Deadly Interpretations

by Andie Alexander

  I looked around the room for a moment and decided I needed to repaint. The black looked cheap. Dark red would be so much classier, and would match the bedspread in my bedroom.

  I stared at the baby as he went to sleep. He was simply adorable. I could hear Squirt and Ray moaning in the next room and wondered if this was considered to be normal behavior. If I had a kid, I’d be killing the father after a painful experience like childbirth. He wouldn’t be rewarded for years to come, if he was still alive.

  Jim walked out of the bathroom, stood in the hallway, and stared at my bedroom door. After listening to the moaning for a few moments, he turned toward me, confusion filling his face. “What’s going on?”

  “The usual. I’m holding the baby, Scotty’s being entertained by your men, and my brother’s having sex on my bed with his dirty common-law wife. Time to burn the sheets and this couch from when Ray’s water broke.”

  He walked toward me, pointing toward my bedroom door. “They’re having sex? You’re kidding, right? That’s not good for just giving birth. I told her to wait at least six weeks before she did that.”

  “Tell her again, and if you interrupt what they’re doing, try not to take notes. I really don’t want to know.”

  Screams from my bedroom made me sigh and cover my face, while Jim just laughed. Chris laughed along with him, while I sat back, holding the baby closer to my chest. I’d never been more embarrassed to be related to Squirt.

  “Is he asleep again?” Jim asked, nodding toward the baby. I was so happy he’d changed the subject.

  I glanced down at the poor child’s face, wondering how he’d gotten the short straw, having my brother and Ray as parents. “Yes. I don’t know if he slept much when we weren’t here, but the towel was a mess.”

  “Yes, he slept,” Chris said. “He’s a good kid and he’ll probably be hungry soon.”

  “Don’t even tell me to take this kid in and show her how to do that,” I said to Jim. “I’d have to go into therapy if you did that to me.”

  “She probably already knows.” Jim turned toward my bedroom. “I think they’re done.” He checked his watch. “Quick, too. If that was me—”

  “I don’t want to know.” I closed my eyes and put my head back on the couch. This wasn’t happening.

  Both men laughed, probably staring at me. I didn’t understand men, and no matter how much I’d tried in the past, they’d never make sense to me.

  Chris went back into Scotty’s room while Jim sat beside me on the dry side of the couch. He leaned over and watched the baby sleep, then looked up at my face with a grin. “Want one of your own?”

  I looked down at the adorable child. “Someday.”

  “Want some help when you do?”

  “Not today.”

  “I know that, but I thought I’d offer.” He touched the baby’s face. “I called the big boss, and he’s worried about you.”

  “He is?” I lifted my eyes, wondering who his big boss really was. I didn’t even know who the head of the DHS was. Nor did I know the name of any government big shot, other than the President and Vice President. “Why? I’d think he’d want to throw me into jail for treason by now.”

  “No, not treason…yet.” His face turned puzzled. “Don’t you remember? Those two guys had you at gunpoint?”

  “Oh that?” I dismissed it with a wave of my hand. “They wouldn’t have done anything. They couldn’t get their information if they’d shot me.”

  “True, but they could’ve wounded you. That’s always an option.”

  I looked at him, thinking about it. “That would’ve hurt, wouldn’t it? I never thought about that.”

  “Yes, it would’ve hurt and your doctor wouldn’t have been happy.”

  I lowered my eyebrows. “What’s my doctor have to do with it? He doesn’t know about any of this.”

  Jim grinned. “Yes he does. Remember? I’m your doctor now, and had a nice chat with the loser old one today.”

  Life couldn’t get any more difficult. “What did you tell him?”

  “I said that DHS is taking your case because you’re invaluable to our cause. Then I asked him why he prescribed such a stupid dose of birth control pills for you, because they weren’t effective and you smoke. Smoking and the pill aren’t a good combination, especially for someone at your age.”

  “My age?” I snapped my head toward him. “Not effective?”

  “Nope. They weren’t right. He should’ve been monitoring you more closely and told you to quit smoking. They were the wrong kind, with a higher chance of getting pregnant when using them.”

  “You’re kidding? Do you mean that if I’d have—”

  “Yep.” He looked down at the little boy. “You could be holding Claus’ baby, or Dieter’s baby or Billy’s baby.” He started to laugh. “Or my baby if I’d gotten my wish.”

  “Not a chance.” No baby, actually, but Jim didn’t need to know anything. “So what do I take now?”

  “Nothing until you get back to normal.”

  “But I’ll have problems, right?”

  “We’ll see.” He took the baby from my arms and unwrapped it, checking its fingers and toes. “This baby is very healthy, considering Ray probably had no prenatal care.” He re-wrapped the child and handed it back to me, then leaned on the back of the couch. “I also got an update on Elizabeth. She’s fine, she’s pregnant, and they took the GPS out of her arm. It had a poison sac on it, and if they wouldn’t have known about it, it would’ve killed her.”

  “She’s pregnant?”

  His eyes met mine. “Jealous?”

  I looked down at the baby. “Not the way she got pregnant. Not at all.”

  “She’s going to stay in the United States, because her family’s in trouble back home. If she runs away and hides, they’ll be killed. So, MI5 is trying to get her family out of the country without anyone knowing about it—not even MI6.”

  Squirt and Ray ran out of the bedroom, stark naked, and into my bathroom. Their laughter made me sick.

  “Shoot me and put me out of my misery,” I whispered, covering my eyes with my hand.

  Jim chuckled. “We could always go to a hotel.” He pulled my hand from my face, brought it to his lips, and kissed the back of it.

  I pulled my hand from his, disgusted with the entire situation. “That’s a thought. There would be two beds in a hotel.”

  “Some of my men would join us.”

  “Protection…hmmm…”

  “From me? In your condition?”

  “I don’t have a ‘condition,’” I whispered.

  “No, but you are crabby.” He looked at his watch. “We need to have dinner, anyway.” He stood up and headed into Scotty’s bedroom. “Which of you guys can cook?”

  “Besides you, boss?” one of them asked.

  “Yes, besides me. I have to take care of everyone else. The baby needs me, Ray needs me and Harley—” He started to whisper, and I was sure I’d have to deck him. I wasn’t a helpless female and he, of all people, should know that, or I’d put him on the floor again.

  “I’ll do it,” Chris said. “Do you want steak?”

  “Sounds good to me.” Jim stepped back into the living room and took the baby from my hands, holding him up to his chest. He then addressed me. “You need a nap.”

  I got to my feet. “I do? What for, and what did you tell your goons in there about me?”

  He leaned closer. “I said you’re having an emotional crisis.”

  “But I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are,” he whispered. “Your brother’s driving you nuts and it’s going to keep me out of the kitchen. My goons, as you so politely put it, can pull their own weight.”

  “So you’re the boss, huh?”

  He reached out and touched my cheek. “Yes. And this place is being watched like Fort Knox. After that little kidnapping incident by Sami and his friend, we have to keep you safe until you meet with the Russians and Chinese to see what they’re pulling.”
>
  “Why would the Arabic delegation care about me, anyway?”

  He moved his hand from my cheek and stroked my hair. “You look like a model. They probably wanted you for their top guy, but he can’t have you. I have plans like you won’t believe. You’re going to be so happy—but that’s down the road.”

  This had to be some sort of psychological game he was playing. I still had that ace in the hole, knowing he couldn’t date clients. “Plans? What kind of plans?”

  He stared down at the baby, pulling him away from his chest. “They’re secret plans. Look who’s awake.”

  I looked into the baby’s blue eyes glaring up at Jim in a scowl. Jim started to laugh and the baby burst into tears.

  “Good job, Dad.” I took the baby from him. I pulled the poor thing up to my chest and held him close to me. He calmed right down and seemed to go back to sleep. He felt so warm against me, and really made me wonder if I’d made some stupid mistakes in my life, dating stupid men and only thinking about my career. It would be really nice to be someone’s wife and have some children that depended on me.

  “Your chest calmed him down,” he whispered, rubbing the baby’s back. “He’s hungry.”

  I shook my head, not sure how I’d gotten into this conversation with him. He was easy to talk to about anything, which was scary. “Go tell Ray, because I can’t do it.”

  “I know that. She’ll be out shortly, I’m sure.” He put his hand over mine as I held the baby. “Thank you for helping me out.”

  “Thank you for everything you’ve done. You’ve taken care of my whole family and clothed the hippies as well. I want to pay you back for all of it.”

  His hand moved to my cheek. “Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have left you alone in that store. That was stupid of me, but I never thought they’d be in there. They must have followed us, but I didn’t see them, even though I was watching.”

  “It’s fine.” I looked down at the baby, asleep again. “Think they’ll go home tonight?”

  “I hope so.” He leaned up and gave me a few small kisses. “I want time alone with you and I want you to take a nap. I even want to kick out my goons.”

  “How professional is that?”

  “Not professional at all.” He kissed me again. “But I work best alone.” He waggled his eyebrows and I wanted to slap him. He was so predictable.

  “Have fun working alone. I’ll be in a hotel and you can stay here.” I narrowed my eyes. “Is it true that you can’t date clients?”

  He looked surprised, almost as if I’d just checkmated him in chess. “Yes, but in this case, I have to practice my cover.”

  “Wait. Normally you can’t?”

  “No, but I have to date you so I can protect you.” He paused as if deep in thought. “I’m not sure what you’re asking me. What don’t you understand?”

  “I don’t understand how you can turn it on and off again, and play with the client’s emotions like that. You’re just jerking my chain, aren’t you?”

  He was speechless for a moment before he smiled. “I’ve gotten to you already? I thought it would be at least a week. Interesting.”

  “No, and you’re not answering my question.”

  He leaned closer and stroked my arm. “We’ll talk, but not now. We have too many guests in the apartment.”

  Squirt and Ray laughed as they left the bathroom. They were cleaned up and Squirt had even shaved. I’d never seen him so clean before, and thought maybe they’d be okay parents after all.

  Ray took the baby from me, sat on the couch, and opened her new tent-dress. She whipped out her gigantic breast, pulled the baby to it, and started to feed him.

  Jim and I stared at her, not knowing what to do. I wasn’t against breast-feeding, but she didn’t even care who was around.

  “Can’t she be more discreet about that?” I whispered. “I mean, there are tons of men here.”

  “I agree,” Jim said. “I have to see you.” He took my hand and directed me into the bedroom, staring down at the bed. “Do you have any clean sheets?”

  I looked at the bed. It was a mess, with a wet and messy towel in the middle of it. I ripped everything off the bed, walked out into the hallway near the kitchen, and stuffed it all into the washing machine. I poured a bunch of soap into the thing and punched the button to turn it on. If the mess didn’t come out, I intended to throw it all away.

  The phone rang, so I grabbed the extension in the kitchen. “Hello?”

  “Hey, babe.”

  I walked around the corner and waved to Jim, then pointed toward the phone. “Who is this?”

  Jim picked up the extension in the bedroom, a slight click meeting my ear.

  “It’s Billy,” the caller said. “Who else would it be?”

  “You never know,” I muttered.

  “Are you seeing that loser, Scotty’s mentor, what’s-his-name?”

  I glanced around the corner at Jim, who was trying not to laugh while covering the receiver.

  “Are you talking about Jim?” I asked.

  “Yeah. That clown. What’s up with him, anyway?”

  I grinned at Jim and winked. “Well, he’s a great catch, if you ask me.”

  “I bet he’s not as rich as I am.”

  “Richer. He’s a doctor and does this mentoring on the side for fun.” I leaned against the doorframe and stared at Dr. Bond, mesmerized at his ability to birth babies. “He cares about people, and would never, ever step out on his girlfriend. E-ver.”

  Billy sighed. “I understand and I made a mistake. But it’s not like you’ve never made a mistake. Want me to list them off for you?”

  My eyes met Jim’s and I turned back to the phone. “No need to mention them. What do you want?”

  I turned away from Jim, but glanced back at him, realizing he’d heard more than I wanted him to hear, just from the puzzled look on his face as he stared at me.

  “I want you to go out with me,” Billy said. “Tonight.”

  “I can’t tonight. My brother’s visiting.”

  “Scotty’s always visiting. He lives there.”

  “No, my older brother.”

  “The hippie?” Billy asked. “What’s he doing in town?”

  “Just visiting. He brought his wife and brand new baby.” Newer than most people would bring, but if it got Billy to stay away, that would be great, because he hated kids.

  “Fine, but I want to go out with you tomorrow night.”

  “Saturday? No can do.”

  “Why?”

  “Party for work. I’m busy.” And busy for the rest of my life. I’d make up something for each day, if I had to.

  “Sunday?”

  “We’ll see.” But mentally I was saying ‘no way’ in my head. He was more of a loser than I’d imagined.

  “Harley, how am I to convince you to marry me if you won’t go out? You know I don’t like this type of behavior and I’m not happy.”

  “This is life. Get over it.” I hung up the phone and Jim did the same. He walked out of the bedroom and grabbed my arm. “Mistakes? That’s the second time he mentioned something like that. What’s he holding over your head?”

  I shrugged out of his grasp. “Nothing.” The less he knew, the better. I just needed to distract him with something else, so he’d never ask again.

  Chapter 16

  “We have to be going,” Squirt said. “Thanks for everything. Jonquil will be fine.”

  Had I heard him right? “Jonquil?”

  “The baby’s name,” Ray said. “Isn’t it great?” The baby still nursed as she walked. It appeared to be multitasking at its best, but definitely not for me.

  I sighed and Jim put his hands around my waist from behind. He then grabbed my wrists and held them at my side, probably so I wouldn’t throttle them. “The commune investigation’s already in the works,” he whispered into my ear.

  “Such romantic words,” I said. “Thank you.”

  “Scotty, are you ready?” Squirt ask
ed.

  Scotty walked into the living room, lugging two suitcases behind him. “Yeah. Got all my stuff and I’m ready to go.”

  “You know we don’t need many clothes where we’re going,” Squirt said to his younger brother.

  Scotty smiled. “So I hear. Are there many teenage girls?”

  “Tons of them,” Squirt said, grinning. “I’ll teach you how a real man treats a lady.”

  I pulled away from Jim, wanting to punch out my older brother, but Jim just pulled me closer and tightened his hold on my wrists.

  “Let me go,” I whispered.

  “No. It’s fine and they’ll be watched,” he whispered into my ear.

  “Fine. But if not, I’m going to castrate every man in that commune and take Jonquil for my own.”

  He chuckled. “I don’t doubt it one bit. I’m keeping the sharp knives away from you.”

  We gave them some food for the road, and they all left the apartment. Jim and I went into the bedroom to clean while Chris cooked the steak.

  “What’s Billy holding over your head?” Jim asked again while we replaced the sheets.

  “You don’t want to know and I don’t want to remember it.”

  He tucked in the bottom sheet on his side. “I can help you, but only if I know what it is.”

  “I’m sure you already know. You seem to have my whole background memorized.” I smoothed out the sheets, tucking in both of the corners on my side of the bed.

  He grabbed the top sheet and shook it over the bed, making it rest exactly where it was supposed to go. It made me wonder about his domestic skills.

  “We have nothing on you since you came here,” he said. “I also want to know what Sami was asking about Ali. What happened to you since you came back?”