The Lazy Girl's Guide To Magic : The Complete Series

by Helen Harper

  He told himself that the reason his hands were shaking was because of the adrenaline. If he recognised his fear for her he’d be a mess – and incapable of doing anything to help her. But Brutus had genuinely been worried. Winter drew in a ragged breath.

  Locating the farm, and ignoring the dirt that flew up around the bike’s wheels, he forced it up the narrow lane to the farmhouse at speed. He reminded himself that panic never helped anyone then he leapt from the seat without bothering to turn off the engine and hammered on the door. ‘Open up!’

  When the door didn’t open immediately, Winter raised one leg and kicked it. There was a crash of splintering wood and he stalked inside. ‘Ivy! Where the hell are you? Ivy!’

  From out of nowhere a woman appeared and Winter’s body tensed.

  She brandished a shotgun in his direction. ‘Get out of my house.’ She raised the muzzle.

  Winter’s hand snapped forward and he yanked the weapon out of her grasp. ‘Where is she?’ he demanded. ‘Where is Ivy Wilde?’

  The woman’s eyes were as wide as saucers. ‘I don’t know who you mean,’ she stammered. ‘No one lives here by that name. It’s just me, my husband and our two boys – Alistair and Gareth.’

  Gareth. Winter hissed through his teeth. ‘Where is he? Where is Gareth?’ He took a step towards her.

  The woman obviously felt threatened because she stepped back and he could see her trembling. ‘He went out after a sheep. It got lost. A woman came round looking for him. Blonde with crazy hair and crazier eyes. She…’ Her voice faltered slightly at Winter’s look. ‘She went after him. She said he was a good friend of hers.’

  ‘Where’s your husband?’

  She swallowed. ‘In the pub.’

  ‘And your other son? Alistair?’

  ‘I … I … don’t know. Out with his pals, maybe.’

  Winter’s fists clenched. ‘And where exactly did Gareth go to find the sheep?’

  ‘I don’t know that either! I…’

  He spun round, abandoning her to return to his bike. Ivy wasn’t here. His next stop had to be Dead Man’s Hill. With his fear increasing, he ignored the woman who had altered her course of stuttering fear to one of rage.

  ‘You bastard! Coming into my house and threatening me! I’ll have the police on you! My son can do magic, you know. He’ll hurt you for what you’ve just done! He’ll turn your insides out!’

  Winter revved the engine and took off without once glancing back.

  He was still a long way from the cemetery and the hill behind it when he saw the lights. As far as he could tell, they were man-made and nothing to do with magic. All the same, he continued to gun the engine. What the hell was Ivy thinking? What was really going on? Winter pressed down on the accelerator. He’d ask questions later.

  The moment he reached the entrance to the graveyard, he flung down the bike. Its wheels were still spinning when he took off in the direction of the lights. There were shouts and screams, each one sending a bloodcurdling chill down his spine. Then he saw Ivy, suspended in the air above a small group of people, her face contorted in an expression of pain and horror.

  No.

  Winter ran forward, his hands raised. In quick succession he threw out every single protection rune he could think of. Each one bounced uselessly off Ivy’s body. Her mouth opened as if in a scream and her body began to shake violently.

  Winter sped past a kid, who was pulling himself up from the ground with a dazed expression, and headed directly to her. Her eyes moved to him and for the briefest moment she seemed to relax. Her lips formed three unmistakable words that made his heart stop. Then the life seemed to go out of her, like someone had flipped a switch.

  He was less than a foot away when she dropped like a stone. Winter held out his arms and caught her just before she hit the ground. There was an odd, beatific smile on her face.

  For one brief moment, her eyelids fluttered open and his hope flared. ‘Benjamin?’ she asked. Less than a second later, her body went limp and her eyes closed.

  Doing his best to quash his panic, Winter laid her down gently. He couldn’t feel a pulse. He dipped his head closer to her mouth. No breath. Shit. With his mouth dry, Winter began compressions, pounding on her chest. ‘Call a fucking ambulance!’ He breathed into her mouth. Then he continued compressions again.

  ‘Let me help.’ A youngish man with a Scottish brogue knelt down next to him.

  Winter didn’t stop what he was doing but raised his eyes for long enough to scan the man’s face. ‘Name?’ he barked.

  ‘G … G … Gareth.’

  Winter gave Ivy another breath. Then he took half a beat to draw a rune and send the man flying backwards.

  The kid let out a cry and ran towards him. ‘Gareth! What did that bastard do to you?’

  Winter paid them no further attention.

  ‘Adeptus! I know first aid. We can work together.’ Barry, Ivy’s erstwhile producer, fell heavily to his knees and took over the compressions. All the while, Ivy’s skin turned paler and paler and she didn’t move once.

  The smell of antiseptic clung to everything but it couldn’t conceal the underlying stench of sickness and despair. Winter paced up and down the corridor, his shoes squeaking. Every time a door opened, he held his breath. It was never for him. There was still no news about Ivy.

  He lowered his head and stared at his feet. He still didn’t understand what had happened. Why had she gone out there alone?

  ‘Adeptus Exemptus Winter?’

  He sprang to his feet, only belatedly realising that it was Amy, the runner from Enchantment.

  ‘Hi.’ He slumped down again.

  ‘Have you heard anything?’

  He didn’t trust his voice. He simply shook his head and sighed.

  She thrust something in his direction. ‘She dropped this after she…’ Amy scratched her head awkwardly. ‘You know. She was reading it out when it all happened.’

  Slowly, as if moving through sludge, Winter took the scroll. He stared at the words, then at the tiny insignia at the bottom. The Order. Ivy had got this from the Order. As he tried to make sense of it, another door opened. It wasn’t a doctor.

  ‘Has anyone told you how she is?’

  Winter looked up at the Ipsissimus. ‘No.’

  Amy swallowed. ‘I should go. When she wakes up, tell her I’m thinking of her.’ She scooted away down the corridor and out of sight.

  ‘I’ll talk to them,’ the Ipsissimus declared. ‘Someone must know what’s happening.’

  Winter stood up. ‘You’re right.’ His voice was flat. He held up the scroll. ‘Someone must know.’

  The Ipsissimus looked at it then at Winter. He let out a long breath and took the scroll from him. ‘Well,’ he said heavily, ‘I suppose the truth was going to come out sooner or later.’

  ‘You gave this to her.’

  The Ipsissimus inclined his head. ‘I did.’ Winter waited for more. The Ipsissimus sighed and sat down. ‘Necromancy is a tricky beast, Raphael. You know that. If it’s not halted in the early stages, the consequences are devastating. We needed a powerful witch on hand to stop the magic from taking hold. Your Ivy didn’t hesitate.’

  Winter didn’t look at him. ‘You should have come to me.’

  ‘You are needed in the Order.’

  A muscle throbbed in Winter’s jaw. ‘You could have done it.’

  ‘I would have if I could. Ivy understood the reasons why I didn’t. Believe me, if I could have taken her place and been assured that the Order would remain standing and sane, then I would have.’

  Winter gritted his teeth. ‘She wasn’t in the Order. We are trained for this, we accept this is our job. She was not part of that. You made her sacrifice herself. You used an innocent to fight your battle. And now she’s … she’s…’ He couldn’t finish the sentence.

  ‘Ivy Wilde was fully aware of the consequences.’ The Ipsissimus was silent for a moment. ‘She didn’t tell you because she wanted to save you from ha
ving to do it yourself.’

  Winter turned his head to look at him. ‘She said that?’

  ‘She didn’t have to.’

  Winter waited for several beats until he was confident he had his rage under enough control. Then he stood up. ‘You treated her like cannon fodder. You used her. You didn’t even have the courtesy to tell me what was going on or to give me the opportunity to take her place.’ He shook his head. ‘I cannot be part of an organisation that treats people like that.’

  A furrow crossed the Ipsissimus’s brow. ‘Adeptus Exemptus Winter, I sincerely hope you’re not about to do anything foolish. I’d like to remind you that we now have a young boy in our custody who is going to need our help. Ivy could have saved herself and instead she chose to save him. She even suggested that he go to you for help. We need you in Arcane Branch. She needs you in Arcane Branch.’

  ‘No,’ Winter said simply, ‘she doesn’t.’ He lifted up his chin and looked the Ipsissimus in the eye. ‘I hereby rescind my position and resign from the Hallowed Order of Magical Enlightenment with immediate effect.’

  ‘You can’t do that.’

  Winter shrugged. ‘I just did.’ His voice hardened. ‘Now get out. You don’t belong here.’

  ‘Take some time to think about this. Don’t rush into anything. I understand that right now you’re feeling raw but—’

  ‘You don’t understand anything. And I’m not going to repeat myself. Leave this place.’

  The Ipsissimus got to his feet. He smoothed down his robes and nodded. ‘Very well. When you change your mind, come and find me.’

  ‘I won’t change my mind.’ Winter’s tone brooked no argument.

  The Ipsissimus waited a beat, as if he still expected a sudden change of heart. When none was forthcoming, he turned round and left.

  Winter collapsed back into the chair. This was all his fault. He’d brought Ivy here. If he’d been paying more attention, he would have known what was going on. He was a damned fool.

  Yet another door opened. This time Winter didn’t even bother looking up.

  ‘Are you here for Ms Wilde?’ a voice enquired.

  Winter’s head snapped up. The doctor, wearing a white coat and a serious expression, was addressing him. He swallowed. ‘I am. Is she going to be alright?’

  She smiled.

  Spirit Witch

  Book Three

  Chapter One

  Winter was driving me nuts. Stark raving bonkers. While I lay limp on the sofa, like some fainting miss from another century, he was cleaning with a vengeance. Yes, it afforded me an excellent view of his nicely shaped bottom, but the man wouldn’t sit still.

  Ordinarily, of course, I wouldn’t have complained. Having someone do my housework for me should have been manna from heaven. But he’d spent all of yesterday cleaning and the day before that. Not to mention most of the weekend as well. I didn’t think there was a single inch of my flat that wasn’t sparkly. Apart from the old lady covered in cobwebs and sitting in the far corner staring at me. But she was another story.

  Brutus was curled up on the windowsill, his tail twitching. Winter had learned the hard way not to interrupt him while he was sleeping. That corner was about the only safe place; everywhere else was being scrubbed and polished to within an inch of its life.

  ‘Why don’t you take a break?’ I suggested.

  His head jerked up. I’d never get tired of those blue eyes looking at me. ‘Are you alright? Do you need a break? A cup of tea? A biscuit? More painkillers? How about…’

  I held up my hand. ‘I’m fine, Rafe,’ I said softly. ‘I don’t need anything. But you need to stop cleaning. There’s no more dirt. You’ve scared it all away.’

  ‘You’re right.’

  I breathed out a sigh of relief.

  ‘I’ll just bleach the grout in the bathroom—’

  ‘Raphael!’ I bawled. ‘Please, no grout! The grout is fine. It doesn’t need bleaching.’

  ‘There’s a bit in the corner that looks grubby.’

  I didn’t think I’d ever had such a long conversation about grout before. In fact, I didn’t think the word grout had ever passed my lips. ‘Just sit down. Relax. You’re like a perpetual-motion machine.’

  He gave a brief nod and perched on the sofa beside me. He was hardly relaxed, however. He looked as if he were about to spring up at the first sign of a mote of dust. I pushed myself up towards him, ignoring the flash of pain that rapidly uncoiled deep in my chest and seemed to spring out in all directions. I leaned my chin on his shoulder.

  ‘Chill for a bit,’ I whispered. I twirled my fingers into the dark curl that was edging adorably round the nape of his neck and gave it a gentle tug. ‘There are other things we can do. You don’t have to clean.’ I let my fingers trail down the nubs of his spine, seeking out the bare skin just above his belt. Winter groaned slightly – then he pulled away. Arse.

  ‘You know what the doctor said.’

  ‘I really do think I’m feeling better.’

  He turned round and met my eyes. ‘Good,’ he said. ‘But we can’t take any chances.’ He dipped his head and brushed his lips against mine, feather light as if he thought his kiss might break me. What he didn’t realise was that the touch of his lips had broken me long ago. I was Winter’s, body and soul. I couldn’t see a future without him in it and all I wanted to do was to feel him wrapped around me for eternity. I couldn’t say exactly when I’d transformed into the sort of soppy sack whom I’d normally slap around the face and truthfully it didn’t really matter. Having Winter here with me was about the best thing that could have happened. But, good grief, he needed to learn the art of relaxing.

  The old lady cackled and I jumped. Winter frowned at me. ‘What’s wrong?’

  Somehow I didn’t think ‘I see dead people’ would encourage him to chill out. ‘Something walked over my grave,’ I dismissed. That was truer to the mark than he realised. ‘It’s nothing.’ The old lady scowled at me as if I’d just cursed her firstborn. I passed a hand in front of my eyes. Maybe I really was going mad.

  ‘Do you need another blanket?’ Winter asked.

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘Shall I plump your cushions so you’re more comfortable?’

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘Do you need…’

  ‘Rafe,’ I sighed. ‘All I need is you.’

  His mouth curved into a smile. ‘You’ve got me, Ivy Wilde. I’m yours.’

  I smiled back happily and snuggled deeper against him. ‘I know.’

  ‘When I lived here,’ the old lady interrupted, ‘I always had flowers on this windowsill.’ She frowned at Brutus. ‘Not a cat. Filthy creatures.’

  Brutus opened a slitted eye in her direction. Wait a hallucinatory minute; could he see her too?

  ‘And my lounge chairs faced in the other direction.’ The old woman sniffed. ‘You have the furniture arranged all wrong.’

  Brutus went back to sleep. I wrinkled my nose; I couldn’t ask my perpetually hungry familiar about the old lady with Winter here. The last thing I wanted was to worry him with the fact that I was still hallucinating. He’d have the doctor round here in an instant. Or worse, he’d demand that I went back into hospital just to be sure that I wasn’t dying. It was lovely having someone so concerned about my health but it could be a bit tiring too.

  Princess Parma Periwinkle, Winter’s familiar, strolled in and gave him a meaningful glance. He shot to his feet. A heartbeat later, there was a knock on the door. Winter all but ran for it.

  I sank down again, hearing a soft murmur of voices. Eve appeared, a hesitant smile on her face. ‘Ivy! How’s the invalid? Are you alright? Is there anything I can get you?’

  I groaned. Death by solicitous concern. ‘I’m fine,’ I told her. ‘Really.’ Then I paused. ‘Actually if you could get me some gummy bears from the corner shop, that’d be lovely.’

  ‘Gummy bears.’ Eve nodded. ‘No problem.’

  ‘And maybe some salt-and-vinegar crisps. A multi-pa
ck. The ones with ridges.’

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘A family-sized chocolate bar,’ I added for good measure. ‘And—’

  Winter rolled his eyes. ‘How about a cup of tea for you both instead?’ he said, heading for the kitchen. I grinned. This was awesome.

  Eve sat down, raising an eyebrow in my direction. ‘You’ve got him wrapped around your little finger.’

  ‘I have – although he’s driving me a little crazy,’ I confided. ‘He won’t take two minutes to sit back and rest. I don’t think unemployment suits him.’

  ‘Have you spoken to him about the Order?’

  I sighed. ‘I’ve tried. It’s like talking to a brick wall. He doesn’t want anything to do with them. But…’ My voice trailed away.

  ‘Without the Order, he doesn’t know what to do with himself.’

  I nodded. Eve understood. The Hallowed Order of Magical Enlightenment might not be my cup of tea but it was what had sustained Winter for many years. Now that he’d abandoned them because of what had happened to me, he was lost. I wanted him to be happy – and being part of the Order made him happy. But now he seemed determined to forget they existed.

  ‘He’s missed,’ Eve said quietly. ‘Not just in Arcane Branch either.’

  I could well believe it. Winter’s dedication to all things bureaucratic and witchy was the stuff of legend. It didn’t matter how many times I told him that what had happened up in Scotland had been entirely voluntary on my part. No one had forced me to half kill myself by absorbing the magic from a teenage necromancer; my eyes were wide open and I knew what I was getting into. When I broached the subject with him, however, Winter always changed it. He was even more stubborn than me – and that took some doing.

  As if bored by us, Princess Parma Periwinkle let out a delicate yawn and wandered towards Brutus, giving the old lady a wide berth in the process. I watched her bat in idle boredom at Brutus’s tail, which was hanging down from the sill, and considered.