The woman behind the counter doesn’t want to tell us where Drea is, and I’m about to lose my shit on her when I see the cop from the motel room standing outside a closed curtain.
“Hey,” I call out, lifting my hand to wave.
He nods and walks toward us. “They just moved her to a room, so you can see her there. In the meantime,” he looks between us. “I need to get your statement.”
“My mom’s on her way.”
He leads us to an elevator and I ache to fill the silence, but there’s nothing to left to say. Xavier’s back to ignoring-me mode and I’m sure the cop has better things to worry about than my neuroses. We stop at a closed door. “I’ll be out here. Grab me when your mother arrives.”
I nod, and he pushes the door open. Drea’s tucked into a bed covered in white linens, dwarfed by the machines surrounding her. A bandage covers the cut on her cheek. Pillows prop her in a sitting position, and another rests under her arm, which hangs from a sling around her neck. I rush to her side and grab the hand on her good arm. Xavier trails behind me, seeming uncertain, but she smiles at both of us.
“My heroes.”
“Hardly,” I say.
“I’m serious.” Her voice is stronger than it was at the motel, more like the Drea I know. “I’ve seen him mad more times than I can count, but never like that. If you hadn’t come when you did…” she shakes her head, and tears burn my eyes. She’s already been through so much yet she seems ready to take on the world.
“I’m just glad we could help you,” Xavier says from the foot of the bed. His voice is thick and scratchy, and when I look at him, his eyes shine in the fluorescent light.
“Have you talked to your parents?” I ask.
She nods. “They weren’t supposed to be home from Dad’s work trip until later tonight, but they left early.” She touches her cheek. “I’ve only got a couple hours to make this look less horrific.”
I try to smile but it comes out wobbly.
“Are you both okay?” Her gaze lingers on mine with unspoken questions. We nod, the tension between Xavier and me filling the room. I squeeze her hand again as my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Mom’s here.
“I have to go give my statement, but I’ll be back as soon as we’re done.” I brush her hair from her face and my heart feels fuller than it has in a very long time. This is the first time I’ve put someone else before myself and I don’t know how to handle these emotions.
I glance at Xavier as I leave the room, but he doesn’t look up.
Mom’s pacing near the entrance to the emergency room, the automatic doors opening and closing with each turn. The panic on her face eases when she sees me and she pulls me into her arms. “I know you said you were okay, but my imagination went a little wild on the drive here.” She grips my shoulders and pushes me back to look in my eyes. “I want to know everything that happened, but I suppose I can hear while we talk to the police, right?”
A woman coming through the automatic doors catches my eye. She looks like Xavier’s mom, but before I get a good look at her, the cop from the motel interrupts my thoughts.
“We can talk in an office down the hall.”
Once we’re settled in the glorified closet, he pulls out his notepad. “Walk me through what happened. There’s no right or wrong, I just need to hear your version of the events this morning.”
Mom grabs my hand and I take a deep breath. I start with the text from Drea and the call to Xavier. If Mom’s irritated he’s involved, she doesn’t let on. The cop’s pen keeps pace with me, and as I tell them what happened, Mom’s grip on my hand grows tighter and tighter. When it’s finally over, he closes the notepad and shakes my hand. “Your friend is lucky to have you. In the future, call us first.”
I nod, and he leaves us alone in the office.
Mom touches my cheek and her eyes fill with tears. “I’m so proud of you.”
“You’re not mad?”
“I’m terrified that you put yourself in that situation and would never wish that for you again, but you may have saved that girl’s life.”
Irritation prickles me. “Her name is Drea.”
“Yes, Drea.” She drops her hand and a frown tugs at her lips. “I know I haven’t been the best role model, and I know I’ve often made things more difficult than they need to be.” I open my mouth to object, even though she’s right, but she holds up her hand to stop me. “Let me say this. Your father leaving was a wake-up call. I realized I can’t keep living my life like no one else matters, because eventually there won’t be anyone else. My marriage may be over, but you will always be my daughter and I can’t let you slip away, too.”
“So what does this mean?” She’s saying the right things, but years of disappointment have taught me to be wary of Miranda Vines’ promises.
“It means I’m going to stop worrying so much about what other people think and focus on what makes me happy. And that includes what makes you happy.”
My mind immediately jumps to Xavier. Why couldn’t she have had this revelation two weeks ago? “That’s great, Mom.” I’m not convinced she means it, but I’ve been trying to be a better person, so maybe there’s hope for her, too.
She stands and I follow her into the hallway.
“You probably need to get back to work, huh?”
She faces me. “I’ve got a little more time.”
This might not be the right place, but when has that stopped me? “Mom?”
She meets my eyes, her face relaxed. Calm.
“Something else has been bothering me and…” I wave my hand at the sterile hallway. “No time like the present?”
She adjusts her purse on her shoulder. “What’s going on?”
My mind drifts upstairs to Xavier. He’s probably doing his best to distract Drea from what happened, from what she’s facing moving forward. “I know you have your reasons for not liking Xavier, but…” Just spit it out. I level my gaze at her. “I think you’re wrong.”
Her shoulders stiffen and her eyes narrow, but she doesn’t erupt.
She doesn’t say anything.
Just once I wish she wouldn’t make this difficult. That she wouldn’t dismiss my opinions with a sneer and make me doubt that what I’m feeling is right. Because I am right. I’ve faithfully emulated her my entire life and now it’s like the curtain’s been lifted, revealing a flawed woman desperate to hide her true self from the world.
Her jaw ticks and I swallow past the lump in my throat. Things might be over with Xavier, but my feelings for him haven’t gone away and if she really wants to change, I should help, right? “He’s the sweetest boy I’ve ever met and you treated him like something I pulled from the trash.” Poor choice of words. I can already hear her say, “Technically, you did.”
Because that’s what Old Brianna would say.
Her gaze softens and her arms cross tight over her chest like she’s shielding herself, but she holds her chin high.
“I hope it’s just his earrings or tattoos or crappy car, and not the color of his skin, but I honestly don’t know.” I take a quick breath. “And I need to know if my mother’s just judgmental, or if she’s also a racist.”
She takes a tiny step back, and to her credit, looks shocked. She grips her purse strap like it’s all that’s holding her here. “I—I couldn’t care less what color he is.” Her eyes dart around the hall as if she’s making sure no one is listening. “Yes, I judged him based on his appearance, but that’s only because I was protecting you.”
“From the scary Mexican?”
She shakes her head. “I only want what’s best for you. Maybe I haven’t expressed that well, but—”
“You would like him if you gave him a chance.”
She catches her fingernail between her teeth, but jerks her hand away as if scolding herself and rests her hand on my arm. The contact feels foreign, forced. “I’d like that.”
“Me too.” Never mind that he’s no longer speaking to me.
> “Maybe he could come over for dinner this weekend?”
My heart leaps, then crashes just as quickly. “Doubtful.” If there’s anyone he wants to see less than me, it’s probably her.
Her forehead creases. “But you just said…”
“Today is the first time we’ve spoken since you…” She didn’t exactly kick him out, but it had the same effect. “Since you met him.”
Her face crumples and the next thing I know I’m in her arms, her perfume invading my senses. It’s awkward and we don’t fit together like a mother and daughter should, but she’s trying. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll try to be better.” She pulls back and looks me in the eye. “Is there anything I can do?”
My smile is shaky. “I think this one’s on me.”
We linger for a few more minutes, then I walk her to the exit with promises that we’ll talk more tonight. I’m not naïve enough to believe things will change overnight, but this feels like a turning point. Like a new Before and After.
Mom’s determination to change fills me with hope as I head upstairs to see Drea. As the elevator rises, I pull out my phone and scroll to the picture. Miss Simpson is smiling at Cally’s dad like there’s no one else in the coffee shop, and he’s reaching for her hand. My gut twists. What was I hoping to accomplish with this? Aside from making Cally feel stupid and pissing off one of the nicest teachers in school, the high would be short-lived and I’d feel even worse.
With a quick breath, I hit delete and put my phone back in my pocket. A weight lifts from my shoulders and I straighten my neck.
I can do this. I can be good.
I step off the elevator into an empty hallway and fluff my hair. Xavier may think this is over, but I have to give it one last try.
But when I open the door to Drea’s room, Xavier is gone.
ONE MONTH LATER
“You sure I can’t convince you to try?”
Drea shakes her head and takes a sip of her coffee. I’ve been trying to get her on the slopes for the past two weeks but so far she’s refused. “I don’t like to move any faster than my feet can carry me.” She nods at her arm, which is still in a sling. “Plus my doctor might have something to say about me damaging his work.”
Colton didn’t just break her arm—he shattered the bone in her upper arm and they had to put in steel rods to hold it together. The rest of her has healed, at least physically, and while she’s gotten the all-clear to return to her normal life, it’s like Colton broke something inside her that day. We’ve been spending a lot of time together after school and on the weekends, and I’m slowly starting to see the girl I got to know on the Chain Gang. I’m hopeful she just needs more time. She’ll have to see Colton at his trial in a couple months and I’ve promised to be by her side for the whole thing.
“Do you need to get going?” Drea asks. I’m heading to Eldora, alone and with my brand new snowboard. After the drama at the motel, Mom’s made a bigger effort to talk to me and I told her I’ve started snowboarding. It was under the tree in our new condo a couple days after Christmas, shining in its pink and white gloriousness. There were also hot pink snowpants and a matching jacket, but I exchanged them for something less flashy.
Maybe I really am changing.
We hug goodbye and I promise to come over tomorrow, then I’m in my 4Runner heading to Eldora. It snowed overnight and tomorrow is a government holiday, which means the entire school will be there. And it’s Sunday, which means the ski team kids could be there too.
Which is what I’m counting on.
I still haven’t had an actual conversation with Blake or Cally. I’ve cornered Blake a couple times between classes and while he usually looks right through me, the last time I said hi they didn’t chased me away. Mike seems to be coming around a little faster. We met for coffee last week and I think I’ve convinced her that Old Brianna is gone for good. Now that she’s with her boyfriend Mica she seems to have an ease about her that was always just beneath the surface. I don’t know if it was me that held her back before, but I made her promise to put me in my place if my old controlling self reappears.
As for Kenzie, she’s taken whatever power-trip I used to be on and multiplied it by a thousand. She’s got an army of underclassmen who do whatever she tells them, and I’m a tiny bit afraid she’s plotting something to humiliate me. But whatever it is, I can handle it. After being arrested, having Dad walk out, working on the Chain Gang, then facing down Drea’s crazed abusive boyfriend, I can take whatever Kenzie dreams up.
Besides, she was never the creative one.
The parking lot at Eldora is already packed, so I park near the back and change my boots at the car. It took me awhile to admit it, but everything about boarding is easier. The falling still hurts, but before I’d have to carry my gear and change in the lodge, while now I can walk in my cushy boots with nothing but my board resting on my shoulder. My season pass is attached to my jacket, so I walk straight to the chairlift and attach my front foot.
The first couple runs are a little rough—it’s not the same without a smoking hot instructor who gives you kisses when you do a good job—but I’m learning to love the way my board responds to the slightest movement of my body. My core has gotten stronger and to anyone else, it looks like I actually know what I’m doing.
I’m trying not to care what other people think, but I can’t stop cold turkey.
The line for the lift is longer than when I first arrived, so I slide into the singles line. It sucks because you get paired up with a random, but at least the line is shorter.
When it’s almost my turn, a low voice startles me.
“Is this seat taken?”
I see his board first—blue with navy swirls—then my gaze slowly moves up his body until I’m looking into Xavier’s eyes.
An uncertain smile plays on his lips.
“That’s why I’m in the singles line.” His smile fades and I wink. “I’d like to say I planned this, but I didn’t know you were here.”
The pair in front of us gets in the chair and we move forward as the next one swings around. Once we’re seated, I’m at a loss. He’s never far from my thoughts, but he hasn’t reached out a single time since we talked at the hospital. So why now?
As the chairlift carries us higher into the air, a sense of calm washes over me. Up here, it’s just you and nature. Life and all the drama that comes with it is far below. It’ll still be there when I come down, but for now, I soak in the quiet.
That said, I’d really like him to say something.
Sitting six inches away from him on a bench twenty feet in the air is a special kind of torture. Especially if he’s not going to talk. Maybe he didn’t plan for us to be in line together and rather than let someone else go, he figured he’d be polite. When we get to the top, we’ll go our separate ways and pretend nothing ever happened between us.
My heart’s slowly breaking all over again when he clears his throat.
“I’ve missed you.”
I’ve imagined him saying those words so many times that at first I don’t realize he actually said them. I shift my body to look at him—peripheral vision’s a joke with a helmet and goggles—and he’s watching me. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“Drea told me you’ve been hanging out a lot.”
“Yeah. Her arm is really jacked up but the rest of her seems to be getting better.” My gaze drops to his gloved hands, which are gripping the guard rail. “Thank you again for helping that day. I don’t know what would have happened if I’d gone there alone.” I’ve imagined it a lot and every scenario ends with me in the hospital alongside Drea. Because I would have fought to protect her and I’m not stupid enough to think it would have made a difference. He would have tossed me aside like a rag doll—or worse.
“I’ve thought about that. A lot. And that’s how I realized….” he trails off and my heart flutters. I don’t want to get my hopes up but he’s already said he misses me and why else would he be here with me now? �
��I still care for you,” he says. “I’m still pissed about the whole thing with your mom, but you can’t help who your parents are.”
I smile. “She’s actually gotten better. I think that day snapped her out of whatever self-absorbed haze she’s lived in for most of my life and she actually seems to care.”
“I’m glad.” He looks out over the trees. “How’s the new place?”
“It’s not so bad. It’s smaller and I don’t have a spot in the garage, but Mom’s tried really hard to make it feel cozy.” She even found whatever combination of products our former cleaning lady used and it smells like vanilla and lemons.
Like home.
He sighs, and my fingers itch to reach for him. But it’s too soon.
“I’ve also been thinking about the thing with Blake and his brother,” he says.
And just like that, all hope of getting back together disappears. “Yeah?”
“I can’t say I like how you handled it, but like you said, you’re trying to change. You have changed.” He holds my gaze and smiles. “The person Blake described to me wouldn’t have done what you did for Drea. And she wouldn’t come boarding by herself on the busiest day of the season.”
“I’m done worrying what people think. Especially since most of them hate me. At least this way I get to enjoy myself.”
“They don’t all hate you.”
I laugh through my nose and my goggles fog up. “You haven’t been to my school.”
“No, but I am friends with some of them.” I cock my head and he points in the direction of the terrain park. “I talked to Blake. Told him what you said about that day with his brother.”
Terror and nerves and a tiny bit of excitement swirl through me. Xavier talked to Blake for me? “What’d he say?”
“You were right. He really doesn’t like you—”
My elation crashes.
“—but he’s willing to listen.”
“That’s all I want.”
The Edge Rules (The Rules Series Book 3) Page 27