After the Pain

by Gia Riley

  I end up having a decent ending to my shift, but the flowers were in the back of my mind the rest of the night. Unfortunately, I’m not any closer to figuring out who sent them by the time I leave the hospital for the night. I’ve gotten a ton of compliments on them, but nobody is claiming to know where they came from.

  I’m not exactly sure where to put them on the drive home where they won’t fall over or spill, so I dump out the water in the parking garage and rest them against the passenger seat. To ease my nerves I jam out to some Halestorm and sing along with the lead singer. Music always makes everything better. I get caught signing at the first red light I come to. The other driver gives me a thumbs up to acknowledge he caught me belting out the lyrics. I’m embarrassed for a moment before I decide to screw it and continue on. It’s not like he caught me picking my nose or anything. Not that I do that in the first place, but I’m just saying. Nose picking is taboo, singing is not.

  When I pull up to my house, I see a shadow on my porch. I’m not expecting any visitors. As I get closer to my front door, I see it’s Colby standing in the shadows. I knew it wouldn’t be good for him to know where I live. I thought I got lucky when he never used my phone number. Apparently he’s an in person kind of guy. That definitely won’t fly with Sean. He gets all kinds of over-protective of me when someone else gets too close. Not in a scary way of course, but just letting me know I’m his.

  “I see you got the flowers. I was hoping they found you.”

  Oh hell.

  “COLBY, WHY WOULD YOU SEND me flowers?” To say I’m shocked Colby would go to all the trouble of sending me flowers would be an understatement. I don’t remember even telling him where I work, but I know I was drunk and probably spewed most of my life history during the three hour conversation we had at the bar. Alcohol has always been a truth serum for me, but maybe assuming Colby was harmless isn’t the alcohol’s fault, but entirely my own. It appears I need to draw up some boundaries between the two of us now that I’m officially with Sean.

  “You missed open-mic night this week. You never miss, at least not since I’ve been going the past few weeks, so I figured you were sick or something. I also wanted to apologize for the drunken fiasco at your house. I was probably out of line with a few things I said. I couldn’t stop thinking about leaving you with that over-bearing jackass.”

  “That over-bearing jackass is my boyfriend, Colby, so please watch what you say about him.”

  “Well at least you admit he has issues.”

  “I did not. Don’t put words in my mouth.” Now he’s starting to piss me off. If he’s not careful I’ll toss the flowers directly at his head.

  “Calm down. I don’t want to argue with you, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I had strep. It was nice of you to think about me, but you really shouldn’t have sent flowers. Things got way out of hand that night at Shorty’s. That’s not how I usually operate.” I pause briefly to calm myself down. I’m entirely too worked up and don’t want to chance saying something I shouldn’t. “Listen, I appreciate your friendship, but I’m with Sean now. Nothing is going to happen between us, Colby. We can still hang out at Shorty’s for open-mic night, but that’s all it’s ever going to be. If your flowers were an attempt at more, I’m sorry.”

  “You say that now, hot shot, but I don’t mind sharing until you realize I’m the better choice. You can’t deny we have a good time together.” He puts his hands in his pockets and shrugs his shoulders like it would be the most natural thing in the world to be with a girl who has a boyfriend. There’s no way I would ever cheat on Sean no matter how charming Colby tries to be. Sure, he’s attractive, but I’m not a fan of this version standing on my doorstep. I prefer the free-spirited guy I had fun with at Shorty’s.

  “Well, unfortunately, I do mind. Thanks for the flowers, but I don’t think you should come here again.” I walk past him to unlock my door. I feel him come up behind me pushing my hair off my shoulder. He whispers in my ear, “don’t count me out just yet. We’re both hot as hell on that stage. Imagine what we could do together, off of it.” He blows lightly on my neck which I don’t like at all. I turn around and push his body away from mine, losing my grip on the glass vase. The flowers drop to the concrete, smashing loudly making me gasp in surprise. “Colby, please go.”

  I watch as he backs away slowly, keeping his eyes on me. It’s only when he crosses the street that I notice his car is parked in front of mine. I have no idea how I’m going to tell Sean about all of this. He’s going to flip the hell out. I also feel kind of dirty with how close Colby got to my body. I’ll clean up the mess after I deposit these damn stems of shit in the trash. Fucking flowers.

  I don’t have long to think about it when I hear Sean come in the house after work. My heart immediately starts to increase its tempo. He walks into the kitchen where I’m busy getting the ingredients ready to make some lemon herb chicken and veggies. I’m using fresh lemon picked from my lemon tree. It’s the little things that make me happy – helping my mood improve from today’s incident.

  “Hey, how was your day?” I don’t stop what I’m doing as I keep my eyes on the herbs I’m chopping up. I cut up way more than I need, just so I can avoid eye contact a little longer. Of course Mr. Psychologist himself reads me like a book.

  “Why is there glass all over the porch?”

  “Oh, I dropped something. I got all the big pieces but I still have to brush up the little ones. I was in a hurry to start dinner. I’m starving.”

  “Hallie.” It’s not a question but rather a statement meant to get my attention. Busted.

  “Yeah, babe. What’s up?” I keep chopping. Some of the pieces are so small they’re turning into a gooey green paste.

  “Please put the knife down and look at me.” Shit. I put the knife down slowly and turn myself around. Leaning on the doorframe, Sean stands up straight, takes four long strides over to me and looks me in the eye. I know how upset he was when Colby brought me home. There’s no way this is going to end without him being mad at me. Nothing about this situation makes Colby look like the innocent friend I swore he was.

  “Sean, I can explain.” Before I get another word out, he puts his index finger up to my lips silencing me. He tips my chin up and brings his mouth down to meet mine. His kiss starts off sweet but becomes intensely aggressive. My lips are going to be sore if he ever decides to stop claiming me. Once he slows down and finishes the same way he began, I’m able to catch my breath.

  “I’m not even going to ask for an explanation. I won’t question you. What we have may be new, but it’s strong enough for me to believe you wouldn’t lie, cheat or hurt me. I trust you’re always going to tell me the truth or I wouldn’t be with you in the first place.” His words are unexpected and one hundred percent sincere. I hear no anger or aggression, only his admiration for me.

  “I didn’t know they came from Colby. That’s why I sent you the text. I would have tossed them at work had I known. They’re actually in the trash anyway. He was here when I got home, but I told him he can’t do this kind of thing anymore. I’m really sorry. I would go ballistic if the roles were reversed, but I only want you. That I can promise.” It really is the truth. Colby is a fun guy, but not someone I would see myself dating. Hopefully we can figure out how to be friends without crossing the line. If not, I’ll have to find another open-mic night to go to. I won’t risk losing Sean over a silly crush Colby thinks he may have on me.

  After I finish explaining the dropped vase, glass and events that took place on the porch, Sean looks like he wants to smash something himself.

  “I don’t like him putting his hands on you, Hallie. Besides everything you just told me, there’s just something about him I feel is off. I can’t put my finger on it though.”

  “He didn’t really touch me. He just blew on me. It was kind of creepy, actually.”

  His head tips back and he inhales and exhales deeply, but as quickly as his emotions flare, they
dissipate. I tell him to go sit and relax while I finish up dinner. Of course he insists on helping me instead. It makes me smile knowing he would rather help me than go watch TV. I keep waiting for him to show some sign of bitterness, but instead, he’s back to joking around with me. This day has been one giant curveball.

  Once we finish eating, we walk outback to sit on my porch swing. I was thrilled to see my house came with such a charming feature. The warm nights are usually spent sitting back here reading and relaxing. That makes me sound like a granny swinging on my porch swatting the flies, but I promise I don’t sit out here and knit or anything. The previous owners also planted a lemon tree on the other side of the porch. The fragrant smell makes me think of making sun tea on my parent’s porch as a kid. It makes living in different towns easier knowing I have a little slice of home here as a reminder.

  I cuddle up with my legs across Sean’s lap as he slowly rocks us back and forth on the swing. Okay, this does make us sound like a couple of old geezers. Thinking over the last few hours, I realize this isn’t at all how I envisioned this night going. Assuming the worst was in store for me, I was prepared to argue my way through a couple apologies before heading to bed for the night. Thankfully, Sean continues to surprise me with his understanding nature. I don’t have a lot of time to reflect until Sean springs some news of his own on me.

  “How would you feel about traveling with me to my conference next weekend? Take a little time away to unwind and relax,” he asks as we continue to rock.

  “I think that sounds like an amazing idea. Where’s the conference?”

  “In Vegas,” he says with a smile.

  “Seriously!”

  “Yes, seriously. It’s the yearly psych convention for hospitals all over the country. There’s some really big names coming that I’m looking forward to meeting. Having you with me would make it perfect. There’s plenty of things for you to do too while I’m at the meetings. You won’t be bored, I promise.”

  “You don’t have to sell me on anything, Sean. I’ve never been to Vegas!” He laughs and leans down to kiss my forehead. I love his little gestures. They give me butterflies every time.

  “The conference is only Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I figured we could stay until Saturday.”

  “I’m in!” I’m so excited I get up and pace around the porch rattling off all the things we can do and see while we’re there. Sean is watching me with his arms crossed over his chest taking in every word that is flying out of my mouth at warp speed. “Sorry, I’ll calm down. What do you want to do?” I know I’m being obnoxious.

  “In all honesty Hallie, I just want to spoil you for a few days and spend time with you. But that reaction alone was worth every penny.”

  “What do you mean was worth?” I ask.

  “Don’t worry about it.” He stands up from the swing. “Let’s go inside so I can have you for dessert.” As tempting as that sounds, I know he’s just trying to distract me from his previous statement. Standing in front of the doorway, I put on my best tough girl front with my hands on my hips, letting him know I’m serious. “Sean, I’m not moving until you tell me what you meant.”

  “That’s okay. You don’t weight much.” He picks me up and chucks me over his shoulder like a rag doll smacking my butt as he practically jogs to my bedroom. There’s no use fighting, he won’t put me down until we get there anyway. I let my arms hang down and grab onto the belt holding his jeans up. I lightly tickle the skin under his t-shirt, waiting for a reaction. “I’m not ticklish, but you should stop that.”

  “Why stop if it doesn’t bother you? Something tells me you’re full of shit.” I keep going, trying to find a spot that sets him off.

  “I warned you, woman.” Before I can attempt anything else, I’m tossed flat on my back in the middle of the bed. Sean straddles me and pins my arms above my head with his left hand. His right hand digs into my side making me squeal. I’m probably the most ticklish person in the world. My Grandpa used to tickle the spot right above my knee and I’d pee my pants every time. If my bladder fails me now, I’ll die of embarrassment. After a solid minute of torture, Sean finally decides to take mercy on me. Once I wipe the tears from my eyes and can speak, I ask, “Will you please tell me what you meant about the trip?”

  “I knew you would make a big deal about this, Hallie.”

  “About what?”

  “I already paid for the trip; your flight, the extra days at the resort, and a day trip. It’s done. All I had to do was get you on board. Since you already said yes, we’re good to go.”

  I sit up and push myself off his body. “There’s no way you’re paying for my flight and we can share the cost of the room. That’s a lot of money, Sean! I can afford to pay my half if you thought I couldn’t.”

  “Babe, I just got my bonus from my promotion. It’s my job to take care of you. I want to use the money for something we can both enjoy together. I have to do some work while we’re there but I want you with me. This trip is what I want. Just say thank you and have your way with me. That’s all I’m asking from you.”

  “That makes me sound like a hooker - sex in exchange for Vegas.”

  “That pretty little head of yours does entirely too much thinking. Now get naked.”

  I really want to go to Vegas and I really want him right now. He wins! “Yes, Sir.” I end up spending the next hour thanking him in every creative way I can think of. Nothing about what we do makes me feel cheap or like a prostitute, just incredibly satisfied and sexy. I really was just busting his chops.

  A week later we’re packed and heading to the airport for Sean’s conference. I’m so excited I can hardly stand myself. I may have left out a tiny detail while we were preparing for this trip. Flying makes me freak out. I’m not talking about a typical case of nerves. Nope. It’s to the point of a full blown panic attack. There’s something about being stuck inside a tube a couple miles above the ground that doesn’t sit well with me. My stomach’s already churning. I keep reminding myself that I’m with Sean and how everything will be okay. Unfortunately, my personal pep talk doesn’t help at all. I haven’t even said much to Sean since we got into the car, instead choosing to play with the fabric of my Maxi dress as I carry on my internal war with the airplane Gods.

  “You okay over there? You’re quiet this morning. I thought you’d be bouncing off the walls by now,” Sean asks.

  “I hate to fly.” No use trying to hide it. I’m a hot mess.

  Sean immediately switches into psychologist mode. “Seriously? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I know all kinds of breathing techniques and calming exercises. We could have started as soon as you woke up.”

  “You know how I feel about you assessing me. I want you to see me as your normal girlfriend, not a patient.” It may sound silly, but I want to be a strong woman, not a person with flaws who needs fixing. It’s in his nature to analyze the shit out of people. I’d prefer to stay on the other side of therapist Sean. The side I can get naked with.

  “You know it wouldn’t be like that, Hallie. Accepting help doesn’t make you weak.”

  “I suppose that’s true.”

  He shakes his head from the driver’s side of the car. I can tell he wants to help me. Thankfully, he doesn’t push me and drops it for the time being. Maybe I should have opened up to him more about things because sitting here in silence isn’t exactly doing me any favors.

  Roughly thirty minutes later we pull into the long term parking lot at the airport, unload our luggage and walk over to the closest tram stop to wait for the shuttle. The way they usher people in and out of this place makes me feel like an animal. I notice Sean lagging behind my steady pace so I stop and wait for him to catch up.

  “What do you have in this suitcase, Hallie? It’s so damn heavy. I thought we weren’t wearing clothes inside the room, you know I’d like you naked as much as possible on this trip.”

  Sean’s idea of a vacation is spending a lot of time in bed having sex, naked in the
shower having sex and wherever else we can be naked having sex. I’m all for it but I would like to experience all Vegas has to offer while we’re there.

  “I only packed a few outfits. It’s probably all the shoes. You never said anything about shoes.”

  “I didn’t realize I had to be so specific.”

  “You’ll learn,” I say teasingly. “Don’t worry; I may have tossed in a few items for your eyes only.” I wink and he groans.

  “This will be the longest flight ever if I don’t stop thinking about the sexy shit you packed.” I notice he subtly adjusts himself as he continues to drag my suitcase along.

  “Can we not talk about the plane, please,” I beg.

  “There is one way to forget about the plane you know,” he says with confidence.

  “Not get on it?” That sounds like the ideal plan, but I’m determined to make this work.

  “No, join the mile high club. I can keep you distracted the entire time. Over and over.” Sean rubs his hands together like a kid in a candy store. It’s not a bad idea but those bathrooms are entirely too small. Not to mention it’s also against the law.

  “Not happening. I’m not going to the slammer with a bunch of pimps, Sean. I’ve watched Cops. I know all the shady business going down on the Vegas strip.”

  “How about some guided imagery then?” he asks smoothly.

  “You worked that in there nicely. But no, still not happening,” I assure him as I keep hoofing it to the check-in kiosk. As much as I hate to inform him, picturing fluffy bunnies and rainbows isn’t going to ease my fear of flying. I applaud his effort though.

  Before long we finally make it inside the airport. There’s a good chance we’ve walked half a mile just to get there. I wiz right through check- in and being the over-organized planner that I am, our tickets and ID’s are all in a zipper pouch so I can whip out what we need at a moment’s notice. Sean got a kick out of my post it notes and travel lists scattered all around my house. Men have no idea what goes into packing and preparing for a vacation. Between planning each outfit, coordinating shoes and underwear, remembering both pieces of your bathing suit along with a cover-up, multiple lotions, sprays, shampoo’s and other toiletries, it’s no wonder women need a larger suitcase. Now that I’m thinking about all that I packed, I just pray we see our luggage again.