Binds

by Rebecca Espinoza

  Donovan looks surprised that I so flippantly changed the subject, but he acquiesces and allows me to walk past him into my room. Allie is sitting on the bed looking towards the bathroom door, tense, as if waiting for Donovan to carry out my dead body.

  He comes out right on my heels. I can feel his breath on me. I hurry over to my dresser where I have piled my clean clothes and turn around giving him a look that says give me some privacy, I want to get dressed, you bastard … well, I hope that’s what the look says because I damn well know I can’t actually say it aloud.

  “Get dressed. I think you may have been made aware of a few things by your new friends, but I think there are also a couple of details they may have left out. I want to see the look on your face when you realize exactly who it is you’ve decided to embrace as friends.” He takes a look at Allie and then back to me. “Maybe this way you’ll be a little more selective about who you choose to trust in the future.”

  He steps outside the door to wait while I pull my clothes on, and I give Allie a quick shake of the head to let her know not to say anything. The door is still open a crack and I know he will be listening to everything we say. I don’t even know why he allowed me privacy to change. He’s been acting strangely accommodating for a man who was just beating the living shit out of me yesterday. I wonder if he’s trying to play nice now and why.

  I slip on the boots that Spencer gave me, for some reason I have become pretty attached to them. They’re the only things I have left, besides my soiled clothing and jacket from my brief stint of freedom. I wear them like a talisman giving me strength and pushing me onward. I slip out of the door with Allie behind. Donovan shoots her an irritated look then turns to me with warning. It’s his way of letting me know that she will be the collateral damage if I slip up in any way.

  He begins walking through the hallways and down the stairs until we get to his study. He casts his eyes back to me before pushing the door open and gives me an almost comical grin. I can tell he’s extremely excited about whatever awaits us inside. The door swings open, and as I pass through the doorway, I get my first glimpse of them.

  Reece is sitting slumped in one of the black leather office chairs, and Cass is on her knees in front of him staring at his face with a worried expression. She turns our way as we pass through the doors and stands up, taking a protective stance over Reece.

  “You gave me your word as a Mage!” she shouts at Donovan. “You told me we would both be protected if I brought her to you. What have you done to him? He can hardly open his eyes, they’re so swollen.”

  “Sit down, little girl,” Donovan commands. Cass is knocked back on her butt, and a ragged gasp escapes her lips as she falls. “You’re right. I did give you my word as a Mage. However, your friend here has been harmed … extensively.” There is an alarming sense of pleasure as he says that word. “Therefore, we can all draw the conclusion that my word as a Mage means nothing, but seeing as how I am not one, why should it?”

  Although I think that Donovan was hoping to draw surprise from me at his proclamation, he is sure to be disappointed. I still haven’t taken my eyes off of Cass since she admitted to bargaining me for their safety. I know she can feel my eyes on her, but she hasn’t looked at me once. I’m not surprised at this revelation. The surprise comes in the fact that I had never noticed the depth of Cass’s feelings for Reece. Now that I see them together, the way she tried to stand over him protectively, the way she is watching him now as he is beginning to come to in Donovan’s office chair, I recognize the longing in her eyes for exactly what it is. Love and the worst kind too, love unrequited.

  I know what that love can do to you. I gaze back at Donovan and remember what it did to me once, what the outcome of that love, now lost, is still doing to me. That kind of love doesn’t make fools of us, it morphs us into completely different people than the ones we were before. It pulls away our morals; it strips away our ability to reason, all the while dressing us up to think that the outcome will be worth the price. More often than not, the only payout is shame for forking over the attributes that meant more to us than that love ever could.

  Poor Cass, even after all of this, I feel sorry for her. It’s evident what Reece feels for her. I remember him telling me how his sister made him watch Pretty Woman over and over again that evening when he took me from Donovan. I also remember his story about having to follow after her on a day of shopping. He loves her, but as a sometimes bothersome little sister. That’s the way he sees her, the only way he will ever see her. Looking at her now, I can tell that he’s the sun her world revolves around, and the only reason she had to turn me in to Donovan was to secure that sun when she began to perceive it shifting to someone else and leaving her out in the cold.

  Pity for Cass penetrates the horrible sense of betrayal I feel for her in this moment. She has fallen victim to one of love’s largest faults, allowing jealousy to control her actions and being love-blinded enough to not first think through the possible outcomes. Unless the object of the affection is a complete psychopath, no man is ever going to fall at the feet of the woman who throws another one under a bus to get to him.

  “If you’re not a Mage, what are you?” Cass utters, still on the floor where Donovan cast her. Disoriented, her black skirt has ridden up around her hips and her panties would be revealed if it weren’t for the fact that she’s wearing ebony tights underneath. The image makes me think of a child playing dress up in their mother’s clothes and then rolling around on the floor when playtime comes.

  “So many secrets to tell, right, Reece?” A smile curls Donovan’s lips and I can tell that he has been waiting for this moment. There is a groan from Reece at his words, and I look to see that his eyes are on me. I can’t tell if the look in them is attributed to the agony of what Donovan has done to him or something else, but they seem to be searching my face and pleading with me … but to do what?

  Suddenly, there is a loud crashing BOOM that shakes the house like an earthquake and Allie is knocked off her feet. I go to help her up as the phone on Donovan’s desk starts to ring.

  “What was that?” Donovan asks as he picks it up.

  As the person on the other end of the phone begins speaking, the room is silent and then … moments later, another boom. One of the windows begins to crack. Allie and I push back to the wall, and I can hear a screeching, hissing sound like the ones fireworks make before exploding. Just as I think this, there is another blast and the building shudders once again.

  “Take care of it,” Donovan is saying into the phone. “There are a hundred troops situated around this house, why are you calling me for approval? Squash this nonsense now!”

  Allie is emitting this low, insane giggle at my side and I turn to her. “I know what that sound was,” she whispers in my ear, her voice full of hope and mirth. “It’s the SSA. We’ve never even gotten a good test done on those whistlers. I guess there’s no time like the present to test them out.”

  “Whistlers? What’s a whistler?” I ask quickly, before Donovan pulls his attention back to us.

  “Hand-held rockets. The NWO tracks the sale and circulation of all weaponry within the country, so we’ve had to get creative and invent our own. Thankfully, we’ve got a brilliant chemist on our team. He’s created almost all of our alternative weapons. I hope he’s out there somewhere getting to see this. He had to stay back the other night and didn’t get to see his Jell-O slingers in action.”

  “Jell-O slingers? You people need some help naming things … Sugar Skull Army, Whistlers, and now Jell-O slingers. Come on, not very remarkable names,” I whisper back as Donovan bellows out more orders at whoever is on the other line.

  “There’s nothing wrong with Jell-O slingers … the things are coated in gelatin. I think it’s a great name,” she replies, with a trace of insult in her voice.

  “You came up with it, didn’t you?” I ask dryly.

  “Oh, shush. Why don’t you join us? You can be Chief in Charge of Running Awa
y Scared and Naming Things. Let’s hear you come up with one better, hmm?” Allie snaps back.

  “Are you asking me to join your Skulls?”

  “Maybe,” Allie says with a wry smile.

  Before I can give her a response, Donovan breaks our exchange. He slams the phone down and casts his eyes around the room and back to us.

  “Just a little interruption, it’ll be taken care of momentarily.” He sounds confident of this fact and I can see from the arrogance in his eyes, he truly believes it. What I wouldn’t give to see that arrogance wiped away and replaced by fear or self-doubt.

  “Now, where were we? Oh yes, we were talking about our little chimera friend Reece here.” He nods his head towards Reece, but keeps his eyes locked on me the whole time. Having no idea what a chimera is, I look to Reece to see his reaction, but he has his head down, looking defeated. Donovan continues on, “For our kind, chimeras are fairly common. It’s the result of twins being fused together at the beginnings of life. Before the mother even knows that she is with child, the dominant twin will absorb the weaker one, becoming only one being. When the baby is born, they’ll have the characteristics of two and therefore generally be stronger and have more natural powers. To our people, this is something to celebrate. A chimera child is revered because they will grow to be a very powerful member of the community.”

  “What is your kind and what does this have to do with Reece?” Cass asks. Before she can say more, Donovan’s eyes flash to her like a whip.

  “Silence,” he states and she is rendered incapable of speech. Her mouth opens and closes like a fish startled to be pulled up by a fisherman’s net and tossed on the bank.

  Donovan turns back to me. “I was talking to my wife. Mages have such disrespectful children, being sent to the reformatory will do her good.” He gives Allie a quick glance, almost as if he is seeking her encouragement to continue, that this strange conversation is something vitally important to all of us and we are equally appalled at Cass’s behavior. I have always known Donovan to be egotistical, but his head seems to have swollen to massive proportions in the weeks I’ve been away.

  “It would seem that Mages, and humans, as well, aren’t very familiar with the occurrence of a chimera, although there has been more than one case of the phenomenon for both. In the instance of Reece here, his parents were split on the knowledge. His mother knew, but his father was kept in the dark. Thankfully for Ronald Brand, I came along at just the right time and was able to shed some light on his son’s circumstance, not to mention dear old Dad was more than happy to let me take his son’s place. Isn’t that right, Reece?” Donovan walks over to Reece and pats him on the shoulder like a friend.

  “Oberon? What would Oberon have to do with Reece?” I murmur. I’m afraid to ask. I don’t want to end up speechless like Cass, but I also have a bad feeling that I don’t want to know the answer. There’s a pain in the base of my stomach telling me I don’t want to know any more of this. I can live forever in ignorance; this awareness is going to kill me.

  “Oberon,” Donovan says in disgust, “Shakespeare’s King of the Fae. What a title for a pretentious pretender to anoint himself. When my Queen is rightly placed upon the throne of earth, there will be a special punishment for that clown.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I state, more bravely than I feel.

  “It’s part of what I’ve wanted to tell you. My name is not Donovan Brand and I’m no Mage. I’ve only pretended to be one because Ronald Brand wanted a more powerful son than the one he ended up with naturally. My name is Elias and I am Queen Annora of the Faes’ faithful servant. I was sent here eleven years ago to prepare the world for her coming. I got lucky and was able to marry the daughter of her rival, the whore Mage Morgan Fay. She is the woman who stole the King from our people and created a bastard child that threatens our queen’s rule. The bastard child being you … of course.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Allie cuts in at this moment. As the sounds of attack are nearing closer, she seems to be getting bold. “So, you’re a fairy, everyone else in the room is a Mage, and I guess that would make me a ninja elf. Any other magical creatures lurking about?”

  Before Donovan can respond to Allie’s comment, I cut him off, “Don’t you dare call my mother a whore, you freaking bat-shit crazy lunatic.”

  “Don’t take that tone with me, wife,” Donovan adds emphasis to the word wife, making it a word of possession and condemnation. “Your mother was a whore. Our King Aslem used her and left her at the wayside. It’s because of her that the Queen decided to attack, it’s because of her that man and Mage-kind alike will be enslaved and ruled over like the cattle they are. I hold this title and am the Queen’s chosen emissary, only due to the fact that I used this otherwise worthless chimera to exterminate her.”

  “Phee, please let me explain,” Reece begins, but Donovan cuts him off.

  “No, I don’t think you will,” he says with a smile. “You had her for two weeks and obviously told her about Mages and who knows what else, but from that confused look she has now, I can tell that you didn’t deign to tell her the most important thing about yourself, did you?” He shakes his head with a self-satisfied sneer and turns back to me. “Yes, that’s right, Ophelia, the man you have been with for the past couple of weeks is your mother’s murderer.”

  Each word strikes me as quickly as lightning. The burning feeling in my heart proves the words were uttered, but my mind is having a hard time grasping for meaning behind them. This thunder roaring through my body is evidence of the damage left in their wake.

  “How is this possible? Reece, this isn’t true, tell me it’s not true. Please,” I plead with him, but the pleas are useless. He doesn’t have to answer me because I can see the truth in his eyes. I see him trying to make me understand with no words at all, but I can’t. I never will.

  “Reece’s chimera was only known by his mother, who kept it from his father his entire life. He appears to be a worthless Mage. I’m sure you’ve touched him.” Donovan’s lip curls up at this statement in distaste. “You’ve probably touched him the way you WILL start touching me again, wife. In doing so, you probably noticed that he has no spark. He carried this advantage from his Natural side, the same side that is completely proficient in shape shifting. I’ve never seen the like, a shape shifter that can take on the appearance of anyone. The only thing that remains of him is his eyes. Yet, he has just enough Ascender in him to pass himself off as a mediocre Mage as well, perhaps tricking an unsuspecting woman that he is just a harmless friend trying to rescue her from a bad situation. Isn’t that right, Donovan Brand?”

  Hearing Donovan … or Elias, as he said, call my Reece by that name is the final hole in the ship that sinks me deep into an abyss of despair. Who the fuck can I ever trust? There are noises coming from behind the study door, loud voices and sounds of a commotion, and yet I can only focus on the depths of my solitude. I run through the list in my mind. All of the people that I have wanted to trust, all of the people who have either used me or straight out lied to me, including my supposed husband, Reece, Cass, Spencer—even my mother by not telling me the truth about what I am, about my father…

  My father. Who is he, really? Are these insane things that Elias revealed tonight to be believed as truth when I can’t seem to believe anything anymore? Am I a bastard child of the King of the Fae? Then, it hits me, almost knocking me off my feet like Cass earlier…

  Princess, Spencer always called me princess. ‘As for Princess, I only call you that because it suits you,’ he had said that day up on the roof. He knew.

  Elias laughs, stirring me from my ruminations. “Come now, don’t be upset, Phee. Your mother stood in the way of your powers, too. With your father and mother’s blood combined, you are more Fae than Mage, and thus more dominant than any of them, including my pseudo father who believes himself to be the most powerful of all. Thankfully, your mother hid your powers from Brand as well, or he may have used his son to di
spose of you, too.”

  I can’t listen to this anymore. I feel Allie’s hand on my shoulder, giving me her support, and I remember her telling me to use her strength when I need it. If there ever would be a time that I did, this would be it.

  I turn to Reece, unable to think of him as Donovan and barely able to look at him, I have to ask, “Why? Why did you do it? What could my mother ever have done to deserve it?” I’m crying now, each word is coming out as a bellowing shriek.

  Reece swallows and looks me in the eyes as he responds, his own green orbs misty with tears. “I just wanted to finally make my father see me. I was only nineteen and had lived my whole life with him thinking I was worthless and telling me constantly that I was. My dad was obsessed with your mother, so much so that he continually tormented my own while she was alive, about how he should have married yours and how my mom produced him a worthless offspring who was as weak as she was. My mom went to her grave being told she was second best, knowing my father would be celebrating her death as an opportunity to finally have the woman he really wanted.”

  “My mother didn’t even want him!” I scream at Reece. I remember now, Oberon coming to my mom’s shop when I was a kid. Some of the details are fuzzy from the years passing, but I remember Reece as a child and how his father regarded him. I remember the hate I saw in his eyes and the fear that they caused in me.

  “I know,” Reece replies. “I was young and stupid. I had so much anger towards my father for what he did to my mother and me. I projected it all at yours, as if all of it was her fault. I know I was wrong. I’ve known it since the second I did it. I’ve been trying to make amends to you for what I’ve done by saving you from the life you were living. I know you will never forgive me. I’ll never forgive myself, but I was ready to give up my whole life making it up to you, making sure that you never have to go through that kind of pain again.”

  Donovan barks out a laugh of derision. “You are in no way cut out for the job of protector for my wife. You were barely able to carry out the murder of her mother, even after I planted the motivation in your mind. Mage children are so easily manipulated—as you can tell from my new servants being pumped out of our reformatories even as we speak, ready to do the bidding of our queen. It’s only right; they were our children first. The humans made us flee centuries ago. We are just claiming what is rightfully ours again.”