With Love

by Shawnte Borris

  There are certain things—like seeing a couple kissing on the street or others just having fun—that make my heart hit the floor. I’d give anything to hold you right now. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

  Love,

  Sam

  Sam never liked being away from home for too long.

  They keep playing the same music videos all the time. They really should change things up. It can drive a person crazy.

  This is coming from somebody that enjoys listening to Ian Tyson, Johnny Cash, and Charlie Pride, like they are still going strong.

  No matter how late it is I can’t stop thinking about you. Only seven more days, my love.

  Love,

  Sam

  The last letter that I got from Sam was the longest.

  I got your letter today, and it sent tingles down my spine when I opened it. Thanks for all the jokes and notes about the farm. It’s the most entertaining thing I’ve ever read. As I read your letter, I could hear your laugh. I’m glad that the boys are looking after you and I’m glad you enjoyed the night with them. I left them with the most beloved thing I have, you Uncle Hubert and I got into his liquor—with no mix. Needless to say, I got pretty drunk. As the old saying goes,“One more for the road”. After a while, he stopped asking me questions and just, started cheering “beifall, beifall,” and just kept pouring. I told him all about you, and the way you make me feel. He just knotted at me and patted my head because he didn’t know what I was saying. Uncle Hubert does not speak any English. But I think he knows that I am in love. Meine liebe, I love you lots. Oh yeah, lch liebe dich auch viel. Gut nacht, meine liebe.

  Love,

  Sam

  I held the letters more tightly in my hands as my hands were beginning to shake.

  My Dearest Sweetheart,

  I am writing to you with all my heart. There are a few things you should know. Ever since the day I first saw you, you always stood out from the crowd. You were like an angel that came down from Heaven. You seemed different from all the others. You have such a heart warming smile and laugh, one that can cheer up the gloomiest person. Everywhere you walk, the stars dance around you.

  When you are with me, I have a feeling that anything can be accomplished. You are the kind of person that makes the sun shine in the pouring rain. Wherever you walk, flowers bloom. And every time I look at you, your beauty makes me shiver. I think you are the most precious thing that God has ever made. This is how I truly feel. After all this time apart and knowing how I feel, there is only one question a guy like me can ask of a girl like you.

  Will you marry me?

  With Love,

  Sam

  During the summer after eleventh grade, Sam already knew that he loved me enough to marry me. The following summer Sam and I prepared to attend different colleges that were three hours away from one another. Before Sam left for college, we got into a really big fight, and we broke up. I don’t remember what even started it. I guess it was because I felt like Sam was leaving me. I never truly felt like I deserved a love like Sam’s. I tried many times to push him away—why he kept coming back was something that I never understood.

  Things just don’t matter… because I am absolutely and unconditionally in love with you.

  Sam always felt that way. Every time we made love it was like the first time—so soft, so passionate and always so full of love.

  Those two years of college went by quickly. Well, looking back it feels that way.

  I wish I could be with you every step of the day. What keeps me going, is knowing that eventually that day will come.

  Love Forever

  Sam xo

  As I finished reading the last letter from Sam, I closed the envelope slowly and returned the letters to the bottom of my bag. I read them…all of them…I read them without losing it. I grabbed another cup of coffee and headed back to the hotel.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  On the way back to the hotel in the late afternoon, I decided that I was not going to eat alone again in my hotel room. I hopped in the shower and shaved my legs since they really haven’t seen a razor in three weeks. They felt so silky and smooth when I finished. I tipped my head forward and blow-dried my hair, so it was soft and fluffy—just the way Sam liked it. I placed a light dust of makeup on, threw on a pair of blue jeans and a dress shirt, and headed downstairs to the hotel restaurant.

  When I was waiting to be seated, the whole idea became absurd to me. What was I thinking?! I wasn’t ready to say, “Party for one,” yet. Just as I was about to turn around to go back to my room, someone said “Hi, Alyson.” When I looked up, it was the lady from the front desk.

  “Are you joining us in the restaurant this evening?”

  “Umm…actually, I was just going back up to my room.”

  “Would you be willing to join me for dinner? I’m off work now. I would like to change into my jeans though.”

  “I wouldn’t want to interrupt your evening,” I said with my head slightly lowered, looking at the ground.

  “I was going to have dinner here anyway before heading home. Please join me,” she said while softly placing her hand on mine.

  I looked around, and then smiled. “That would be nice.”

  “I’ll show you to our seats, and then I’ll go change quickly.” When we reached our table she smiled. “Our waitress will be right with you.”

  As I waited, I fidgeted with my napkin on my lap, keeping my eyes on the table the whole time. I could just imagine how many people were looking at me—the table for one. It didn’t take the front desk lady very long to change. I was so relieved. I looked up when she was taking a seat, I smiled and said, “Thanks for asking me to join you.” She smiled back then formally introduced herself as Meg.

  We had a light conversation at dinner. She told me how her father and mother owned the establishment and how she pretty much grew up in the hotel. Meg had the funniest stories about the staff and the things she got away with as a teenager. We talked mostly about the weather. I told her about the beautiful park I went to a few days earlier and how much it reminded me of the parks we have back home.

  Meg talked about shopping at a little boutique just around the corner and suggested that I should go check it out. “It’s kinda hidden, so it is a peaceful, quiet environment to shop in.”

  I told her thanks and that maybe I will. She also asked how much longer I was staying. For some strange reason, I told her just a few more days. Honestly, it came out before I even really thought about it.

  As we finished up dessert, I couldn’t help think, Thank you so much for not asking me a lot of questions. It was nice not to see pity in her eyes. As I went to grab the bill—the least I could for her for not asking and prying answers out of me—she took it from me.

  Meg smiled. “I’ve got this one.”

  ***

  That was something Sam was really good at—grabbing the bill before it even had a chance to touch the table. Some days I wondered if he had magical powers. I remembered one time when he and I both paid for the bill. On the way home, we discovered that the waitress ended up with a pretty big tip. Man, did Sam ever laugh— I didn’t think it was funny at all, considering how she flirted with him all night.

  ***

  I thanked her again and then went up to my room. As I went inside, it felt more comfortable. I didn’t feel so alone.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The next morning I woke up to discover the sun was nowhere to be found. I could hear little raindrops hitting against the window. It was so peaceful, watching the water droplets hit against the sand.

  After getting dressed, I went downstairs to grab some breakfast. When I was getting a cup of coffee and the newspaper, I noticed a younger woman crying about the weather to her girlfriends. It didn’t take me long to realize that today was her wedding day.

  ***

  When Sam and I got married, it was a cold November day. I hardly slept the night before because I was reminiscing about my childho
od.

  My mom said how blessed I was to have someone that loved me as much as Sam did. “When he looks at you, Ally, you are his whole world. That kind of love comes once in a lifetime. Protect that with all your heart.”

  I never really understood what she meant until that frightful afternoon. One could say that I took advantage of Sam’s love. I thought that he’d be here with me forever.

  ***

  After breakfast, the sun began to peek through the clouds. When I stepped outside, it was a gloriously warm. I walked down the street to check out that little boutique that Meg was talking about. She was right; it was peaceful and quiet. They had some really neat things—beautiful sounding wind chimes, outdoor wall art, and some of the most outrageous paintings that I have ever seen. I bought a few pieces.

  After stopping by a few more tiny shops, I strolled around a corner and found a large beauty shop. I entered the shop and asked the receptionist if they had time for a color and haircut. They took me in within a few minutes. The receptionist was so kind; she even took my shopping bags and came back with a cool glass of ice tea.

  When the stylist came, she said, “Hi, I’m Bridget. Today is your lucky day. I usually don’t have any openings on a Saturday for months.”

  “Well, good for me.”

  “So what are we doing today?” Bridget asked.

  “Well, I definitely need a pick-me-up.”

  “Pick-me-ups are my specialty. How about we darken your hair one level and put in some soft caramel and copper highlights. Then, we should give you a frontward bob cut. You have the nicest cheekbones, so you are easily able to pull it off.”

  “Why not? Believe me, I have nothing else to lose.”

  As she got started, I noticed some of the pictures on her mirror. They must be her family, I thought. Then, as I looked over to the counter beside us, I saw that she was in photographs with some celebrities. “WOW!” I said loudly without realizing it. “Now that’s something,” I pointed to the photos.

  “Yes, I meet some interesting people in my line of work,” said Bridget, giggling. “When I first started, the first celebrity that I ever did was Steven Tyler. Boy, did he ever make me nervous. I spilled the color everywhere, and my hands would not quit shaking. He was very nice; he laughed and laughed. When I went to make more color, I had to step outside to take a breath because I was hyperventilating. When I came back, he said, ‘Are we ready?’ I said, ‘Yes, Mr. Tyler, I am!’ He laughed some more and replied, ‘Good!’ He made jokes and told me some funny stories about what some crazy fans did back in the day. He is one of my favorite clients to this day. Sometimes, when he is waiting for his color to process, he’ll sing.”

  “Huh, you must have one of the best jobs.”

  “Well, they’re not all like that.”

  ***

  The only celebrity that I have ever come across was Flavor Flav. Sam and I went to Las Vegas for three days. On the way home, while waiting at the airport, I saw Flavor Flav, standing in line in front of me. I couldn’t believe my eyes! And, of course, I couldn’t find my husband or the camera. He was outside taking a cigar break. When Sam finally came inside, I was trying to wave him over quietly. It felt like forever before he reached me because he was walking so slowly. When Sam was finally next to me, he whispered in my ear, “Who is the loud guy in front of us?”

  “Flavor Flav,” I said excitedly.

  “Like Flavor Flav with the clock from TV?”

  “Yes!”

  “Well…”

  After we were done checking in at the counter with the lady from the airline, we ended up behind him on the escalator. Flavor Flav looked at us and said, “What’s up? How ya’ll doing?”

  “Great,” said Sam, pinching my butt.

  I remembered looking at Flavor Flav, thinking to myself, Whatever you do, don’t pick New York. That bitch is crazy, even if she makes us laugh.

  ***

  After Bridget was done washing my hair, she brought me back to the mirror to have a look. I really liked it; the highlights were just enough. She dried my hair just a bit before she began cutting it. As she was finishing, she turned the chair around, so I couldn’t see myself anymore.

  “I want to style your hair before you get a chance to really see it,” Bridget said.

  As she was blow-drying my hair, it felt good to have her fingers massage my head. When she was done, she turned the chair back around. I sat there quietly for a long time. The lady looking back at me in the mirror looked so young and refreshed. I didn’t recognize her.

  “You like it?” Bridget asked.

  “Like it? I love it! I don’t recognize the person in the reflection,” I said with a huge smile.

  “Well, I’m glad. Now what should we do with those eyebrows?”

  “Wax them; make them look girly again.”

  When we were all done, she said, “That will be $400 even, please.”

  “Pardon me?” I questioned with a hard swallow. It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford it. I just had never paid that much before, not for a haircut in my small town.

  “The total is $400, please.”

  “Okay.” As I handed her my credit card, I wondered if that already included a tip, but since I wasn’t about to ask, I gave her a tip anyway.

  I walked back to the hotel, and I couldn’t help but stop when I saw myself reflected in the windows. By the time I reached the hotel, I was sauntering with my head held high.

  When I got back to my room, I changed into a summer dress and put some makeup on. I told myself that for the rest of the day, I would not pity myself. When I was finished getting ready, I did a little twirl in the mirror and asked my family, “Well, how do I look?”

  CHAPTER SIX

  I headed downstairs with my camera in hand and came across the bride that I saw earlier in the breakfast nook. She now had her bridal gown on, and her hair was done. She looked lovely. Her dark hair was pulled back into a light-sweep floral bun with two rhinestone headbands in the front and the veil tucked into the back. Her wedding dress was stunning. It was a white A-line, strapless dress with ruching at the bottom; it was so simple, yet it took my breath way. Her flowers were bright and had a tropical look to them. Her four bridesmaids were all wearing a rich emerald-blue dress. That color looked great on all of them, especially with their blonde and brunette hair all pulled into a side sweep.

  I couldn’t help myself. I just began to snap pictures of them. Some of them were laughing, others drinking, and the remaining hugging. It was nice to sit back and watch. I took a few more pictures when her father entered the lobby. I captured the look in his eye when he first saw her. I was instantly taken back by his love for her; she was definitely daddy’s little princess. He was silently preparing to give his daughter away. I turned around to give them their privacy.

  As I rounded the corner, I bumped into something hard. I looked up and saw a man dressed in a tux with beautiful blue eyes.

  “Are you all right?” he asked as he steadied me while holding my shoulders.

  “Y-yes, thank you.”

  “No problem,” he said with a grin.

  I turned beet red and couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I could feel my breath quicken. I lightly pushed him away, excusing myself.

  “Wait. Where are you going?” he asked.

  “I was just heading outside.”

  “But, I would like a picture with my sister, if you don’t mind. I’m Luke; my sister’s the bride.”

  “Umm…well…umm…I’m not the photographer. I am a photographer, but not a people photographer.”

  “Oh. But, didn’t I just see you take one of my Dad when he came in?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry; I just saw something in his eyes. I’ll delete it if you wish.”

  “No, I would like to see it.”

  “You want to see it?”

  “That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

  “Okay.” I turned around with my back to his chest, so he could see the screen on my came
ra.

  Luke breathed in her scent.

  “These look really good. I haven’t seen him with that look in his eye since my mom died,” Luke said in awe.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” I replied as I turned around to face him. He must have noticed something in my eyes because he ran his hands down my arms.

  He said, “So am I.”

  As I looked at him, I could see in his eyes that we shared the same kind of pain.

  “Would you please take a few pictures of my sisters and me?”

  I shrugged. “If you want.”

  “Yes, I do want. Then, after you’ve edited them, you will be in touch with me.”

  I just stared at him with a puzzled look on my face.

  When I started taking pictures, I felt like I was at home again. I even let myself giggle a few times.

  Their car arrived, and they started heading out. I took a few last shots of them leaving, watching her father guide her to the car. It made me think of Sam and what it would have been like taking our daughter to her future husband—something that was never going to happen. I sighed and turned to leave. I was just about through the other set of doors when a large hand grabbed me. I jumped, totally startled.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Luke said.

  “Well, you did.”

  “Yes, yes, I did.”

  “I just wanted to give you my business card, so you could send me those pictures.”

  I looked at it. Luke McDerment of McDerment Industries. Architectural software. I started to walk again.

  “Wait.”

  I turned slowly. “Yes?”

  “Would you please join me…I mean, us?”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Please?” he asked with his hand out.

  “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m not the photographer. I don’t know you or your family. So it’s really not my place.”

  I turned around and left, walking down the street. What was I thinking? What was I doing? This is just nuts! Oh, but I did enjoy it. I kept strolling down the street with a small grin on my face.