Binds

by Rebecca Espinoza

  “Concentrate, Ophelia!” he yells at me. “I need you to want this too.”

  I try, with all of my will to help him, but I’m not sure if I am doing what he expects of me. I keep my focus on the Bind and put all of my longing into the wish I send toward it, willing the band to snap. After focusing for what seems like forever, nothing is happening and I can sense Spencer’s frustration as it fills all of the space around us.

  “Damn it, Ophelia. This isn’t working. It’s not going to work either and do you know why?” He doesn’t wait for me to reply, just launches into a ruthless tirade. “It’s because you’re weak. You have all of this power locked away, but I don’t think you ever had any intention of using it. Why should you? Some man is just going to saunter along and save you, right? Just like Reece. Just like you thought Donovan would do. It seems to be your game plan in life, right? You’re just a princess who needs her knight. This is a waste of my fucking time.”

  His words cut through me like jagged glass. I’m so angry that I can’t think straight. No, he can’t be right. I don’t want that. I want to save myself. Forget this prick. I will save myself. I begin to repeat it in my head like a mantra.

  Save yourself. Save yourself. Save yourself.

  I think of nothing else. I push every thought and every fiber of my being towards that Bind as if this is the turning point in my life, either I succeed or perish. There is no point in going back now. If I can’t get this Bind off, I have nothing to go back to, except a life of placing myself in someone else’s hands and I can’t … I won’t live like that. I don’t need anyone to save me, not anymore. I will save myself.

  I hear a thunderous snap echo around me as the Bind breaks, as well as several of the others. The recoil of the tension whips around us, and Spencer ducks his head to keep it from coming into contact with him.

  He turns to me, triumph in his eyes, “You did it!” He sounds exultant smiling at me, trying to share this success.

  I find the power within myself that I didn’t have before and push him out of my mind. It’s not the easy journey he took to get in. I don’t give him any warning; I see the door and kick his ass through it. I come back to myself on the roof of his building, hand in hand with him. Before I jack my hand away from his, I recognize the feeling of his power in it. It’s like putting your hand on a generator; only this would have to be one of the strongest generators in the world, one that sends off an electrical shock just by touching it. I try to act as if the touch doesn’t affect me, but it does.

  Spencer looks stunned, as if he would never expect me to be able to kick him out of my mind, no matter how strong I may be. Taking advantage of his momentary astonishment, I reel back my arm and punch the stunned expression off his face.

  “Fuck you,” I say as I get up and stomp towards the elevator alcove.

  As the doors open, I hear him yell, “I knew pissing you off would work. You’re welcome, Princess.”

  I don’t give him a response; I just let the doors close behind me. I need to get as far away from him as I can because if I stick around, I just might have to acknowledge that he was right. I was waiting for someone else to save me. As mad as it makes me that he said it, the shame that he of all people knew the truth is too much to bear.

  It’s been a week since Spencer and I were able to get those first few Binds off of me. In that time, I have tried to avoid him as much as possible. He has still made me go up to the roof with him two more times, and we have been successful in removing every Bind but one. Spencer says that it must be keeping me from doing something important, and so he is bound and determined to keep trying. In the meantime, I have found working with Reece every day on my abilities to be a breeze, even though he doesn’t seem to challenge me much. I’m beginning to wonder if that is because I have surpassed his level of ability, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings by suggesting it. So, I keep my mouth shut during our lessons and then, when I am alone in my room, I try to push the boundaries of what he has taught and come up with new ideas to try on my own. In all honesty, I’m pretty bored just hanging around the building. It’s either spend time trying to remove this final Bind with Spencer, or work on magic with Reece. Cass has been distant since the morning after my nightmare, and the other occupants of the building still seem wary or downright unfriendly towards me. I wish Spencer would hold a meeting with all of them and clear my name, but I don’t expect him to do anything that wouldn’t help him or the cause out. He obviously doesn’t think my ability to make friends with the other members of this organization would better either right now.

  This afternoon, I am in a den near the ops room working with Reece on halting Binds. This room looks like one of those formal living rooms that old rich people have in their homes, you know the kind where the furniture is stiff and usually a white or cream color and no one has ever sat on any of it. I should feel right at home here—we had two such rooms back at the Brand palace—but I don’t. We work here every day and from the get go, I opted to sit on the rug rather than lounge on the hard sofa like Reece. Maybe that’s the problem, it reminds me too much of my former home to really be able to relax. It’s hard to imagine that a couple with a child would ever have need of this type of room, but I digress.

  Reece has been trying to teach me how to suspend his motion. It is the same Bind that Spencer did to me that day out at the explosion site. Reece is a good teacher. I have been pretty quick to learn everything he’s told me to do. Yesterday I learned how to make myself disappear from view for a few minutes. It doesn’t last long, but might be helpful to avoid Spencer the next time he comes looking for me to work with him up on the roof. Also, I learned how to stop and start an object while it was in motion. The problem with that trick was that Reece taught me by tossing an expensive looking vase at me. I was able to stop it by freezing it, literally with ice and everything, but then it shattered when I unfroze it and the shards continued on in the direction that the vase was thrown. Reece thought it was pretty cool and could possibly be used in defense if needed. I’m just frustrated that I’m not able to do it without breaking it. It’s a fear that has been on my mind the whole time as I try to figure out how to make Reece stop. What if I accidentally freeze him too?

  “It’s okay, I came prepared,” Reece jokes as he tries to coax me into attempting the Bind. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a pair of heavy gloves and knitted cap. He puts the cap on and starts to ease the gloves on his fingers while I look on, perplexed. “This way, I’ll stay warm if you decide to do to me what you did to that vase yesterday.” He smiles and although I think he’s a dork, I can’t help but feel a bit more at ease. He must really have faith in me if he can joke about this, that or he knows some kind of counter Bind against being frozen to death. Whatever it is, his smile and the joviality in his eyes make me feel like he thinks I can really do this.

  “Okay, I want you to focus on just my legs. I’m going to walk to you slowly and I want you to push your will out towards them. Imagine you are encasing them in cement. Just picture that in your mind and send the image towards me. Don’t worry, you’ll do fine.”

  He rubs the tip of his pointer finger across my cheek as he says it, and I’m thankful he’s wearing those goofy gloves. I’ve tried to avoid touching him or anyone (except for Spencer when we work on the roof … ugh) since having the Bind removed that allows me to feel other people’s spark. I still shudder when I think of the power that Spencer shoots through me every time and I want to dodge that feeling if at all possible. I guess that’s one reason to be happy that no one else wants anything to do with me here. I felt Cass’s spark the other day on accident when she handed me a bottle of detergent in the laundry room, and although her spark wasn’t anywhere near as strong as Spencer’s, it’s going to take me some time to get used to the feeling without giving my dislike away with each touch.

  Reece begins to come at me. He raises his arms up and narrows his eyes in a maniacal manner. I’m having a hard time not laughing
at him, let alone concentrating on his legs.

  “Stop with the look, please, Reece! This is serious. I can’t focus with you doing that. You’re going to wind up with two stumps of ice for legs if you keep it up.”

  He smirks at my comment and then clears his expression to give me a serious, yet positive eye. I concentrate my gaze on his legs as instructed. I have found that it is not necessary for me to verbalize my Binds, however I feel more confident when I do so and with his appendages on the line, I decide that I will need all the confidence I can get. I put my will behind my tongue as I open my mouth and utter, “Suspend.” I can’t explain how the word comes to me, but along with every other one I have conjured while trying to cast a Bind, it seems like the monster within just knows the right one to use. The word seems to have worked, and too well. Instead of just stopping Reece’s legs, his whole body has become immobilized. I feel horrible because I know how it feels to lose all operation of your body, but at the same time, elated that I was able to pull off the Bind with little difficulty on my part.

  The somewhat bewildered look that has been frozen on Reece’s face seems to display his shock at my ability. I reach out and grab his gloved hand, giving it a squeeze. Phew, he is not cold to the touch, no ice at all. “Okay, how to get you unstuck now,” I say to myself. We really didn’t get into the logistics of what to do if the Bind worked. I try to concentrate on removing it, but begin to worry when the magic doesn’t flow as easily to my lips this time. I push my will onto him to move and attempt to connect with the Mage part of myself that would be able to solve this problem, but nothing happens.

  Five minutes later and I am beginning to really sweat. The expression on Reece’s face is not helping the circumstance at all. I feel like the surprised look has now morphed into a fearful one that has been there all along. Was he worried when he felt the Bind coming over him that this was going to happen? Ugh. Why didn’t I ask him what to do before attempting it? Maybe I have gotten too cocky with the ease of abilities I have learned.

  Just as I am about to give up and ask Spencer for help with my tail between my legs, I decide to give it one more go. I close my eyes as I did that first day that I consciously performed a Bind and asked my mother for her help. This time, I just repeat the desire over and over in my mind: You can do this, move, move, move, Reece. I want you to move.

  I open my eyes as the Bind pops into my mouth, I open my lips to let it out, “Animate.” Reece swiftly regains motion like a paused movie once the play button is hit. He looks as if his eyes are going to bulge out of his skull; he is staring at me as if I am a foreign being.

  “Ophelia … you just performed a reawakening Bind.” He sounds like he can hardly believe the words.

  “Yeah, it took me a couple minutes to figure that one out. I was worried that you were going to be stuck like that until I could go fetch Spencer to fix it. So happy I didn’t have to bring him into this, huh?” I’m smiling at him, but his face is alarming me. He still has that look of terrified admiration in his eyes and it is starting to give me the creeps.

  “You don’t understand … it’s an extremely rare ability. Normally, if someone performs a freezing Bind, they have to just wait it out until the Bind wears off. Stopping someone else’s will takes an extremely strong Mage as it is. I can’t do it, I just know the theory behind performing it—but reanimating someone once they are like that—it’s almost impossible, Ophelia. I only know of one other Mage capable of it.”

  “Let me guess. Spencer, right?” I know the answer to this already. Spencer performed the Bind on me after our scuffle and it seemed effortless at the time. I never would have known that he was using some extreme Mage superpower.

  Reece nods and lowers his head as if in thought. “Look, I knew you were strong, heck, anyone who has touched you knows that. It’s just surprising to see how strong now that you have those Binds off and can really show what you can do.” He sighs and his tone takes on a serious edge, “I didn’t mean to freak you out. Listen, Ophelia, some of this stuff … the more power that you show … it could get you into trouble. I don’t know what Spencer’s plans are for you, and, honestly, I don’t think he does either. However, if he finds out about some ability that he can use against the NWO, I know that he is going to try and use it. I think it might be best if we keep some things between just the two of us for now. Okay?”

  His warning doesn’t come as a surprise to me, but at the same time, I feel really sneaky and underhanded when I nod my agreement back to him. Spencer has helped me remove the Binds that allow me to harness this power. He has kept me here, sheltered from the Brands and asked nothing of me in return … so far.

  “All right,” I say as he reaches out and grabs my hand with his gloved one. “I won’t tell anyone, but you have to promise that you will keep working with me. Even if the abilities aren’t something you can do, just hearing you tell me I can do it … it goes a long way in boosting my confidence. I appreciate that, Reece. I really do.”

  “Of course,” he says as he gives my hand a squeeze. There is amusement in his voice as he continues, “Helping you is what I’m here for.” He gets a mischievous glint in his eye. “After all, when shit finally goes down with the NWO, it’ll be nice to have someone I can run and hide behind to protect me.”

  “Oh, I see.” I join him, laughing at his last statement. “So, I’m like your insurance policy. Is that how it is? Train me to use my abilities so that I can save your ass.”

  He moves in closer to me. “You know I’m just joking, Phee. I told you before and I will say it as many times as I have to. I’m going to be the one that saves you … every time.” His forehead is nearly pressed against mine when he says this. I can feel the solemnity in his eyes, however, I can’t help but listen to that nagging voice in the back of my mind, the one that sounds an awful lot like Spencer Donnelly telling me I don’t need a savior because I can save myself.

  I pull back and try to lighten the mood. “You know, I wonder how the first Mage found out about their abilities. I mean, one day you’re just walking along and decide to make something move with your mind? How does the thought even occur to someone?”

  I grab my water bottle off of the coffee table and take a swig, setting myself down on the rug and resting against a wingback chair. Reece follows suit, plopping down on the sofa facing me and laying back against the stiff cushions.

  “I should tell you the legend of how our people began. I sometimes forget with how quickly you pick up everything that you didn’t grow up in the regular Mage lifestyle so you wouldn’t already know of our legends.”

  I say nothing; only prod him on with the interest in my eyes. Reece is a born public speaker and storyteller. I think that is the reason Spencer conceded with him to train me and teach me about Mages to begin with. The way he has told me stories this week about the times he and Cass were in hiding, to one time when Jinx found him on one of the computers in the ops room and had a conniption fit, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he weaves a little Mage magic into his words and Binds the listener to become enthralled.

  “All right, where should I begin? I guess I should tell you first that there is no exact history of our people. Some of the stories have been written down by older generations, but Mages don’t have historians, and we don’t have scientists studying our genes, trying to figure us out. It’s an unspoken law of our community that we don’t bring any outsiders, or commons, into the fold because we don’t want to be treated as science experiments. Most of our written history is done so as fairytales, even though the older generations swear that they are true. Mages have passed down their history through bedtime stories to their children and sharing with family around the fire in their living rooms. In this way, if any of it leaks out to the ordinary people, and it has, they won’t take it as anything but silly tales.

  “So, you want to know where the first Mages came from. Well, hundreds of years ago in the old countries in what is now Europe; people were aware of the f
act that they weren’t the only beings around. They lived amongst all kinds of fabled creatures, giants, elves, and selkies. The occasional Cyclops here and there—”

  I stop him because this is too much, “Cyclops, elves … really? I appreciate the humor, but if you don’t really know how Mages came to be, you can just say so. I like fairy tales just as much as any girl, but I live in the real world. None of these mythical creatures have ever existed. There is just no proof of it anywhere.”

  “Phee, a couple of weeks ago, you probably would have said the same thing about Mages. If one fantastical group of people exists, why can’t you try to believe that there have been more? Now, I’m not saying that these creatures are still around. No one, not even any of our people that I’m aware of, have reported seeing them for a long time, but our oral history shows that they were very much in existence centuries ago.”

  His reproachful tone on the subject silences my protests any further, but my reservations on the issue still stand. This sounds like a large load of phooey, if you ask me.

  “Okay, along with these other mythical creatures, there were the Fae.” He gives me a questioning eye as if waiting for me to complain again. I raise my brows at this latest being added to his list. What could Tinker Bell have to do with me and the other Mages occupying the space of this building? Whatever, I’m going to just sit back and take this little story for exactly what it seems to be, a fairytale, nothing more. I give him a go on nod and hope that my eyes convey to him that I won’t make fun of his tall tale again.

  When it seems he is sure that I am going to keep my mouth shut, he continues, “The Fae, it is said, used to roam this world as freely as humans did back in the old country. Mind you, we aren’t talking about tiny little sprites with wings, although those were around back then too, evil little things they were, no, the Fae could pass as a human being undetected—unless you were to focus on their lack of human emotions. This is not to say that humans and Fae didn’t share any of the same emotions or thoughts. The Fae had long been known to have a tendency towards lust and envy. But, when it came to love, compassion, kindness, anger, or regret, those were all singularly human traits.