The Hesitant Hero

by Gilbert, Morris

  In the middle of the morning the silence was suddenly broken by Damien, who shouted, “Look, there comes Antoine!”

  “It is,” Tyler said, “and he’s running like the devil’s after him.” He ran ahead to meet the boy. Antoine’s elbows were flailing, and he was gasping for breath. “What is it, son? What’s wrong?”

  “It’s the Germans. They’re coming. Get off the road!”

  Tyler ran quickly back, grabbing Crazy’s bridle and leading the startled horse off the road, urging him on. “Come on, Jolie,” he shouted, “we’ve got to get out of sight.”

  Fortunately there was a copse of trees with thick underbrush nearby. They had barely managed to get everyone hidden before they heard the sound of the trucks coming. Tyler had a tight hold on the harness, but Jolie moved to the edge of the trees. “I can see them,” she whispered. Yolande held on to Rochelle, who put her arms around her, and they all froze as they waited. The trucks roared by one after another, at least twenty of them.

  They all remained where they were until the sound faded away. Tyler drew a deep breath. “Well, that was a close one.” He turned to Antoine and saw that the boy looked terrified. “Thank you, Antoine. You saved our necks.”

  Jolie joined the two and put her arms around Antoine, hugging him hard. “I’m so proud of you, Antoine. That was a brave thing you did.”

  Damien was jumping up and down and pulling at Antoine. “You came back! I knew you would, and you kept those old Germans from getting us.”

  Rochelle crowded in close too and put her hand on Antoine’s shoulder. “Thank you for coming back and saving us, Antoine.”

  The boy was startled. He had regained his breath, but as they all continued to tell him how grateful they were, he didn’t know what to think.

  “We were all sorry you left feeling upset as you were,” Jolie said, “and it was my fault. The children were right, and Monsieur Winslow and I were both wrong. We’d like very much if you’d go to England with us.”

  Antoine could not speak for a moment. He swallowed hard and muttered, “I guess it’d be all right.”

  “Good,” Tyler said, coming over and slapping Antoine on the back. “You know, I think sometimes God works things out even when we make a mess of them. He makes things happen the way He wants them to happen even when we get in His way.”

  Antoine was looking at him with his head cocked to the side.

  “I’m mighty glad you came back to pull us out of the fire.”

  “Come on, Antoine, you can drive Crazy,” Rochelle said.

  Tyler and Jolie watched as the youngsters all piled into the wagon, talking happily and laughing.

  “I think this was a good thing, Jolie. I guess God pushed us around a bit to get us where He wanted us. Come on. Let’s get on the way. We won’t get to England standing here.”

  This time the two of them walked together as the wagon moved along. Tyler suddenly reached down and took her hand. She looked at him, startled, and said, “What are you doing?”

  “Holding your hand.”

  “Why are you doing that?”

  “I always do that when I walk with a pretty girl. I hold her hand and tell her how pretty she is. It’s an old Winslow tradition.” He grinned slyly and said, “We have a few more traditions about how to treat women. I’ll be letting you in on them from time to time.”

  “I’m afraid you Winslow men are like all other men. Ready to take advantage of a young woman.”

  “We Winslows never take advantage of young women.” He squeezed her hand, then lifted it to his lips and kissed it. “There, another Winslow tradition. Come on. I’ll tell you more about this as we walk along.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Stories of Africa

  All the next day Tyler was edgy. He spoke little but kept scanning the road, watching for another convoy. When they didn’t see any Germans by late afternoon, his nerves started to grow calmer.

  When he and Jolie decided they should stop for the night, he led the group to a grassy area near a tiny creek that trickled through the meadow. He unhitched Crazy from the wagon and tied him to a tree by the stream, even though there was little danger of a horse like Crazy running away.

  The animal munched on the grass while Tyler watched, his thoughts going back, for the first time in several days, to Caroline. He had somehow managed to make a box and put the memory of her in it and keep it tightly closed. Now, however, as the twilight moved across the land, the sun easing down behind some high hills to the west, the memory escaped from the box.

  From far off in the distance came the tinkling of some bells, probably tied to a farmer’s goats or cows, as was often the practice in France. The tinkling made a comforting musical sound. He watched the horse send his long tongue into the stream. “I wish I didn’t have any more worries than you do, old boy, but sooner or later I’m going to have to face the music with Caroline.”

  He had known for some time that there could never be anything between the two of them but didn’t know how to tell her. He had been the one who had accepted her generous offer of paying his expenses in France. Before he left, she had spoken of his return and their future life together. Even though he had never thought they would have a future together, her offer seemed too good to pass up. Now as he sat in the grass, his legs crossed, he wondered why he had let himself get into such a frightful mess.

  I’ll have to write to her as soon as I get to England, or maybe even call her. But he knew what he had to say to her should not be said in a letter or over the phone. It would be hard enough to say it to her face, but he knew it had to be done.

  “The kids are getting hungry. Do you want to eat soon?”

  Tyler turned to see Jolie walking toward him. He did not get up, and as she came over and sat down, he said, “Is there enough food to put a meal together?”

  “We’ve got enough to make some sandwiches. We’ll have to try to find some more food tomorrow.”

  The two of them sat quietly watching the horse crop the tender green grass and listening to the tinkling of the bells in the distance.

  “Those bells make me feel like I’m far from civilization. But I guess you know what it’s like to live in the country. What was it like living in Africa?”

  “Well, it was the only life I knew. Sometimes it wasn’t easy.”

  “Did you live in a town?”

  “We had a mission station, but we moved around a lot to the tribes in the interior. Sometimes we lived right with the natives.”

  “That must have been exciting.”

  “It was pretty hard. When you’re used to living in a progressive country, you have no idea what it’s like to live without the modern conveniences. Out in the African jungle, they don’t have any sewage, of course, and they never take baths. Until you get used to it, the smell is almost overwhelming.”

  “Tell me more.”

  Tyler found himself telling her about his life growing up in a way that he had seldom shared with anyone. I never told Caroline much about my childhood, he thought, but then she never asked.

  “What about wild animals?” Jolie asked. “Wasn’t it dangerous?”

  “Yes, it was.”

  “Which animal were you most afraid of?”

  “Well, the elephant, of course. They’re amazingly quiet for such a huge animal, but there’s no way to defend yourself if you upset one.”

  “Did you ever have a problem with one?”

  “One time I was hunting wildebeest, and I was sitting very quietly waiting to get a shot. Suddenly I had a feeling something was behind me, even though I hadn’t heard a sound. I turned around slowly, and there stood one of the biggest elephants I’d ever seen! He had his ears out, which they do when they’re about to charge. There wasn’t anyplace to hide, and I knew I couldn’t outrun him. I was a dead man.”

  “What happened, Tyler?”

  He grinned. “Why, he killed me.”

  “Oh, you fool!”

  “I don’t really know what
happened. He was twitching and staring at me with his beady little eyes, and then another elephant called from off in the distance. The elephant just turned around and walked away.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I nearly fainted when it all caught up with me. I was so weak I couldn’t even move.”

  “So the elephant’s the most dangerous beast?”

  “I think leopards kill more people than any other animal. They’ll come right into your house at night and take a child away.”

  “How terrible!”

  “One almost got me once.” He went ahead to tell the story, touching the scar on his forehead. “He left me this one big gash. If Dad hadn’t shot him when he did, the animal would have killed me. I still remember it as if it happened yesterday. I guess you never forget a thing like that.”

  “Tell me about your family.”

  “Well, a distant relative of mine, Barney Winslow, is a missionary in Africa. He once killed a lion with his bare hands.”

  “How in the world did he do that?”

  “I think it was a very old lion—maybe sick. Barney got around behind him. The lion clawed him pretty bad, but he got his arm around him and choked him to death. He was a very strong man. The Masai called him the Lion Killer after that.”

  “I can’t imagine being that close to a lion!”

  “I have all kinds of relatives who did crazy things. Barney’s dad, Mark Winslow, was a gunman in the Wild West.”

  “Really? Did he shoot anybody?”

  “I’m sure he did. He had a hand in bringing the first transcontinental railroad across the United States. He became very wealthy.”

  “What a wonderful family you have.”

  “Except for me. I’m the black sheep.”

  She reached over and squeezed his arm. “You’re not that, Tyler. Look at what you’re doing for these children.”

  Tyler was moody and feeling down. “Yes, and I had to be backed into a corner before I would do it. No, I’m not much of a Winslow, Jolie.”

  “I think you are.”

  He put his hand over hers. “Well, that’s nice of you to say. Maybe I’m a work in progress.”

  ****

  Antoine was relaxing in the grass by the stream when Rochelle came by, carrying a bucket. She suddenly let out a scream and dropped the bucket.

  “What is it?” Antoine yelled.

  “A snake—it’s a snake!” she screeched as she jumped back.

  Antoine got up to check it out. He reached down and picked the animal up, letting it squirm in his hand. “It doesn’t have no poison,” he said. “Look, it’s just a grass snake.”

  But Rochelle was trembling all over. She sat down, pulled her knees up to her chin, and buried her face against them.

  Antoine stared at her in disbelief. He stroked the snake and then walked several paces away before putting it in the bushes. He sat down beside Rochelle. “It’s okay. It’s gone now.” When she did not respond, he reached over and put his arm around her. “Don’t be afraid,” Antoine said, squeezing her shoulder. “It wasn’t gonna hurt you.”

  Her only response was sobs.

  He let her cry for a minute and then said, “Look, everybody is afraid of something. My uncle Theo, I thought he was as brave as they come. He was a hero in the last war.”

  Rochelle stopped crying and looked at Antoine.

  “He came back alive, but one hand got shot off in the war. We were out hunting once and a spider got on his other hand, and you know what? He fainted. Passed right out. Yes sir, and it wasn’t even a bad spider, the kind that kills you. Just a tiny wood spider.”

  Rochelle wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “What are you afraid of?”

  “Me? I don’t know.” He suddenly realized his hand was still around her shoulder and he removed it.

  “You said everybody was afraid of something, so that means you’re afraid of something.”

  Antoine hadn’t known Rochelle very long, but he already trusted her enough to tell her something he’d never told anyone else. “Well, there’s one thing I’m afraid of. I’m afraid I’ll never really do anything.”

  “Do anything! What do you mean by that? Everybody does something.”

  “I mean I’m afraid I’ll never do anything important. That I’ll just live and die and that’ll be the end of it.”

  “That’s what everybody does.”

  “No it’s not. Some men make a difference and some women do too. But if I do what I want to do, I’ll make a difference.”

  “I’ll tell you what I want to do if you’ll tell me what you want to do.”

  They made a joke of refusing to tell the other their dreams, but now in the quiet of the evening as they sat close together, he said, “I’ll tell you what. I want to do something that no gypsy I ever heard of has done. I want to be a doctor.”

  Rochelle sat up straighter and stared at him.

  “What’s the matter? Why you lookin’ at me like that for? You wanted to know and I told you. I guess you think it’s impossible for a gypsy to become a doctor.”

  “No I don’t. You can do it if you want to.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t have much education. Just a little bit here and there, along with what my folks and my aunt and uncle taught me. Doctors have to go to school. I never heard of a gypsy that went to college and became a doctor.”

  “I bet you can do it, though.”

  “Well, okay I’ve told you. Now, what do you want to do? Ride a horse bareback in a circus?”

  “No. I want to be a doctor.”

  “You’re makin’ fun of me.”

  “No I’m not. I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, and then when Mademoiselle Vernay came to help us at the orphanage, I asked her tons of questions about it. She says she’ll help me.”

  “Wow! What a coincidence.”

  “I know. I’ve never met anyone else before who’s wanted to become a doctor.”

  “Don’t tell no one, though, Rochelle.”

  “Why not?”

  “They’d make fun of me.”

  “No they wouldn’t, but I won’t tell. I’m sure you can do it, Antoine.”

  “It takes lots of money, and you have to have a good education. I don’t have either one.”

  He saw Jolie approaching, calling, “Rochelle, what are you doing?”

  “I’m sorry,” she answered as she got up and retrieved the bucket. She dipped it into the stream. “I saw a snake and got all flustered and forgot what I was doing.”

  Jolie smiled and walked with the two of them back to the others.

  When they got there, Damien demanded, “Why have you been gone so long?”

  “We’ve just been talking,” Rochelle told him.

  “About what?”

  “About grown-up things,” she said. “You wouldn’t understand.”

  “You ain’t grown-up.”

  “I’m more grown-up than you are.”

  “What’s she been telling you, Antoine?” Damien asked.

  “Oh, nothing important.” He winked at Rochelle, and the two smiled at each other.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Germans!

  “What town is that up ahead? Can you tell from the map, Jolie?”

  Jolie was trying to walk and read the map at the same time. The wind fluttered it, and she stilled it. When it happened again, she stopped and laid the map flat on the ground and knelt down so she could lean over it. The wagon passed them as she traced her finger across the paper.

  “I think that’s Pont-l’Évêque up ahead, although I’ve never been on this road before.”

  “How far is that from Le Havre?” Tyler asked as he looked over her shoulder.

  “It looks like maybe twenty kilometers.”

  Folding the map, Jolie stood up and watched as the wagon lumbered along, Crazy’s multicolored hide catching the glints of the sun. “I think I’d like to go into town and get some more fresh fruit and cheese.”

  “I don’t
want you to run into any more German officers,” Tyler said.

  “I’ll just have to be more careful to avoid them if I can. We’d better hurry. We don’t want the children to get too far ahead of us.”

  The two walked faster until they caught up with the wagon. Damien was driving, Rochelle was sitting on his left holding Marie, and Yolande was on his other side. Antoine was far ahead, his figure looking small in the distance.

  “Antoine takes his duties as a scout seriously,” Tyler remarked.

  “Yes, he does. He’s a good boy. I hope he’ll be able to make something of himself someday.”

  “Well, when he gets with his parents he’ll be all right.” Tyler glanced over at Rochelle and saw her cuddling the baby. “Rochelle’s got a strong mothering instinct. She holds that baby every chance she gets.”

  “I’m afraid it’s going to be quite a jolt for her when they’re separated.”

  Tyler did not argue, for he had already foreseen some problems. He knew the children thought they would be adopted by a single family, but he knew that was highly unlikely. Most families did not want to adopt two orphans, much less three.

  “It’s going to be hard to place those three, Jolie. I suppose it’ll have to be a Jewish family.”

  Jolie had been thinking about that herself, and she trudged silently, contemplating the possibilities. She thought of her friends Jack and Irene Henderson and their big, mostly empty house in New York. How wonderful it would be if the children could end up in a home like theirs. “We’ll just have to trust God, Tyler. We’re doing the best we can.”

  “I don’t think I’d like—”

  “Look,” Damien cried out. He was standing up and pointing. “Antoine is running. I bet he’s seen some Germans.”

  “Quick, get the wagon off the road,” Tyler directed.

  He tried to grab Crazy’s lines, but the horse must have been spooked by all the sudden activity and reared up before surging forward. The jolt threw the children back, Yolande falling over backward with a cry. Tyler struggled to grab the lines, but Crazy seemed determined to run away. Tyler chased after the wagon and soon managed to grab hold of the lines up close to Crazy’s jaw.