The Zombies of Lancaster

by Frank Weltner

  "We all did it," her husband reminded her. "You and I spent one year in the city, and we enjoyed it a great deal. Just remember that."

  "I never liked it much. I missed the farms and the Amish food. Twinkies weren't nearly as good as mom's blueberry pie. And I never liked the crowds. I had to fight for every inch of space."

  "I liked it."

  "Dreadful place."

  "Well, we went, and Ruth went. Just get over it."

  "I'm worried about her."

  "You are always worried. She'll be all right when the fever drops. Best to make her some chicken soup and get her well again."

  Hannah kissed Jacob. "We'll get her well soon enough, but I'll tell you right now, she'll just get up and go back to New York City to finish her running wild experiences."

  "It's all right," Jacob said. "Let's remember, she has a right to discover other ways outside of Lancaster's little close-knit community like all the other children. If she doesn't find out what its like out there amongst the English, she'll think she's missed something in her life. Best to get her curiosity fully amused when she's young. That's the way we settle them down as real Germans on our farms, you know. She'll settle, Hannah, but she'll do it only after she gets some of that young craziness out."

  Hannah closed her eyes a moment and prayed quietly to herself. "Lord, help Ruth to get well. May she settle, marry a nice Amish boy, and be as happy as Jacob and I are..."

  #

  The next day when they went to wake Ruth, she was no longer in bed. Now, they'd have to find her.

  Jacob walked outside to look for his daughter. Hannah, his wife, was right behind him. "Ruth!" Hannah called. "Where are you, dear girl?" Jacob looked this way and that.

  "It's the darnedest thing when people get sick," the old man said. "They can get so feverish they just get up and start staggering around. The fever takes and them does the dangedest things to them."

  "Ruth!" Hannah called. "It's your mom, Ruth. I need to get you back in bed, baby girl!" Hannah Schwarz was not used to having her daughter take off so rudely when she was under her care. This just wasn't like her.

  "What do you think is going on here, mamma?" Jacob asked his wife. "We gotta find her before she gets sicker and sicker."

  "I don't like the looks of it. I'm really worried."

  They checked the barn. The animals had been set loose, except for a pony that sprawled atop the floor. It was red with blood oozing from what looked like an animal bite.

  "Oh, my god, Hannah! Look at the colt!"

  "A wolf must have gotten in!"

  They felt the animal. It was still warm, so it hadn't been bitten long ago. Jacob grabbed a pitchfork and a hoe which he gave to Hannah. "It's best to be armed, honey. That wolf may be right here ready to spring on us."

  They checked each stall as well as the feed bins. No wolf. No daughter.

  "I hope Ruth hasn't been attacked like that poor colt."

  They walked to the end of the barn and looked out over the corrals and fields. In front of them was the wolf, and it had been eaten as well. A hole in its neck still gushed blood.

  Not only that but the sixteen additional head of cattle and other livestock were lying about half eaten same as the wolf and the colt.

  "Oh, God have mercy!" Hannah said.

  A group of half-dead people stumbled in the fields. They seemed covered in blood from head to toe.

  "What hath Jehovah wrought here?" Jacob muttered.

  A person suddenly appeared behind them. It was their daughter, Ruth. She was also completely covered in blood like all the other people staggering in the fields just outside their barn. The gaze in her eyes seem deadly blank. The whites had turned orange with red centers inside the iris.

  "Ruth, what's wrong, honey? Did that wolf get you, too? Come here to momma. I'll take care of you."

  "She can hardly walk," Jacob said.

  In an instant she was on them, tearing their throats, ripping open their intestinal walls, and pulling their guts from them. She stuffed them into her wickedly smiling mouth and chewed on them perversely as her parents screamed in horror and agony.

  "We finally found our little girl, Jacob," were the last words either of them uttered.

  Ruth knelt and ate from her parents. Then, she went from animal to animal and fed from them. Several hours later, her parents resurrected as the living dead. They stumbled alongside their daughter towards their neighbors' farms, seeking their delicious human blood and flesh to still their newly discovered hunger for living human matter. Their hands grasped at the air. They reached forward searching for nothing in particular. Their reunited family had been suddenly caught inside the angry jaws of a resurrected death. The Schwartz's and twenty other people walking alongside and covered in blood shambled through the fields, staggering this way and that, barely able to walk at all. On the way, Hannah noticed a small robin on the ground. She bent down and pushed it into her mouth and tasted its delicious warm blood flow within her ripping teeth and across her tongue as she chewed into its tenderness. Its blood ran down across her chin and onto her dress, but Hannah never noticed, nor did Jacob or Ruth. They just gazed ahead at the farm belonging to their Nephew, his wife, and kids. With any luck they'd make an excellent meal. Their farmhouse was straight ahead. It bobbed up and down in front of them as they approached. The house was centered inside their outstretched hands.

  Their relatives saw them coming and unlocked the door.

  "Hello, Hannah," Elizabeth said. "Nice to see you."

  It was her final statement. Hannah and Ruth were upon her, tearing away her throat. Her husband Abram also fell to the floor. Their screams filled the house, arousing their son whose throat was immediately ripped apart just as soon as he ran into their room.

  An hour or so later, they were partly gutted. Nonetheless, they suddenly awakened. They stood up in mechanized jerks with their hands outstretched and extended directly forward. They were very thirsty and hungry for both blood and flesh. Together with Jacob, Hannah, and Ruth, Abram, and Elizabeth Schwarz, they shambled forward toward the next farm where a few more of their Amish relatives had settled. They lived just around the bend in the corn field. As they walked through the corn, their hands grabbed the giant grasshoppers that nibbled on the corn day and night. They shoved their crunchy green grasshopper bodies into their mouths and swallowed them.

  They tasted fresh and juicy.

  Not as good as their relatives on the next farm just around the bend in the corn field would soon taste.

  And the next.

  And the next.

  And the next....

  Their arms reached forward in a rather crudely erratic ecstasy as they stumbled in a deadly old man's gait toward their goal. Their hands reached blindly forward as they walked.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Festival

  Aiden checked out the pie tasting booths. He went for the samples first. The peanut was old stuff to him, so he opted for the newest fruity flavors, selecting Strawberry Mary, Blueberry Billie, and Caramel Nun. They were pretty good. Their tastes were amplified. As he nibbled each piece their tastes overwhelmed his buds.

  "Really good shit!" Aiden said.

  "What did you say, young man?" the booth lady asked.

  "Sorry, Mam. It was just so good, I guess I got carried away. I'll try to act nicer next time around."

  The lady smiled.

  "You are that nice sheriff's son, aren't you?"

  "Yes, mam, I am."

  "He is so handsome. Tell you what, I won't report you, because I know he'd put you in jail for that,” she joked, “but I need something from you in return to keep my mouth shut."

  "What's that?" Aiden asked.

  "I want you to promise to let me know if your mom and dad split, so that I can have first dibbies on him as my husband!" The woman cackled and slapped her hips.

  "My, your daddy is just so super fine, son. Let me tell you! Now, I'm just kidding. I know they'll never split up in a thousand y
ears! So, you get on and enjoy yourself. What's your name?"

  "Aiden."

  "Well, I have a nephew with that name. You are a fine young man, and I've watched you play football, baseball, and basketball. It's been a pleasure to have met you. There's no charge for the samples. In fact, pick any Whoopie pie I've got here, and it's yours for free. Which one do you want?"

  "The Strawberry Mary."

  "I knew you were girl crazy, Aiden," she laughed. "Here you go. A Strawberry Mary it is."

  "Thank you, mam. I appreciate you supporting me in sports. In a way, sports are my whole life."

  "You are quite welcome, Aiden. It's a pleasure to see the way you play so hard for the team. Now get along and find yourself a nice girl to play with out there. I know you can have your pick of all of them."

  Aiden blushed. "Well, it may seem easy, but I'm pretty new at this, you know. I'm still picking my way down the beach inspecting the shells, so to speak."

  The lady laughed. "Know what you mean. I was young once. I know it doesn't show. Where the years went, I just don't know, but when I was your age I was hunting for a handsome boy just like you to settle down with. But you just weren't around. Why is life so unfair?"

  "How's that?"

  "How's what?"

  "It being unfair?"

  "Well, now that you are here, I'm your mom's age. You can see full well that's not going to work out for either of us."

  Aiden smiled. "Thanks for the pie," he said. "And you still look darn good. In fact, I may be back for a date later."

  "Pshaw!" she cackled. "Ain't you the sly little devil! Now, you get going, before you sweet talk me into compromising myself at this here fair, you little whipper snapper!"

  Aiden bent over and kissed her on the check.

  "I mean it. You are still beautiful, mam. Don't let anyone tell you differently. I'll see you later."

  It always felt good to make a woman feel pretty. It was the least he could do for her. If a woman had a truly good soul, a guy had a responsibility to respect her. Old age was enough of a hassle, and Aiden knew from his grandpa that he'd be there someday himself, and he'd want to be flirted with by a beautiful girl at that time. Kissing her was was his first installment on an insurance plan. He'd made a deposit in the hope that it would pay off big time in the distant future.

  #

  Brayton Bormann was Lisa's boyfriend. His family included some young drug dealers. They were just small timers. Nothing big. They dealt with their friends only. But it still made Brayton persona non gratis with the sheriff. Too bad for her old man that Lisa loved Brayton Bormann. Brayton escorted Lisa Wilson through the Fair Grounds. The two were staying clear of the treats in order to keep their weight under control. Both had outstanding bodies, and they were determined to keep them that way until the day they died.

  "Your dad doesn't like me, still," Brayton said.

  "He'll give in."

  "It's not fair. My relatives may be in the dope business, but I'm not."

  "He's a law man, Brayton. It's what they do."

  Brayton smelled the air. It was fresh and clean.

  "Life is so good here," Brayton said. "I'm glad we have this time together."

  He pulled her close to him and looked into her eyes.

  "You know I love you, Lisa."

  She looked down at her feet.

  "I know."

  "Look at me," he said.

  She lifted her eyes.

  "I'll never let you down," Brayton said. "Do you know that?"

  "I guess so," Lisa said.

  "There's no guess so about it, Lisa. If a bullet came at you, I'd step in front of it and take the hit to save you. I'm not lying. I love you that much."

  "It's not going to happen."

  "You never know. Life has many dark shadows. That's what my grandma says."

  "Life will be good to you," Lisa said. "Besides, you are a good football player."

  "What does that mean?"

  "It means everyone is going to love you all the time. That's what happens to high school jocks. You can't lose, Brayton. Ever."

  She kissed his delicious lips. She had always loved the way his mouth felt next to hers. He was something special, and she wanted him to know it.

  "Do you love me?" Brayton asked.

  "Sure."

  "How come?"

  "Because you are an athlete and a gorgeous jock. That's reason enough, I think."

  He pushed at her.

  "You are a nut!" he said, laughing. "You are really something!"

  She kissed him again.

  "We are both something. Each of us is worth more than gold in this world. We must never forget that."

  "I still love you," Brayton said. "You need to know that."

  "Okay. So, I do."

  "Do what, Lisa?"

  "I know you love me," Lisa said. "That's what you want isn't it?"

  "Well, sort of. But it's more than just a yes or a no answer, Lisa."

  "What is it then?"

  "It's marriage, a good job, a house, and kids," Brayton said. "That's what it is. I'm going to make you happy, and your dad is going to trust me and love me same as Aiden. I'll be just as good a son to him. I promise."

  It was the nicest thing he'd ever said. She didn't understand how he could have been this sensitive about it. Boys were rarely that perceptive.

  "You are so special," Lisa said. "You've made it impossible for me not to love you."

  They kissed, then turned and walked into the woods where they could be alone. The fair was not a good place for would be lovers. It was just a place for kids and their parents. What the two of them needed was privacy.

  #

  Brayton Bormann sat in the forest alongside Lisa Wilson.

  Her hand fondled his fingers one by one as though she were counting them over and over again. It felt so good just to be here with Brayton. They were used to being interrupted by well wishers everywhere they went in town. Out here in the woods it was different.

  "It's very pleasant just to be alone with you," she told him. "In Lancaster, it's difficult. There's no place just to get lost, and we need to get lost."

  "You call this 'getting lost,' do you?" Brayton asked.

  "Sure. No one sees us up here."

  "So?"

  "Privacy has its positive aspects. Families live in private houses for a good reason."

  "And that reason is what?"

  "To be alone. People have to be alone in order to experience being a real family. It's the same with us. We can't be a couple when we are always in public. It doesn't work that way, and you know it."

  "Sure. I know it."

  Lisa kissed Brayton's arm.

  "That feels good," he said.

  "Tastes good."

  "How nice for you."

  They laughed and rolled in the grass under the trees.

  The birds fluttered overhead as though something sinister had disturbed them. They seemed to be fleeing from some unknown monster which never existed and never would. The birds, as usual, were just plain skittish.

  "The birds are fearful about something," Lisa said.

  "Looks that way. Probably a deer."

  "I wonder if people are walking back there."

  Brayton kissed her mouth. She tasted sweet.

  "You kissed me," Lisa said. "Out of the blue. How come?"

  "Just for insurance. If we never get to be alone again, we will at least have this one moment together. It's something we can remember on a dark day when the rain keeps coming in."

  "Pshaw!" she yelled laughing at his surreal humor.

  #

  While Beth prepared a picnic area for the family, she spoke with her best friend, Judith Hadlock. Her husband was busy refereeing an argument between Aneim Munch and a vendor from out of town.

  "What's your name, and what's the nature of your complaint?" the sheriff asked.

  "I'm Patten Lasko, and this guy is giving me trouble," the vendor answered.

  "Are
you giving Mr. Lasko trouble, Aneim?" Sheriff Wilson asked.

  "Not at all. I was just standing here."

  "He doesn't want to pay for his food," the man who owned the vending table said.

  "What did he eat?" the sheriff asked.

  "He ate two pies."

  "How much are these pies?"

  "Two bucks apiece."

  "Have you got four bucks, Aneim?" the sheriff asked.

  "No. But he never said he was going to charge me nothing for them. He just asked if I wanted to try a couple of 'em. So, I did."

  "He didn't tell you they cost two bucks?"

  "No, sir. He didn't say nothing about no money. He just asked me, Did I want to try them. So, I did. Now he wants to stick me for four bucks."

  "Okay, Aneim. You go on about your business."

  "Thank you, sheriff." Aneim Munch turned and hobbled his old man's walk in the opposite direction.

  "I'll pay for it, Mr. Lasko. The old man is on his last legs. He gets drunk a little, but he's honest. And Anseim doesn't have the money for anything except cheap booze. He's like a town poor boy. He lives on nothing and doesn't bother us usually."

  The sheriff handed Patten Lasko a five dollar bill. The man took it, then handed it back to the sheriff.

  "I'm sorry sheriff. If he's that poor, he can have the stuff."

  "Are you sure, Patten? I'm willing to buy what he ate."

  "It's just a misunderstanding, sheriff. Let the old guy have it."

  "Sure?"

  "Yes, I'm sure. And here's another one. Just give it to him as my gift."

  The man handed the sheriff an Apple Danish Pie for Aneim. "And here's another one for you, sheriff. Have a nice day."

  "That's mighty nice of you, sir. I'll give it to him."

  Patten watched the sheriff hand the pie to Anseim, who seemed surprised. Then Anseim turned around and smiled, waving like a homeless crazy to the vendor. Anseim bit into the cold food gift as though it were a treasure of gold. Patten waved back and smiled. Sometimes it paid to be an angel, even in a world in which profit was nearly everything to most people, and that said a lot, since Patten rarely gave anything away to anyone, since he was not rich himself and had to work hard just to survive.