What Really Happened
Page 7
Josh and Sam were very excited to learn that rapper Flavor Flav was on our flight. (He wasn’t hard to miss given that he was wearing his trademark clock around his neck.) They wanted to get pictures but seemed a bit starstruck. I had no reaction to Flav so I went up to him and told him that Senator John Edwards was on the flight. “You know, the guy who ran for vice president?” Suddenly Flavor Flav got excited, and soon cameras were flashing everywhere.
After what felt like several hours sitting on the ground, our pilot finally informed us that we all needed to get off the plane, go through customs again, and get on another plane. We realized we were probably going to miss our connection in Brussels to get to Africa, but because the senator’s schedule was booked for months, it was decided that we would just fly to Brussels anyway and figure it out from there.
When we finally landed in Belgium, we were met at the gate by some super nice airline folks who were very eager to help. (Traveling with Senator John Edwards was usually a big plus because airline people treated us like real human beings.) We had definitely missed our connection. The next plane to Uganda was a couple of days later, so our best bet was to claim our bags and recheck them with another airline. We headed to London to pick up a connecting flight to another spot in Africa, where we could catch a bush plane to Uganda. While waiting in the bag check line, Johnny managed to express to me how much it meant to him that I was there, how happy he was being with me, and how I made him feel so happy—no small feat to say all that without all our traveling companions hearing a thing.
We flew to London where we had to go through the most intense security I had ever been through. Senator or not, they did not care—he, too, may be packing bombs—and searched through every single bag. Once we made it through security, we hung out in a VIP room where the IRC men briefed us on the crisis going on in Uganda and the details of the Lord’s Resistance Army, the army of children who had been kidnapped and forced to fight.
At one point I left the VIP room to use the bathroom and ran into Johnny in the hallway, just as he was coming out of the men’s room. He proceeded to plant a huge kiss on me. We were deliriously tired, out of our element, and full of fire, which I obviously liked. But my response was, “Stop! Are you crazy? Someone will see us!”
We finally got on an African airline and were seated in first class. Team Edwards was outrageously comfy. We were all in the front row—Johnny was at the window, I was next to him on the aisle, and then the guys. As usual, Josh was unable to hide the fact that he was less than thrilled that I was next to Johnny. Everyone except me took a sleeping pill. Big mistake. Johnny and I stayed up way beyond everyone else, and he was out-of-his-mind sleep-deprived funny and adorable.
(It is a trait our daughter has inherited. I call it her “running-for-president” phase. Normally she is very shy but when she gets tired, she gets more energized, becomes hilarious, very open, and will talk to everyone. I recently said to Johnny, “She needs to go to sleep, she is running for president.” Without missing a beat, he replied, “I hope she does a better job than I did.”)
We finally made it to Africa and again had to wait (probably only a few hours, but I had lost all sense of time) to board a smaller plane to get to Uganda. In that airport, we ran into Anderson Cooper, who was on his way to the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Anderson only had eyes for Johnny. He was clearly starstruck, which really tickled Sam and me.
On our last leg to Uganda, the pilot came on the sound system and told us that he didn’t think we could land due to bad weather. I can’t remember what the problem was but I do recall that our group was about to turn very religious, having decided that God did not want us to get to Uganda. It was beyond comical, given we were in hour forty-six of travel time. Fortunately the weather quickly cleared and we finally landed in Uganda.
We were greeted by a nasty woman who was barking orders at everyone (except Johnny, of course). We had missed staying the night in our first hotel because we were still flying but we stopped at that hotel to take a shower before we boarded a puddle-jumper bound for our camp. The woman barking orders informed Sam and me that we were on a different puddle-jumper than the senator. Yeah, that makes sense: spend thousands of dollars on getting cameras to follow you in Africa and then put the cameras on a different plane. I couldn’t believe it. After some rearrangements, at least one camera always ended up with Johnny.
After our little day trip, we drove to the hotel in Kampala, which would be our home base for the remaining two nights in Africa. What struck me the most about our time in Africa was how spoiled we are in America and how much we take for granted every day, like fresh water whenever we want. What also stood out were the kids in the camps and the eye contact they would make with us. I fell in love with the curiosity and the openness of the children. They didn’t have any computers or TVs, no Game Boys, no iPhone, iPads, or iPods—just total openness to other humans. They were very different from most American children.
In our hotel, Johnny’s room was directly opposite mine, and shockingly enough, I overheard Josh complaining about it. Josh was down the hall near Sam. For some reason, Josh was being really mean to Sam and all buddy-buddy with Derek. Sam was not happy about this and ended up being late for one of our excursions, which was way out of character for him. Josh was very snippy with me, but that was nothing new. Derek was also having his own meltdown. He felt that the IRC people were actually doing something that mattered—making a big difference in the world—while he was in Washington “thinking about things.”
Oh, it was just a sleep-deprived, life-altering experience for all involved.
After I was already in his room one night, Johnny thought it would be a good idea for me to go get my camera so we could create our own little “private” video. I did and oh have I paid dearly for that adventurous, sleep-deprived run across the hall. We made a short tape and then I put the camera down. Regardless of how sleep deprived I was during this less-than-brilliant escapade, and despite what was reported to the media by some people, one thing I know for sure: I was not pregnant when this happened nor did I look like it from any angle.
During our last excursion to a camp, a woman who couldn’t have been more than twenty years old followed me through the camp with her baby. I gathered, as she kept trying to hand me her baby girl, that she wanted me to take her baby out of the camp and give her a better life. This really upset me. She followed me the entire time we walked through the camp. I guided them to Johnny, who held the baby right before he was getting in the car to leave. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen, but nothing extraordinary transpired for this little child. The entire event really broke my heart.
The African music that these kids played in the camp also moved me. There was a young guy I nicknamed “Uganda’s Bob Marley.” He was very talented yet stuck in the camp; I wanted to help him somehow.
After our weekend visit was over, we were once again on the way to the airport. It was after dinner and dark outside. I was in the backseat with Josh; Johnny sat in the front. I asked Johnny a question about something and he answered by calling me “Baby.” In my sleep-deprived state I didn’t think I heard him correctly, so I kept asking myself over and over, “Did he just call me ‘Baby?’” When we got out of the car (and away from Josh), I asked Johnny, “Did you call me ‘Baby?’” And he said, “Yes, I sure did.”
Fabulous.
There was plenty of room in the plane’s cabin, so I moved from my assigned seat that was multiple rows behind Johnny to one directly across the aisle from him. Johnny was pleased about that. You could feel Josh’s displeasure emanating from his aisle. Johnny clearly didn’t care what Josh thought. We arrived in Brussels without a hitch and with more than a few hours to wait for our connection back to JFK. Because it was the next morning, and we still had a very long flight ahead of us, Johnny showed me a place where I could take a shower, which I did, after he did.
This Africa trip pretty much sealed Josh’s fate. Forget that Johnny and I were in love, which was probably lost on Josh, but between the staffer (the one the boss is not having sex with) and the filmmaker (the one the boss is having sex with), did Josh really think that he would be the chosen one?
Josh took matters into his own hands and alerted the powers that be at the PAC about the “Rielle” problem. The kid took matters into his own hands because he thought he knew better. It’s so amazing to me that this happens in politics over and over again. These young people who worked for Johnny, who presumably believe he has the judgment to become president of the United States, simultaneously believed they knew better about what he should say, how he should dress, how he should behave, and what stand he should take on a given issue. They advised him on everything; they didn’t serve his intentions—they wanted him to serve theirs.
I believe that Johnny wanted to send a message to his PAC. He did not want to be their puppet any longer. He was in charge, which he claimed at the time stemmed from his days as Kerry’s running mate, but as you can probably guess by now, I think goes back even further. So Johnny took Josh aside in the airport before they were about to board a plane to China and fired him. Johnny told me that Josh had cried.
I later read in Game Change that Johnny and Josh had a screaming match and (according to Josh), Johnny said, “Why didn’t you just come to me like a fucking man and tell me to stop fucking her?” This is hilarious to me. I wasn’t in the room so I don’t know for certain what was said, but I seriously doubt this happened. The truth is that in 2006, for better or for worse, the John Edwards that I knew would have never confessed or confirmed our relationship to anyone, especially a twenty-something kid he was in the process of firing.
So Josh was axed, and it was clear within the PAC that most people knew why and a message was sent and received. I’m not entirely sure, however, that the message that Johnny intended was the one that was, in fact, received.
It was clear but, of course, never stated directly to me that the PAC now wanted to keep me away from Johnny. I remember being in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, for two days visiting Johnny during his downtime, per his invitation. I was staying at the Marriott (he could visit) and checking my email from the lobby. There was an email from Nick Baldick stating something to the effect that everyone agreed that I was to stay home and edit and not go on the next Edwards trip, which I think was in Iowa.
In October, I also flew down to Asheville, North Carolina, by myself. I actually went there not just to see Johnny but to get an interview with him to tie the Uganda webisode together.
Elizabeth was speaking at a luncheon sponsored by Ladies’ Home Journal. And, ironically enough, in response to a question asked by Lisa DePaulo (who would interview me years later), Elizabeth claimed that her choices in life had made her happier than Hillary Clinton, that she was more joyful.
Elizabeth called Johnny in a tirade about it. She somehow blamed what she said on Kim Rubey and on Ladies’ Home Journal, insisting that the magazine had misquoted her and it was Kim’s fault that it had done so. The phone call to Johnny was about whether or not he thought she should she apologize to Hillary.
Nobody I know who heard about this incident believed it was Kim’s or Ladies’ Home Journal’s misstep. The consensus was that the incident was more likely to be the real Elizabeth shining through. Johnny’s sister Kathy later told me that for years Elizabeth would often call her to gloat about her wonderful life. The manner in which she did this often left Kathy in tears.
No matter what the intentions behind the comment were, I actually felt badly for Elizabeth. The ego frequently has a way of turning the joke right back on us. And the big problem with denial is that your false joy, your “ignorance is bliss,” will not last. The day will come when it will end. It’s inevitable. And the more you fight it, the more pain you create for yourself.
And unfortunately for Elizabeth, that day came sooner than she wanted.
EIGHT
The End of the Year
“If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world doesn’t fall apart.”
—Oprah Winfrey
In the middle of November I went down to DC to stay with Johnny for two nights. He was doing an event at Borders, which I did not go to but remember noticing afterward that he had worn the first shirt I’d purchased for him to the event; it made me happy. He had gotten (via John Davis) take-out food for us from the Daily Grill for our dinner, which also made me happy. (John Davis was now in Josh Brumberger’s job, which made me super happy. No more dealing with Josh’s snide comments and passive-aggressive actions.)
That night, as we were eating dinner, a campaign disaster call came in. One of Johnny’s aides had left a message on a Walmart store’s answering machine requesting super-special attention for a PlayStation 3 for Senator Edwards. This was pretty funny (in a horrible way) because Johnny was waging a campaign against Walmart, mostly about how the company was unfair to its workers (my second webisode was about this issue). Johnny spoke to Rob Christensen, a reporter from the News & Observer, while we were having dinner. Johnny told the reporter that the kid had made a mistake; he didn’t know Johnny’s views on Walmart. It was an honest mistake and in the news for a day.
Elizabeth was not about to let this one go, however. She believed that Andrew Young was behind it all, that he had told the campaign volunteer exactly what to say to Walmart and then convinced the kid to claim he had made the call all on his own. It was added fuel for her fire of hatred for Andrew.
Johnny told me that, before he and I met, Elizabeth repeatedly said that she believed Andrew was a thief and liar. She believed he spent a lot of their money on things they never saw. Money and other things went missing when Andrew was around, and now, no matter how innocent Andrew claimed to be about the Walmart fiasco, Elizabeth no longer believed him.
After the Walmart mess she began to harass Andrew with emails and occasional voicemails at all hours of the night. She wanted him gone. Coming from Elizabeth, though, this was a little like crying wolf. It wasn’t unusual behavior for her, so Johnny just chalked it up to more of Elizabeth’s craziness. Johnny would tell her to stop the harassment, even mentioning that eventually word would leak about the way she spoke to people and damage her saintly image. Elizabeth would then turn her wrath on Johnny. He was now defending a thief and a liar and taking Andrew’s side over hers.
Whatever Johnny said to her didn’t do any good. The harassment would just continue. According to Johnny, there was no talking to Elizabeth about something when she had made up her mind, and now she was out for Andrew.
From Johnny’s perspective, Andrew loved him and would move mountains for him, and Johnny is a very loyal person. He wasn’t going to fire Andrew just because Elizabeth had decided he was a liar and thief. Apparently this vitriol toward a staff person was a behavior pattern she had with anyone who got close to Johnny. So he ignored her.
What’s so sad about this was that Elizabeth’s instincts about Andrew were actually not far-fetched. If she had handled it properly, a lot of misery could have been avoided.
Johnny came to New York City in November to do The Daily Show and an event in support of his book Home. Sam Cullman and I rode in the car with him to The Daily Show. I used that footage to make the final webisode. We then went to a bookstore on the Upper West Side for a signing. Johnny was exhausted afterward; book signings drained him like no campaign event ever did.
Later, after our Serafina take-out dinner, watching the footage Sam and I shot in Uganda air on Hannity and Colmes, Johnny signed a bunch of books for me: one for Mimi, her sons Jack and Cole, my young
er sister, Melissa, and one for me. By the time we got to my copy, we were in a too-tired, too-much-wine lovers’ spat. Inside he wrote, “My love—will you marry me?—I love you—your baby.”
He wrote that so I wouldn’t be mad at him any longer. I did not believe it was an actual marriage proposal, nor do I now. He was attempting to make me happy in the moment.
However, because I was madly in love with Johnny, that book became an important memento to me. Sometime over the next few weeks, I shipped that to a dear friend for safekeeping. Years later he shipped it back to me, which, in hindsight, was stupid. I should have had him keep it for the next fifty years because, sure enough, Johnny’s book with that inscription later vanished from my home.
In December, I had a meeting in DC with Johnny and David Ginsburg. This was the first time I had met David, who was the head of public relations for Johnny’s campaign. I was getting a ton of push back about putting the webisodes on the Internet. So we watched the webisodes with David, and then I left. I remember asking John Davis on the way out what train they were taking to New York. Johnny had told me to wait for him (something I did not reveal to John Davis) and get on his train. John Davis gave me some wrong information about their travel plans that didn’t involve a train, so I just hopped on the next train. Later, John Davis called me asking what train I was on. They were an hour behind me on the next Acela and he apologized for giving me wrong info. No worries—I was able to get home and shower before meeting Johnny later at the Regency.
Around this time I also had lunch at Serafina on Sixty-First Street with Lisa Blue, who had taken a real fancy to me, sending me her favorite book to read, offering to fly me to their Christmas party, etc. Fred dropped by for a few minutes and said hello. It was clear to me that Lisa had no idea about the extent of my relationship with Johnny but she did like how Johnny behaved around me. She said more than once that she believed I brought out the best in him. I remember Lisa also saying at this lunch how much she thought I could help Elizabeth who, in her eyes, really, really needed a lot of help. We also talked about Johnny running for president. I was unsure that he would ever announce and said so. Lisa was positive he was going to announce because his ego would not let him sit this one out. I got the sense that his running for president was something she wanted and needed Johnny to do. She would have a strong negative reaction every time I suggested that he might not actually do it.