sure what to say. I don't want to go."

  "Then don't."

  His statement made her look up to him with wide eyes. "You can't ask me that. We don't know each other well enough, Jerrick. I have to go, my sister is counting on me."

  With an exasperated huff, he raked his fingers through his hair and looked up at the sky. "You said there was other family. Doesn't her husband have people there in Billings? It could be they are only asking you because you're not married, because they figure you don't have any other obligations."

  "It's true." Mary Ellen didn't resist and reached to cup his face. "It may not be for long. I'm hoping a couple months at most."

  He remained silent, not moving away. She realized he'd not made any proclamations, given her no real reason for why he didn't want her to go. Yes, they'd walked a couple times. He'd kissed her once, but other than that, they'd formed more of an easygoing friendship than anything else.

  This was the first time she got any indication he felt something for her. Or maybe it was just her imagination.

  More than anything Mary Ellen wished he’d promised to court her. Request she entertain the idea of a future together. "Why are you upset?" She opened the door for him to express his feelings. "Is there a reason you wish me to stay in Colter Valley?"

  His wide shoulders lifted and lowered. "You're happy here. Have a good life with Charlie and Joe. Seems to me anyway."

  "I do." Her heart broke when he didn't speak of anything between them. "Charlie already told me I could come back whenever I'm done with caring for my sister. I don't expect it will be forever. It's a bit of a sacrifice. But when it comes to family, we should do for each other, don't you agree?"

  He nodded and looked past her to the bunkhouse. "I'd do anything for Rafe, so I understand."

  Mary Ellen walked away from him blinking back tears. It was silly to cry for something not lost, as it was never going to be. Like a fool she'd allowed herself to hope. Allowed her heart to begin to feel something for Jerrick. At thirty, she was too mature to be considered for marriage. She knew this and shouldn't have been so silly as to wish for a man like him to want her.

  "Hold up, Mary Ellen, you sure are in a hurry tonight," Jerrick caught up with her and took her elbow.

  "I have much to do, pack and all. Just getting a bit of fresh air before going back inside."

  He cleared his throat. "I don't want you to leave Mary Ellen. Too soon after getting here and all, didn't expect to meet someone like you."

  What was he trying to say? She held her breath hoping he'd say more, be clearer. Instead he let out a breath.

  "But I understand when it comes to family you have to do what is best." He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on her mouth. "I'll be here when you get back, Mary Ellen."

  With that he walked away. She eyed a rock and considered picking it up and throwing it at his back.

  "Ugh!" Mary Ellen growled and dashed inside, slamming the kitchen door behind her. There was too much to get done before heading to town the next day to catch the evening train. She wasn't about to waste time moping over a man. Yet, he had said he'd wait for her. That was something, at least.

  "There you are," Charlie said walking into the kitchen. "I'm going to help you pack..." She stopped and her eyes widened. "Are you crying?"

  "No," Mary Ellen said wiping at the corner of her eye with the back of her hand. "Maybe a little."

  "Oh, dear." Charlie neared and wrapped her arms around Mary Ellen. "Sit. I'll fix some chamomile tea. It will help us both calm our nerves."

  She sniffed and obediently sat. "It's only for a few weeks, but I am going to miss being here. It's my life now."

  "The days will go fast and before you know it, you'll be back home."

  Home. That's what she'd wanted to hear, this was now her place, where she belonged.

  "Thank you," Mary Ellen said no longer pretending not to cry. "I am so thankful for you, Charlie. That you allow me to live here."

  "Allow you?" Charlie gave her and alarmed look. "You belong here Mary Ellen and don't you ever forget it. This is as much your home as it is mine. Daniel was your brother longer than he was my husband. Don't you ever feel you are here as my guest or because I allow it."

  She hiccupped and giggled. "Don't scream at me."

  "Oh you," Charlie leaned over and kissed her cheek. "You are the closest thing to a sister I could ever wish for."

  They drank tea and planned what Mary Ellen would take with her. Finally Charlie couldn't hold back any longer. "Did Jerrick declare himself?"

  "What?" Mary Ellen was shocked at the question. "No, of course not. He's younger than me and we are just friends."

  "Hmm," Charlie gave her an incredulous look. "He doesn't see you as just a friend. His gaze tracks your every movement. You should see the looks he sneaks toward you when you're not looking."

  Although her friend's words lightened her heart, she couldn't believe them after the talk she'd had with him earlier. "I think you have a romantically vivid imagination."

  "No, it's the truth," Charlie told her. "You need to hold on to the thought. That man will be waiting for you when you return. I would bet my grandmother's china on it."

  "You don't have any china," Mary Ellen retorted.

  "If I did I would bet it." Charlie lifted her cup and looked at her over the rim. "So what did he say?"

  "Not much. Tried to convince me not to go. Said my family was taking advantage of the fact I'm not married. Then said he didn't want me to go but didn't make much of a case."

  "Men have a hard time with emotions, you know," Charlie insisted. "But for now we'll get you packed and worry about what to do about Jerrick later. Because one thing I know."

  "What is that?" Mary Ellen asked.

  "You and him. There's something there."

  Mary Ellen pushed back from the table. "Come on, let's get to work. Bring your imagination with you."

  They laughed as they went to Mary Ellen's bedroom.

  Chapter Ten

  "Eeek!" At Charlie's scream Rafe raced to where she ran to the side of the house. At once he ascertained something in her garden had spooked her and he waved off Joe and Jerrick who looked toward him from the corral.

  She was laughing when he reached her and looked up to him with cheeks flushed and eyes bright. "Darn snake scared me half to death. It crawled over my hand. They are out to get me. I feel silly making such a fuss, please go back to whatever you're doing."

  "That would startle anyone." He moved to the garden and toed around the plants with his boot. "It's gone, you must have ran it off with your screams."

  Charlie moved with caution to stand beside him. She looked down. "I'm normally not so squeamish, have seen plenty of snakes at a distance. Never had them so close like the one on the road and now this one. It touched me." She shuddered before kneeling onto a folded mat and lifting her small spade. "I'm fine, sorry to have bothered you."

  Seizing the opportunity, he lowered next to her and began pulling weeds. "Don't have much to do now. Day's pretty much gone."

  Charlie couldn't figure out what to do once Rafe began weeding with earnest, clearing neat paths between her plantings. He worked efficiently, not seeming to mind the mundane chore.

  "Did you ever think you'd end up living in a small town in Montana?" Charlie asked him.

  He scratched at his jawline in thought. "No, always figured I'd live and die in Texas on my family's farm. Never aspired to go anywhere until just recently. Then for some reason I felt a pull to move on. When Pa died and all I had was the house and land, I didn't think twice about selling." He looked to her and butterflies fluttered in her stomach. "What about you? What did you envision for yourself?"

  "A quiet life as a wife and mother. Thought I'd remain in my hometown near Boston in a small house, with a bunch of children, married to a man who worked during the day and joined us for supper." In spite of herself,
she let out a sigh. "But I love it here. Colter Valley has grown on me. It is such a beautiful place, I can't imagine going back to the city. Yet, it can be lonely."

  Rafe continued to work. She'd not seen her garden so orderly in a long time. "I can't imagine living in a city."

  She smiled. "It has its good points. Activity, people, culture. There are so many gatherings, balls, dinners and such. A very busy life."

  "It must have been an adjustment for you."

  "Not as hard as I expected," Charlie stood and dusted her skirts. "Now I must see about supper. Thank you for helping me. The garden looks better than ever."

  He sauntered away while she followed his progress. He was a sight, with a broad back that narrowed to slender hips and a slight bow to his legs, she could not help but admire Rafe Preston. When a sigh escape, she gasped and hurried into the house.

  *

  Sounds of night never failed to fascinate Rafe. However, tonight it annoyed the daylights out of him. It had been a long day since he and Joe had done the work, which was normally divided three ways. Jerrick had gone with Charlie to see Mary Ellen off at the train station half a day's ride away.

  His friend had moped since finding out Mary Ellen was leaving and Rafe thought it interesting. He'd never known Jerrick to become attached to a woman until this one. In his opinion, when Mary Ellen returned, something would blossom between the two.

  Things however remained the same between him and Charlie. At suppertime, most days she joined them and did not seem ill at ease around him. The same was not true for him. Each time she brushed her hair back with her hand, he imagined how those same fingers had dug into his shoulders.

  When she spoke, the timber of her husky voice sent him back to the sounds she'd made when they'd kissed. A type of purr that had made his toes curl.

  If ever her eyes met his, he recalled how bright they'd become when she'd looked down at him while perched on his chest. And that in itself is what kept him up most nights. The thought of the weight of her body over his. Even with a rock digging into his backside, the feel of her suppleness had felt right. Perfect even.

  He grumbled, turned sideways and punched at the roll under his head. Damn if only he'd not spoken the words. Had waited to think things through before blurting out and telling her it was best to pretend what happened had not. Instinctively, he'd wanted to protect himself, figuring she'd try to let him down easy. Her reaction had astonished him. It was as if he'd hurt her, not made things easier. Now it was too late, it wasn't as if he could go back and undo it.

  Warm air wafted through the window, not enough to cool him down. With a soft curse, he got up and stalked to the front door. He went outside and circled the main house. Rafe told himself he ensured all was well, but in truth he hoped to catch a glimpse of Charlie.

  The light was on and he could look through the window into the front room. She sat at a chair before the fire, in her lap a book. But she did not look at the pages, instead, her gaze was fixed at the flames. When she shuddered and wiped her eyes, his chest constricted. Of course, she cried tonight. Her friend was gone. Rafe rapped softly on the window pane and she turned.

  Charlie got to her feet and rushed to the door throwing it open. "Is something wrong?" Her wide reddened eyes met his. He'd never seen anything more beautiful.

  "No. I couldn't sleep and since you were up hoped I could come in and make some tea or something. Would it be all right?"

  She looked behind her to the chair where her shawl lay across the arm of it. "Yes, of course. I—I am not dressed, but I suppose it's all right." Awkward, she took a couple steps back to allow him in.

  When he stepped through the doorway, she remained still, her eyes downcast. Rafe's chest constricted at the sadness she exuded. Before he could think otherwise, he pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her. "Mary Ellen will be back before you know it." He told her unable to keep from pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "You'll see."

  Her arms went around his waist and she laid her head on his chest. At her shuddering sigh, it was obvious how much she missed this, being held. Touched.

  "It's so much," she said her voice muffled by his clothes. "I am tired."

  Rafe cupped her chin and lifted her face to him. "It's understandable you feel that way tonight. But it's not so bad."

  "I suppose maybe I'll feel better in the morning."

  Long lashes clumped together by tears and the slight redness to her pert nose only made her more beautiful. Rafe lowered his mouth to hers, pressing against her lips as softly as he could asking permission.

  With a release of breath she granted it and deepened it, pushing up to her toes to kiss him harder. Her lips parted and he slipped his tongue in, sliding to touch hers.

  Charlie splayed her fingers against his back and pushed her body against his. The action sending currents of heat through him and although his head screamed that he should pull away before it was too late, every instinct kept him there in the wonderful warmth and embrace of the most magnificent woman he'd ever known.

  Ever so slowly, he slid his hands down her sides enjoying the flare from her waist to her hips. Enticing and supple, it was all he could do to keep from moaning when she pressed her breasts against his chest. Charlie Kennedy could be his undoing.

  He lifted his face just enough to speak into her ear. "I didn't mean those words. What I said when coming back from town. It was an effort to keep from putting you in the position to have to do it. I want to get to know you."

  Golden specks seemed to twinkle in her hazel eyes. "I can't stop thinking about you. About us." She bit her bottom lip and her cheeks reddened.

  "Me, either." He pressed a soft kiss on her lips. "You are why I couldn't sleep tonight."

  "Kiss me again." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I want it so much."

  This time there was more urgency, neither held back as they clashed against each other. Her fingers raked through his hair and returned his kisses with as much ardor as he gave.

  Moments later, she pulled away breathless and smiled up at him. "I am not sure if whether to be mortified or unreasonably happy at this moment."

  His own lips curved. If it were not for being uncomfortably aroused, he would give over to the lightness in his chest at her expression. "Be happy, Charlie."

  "What about us...this?" Before she could continue speaking, he kissed her again, this time ensuring to keep it more chaste.

  "How about we take it day by day and see where it leads." He hoped it led to her bed eventually, but for now he'd settle for this. Touching. Kissing. Her wonderful body against his.

  "Very well." Charlie took his hands. "Now how about you put the kettle on and I get my shawl. I can't very well prance about in my nightgown."

  Her attempt at gaining control over the situation and her breathing was adorable. As she walked toward the chair the silhouette of her body became visible thanks to the fire burning brightly in the hearth. Another gift she gave him, although unwittingly.

  Joe turned one way and then another admiring himself in the mirror she held up. "I have to say, this is the finest shirt I own. I don't think I can wear it to work and such."

  "I made two, the ones you have are threadbare. But it's up to you when you want to wear them." Charlie looked up to see Rafe watching them from the doorway.

  "Looks nice, Joe," he said and older man flushed.

  "Your turn," Charlie motioned him over. "Try this on."

  She'd already measured Jerrick and made his. Now she had one cut and basted so Rafe could try it on for size. "Put it on with care. I need to pin it."

  Moments later she could barely keep herself from sticking a pin into either her finger or Rafe's side as she pulled the fabric together to pin it.

  He was obedient as she told him to hold still with his arms out to the sides. "There is no need for you to go to all this trouble," he repeated. "I've got three shirts. Planned to get another pair in town."

  "Are you turning down my gift?"
She slid him a playful glance. "Jerrick was much more appreciative."

  The movement of his throat when he swallowed took her attention. "No, ma'am. I'll certainly will never turn down such a caring gift."

  "Good."

  She hummed as she pinned and then helped to remove his shirt so not to prick him. The action seemed so intimate, especially when he stood before her shirtless. Charlie scrambled for a neutral subject. "I have to admit the combination of the tincture with the herbs you recommended and eating more red meat have helped me tremendously. I haven't felt ill in weeks."

  He pulled on his shirt. "I'm glad to hear it." When Rafe neared she waited for what he'd do or say. His hand engulfed her smaller one. "Thank you for such a thoughtful gift, Charlie."

  After he walked out, for a few moments, Charlie remained standing in the middle of her sewing room with a goofy grin on her face.

  The next night Rafe had another sleepless night. This time it was different, he didn't feel well. Just what he didn't need. To get sick.

  "Can't say I remember a day that I rose before you," Jerrick nudged at his bunk with his foot. "You sick or somethin'?"

  Rafe stretched and yawned, he found himself not ready to face another day of hard work. Never one to dawdle, he sat up and swung his legs to the side of the bed. "Yeah, didn't sleep well at all. Every muscle in my body aches."

  "You don't look good," Jerrick observed his head cocked to the side. "Comin' down with something?"

  As the day progressed Rafe felt worse, until he finally gave up and headed back to the bunkhouse where he made a strong cup of coffee and drank it before stripping and climbing back into the bed. Not a few moments later, he began to shake uncontrollably not able to get warm enough.

  "Rafe?" He opened his eyes to find three faces looking down at him. Charlie's hand on his brow, while Jerrick and Joe watched with matching worried expressions. "There you are. How do you feel?"

  He opened his mouth to speak only to find it dry as a dustbowl. The attempt to clear his throat didn't work either. "How long?" he croaked out. "What day is it?"