Be My Baby

by Fiona Harper

  ‘Don’t, Luke. Please?’

  It was too much. On top of everything else, it was too much. She couldn’t take him being caring and sweet—and touching her.

  He dropped his hands and just stood there looking at her. His head was tilted slightly to one side, his hazel eyes warm and searching. And if anything the look was worse than the touching had been. She couldn’t bear it, so she closed her eyes.

  She heard rustling. He was taking his jacket off. And then she felt the warm satin of its lining around her shoulders and a tug on the lapels as he pulled it tight around her. It was like being surrounded with him, his warmth, his scent, his touch.

  Opening her eyes was not an option. He was so close now, their bodies only inches apart, and his fingers were smoothing the lapels of the jacket across her collarbone. Any second now he’d move away and she’d be able to breathe again.

  But he didn’t move away, and she didn’t know what to do. Her eyelids fluttered open.

  To hell with breathing.

  Luke was looking at her with unmasked longing in his eyes. No man had ever looked at her like that before, not even David. The way Luke was looking at her was more than just plain old physical attraction.

  It was as if he could see through all the layers she’d painted on to the real woman underneath. And, much to her surprise, he liked what he saw.

  When he tugged the front of the jacket to pull her just that little bit closer, her breathing kick-started again. Then he bent his head and brushed his lips softly across hers.

  This was what she’d been waiting for. All these weeks since they’d had that screaming row, and now it was happening she couldn’t hold back any longer. Her upper arms were still pinned against her sides by his jacket, but she managed to free them enough to circle her arms round his waist and pull herself to him.

  And then she kissed him back, pouring all the love and longing she’d been bottling up into every second of it. This was Luke, her Luke. And she wasn’t going to waste one moment by being hesitant or frightened or shy. For once in her life she was going to do what she felt like doing, and to hell with the consequences.

  Luke’s hands moved to explore the contours of her face and every touch, every stroke seemed to be filled with the same exquisite mixture of adoration and craving that was torturing her. Finally, he pulled away, his hands still cradling her face.

  She looked up at him in wide-eyed wonder as the tiniest of smiles flickered on his lips.

  ‘I’ve been wanting to do that all night.’

  ‘Really? All night?’ Her voice was barely registering.

  His smile grew. ‘Oh, yes.’

  ‘I thought you said it was just pretend.’

  The smile dimmed. ‘I never said that. Why would you think I was just playing with you, Gaby?’

  ‘It was supposed to be a game, wasn’t it?’

  He shook his head. ‘Back in there, I thought we were giving them what they wanted to see—what you wanted them to see—but out here it’s just us. No more pretending. I just can’t do it any more.’

  Me neither, she wanted to shout, but the words were lodged in her throat.

  ‘This one definitely isn’t pretend,’ he said, planting the sweetest, softest kiss on her lips. ‘Nor this one.’ The next was on her jaw. ‘Or this one.’ Now his lips were on her neck. Oh, yes, it was all feeling pretty real to her, no doubt about it.

  ‘For heaven’s sake!’

  They froze. She could hear her mother’s sling-backs clopping on the flagstones.

  ‘The woman must have some kind of radar,’ Luke muttered in her ear, still hugging her close to him as they turned to face her mother.

  ‘Is it true?’ She was nearly upon them now and she was definitely in a stew about something.

  ‘Is what true, Mum?’

  ‘That…that…man…is your boss?’

  Gaby swallowed. ‘I don’t see it’s any of your business—’

  ‘My daughter is cavorting around with a married man and you think it’s none of my business?’

  Gaby’s teeth began to squeeze together as she held back her anger. ‘Mum, how dare you? I don’t know who’s been…’

  Oh, yes, she did. David, that was who.

  ‘Sylvia—’

  One look from her mother told them that, without a shadow of a doubt, Luke had been demoted to using Mrs Michaels again.

  ‘My wife is dead.’ At least her mother had the decency to drop her jaw at Luke’s announcement. ‘And has been for more than five years.’

  ‘Well, how was I supposed to know that? For all I knew, Gaby was working for a normal family—’

  ‘Mum! I don’t know how you can be so rude. Just because Luke’s wife died, it doesn’t mean he hasn’t got a normal…’ She was so cross she could hardly see straight. ‘You know what, Mum? At this very moment, I’m thinking Luke’s family is a hell of a lot more normal than mine is.’

  ‘Well, I’m sorry you feel that way, Gabrielle.’

  Gaby pulled away from Luke slightly, unable to stay still any longer, but he gripped on to her waist and wouldn’t let her go. ‘How do you expect me to feel, Mum? You accuse me of having an affair, when you know nothing about it. In fact, I’d say you don’t know anything about me either, if you think I’m capable of such a thing.’

  ‘Well, of course I didn’t…’

  ‘Yes, you did! Otherwise you wouldn’t have marched out here, all guns blazing. I think you owe Luke an apology.’

  Her mother blinked and Gaby watched her shoulder muscles tighten. Then she swallowed and took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry if I may have given the impression that I thought you were up to no good, Mr Armstrong.’

  Luke gave one small nod of his head. Gaby guessed that was all he could manage without losing it completely.

  Then her mother turned back to face her and she knew the apology had a sting in its tail. ‘But, to be honest, Gabrielle, the fact you are…’ she made a gesture with her hand ‘…with your employer is hardly proper conduct.’

  That was it. Thirty-one years of never answering back came rushing to the surface at once. She was fed up with it. No more. Suddenly it didn’t matter what her parents thought, or what David thought, or even what Luke thought.

  She’d spent her whole life covering up how she really felt to please other people and it hadn’t given her a moment’s real happiness. Only the fake kind, where she was always terrified something would come along to capsize it if she didn’t do or say exactly the right thing.

  To hell with the lot of it.

  From this moment on she was going to tell the truth. It couldn’t make things any worse than they were now.

  She gave her mother a tight smile.

  ‘Too bad if you don’t like it, Mum. It’s none of your business what I do. You can keep your opinions to yourself. If I want to, I will stand out here and kiss Luke. If I really want to, I will drag him upstairs and have my wicked way with him.’ The look on her mother’s face this very second was worth every bit of self-recrimination she might have tomorrow at this outburst.

  Suddenly, she felt amazing, she felt triumphant, she felt…free. It was fantastic.

  And since she was on a roll, she might as well finish with a bang.

  ‘No one is going to stop me from being with the man I—’

  Her mother’s eyebrows shot up. Luke’s hand gripped her waist even tighter.

  ‘With the man you…?’ he asked, his voice hoarse.

  She turned to face him and looked him straight in the eye. No pretending, they’d said. It was too late to go back now. Her voice broke slightly as she spoke.

  ‘With the man I love.’

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  FOR once her mother was speechless. Not that Gaby noticed. She was too busy staring at Luke and the goofy smile lighting up his face. Up until a few seconds ago, she’d have sworn that Luke Armstrong didn’t ‘do’ goofy smiles. Ever.

  He even kept smiling as he kissed her again. She could feel his lips
curling at the edges, as if he just couldn’t help himself. That had to be a good sign, surely? The kiss itself was definitely a good sign. It was slow and soft and sweet, and seemed to echo everything she was feeling.

  Did he really feel the same way? Or was she reaching for the moon, only to fall flat on her face once again?

  But then, if Luke had been horrified by her announcement, he’d have been running through the hotel gardens and jumping over bushes to get away by now.

  He pulled away to look at her and it was only then that she was aware that, at some point in the last few minutes, her mother had clopped away again. She searched his face for any hint of the urge to run. He placed a tiny kiss, so delicate it was almost just a breath of air, on the tip of her nose.

  ‘You know I do too, don’t you?’

  Her eyes widened and she nodded. Her brain might be short-circuiting on the idea that a man like him could love her, but she knew one thing: Luke Armstrong was not a liar. If he said he did, then he did. Only he hadn’t quite said it, had he?

  She flicked the thought aside and let him pull her into the circle of his arms, her head against his shoulder. And they stood there, holding on to each other, as if they both were afraid to let go, not saying a word.

  Luke wasn’t sure how many minutes had passed when he realised Gaby was shaking. Not big shivers, just a constant quivering. Whether it was the shock, or the cold, or the after-effects of an adrenaline surge, he didn’t know.

  ‘You’re cold.’

  ‘Don’t let go,’ she whispered, holding him even tighter.

  He laughed softly in her ear. ‘I don’t think I can.’ And, even if he could, he didn’t think he’d ever want to.

  And then she kissed him, tentative at first, but it wasn’t long before he was the one who was quivering. He’d dreamed of this, holding her in his arms, taking time to explore every inch of her face with his lips, brushing his hands down her back to feel the curve of her waist and the swell of her bottom. Reality was ten times better than the fantasy.

  The chemistry between him and Lucy had been good, but after a few years of marriage he’d realised that was all it had been. Youthful hormones were not the foundation for a lasting marriage, or, if they could be, you had to build on them with something of more substance.

  But it was more than neurons and pheromones with Gaby. He wanted to touch Gaby, feel her skin, breathe in her scent, not because of some growing need in his body—although the need was certainly there—but because he was speaking to her each time his fingers traced, each place his mouth caressed.

  I love you.

  And it wasn’t just her body he was captivated with. It was her mind, her heart, her strength, her very essence. Touching was just the way of expressing his love without words. Because what he felt went beyond words, and the realisation of it rocked him. It was almost too intense to bear.

  Gaby sighed and rested her forehead against his. ‘Luke, we can’t stay out here all night canoodling like teenagers.’

  He could hear the chuckle in his own voice as he answered her. ‘Are you suggesting you have your wicked way with me, after all? I thought that was just to shock the socks off your mother.’

  She held her breath. Did that mean she had taken him seriously? All of a sudden, it seemed an awfully big thing to rush into. He wanted to know Gaby was ready, that it wasn’t just a knee-jerk reaction to everything that had gone on tonight. The last thing he wanted it to be was the ultimate rude gesture to Dear Old Mum.

  As the silence stretched, he knew she was thinking the same thing. And then he felt her put the shutters down.

  ‘Don’t do that, Gaby.’

  Her breath was still warm on his neck, but somehow all the glorious feelings of a moment ago were twisting themselves into an ugly knot in his stomach.

  ‘What?’

  I don’t know…that thing you do, like you’re distancing yourself.’

  ‘I’m right here. I haven’t moved a muscle.’

  ‘You know what I mean.’

  He knew she did. She knew that, mentally at least, she’d been backing away.

  ‘I was joking, you know. We don’t have to be wicked at all. We can be as angelic as you like.’ He’d spent five years in hell; he could wait a little longer for heaven. ‘Scrambling into bed with each other, delightful as it would be, is not the way to start what might be a complicated relationship.’

  ‘Complicated? How?’ She was still on the defensive, he could hear it in the thin pitch of her voice.

  ‘Well, there’s Heather to consider, for one thing.’

  She looked up at him, eyes all large and panicky. ‘You think Heather won’t like the idea, is that what you’re saying? You think we’d better stop even before we start?’

  ‘No, that’s not what I’m saying!’

  He took her face in his hands and made her look at him, just so she could see how completely serious and just plain crazy in love with her he was. ‘I’m not walking away from this, Gaby. We’ll make this work somehow. We’ll take things slowly, do whatever we must to make sure Heather isn’t unsettled by this. She loves you, you know.’

  ‘As a nanny, sure! I’m just not sure she’s going to be overjoyed that I’m in her life as Daddy’s…whatever I am. See? You’re right. Even that’s complicated!’

  ‘We’ll just have to work something out.’

  She pulled back and walked away, only a few steps, but it felt as if a great cavern had opened between them.

  ‘Luke, you know how much I care about Heather. I couldn’t do anything to upset her. She’s been through too much already. If there’s any chance that she’ll react badly…’

  ‘Don’t say it, Gaby! We’re not going to give up! There’s got to be a way.’

  She leaned back against the edge of the balustrade and closed her eyes. ‘Well, we can’t just pop up arm in arm tomorrow and make a big announcement, can we?’

  ‘No, you’re right. We can’t do that. We’ll just have to—’

  ‘I’m not lying to her, Luke!’

  He shook his head and marched over to stand in front of her. ‘For goodness’ sake, let a man finish, will you? No one said anything about lying. What kind of father do you think I am?’

  Five minutes ago he’d been kissing her neck, now he felt like wringing it.

  Then, to his surprise, she let out a low chuckle, walked over to him and planted a big, fat kiss on his lips. ‘I can’t resist it when you’re grumpy,’ she said, with a smile in her eye.

  ‘Just as well.’ The corners of his mouth turned up without his permission.

  He took her hand and led her back along the terrace. ‘What I’m suggesting is that we take things slowly, for all our sakes—yours, mine, Heather’s. None of us are well equipped for things to crash and burn.’

  She said nothing, but squeezed his fingers with hers.

  ‘And, besides, we missed out on so much.’

  ‘Such as?’

  ‘All the dating stuff. You know, first dates, candlelit dinners, walks on the beach, that kind of thing.’

  She stopped and looked at him, a cheeky smile on her face. ‘Mr Armstrong, I do declare you have a romantic side lurking in there somewhere.’

  He looked at the floor and scuffed a bit of grass growing between the paving stones with his foot. She tucked herself under his arm and they started walking again.

  ‘It’s okay, you know. I won’t tell. You can be as grotty as you like on the surface, I know you’re soft as marshmallow underneath.’

  He grunted and Gaby laughed.

  ‘Now, there’s the Luke Armstrong we all know and love.’

  Her heart was pounding in the back of her throat as she waited for Luke’s car to pull up the hotel drive the next afternoon. They had talked into the small hours of the night, trying to work out how best to handle the situation without freaking Heather out and had come up with some ground rules.

  It was going to be complicated since they were both living in the same house, bu
t they had decided to take the relationship one step at a time. Luke was right, neither he, Gaby, or even Heather, were ready for the fallout if they jumped into something they both later regretted.

  So there was going to be no sneaking around, no lying to Heather and definitely no bedroom-swapping in the middle of the night. She thought back to the night Luke had had the bad dream and sighed.

  It was such a pity, she had felt so safe and warm snuggled up next to him, but just sleeping in the same bed was never going to work. It would be like lighting a match and telling it not to burn. And then there would still be the awkward questions in the morning if Heather found out. That girl wasn’t stupid.

  Last night, as they’d sat in the deserted hotel bar and plotted and planned, it had all seemed real, possible even. But now, in the clear spring sunshine, Gaby was starting to wonder if it hadn’t all been a dream. Something she’d wanted so much, she’d imagined it was real. She was half expecting Luke to pull up and act like he always had.

  She saw the familiar shape of the Range Rover’s headlights and grille emerge from the rhododendron bushes that lined the drive and her heart turned over.

  This was it. The moment when she’d find out if she’d really turned back into a pumpkin after all.

  Heather was waving madly, but Luke was concentrating on parking the car.

  ‘Go on, Heather,’ she heard him say through the half-open window.

  ‘Da-ad! I’m not three any more.’

  ‘I know that, Heather, but it’s a long journey and you’ve drunk that can of fizzy stuff Granny gave you already.’

  ‘Honestly!’ Heather flounced from the car. ‘Hi, Gaby.’

  ‘Hi, Heather. Do you want me to show you the way?’

  ‘Don’t you start as well. I’m almost a teenager. I can find the way to the loo on my own, you know.’

  ‘Good.’ She smiled. Heather might not know it, but she was already streets ahead in the moody teenager stakes. Heaven help them when she actually turned thirteen.

  She heard the creak of the car door and watched Luke get out. Their eyes met over the roof of the car. Suddenly, she felt all shy and didn’t know what to do with herself. It was as if she were the one who’d just turned thirteen.