Selected Essays (Penguin Classics)

by Samuel Johnson

  IT may, indeed, be no less dangerous to claim, on certain occasions, too little than too much. There is something captivating in spirit and intrepidity, to which we often yield, as to a resistless power; nor can he reasonably expect the confidence of others, who too apparently distrusts himself.

  Plutarch, in his Enumeration of the various Occasions on which a Man may, without just Offence, proclaim his own Excellencies, has, I think, omitted the Case of an Author entering the World; unless it may be comprehended under his general Position, that a Man may lawfully praise himself for those Qualities which cannot be known, but from his own Mouth; as when he is among Strangers, and can probably have no Opportunity of an actual Exertion of his Powers. That the Case of an Author is parallel, will scarcely be granted, because he necessarily discovers the Degree of his Merit to the Judges, when he solicits their Suffrages. But it should be remembered, that unless his Judges be prejudiced in his Favour, they will not be persuaded to hear the Cause.

  PLUTARCH, in his enumeration of the various occasions, on which a man may without just offence proclaim his own excellencies, has omitted the case of an author entering the world; unless it may be comprehended under his general position, that a man may lawfully praise himself for those qualities which cannot be known but from his own mouth; as when he is among strangers, and can have no opportunity of an actual exertion of his powers. That the case of an author is parallel will scarcely be granted, because he necessarily discovers the degree of his merit to his judges, when he appears at his trial. But it should be remembered, that unless his judges are inclined to favour him, they will hardly be persuaded to hear the cause.

  In Love, the State which fills the Heart with a Degree of Solicitude next that of an Author, it has been held a Maxim, that Success is more easily obtained by indirect and concealed Approaches; he who too soon professes himself a Lover, raises Obstacles to his own Wishes, and those whom Disappointments have taught Experience, endeavour to conceal their Passion till they believe their Mistress wishes for the Discovery. The same Method, if it were practicable to Writers, would save many Complaints of the Partiality of the World, the Severity of the Age, and the Caprices of Criticism. If a Man could glide imperceptibly into the Favour of the Publick, and only proclaim his Pretensions to literary Honours, when he is sure of not being rejected, he might commence Author with better Hopes, as his Failings might escape Contempt, though he shall never attain Excellence sufficient to excite much regard.

  IN love, the state which fills the heart with a degree of solicitude next that of an author, it has been held a maxim, that success is most easily obtained by indirect and unperceived approaches; he who too soon professes himself a lover, raises obstacles to his own wishes, and those whom disappointments have taught experience, endeavour to conceal their passion till they believe their mistress wishes for the discovery. The same method, if it were practicable to writers, would save many complaints of the severity of the age, and the caprices of criticism. If a man could glide imperceptibly into the favour of the publick, and only proclaim his pretensions to literary honours when he is sure of not being rejected, he might commence author with better hopes, as his failings might escape contempt, though he shall never attain much regard.

  But since the Publick supposes every Man that writes ambitious of Applause; as some Ladies have taught themselves to believe that every Man intends Love, who expresses Civility, the Miscarriage of any new Endeavour in Learning raises an unbounded Contempt, which is indulged by most Minds without scruple, as an honest Triumph over unjust Claims, and exorbitant Expectations. The Artifices of those who put themselves in this hazardous State, have therefore been multiplied in proportion to their Fear as well as their Ambition; and are to be looked upon with more Indulgence, as they result from complicated Passions, and are incited at once by the two great Movers of the human Mind, the Desire of Good, and the Fear of Evil. For who can wonder that, thus allured on one Side, and frighted on the other, some Men should endeavour to gain Favour by bribing the Judge with an Appearance of Respect which they do not feel, to excite Compassion by confessing Weakness of which they are not convinced, or to attract Regard by a Shew of Openness and Magnanimity, by a daring Profession of their own Deserts, and a publick Challenge of Honours and Rewards.

  BUT since the world supposes every man that writes ambitious of applause, as some ladies have taught themselves to believe that every man intends love, who expresses civility, the miscarriage of any endeavour in learning raises an unbounded contempt, indulged by most minds without scruple, as an honest triumph over unjust claims, and exorbitant expectations. The artifices of those who put themselves in this hazardous state, have therefore been multiplied in proportion to their fear as well as their ambition; and are to be looked upon with more indulgence, as they are incited at once by the two great movers of the human mind, the desire of good, and the fear of evil. For who can wonder that, allured on one side, and frightned on the other, some should endeavour to gain favour by bribing the judge with an appearance of respect which they do not feel, to excite compassion by confessing weakness of which they are not convinced, and others to attract regard by a shew of openness and magnanimity, by a daring profession of their own deserts, and a publick challenge of honours and rewards.

  The ostentatious and haughty Display of themselves has been the usual Refuge of diurnal Writers, in vindication of whose Practice it may be said, that what it wants in Prudence is supplied by Sincerity, and who, at least, may plead, that if their Boasts deceive any into the Perusal of their Performances, they defraud them of but little Time.

  THE ostentatious and haughty display of themselves has been the usual refuge of diurnal writers, in vindication of whose practice it may be said, that what it wants in prudence is supplied by sincerity, and who at least may plead, that if their boasts deceive any into the perusal of their performances, they defraud them of but little time.

  — Quid enim? Concurritur — Horæ

  — Quid enim? Concurritur — horæ

  Momento cita Mors venit, aut Victoria læta.

  Momento cita mors venit, aut victoria læta.

  The battle joins, and, in a moment’s flight,

  Death, or a joyful conquest, ends the fight.

  FRANCIS.

  The Question concerning the Merit of the Day is soon decided, and we are not condemned to toil through half a Folio, to be convinced that the Writer has broke his Promise.

  The question concerning the merit of the day is soon decided, and we are not condemned to toil thro’ half a folio, to be convinced that the writer has broke his promise.

  It is one among many Reasons for which I purpose to endeavour the Entertainment of my Countrymen, by a short Essay on Tuesdays and Saturdays, that I hope not much to tire those whom I shall not happen to please; and if I am not commended for the Beauty of my Works, to be at least pardoned for their Brevity. But whether my Expectations are most fixed on Pardon or Praise, I think it not necessary to discover; for, having accurately weighed the Reasons for Arrogance and Submission, I find them so nearly equiponderant, that my Impatience to try the Event of my first Performance will not suffer me to attend any longer the Trepidation of the Balance.

  IT is one among many reasons for which I purpose to endeavour the entertainment of my countrymen by a short essay on Tuesday and Saturday, that I hope not much to tire those whom I shall not happen to please; and if I am not commended for the beauty of my works, to be at least pardoned for their brevity. But whether my expectations are most fixed on pardon or praise, I think it not necessary to discover; for having accurately weighed the reasons for arrogance and submission, I find them so nearly equiponderant, that my impatience to try the event of my first performance will not suffer me to attend any longer the trepidations of the balance.

  There are, indeed, many Conveniences almost peculiar to this Method of Publication, which may naturally flatter the Author, whether he be confident or timorous. The Man to whom the Extent of his Knowledge,
or the Sprightliness of his Imagination, has, in his own Opinion, already secured the Praises of the World, willingly takes that Way of displaying his Abilities, which will soonest give him an Opportunity of hearing the Voice of Fame, and it heightens his Alacrity to think in how many Places he shall hear what he is now writing, read with Ecstasies to morrow. He will often please himself with reflecting, that the Author of a large Treatise must proceed with Anxiety, lest, before the Completion of his Work, the Attention of the Publick may have changed its Object; but that he who is confined to no single Subject, may follow the national Taste through all its Variations, and catch the Aura popularis, the Gale of Favour, from what Point soever it shall blow.

  THERE are, indeed, many conveniences almost peculiar to this method of publication, which may naturally flatter the author, whether he be confident or timorous. The man to whom the extent of his knowledge, or the sprightliness of his imagination, has, in his own opinion, already secured the praises of the world, willingly takes that way of displaying his abilities which will soonest give him an opportunity of hearing the voice of fame; it heightens his alacrity to think in how many places he shall hear what he is now writing, read with ecstasies to morrow. He will often please himself with reflecting, that the author of a large treatise must proceed with anxiety, lest, before the completion of his work, the attention of the publick may have changed its object; but that he who is confined to no single topick, may follow the national taste through all its variations, and catch the Aura popularis, the gale of favour, from what point soever it shall blow.

  Nor is the Prospect less likely to ease the Doubts of the Cautious, and allay the Terrours of the Fearful, for to such the Shortness of every single Paper is a powerful Encouragement. He that questions his Abilities to arrange the dissimilar Parts of an extensive Plan, or fears to be lost in a complicated System, may yet hope to adjust a few Pages without Perplexity; and if, when he turns over the Repositories of his Memory, he finds his Collection too small for a Volume, he may yet have enough to furnish out an Essay. He that is afraid of laying out too much Time upon an Experiment of which he fears the Event, persuades himself that a few Days will shew him what he is to expect from his Learning and his Genius. If he thinks his own Judgment not sufficiently enlightened, he may, by attending the Remarks which every Paper will produce, inform himself of his Mistakes, rectify his Opinions, and extend his Views. If he suspects that he may with too little Premeditation entangle himself in an unweildy Subject, he may quit it without confessing his Ignorance, and pass to other Topicks less dangerous, or more tractable. And if he finds, with all his Industry, and all his Artifices, that he cannot deserve Regard, or cannot attain it, he may let the Design fall at once, and, without Injury to others, or himself, retire to Amusements of greater Pleasure, or to Studies of better Prospect.

  NOR is the prospect less likely to ease the doubts of the cautious, and the terrours of the fearful, for to such the shortness of every single paper is a powerful encouragement. He that questions his abilities to arrange the dissimilar parts of an extensive plan, or fears to be lost in a complicated system, may yet hope to adjust a few pages without perplexity; and if, when he turns over the repositories of his memory, he finds his collection too small for a volume, he may yet have enough to furnish out an essay. He that would fear to lay out too much time upon an experiment of which he knows not the event, persuades himself that a few days will shew him what he is to expect from his learning and his genius. If he thinks his own judgment not sufficiently enlightned, he may, by attending the remarks which every paper will produce, rectify his opinions. If he should with too little premeditation encumber himself by an unweildly subject, he can quit it without confessing his ignorance, and pass to other topicks less dangerous, or more tractable. And if he finds, with all his industry, and all his artifices, that he cannot deserve regard, or cannot attain it, he may let the design fall at once, and, without injury to others or himself, retire to amusements of greater pleasure, or to studies of better prospect.

  Appendix III Bonnell Thornton’s parody of The Rambler

  ΓNΩΘI ΣEAYTON*

  Expatiate free o’er all this Scene of MAN,

  A might Maze, but not without a Plan.

  POPE.

  WHILE capricious CURIOSITY persuades the youth of Great-Britain to relish no scenes but those that are extraneous; while the fashionable practice so extensively prevails of visiting distant countries, and in short of cultivating any thing but what is truly British and domestic; I shall beg leave to look at home, and take a survey of what more properly may be said to be our own; accurately to delineate the topography of the human body, and enumerate it’s respective inhabitants.

  First of all, let us investigate the BRAIN, where the MIND sits sceptered and enthroned, and from this eminent situation, like an absolute monarch, regulates and dispenses her commands over the whole subject system of the body.

  As soon as we emerge from these obscure regions, the first object that exhibits itself to the attentive examiner is ASSURANCE, high-plumed on the smooth and unembarrassed surface of the FOREHEAD. Observe with what an obstinate and immoveable gaze she stares on every thing around her, and how she glories in her brazen bulwark of countenance. Sublime on the ridgy hillocks of the EYE-BROWS is seated VANITY, and near her PRIDE contracts his face into frowns, and fiercely casts down his eye beneath with a disdainful leer.

  As you descend lower, you may observe the FIELDS styled in poetical language, the LAUGHING FIELDS displaying themselves over either JAW. Here every thing wears a brighter and more joyous aspect; here LAUGHTER disports in a thousand wanton wiles, and scatters sleek dimples over the adjacent CHEEKS. — And yet is not this climate always cloudless and serene. ANXIETY is no stranger to these regions; he often bids the salt torrent stream from the swelling eyes, while GRIEF holds out the ready hand to rend the flowing tresses. So close is the neighbourhood between PLEASURE and PAIN!

  In the middle of these plains arises a prominence, which mortals have named the NOSE. JESTS wanton on it’s summit, and TAUNTS in various shapes sport around it’s brow. It must not be forgot, that the top of this hill is sometimes possessed by that savage and implacable fury ANGER.

  Nor far off are the roseate LIPS, where Pallas keeps her nectar, and from which distil the streams of ELOQUENCE and PERSUASION in gentle dews, or pour down in fuller and more vehement tides. But near the interior caverns of the THROAT a magnificent Queen, called LUXURY, holds her high-arched palace. And in this neighbourhood ENVY infects the TEETH with her venomous and corrosive gall.

  After leaving the declivities of the HEAD, and the rugged ridges of the CHIN, we arrive at the vallies of the NECK. Here VIRTUE, the sister of LIBERTY, resides; here she maintains her unshaken inflexibility, in which she is often assisted by STRENGTH who keeps his Herculian fortress on the muscular vigour of the BACK and manly BREAST.

  Let us now march by a narrow path down the descent of the ARMS, and we shall find SLOTH reclined on the bend of the ELBOW, while CONTEMPT stands erect and unabashed on the tip of the FOREFINGER. Nor seldom does AVARICE and the insatiable DESIRE OF GAIN tempt the insidious hand to clandestine deeds of theft.

  We will now cross over that part, where the trepidating LUNGS receive and give back the vital inspiration in alternate heavings, and where the RIBS confine the VISCERA within their concave circle. Here meek CLEMENCY has chosen her station; here she breathes sigh for sigh, and returns sorrow for sorrow. Hail, tenderest inmate of the HEART! in whatsoever BREAST thou art now compassionating human misfortunes, whatsoever BOWELS are now struggling beneath thy influence, – adieu! – we are reluctantly summoned to proceed farther, and as we descend lower, arrive at – but MODESTY turns away her blushing countenance from this detested seat, this habitation of that impure dæmon LUST.

  Not far hence in a desponding condition (and indeed it may be superfluous to remark that the joys of VENUS are ever attended by a dreary train of CARES) REPENTANCE appears, whose business it is to supple
the knees to adoration. Behold him prostrate, as in the monastic cloyster, or the desolate cavern, and mixing a flood of tears with a storm of sighs.

  Our journey is at length almost consummated; and having now passed the perpendicular declivity of the legs, we shall find FLIGHT and SWIFTNESS situated in the FEET. Nor is every one endued with the same degree of swiftness: cast your eyes from Pyrenæan cliffs! Examine the nations of either side! Here you will perceive the slow Spaniard stalking with stiff and stately steps; there the Frenchman practising every art of agility, cutting everlasting capers, and leaping through life. Nay, so eminently does this volatile people excel in dancing and running away, that some philosophers imagine all that strength, which in others is proportionably diffused over the whole body, to be in them concentred in their heels.

  Taken from Isaac Reed, The Repository: A Select Collection of Fugitive Pieces of Wit and Humour, in Prose and Verse. By the Most Eminent Writers. The Second Edition. Four volumes (London, 1790), iii,

  pp. 216–20.

  Notes

  THE RAMBLER

  Johnson began composing The Rambler in March 1750. The first paper was published anonymously on Tuesday, 20 March, and subsequently one appeared each Saturday and Tuesday, until the final paper was published on Saturday, 14 March 1752. Something of the spirit in which Johnson approached his task is captured in the prayer he composed on beginning The Rambler (see Appendix I). The publishers were John Payne, Joseph Bouquet and Edward Cave. They paid Johnson two guineas per paper, and on 1 April 1751 Johnson assigned the copyright to Edward Cave. According to Arthur Murphy, the circulation of The Rambler never rose above five hundred copies. Nevertheless, the papers were soon reprinted in collected editions, and Johnson took advantage of the opportunity represented by these early reprintings to revise his text. Something of the scale and direction of these acts of revision is suggested by the parallel texts of Rambler No. 1 reprinted here in Appendix II. After the fourth collected edition of 1756, however, the incidence of revision subsides. Therefore the fourth edition has furnished the copy-text for this selection.