by Paige Watson
“You’re the queen; you are an original. He can’t treat you like this,” Marie added.
“Apparently, he can,” I replied. “I hope you know I would do the same for either of you. Both of you have risked so much on my account and I don’t know if the debt can be repaid, but I will try.”
“It is our job to protect you. We can’t stand by and let him hurt you,” Kit said, brushing my long hair down my back.
“Yes you can. This is about me, no one else.” I stared at my reflection in the mirror as they finished dressing me. “Come and stand in front of me.” At my request both of the women circled around to stand before me. “Something more than duty or obligation binds the five of us together; you may have been made into secundae to protect me, but we’re a family. We must all protect each other.” I kissed each of their foreheads before turning back to the mirror. “Am I ready?” I asked the question with a magnitude of confidence I certainly did not feel.
“Yes,” Kit replied.
I looked in the mirror again. My hair was hanging in loose waves and my gilded crown encircled my head. Long layered necklaces of gold hung over my chest, covering my body. The only thing that felt like it belonged on me was the ruby pendant my hand clung to. I was completely naked except for the strips of metal dangling from my neck and the skirt at my waist. My legs showed through the slits in the sheer material that was almost as white as my fair skin. I was dressed as a prostitute. My body served as the proof to expose me for what I am, and according to my husband, I was a whore. I was to enter Adam’s council meeting and he was to make an example of me. Everyone’s eyes were to look upon the naked body of his queen, while he defiled me with his words. He wanted to demonstrate his power over me and if I didn’t go through with it, he would kill the man I loved. He wanted me to understand one thing; I was his property, from the moment I came into this world, until the moment Adam decided I could leave it.
Marie and Kit followed me to the hall. They draped my cloak around me in an attempt to prevent my body from being seen. I appreciated their efforts, but it made no difference to me; I would do anything to keep Adam from hurting Conrad. I would gladly walk naked through the streets of the city if it meant I might keep him safe.
“I’ll be fine,” I assured the two of them as they removed the cloak from my body. I stood in front of the oak double doors that led into the meeting hall. Their hands grasped each of the brass handles on the door, throwing them open. I could hear Adam’s voice announcing my arrival. I took in a deep breath and crossed through the threshold, into the hall.
“For anyone who dares to think of betraying me or stealing what is rightfully mine, they should remember I will inflict twice as much pain as they sought to bestow upon me.” His voice bellowed around the room, bouncing off the high archways overhead. It was a warning for what was to come. The men of his council were all seated at a long mahogany table with Adam at its center. His black hair hung in curls around his face, and his eyes were such a deep brown the iris almost blended in with his pupils. The dark color of his hair and eyes were such a stark contrast from his pale skin. He had the same fair complexion I did, but where my cheeks were rosy; his were washed out. Despite his gaunt appearance, it was easy to see that at one point in time, he had been quite handsome. Donovan was seated to his left, wearing a sneer that curdled my skin. The scar that trailed from the end of his nose to his chin looked painful, even though it had been healed for years. I knew how sharp a knife had to be to make a cut like that, and the thought set my teeth on edge. I raised my head above the level of their eyes and my hands clutched the fabric of my skirt as I walked before them. “Esteemed members of my council, it has come to my attention that some of you have sought after the pleasures of my unfaithful wife’s flesh.” The hatred in his eyes burned like a roaring flame. I turned my gaze to meet his, refusing to break my stare first. At the very least, I wanted him to know he didn’t frighten me. “Bourdet,” he growled. “Is what I say not the truth?” My eyes followed Adam’s, as he focused his sights on Conrad. Conrad was seated in the last chair on the right side of the table. He looked as if he was going to be sick. However, the shock of what Adam said did not last. Within an instant, Conrad’s expression changed, now he looked infuriated.
“The only truth in your claim, is that I love a woman who is no longer in love with you.” His bright sapphire eyes locked onto mine. There were so many things I wanted to say in that moment. I tried to force them into the look I returned, but how could I ever atone for what was happening right now? Rage seethed from Adam’s skin, as his hands turned white from gripping the edges of the table with such force.
“I think it’s a sin for us to bicker like this, when faced with such beauty,” he hissed. His voice was subtly smooth, all of the previous rage fading from it. The tone sent chills down my spine, I could handle his rage, but this air of calm deception sickened me. His eyes were on me, surveying my naked body beneath the adornments I wore. “My love, if you would be so kind as to show us what you have to offer.” I said nothing, but instead held my arms out with my elbows tucked toward my waist. It looked as if I were poised to carry a gift on either hand, bringing my offering to the beast that lay in front of me. Every set of eyes in the room stared at me. I walked to the side of the table opposite of Conrad. The chains around my neck shifted as I walked, revealing bits of my flesh to their lustful eyes. Only one set of eyes had my permission to gaze at my body, and those were the blue ones at the opposite side of the table. “It’s not hard to guess the nature of the thoughts in everyone’s mind right now, but I ask you all to remember one thing; she belongs to me. I am her king, I rule over her body, taking it for myself as I so choose.” I walked past each man, staring them in the eye with an iron resiliency. They could look at me, have my body be food for their insatiable thoughts, but they wouldn’t break my spirit. “My lips plant themselves on the smooth surface of her skin. She is but a slave to my desires.” As I walked past Donovan a shudder escaped my body. He licked his lips as he looked at me, breaking into a greedy smile. “And as for you Bourdet, your eyes will be cut from your skull so your gaze may no longer fall upon her. Your tongue will be torn from your mouth so that it may no longer know her kiss, and your hands will be removed, preventing you from being able to touch her again.” His words were dripping with cruelty and satisfaction. As I walked in front of Adam he lunged, seizing my arm. Conrad immediately stood, knocking his chair backwards. He was ready for a fight; his hand clutching the sword at his belt. “There is
one more thing I want you to take from this,” he said glaring at Conrad. “When you lie in bed at night without your eyes, hands, or tongue; I want you to remember that I am the one sharing her bed. My eyes will guide my hands and mouth over her body as I take what is mine.”
I couldn’t take it anymore, his joy at all the pain he was causing infuriated me. I would no longer stand by and let him wound us with speech. All he had were words and that seemed like nothing in comparison to what I was about to do. I ripped my arm from his grasp.
“I am not some object you can defile whenever you feel like it! You are not my husband. You, are a monster and the sight of you sickens me. Conrad made me happier in one year than you’ve made me in hundreds. The affection I used to have for you is dead; I do not love you anymore.” My voice carried throughout the entire room, stunning everyone into silence. “And I will do as I damn well please.” I strode away from Adam and made my way to Conrad. He turned to face me as I approached him. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled his body to mine. Our lips locked with a desire that seemed to radiate over us, sending shockwaves throughout the room. His hands rubbed down the bare skin of my back, causing me to gasp with excitement. We were in another place, miles away from this room and the people that wanted to tear us apart. I wanted time to stop so that I could live forever in his touch, but a time comes when everything must end.
“That is enough!” I felt Adam’s hand claw at my arm, separating me from Con
rad. Donovan was dragging Conrad away from me, hauling him to the door.
I tried to lunge for him but Adam’s hands held me back. “Conrad!” He scrambled to return to my side, but Donovan and another man pulled him away. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me.” He tried to speak, but Donovan hit him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious.
I felt Adam’s hands push me away from him. His hand flew through the air, making contact with my face. The blow stunned me and I collapsed to my knees. “Because of you, his neck will meet with the executioner’s axe tomorrow night. He will die for his actions,” he screamed. “But you will live. I want you to live so that every day you wake up knowing you are the reason Conrad is dead, and that you will never set your eyes upon his face again.” He stormed out of the room with the rest of his council in tow. I was left in ball of tears on the floor. I was alone in the grand hall, unable to move or speak. I heard footsteps running to me, clattering against the floor.
“Your Grace,” Kit said, lifting my head from the floor. “What happened?” Her eyes surveyed my face, taking in the tearstains that streaked it. Marie was on the other side of me, throwing a cloak over my body.
“They took him. They took him and they’re going to kill him tomorrow night.” A look of horror spread over their faces. They raised me from the floor and led me back to my bedroom. I listened as they poured hot water into the metal tub. The sound of the gushing liquid, as it met with the bronze, deafened my ears. Then they guided me into the water and washed me as I cried. “Would you help me?” I sucked in a ragged breath as the tears continued to trickle from my eyelids. They both took turns looking at me.
“Help you do what?” Marie’s voice was soft, almost like a whisper.
“Help Conrad and me to escape, help us to run away together.”
“Tell us what you want us to do,” Kit said, taking my hand in hers.
We devised a plan that would allow Conrad to escape that night. As they dressed me we sent Guy and Michelangelo to discover where Conrad was being held. Once they discovered his location, we enlisted the help of the priest and he was to pose as Conrad, allowing the two of us time to flee. It was a good plan, and I felt myself breathe a sigh of relief. They tied the laces at the back of my white dress and pinned back part of my hair, fastening it from my face with gold pins. The soft curls tumbled down my back. I could almost pass for a bride, which was fitting since I was about to start a new life with the man I loved. My ruby necklace was the only piece of jewelry I wore. I took off my wedding band and threw it into the roaring fire. Kit finished fastening the back of my white gown as Marie packed a trunk with some of my clothes and possessions.
“When will he be here?” The anxiety in my voice was overwhelming.
“Soon,” Marie answered. “Guy and Michelangelo took the priest downstairs to see him.”
“And the horses are still waiting for us?”
“Yes. They’re still waiting in the orchard.” She closed the lid of my trunk and fastened it shut. “The four of us will meet up with you two later. You still need to be protected.”
I nodded my head, unable to form words. My heart was drumming inside my chest; I longed to touch him and see he had not been hurt. The guilt over what I had done earlier tore at my insides. I was guilty of bringing pain to so many people. I called Kit and Marie to my side.
“I wanted to thank both of you for everything you’ve done for me, for everything you have sacrificed for me.” One at a time, I took each of their hands and pressed them to my lips. “I can never repay you for the kindness you have bestowed upon me, but know I love you with all my heart.”
A knock at the door drew my gaze from their faces. The heavy door creaked as it opened and with a surge of relief I saw Michelangelo and Guy enter with Conrad. I ran to Conrad and took him in my arms. I smiled, realizing I would get to hold him again. The others left quietly, allowing us some time alone.
“I’m so sorry,” I cried into his chest. “I was a fool earlier and I pray you can forgive me.”
“You’ve done nothing for which you should apologize,” he said, stroking my hair.
“My actions have condemned you to death.”
“Everyone dies,” he said, kissing my cheek.
“Not always,” I replied. “I have arranged for two horses to be left for us in the orchard. They are waiting to take us away from here. We must leave soon though; that way we can have a good start on our journey before they come for you tomorrow night.” I took his hand and started for the door, but his grasp held me back.
“No,” he said with finality. “We can’t run away.”
“He will kill you tomorrow if we don’t leave. It is the only way we can be together.”
“He would hunt us like animals. He wouldn’t rest until he killed us both. I won’t let him hurt you.” His hand circled my chin and he connected our lips. “I don’t care if he kills me, but I could never go through with anything that would cause hurt to you.”
“Don’t you think that is how I feel about you? I don’t want to live without you.”
“But you must. I won’t leave with you. I’m sorry but I won’t give him a chance to hurt you.” At his words, I backed away from his touch.
“If you die, then I die too.”
“No, you can’t think like that,” he said, grasping my arms. “You need to stay alive and defend your people. I know you are aware of the trials he conducts in the dungeons. He uses metal and fire to coerce confessions of guilt from the prisoners. He tortures them, sometimes until they die. It won’t be long until he starts torturing people who aren’t prisoners, and he will make the men on his council participate.” I shook my head no. I couldn’t stand to live a life without him. “You have to live; only you can protect the people. Where he is cruel, you are kind and your kindness gives hope to those around you.”
“How am I supposed to continue living without you?”
“You have to. My mother and Cecily need you to look after them. I can’t protect them, but you can.” He stood at my side and held me in a tender embrace. “If you love me, you will do this for me.”
I stared into his eyes that shined like shimmering oceans. “You won’t leave with me, will you?”
“No,” he responded. “I won’t allow you to die because of me.” I clung to his body, hoping I would never have to release him. “You are more important than me. As the other primum, you are the only one that can stop him.” There was nothing I could say that would change his mind, and his determination could not be broken. A sudden yearning to discover his body ran through me. I stood and walked over to the flames that glittered in the fireplace.
“If you won’t run away with me, then there is another request I want to make of you.”
“And what is that My Lady?”
“I want you to know me in the way any husband knows a wife. I may have been given to him, but I choose to be with you. You are the man I love.” My hands reached behind me, pulling at the back of my dress. I walked over to him, our bodies separated by inches of empty space. “I want you to take me as your wife,” I said, dropping my gown to the floor. This time there were no gold chains or fabric to camouflage the rest of my body from his view.
“You would have me as your husband?” He took another step toward me and I could feel the yearning emanating from his body.
“In my heart, you are my husband,” I answered. No sooner had the words left my lips then I felt his hands on me, rubbing parts of my body they hadn’t before. I quivered beneath his touch, longing to
feel him all over me. I eased his shirt off before tossing it to the ground. My fingertips danced along the smooth surface of his skin, leading the way for my mouth. His lips brushed against the skin of my neck as my hands worked on removing his belt. We stumbled backward, heading for the bed. I opened my mouth to his, as his lips pressed against mine with such fervor that it took my breath away. He lifted me onto the bed and I watched as he removed his pants and boots. Then I pulled hi
m on top of me, tasting his mouth as I kissed him. I felt like I was on fire and every time he touched me it sent waves of bliss throughout my body. A moan escaped my lips as his mouth trailed down my chest to my stomach; his hands rubbing my thighs as he kissed my skin. My hands grasped the covers as I felt him unite our bodies, curving my body upward to him as my head fell back in ecstasy. His breath grew ragged as he moved our bodies together. My arms were around his neck hugging him to me and my lips connected with his. His hunger for me seemed to intensify as he guided my hips back and forth with his hands. The feel of him was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. We were lost in each other, completely unaware that a world outside of the bedroom still existed. Then he accelerated our pace, causing me to cry out in response. He awakened something within me and it released a rush of pleasure over me.
When we had been drained of our energy, we collapsed to the bed and buried ourselves under the thick blankets. He held me in his arms and my fingertips skimmed along the surface of his cheek.
“Thank you,” I said softly.
“For what?”
“For giving me this and for loving me in a way I’ve never known before.” He smiled at me, lightly touching his lips to my forehead. “I only wish we had more time.” I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and I tried desperately to push them away.
“Don’t cry,” he said as he kissed my face. “Don’t feel sad for me. You are everything I ever thought I could want and I would rather spend my last night with you than live for an eternity never knowing your touch.” His hands were around my waist, pulling me on top of him. “Before I went on the hunt and you told me how you felt about me, I would have gladly lain down my life just for one kiss from your lips. I never imagined I would know you like this.” I lowered my head to touch our lips together…
I woke with a start, trying to catch my breath. I sat up so suddenly I almost fell out of bed. I looked at Conrad and saw he was sleeping right next to me. The thought of our bodies moving and panting together made me blush. I still felt the sting of the tears in my eyes as I remembered the last night we spent together before he died. I shook his body, rousing him from his sleep.