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Gutshot Straight with Bonus Excerpt

Page 30

by Lou Berney


  As for the one hundred foreskins at the center of this novel, they did in fact disappear during the final days of World War II, but in East Prussia, not Belgium. Experts now surmise, based on documents released after the collapse of the Soviet Union, that the defrocked Belgian Jesuit in whose possession the foreskins were last confirmed may have bartered the foreskins to Red Army officers in exchange for safe passage the hell out of East Prussia. Our best guess, at this point, is that the foreskins are in the hands of a private collector who may not appreciate the full value and significance of what he or she has in his or her hands. For help with the complex history of the foreskins, I am indebted to Professor Tom Cooney, director of the Institut d’antiquités génitales in Oakland, California.

  I have never heard either Rilo Kiley’s “Smoke Detector” or “Turn It On” by the Flaming Lips played in a strip club in Las Vegas. I have, however, heard Prince’s “Kiss” lots of times (careful, meticulous research; see above), and one time the dancer was wearing exactly what Gina wears during that scene in the novel.

  Readers in Panama are probably still scoffing in disbelief at Gina’s lack of success in spotting a sloth, and rightly so. It’s ridiculously easy to spot sloths in the jungles of Panama, especially when you have a crack naturalist guide, as did I, like Mario Bernal Greco. Mario claimed, or at least I thought he did, that a sloth will only come down from its tree once every five days to have a bowel movement. I did not put this in the novel because I could not verify it, and my copy editor would have totally busted me on it (see below).

  I’d like to thank some of the people who made this book possible. I’m going to keep the list short because I suspect that the longer the list, the more pissed the people left off it will be.

  I’m incredibly grateful to Richard Parks, Marjorie Braman, and Peggy Hageman.

  I also have to thank my copy editor, Maureen Sugden, who pointed out that methamphetamine users tend to urinate less often than normal and that, according to statistics, the average act of “adequate” sexual intercourse lasts only between three and seven minutes(!)

  Finally, several people were generous enough to read a very early version of this story and give notes: Teena Booth, Dede Gardner, Jonathan Hludzinski, Jeff Hoffman, Rachel Long, Mark Poirier, Ed Rugoff, Will Strouse, and Joanne Wolf.

  About the Author

  Lou Berney is an accomplished writer, teacher, and liar. His first novel, Gutshot Straight (William Morrow, 2010), was nominated for a Barry Award and named by Booklist as one of the best debut crime novels of the year. He is also the author of The Road to Bobby Joe and Other Stories, and his short fiction has appeared in publications such as The New Yorker, Ploughshares, and the Pushcart Prizeanthology. He has written feature screenplays and created TV pilots for, among others, Warner Brothers, Paramount, Focus Features, ABC, and Fox. Currently he teaches writing at the University of Oklahoma and Oklahoma City University.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors.

  Also by Lou Berney

  The Road to Bobby Joe and Other Stories

  Gutshot Straight

  Copyright

  This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locales are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used fictitiously. All other characters, and all incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real.

  GUTSHOT STRAIGHT. Copyright © 2010 by Lou Berney. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  FIRST EDITION

  *

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Berney, Louis.

  Gutshot straight / Lou Berney. — 1st ed.

  p. cm.

  ISBN 978-0-06-176604-6

  1. Ex-convicts—Fiction. 2. Crime—Fiction. I. Title. PS3552.E73125G88 2010

  813’.54—dc22

  2009025215

  *

  Excerpt from Whiplash River Copyright © 2012 by Lou Berney

  Gutshot Straight with Bonus Excerpt Edition 9780062213228 June 2012

  10 11 12 13 14 OV/RRD 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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