by Gia Riley
“You know that can’t happen,” he tells her.
“Tell me you don’t want me then.” Sean doesn’t respond immediately, making my heart plummet. Is this seriously happening right now?
“Audrey, you know what we had is in the past as well as I do. We’ve been over this.”
“So you don’t want to get lucky tonight?” Her red painted claws are running up and down his arm in a seductive attempt to lure him to her bed. From the sounds of it they are well acquainted with each other.
“Of course I do, but…?”
Before he even finishes his sentence I realize I’ve heard enough. I have no idea who this bitch thinks she is, but I’m not sticking around to find out about their amazing day or plans to screw each other tonight. It’s entirely possible they’ve already taken care of that during this so called conference..
I walk over and slide up next to Sean. “Sean, why don’t you introduce me to your friend?” His eyes grow wide and I can tell he’s wondering how much I may have heard. I don’t hide my anger at all.
“Hallie, baby, you look amazing.” He nods his head at Blondie and says, “this is just an old friend. Let’s go eat.” He teaches for my hand but I’m not done yet.
I chose to ignore him and introduce myself. “Hi, I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but since I have no idea who you are, I can’t make that conclusion yet.”
Barbie rakes her eyes over my body from head to toe, scoffing at the sight she sees. “Honey, why don’t you go play house somewhere else. Sean doesn’t care about you. He will always love me and our child. So go back wherever you came from. Mmkay.”
My head whips around so fast I get a little dizzy. “What is she talking about, Sean?” A child?
“Sean, just tell her to leave us alone,” Barbie barks from the other side of him. I notice her hand on his arm and want to smack it off.
“Audrey, stop.” Sean turns away from her and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Hallie, this is not what you think it is. I need you to trust me right now more than ever. Please, just trust me.”
“Tell me who she is,” I plead. When he has no words for me, my suspicions can only be confirmed. His silence speaks volumes whether he realizes it or not. I give him one more second to come clean before I turn around and never look back. Sean doesn’t come after me which only breaks my heart more. He doesn’t wear a wedding ring, and a child? God, I hope he isn’t married. I might be able to open up to the idea of a child, but why would he keep it from me. A father should be proud of their son or daughter — not keep it a secret. None of this makes any sense, yet I know what I heard and he was letting her touch him. He also said he wanted to get lucky tonight too. I’m certain of that. “What the fuck!” I say as I punch the up arrow on the elevator harder than necessary.
“My beautiful American neighbor, how are you?”
“Patrick, I’ve had better days.”
“Mon mignon, it can’t be that bad. You’re smile is too beautiful to hide.”
“Oh, it’s way worse than bad, Patrick.” This is the slowest fucking elevator.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No! I want to pack my shit and get the hell out of this damn resort before I get myself arrested.” The doors finally open and I leave a stunned Patrick standing inside the elevator wondering what has suddenly possessed me.
It’s only when I’m back inside our suite that I let my tears fall as my anger slowly combines with soul crushing saddness. I can’t compete with her mile long legs and bombshell body. Who was I kidding parading around in clothes that weren’t made for my budget or my figure? I can’t even bend over to remove my shoes thanks to this tight as hell dress, so I just kick them off. They take flight and smash into the wall. I hope they left a dent where they hit. They can add the repairs to Sean’s tab as a nice parting gift. I’m interrupted by the door slamming and Sean’s voice.
“Hallie!” He sounds frantic as he searches the suite for me. “Jesus, there you are.”
“What do you want, Sean?”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m packing. What the hell does it look like I’m doing?” He walks over to me and halts my progression. He tries to pull me close for a hug, but I dodge his advances.
“Baby, please stop. Listen to me.”
“Don’t baby me. Unless you plan on telling me the entire truth, we are done here.”
“What do you want to know? I’ll talk. I just can’t let you leave me. Not like this.”
“Is she your wife?”
“No. She isn’t.”
“Was she?”
“No. We never made it past the engagement.”
“What! You have to be shitting me right now. No wonder you got weird with my whole fake proposal thing. What about the kid? Is he or she here too?”
“No. We don’t have a child.”
“She said you did. Why would she lie?”
“She wasn’t.”
“Why are you talking in circles? Just fucking tell me, Sean.”
Barbie takes this opportunity to let herself into our suite and barge into our argument. “How did you get in here? Sean yells.
“I told the housekeeping girl I forgot my key. She let me in,” Barbie says. “Are you ready, Sean? We have reservations in twenty minutes. You’re favorite steak is waiting.”
The fact that she knows any of his favorites drives me mad. I want to rip her extensions out and shove them down her throat.
“Her shoe is sticking out of the wall! She clearly isn’t stable, baby. Let’s just go. You have me now. I’ve always been your girl.”
“Audrey, you aren’t my girl anymore. We’ve been over this.”
“Baby, stop being silly. She doesn’t matter and can find her way to the airport all by herself. I’d change first though. That dress does nothing for you.” Barbie is tugging on Sean’s arm, trying to haul him away from the suite as she insults me.
“Fucking shit!” My words aren’t directed at either of them, just the situation in general. I feel like I’m in a damn movie right now. Sean said all the right things to make me feel like I owned his heart. I’ve been down this road before though and I refuse to let him play me. This time, I’m removing myself from the situation before he has any chance to backpedal and try to cover his tracks. The evidence is right before my eyes. That’s all the proof I need to hightail it out of this resort and relationship.
I leave my heel wedged in the wall and put on my flip flops. This dress will be a bitch to travel in, but I don’t have time to change. I throw as much as I can in my suitcase and leave the rest behind. There will be plenty of time to buy new things when I get home and get back to life as usual — without Sean.
“Hallie. Please, baby. Don’t do this. I can’t come with you. They’re expecting me at the conference tomorrow. If I leave, I’ll lose my job.”
“I don’t want you to come with me. We are done, Sean.” I wheel my suitcase around him, walking briskly out the suite door. I can hear Blondie telling Sean he’s better off without me. It takes every bit of self-control I have left to keep from punching the fake lashes right off her face. I’m not a violent person by nature, but she turns me into The Hulk.
Sean runs into the hallway with the bimbo on his tail trying to plead his case one last time. It’s not enough to make me turn around. I asked for the truth. He couldn’t give it to me. Taking the high road, I keep my mouth closed until I’m standing waiting for the elevator again. My anger is simmering, slowly building to a boil. I turn and look at her pathetic face one last time. “Sean’s chasing me, you’re chasing him. But who is chasing you, Audrey? Maybe you need to re-evaluate your plans.”
The door opens and I step inside, immediately hitting the button for the doors to close. “Hallie, please don’t leave me,” Sean begs.
All he had to do was tell me the truth. Why is he protecting her? Choosing her?
THE ADRENALINE COURSING THROUGH my body paired with the demise of my relationship
seems to balance each other out and all I’m left with is an empty numbness. I’m sitting on the plane as calmly as I’ve ever been for a flight. I never looked out the window, never inspected the aircraft and didn’t even search for a magazine or candy to munch on. The only thing I bothered to do was text Alex to let him know I’m on my way home. Thankfully he’ll come get my miserable ass from the airport when my plane arrives. I could tell he wanted to ask me questions about why I was coming home early and without my boyfriend, but he refrained from digging for the info. I appreciate that more than he knows.
I think I’m still in shock from what happened. Tonight’s events have left me wanting to give up on the entire male population. Maybe there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. I’ve probably just been blinded by the things I love about Sean making him seem like more than he actually was. I’d like to think I can read people better than that, truly seeing them for the fraud they are well in advance, but I clearly missed this one by a mile.
The more I think about what Sean and I shared, the harder it becomes to hold myself together. I sniffle and try my best to hide the tears that escape my glassy eyes. He knew how vulnerable I was following Ryan’s death. He also swore he was in this for the long haul or I never would have bothered. I slip my sunglasses over my red eyes to shield myself from the prying eyes of the other passengers. I’m ashamed of myself right now and wish I could disappear into the upholstery of the seat — germs and all.
“Here sweetie, take one of these.”
I look over to my seat mate and realize I haven’t fooled her. “Thank you.” I wipe my tears and nose with her tissue and curl into a smaller ball wishing to be home in my safety net otherwise known as a bed. I tell myself I can cry all I want today, but once tomorrow comes, I have to get it together. How the hell am I going to bring this up in my support group? Each week we go around the circle and talk about our past few days with one another. It’s a great way to ask for advice or just to remember that I’m still taking things one day at a time. I’ve talked Sean up so much they think he walks on water. Now not only do I have a boyfriend who passed away, I have a boyfriend who can’t keep his pants up. I’ve heard of people who are unlucky in love, but this is a little ridiculous. Deep breaths, Hallie.
The flight stretches on for what feels like an eternity. I get up once to use the restroom which I never want to do again. The small space they give you to move around is hardly sufficient. I banged my elbow on the wall, sink and door all within a second of each other. And to think Sean wanted to get naked in that tiny space. Naked Sean is delicious. How am I going to get through this if even a simple trip to the bathroom makes me think of Sean?
Alex is waiting for me in the baggage claim area just as he said he would. I walk right into his waiting arms and let him hold me while we wait for my bags to make their journey around the conveyor belt. My emotions have been making a similar journey lately, going around in circles, waiting for right and wrong to make a deal with each other and cut me a break.
“You want to talk about it?” Alex asks.
“Nope.”
“That’s what I thought. Come on, I see your stuff.”
“How do you know which one’s mine?” I question.
“You always tie a bright yellow ribbon around the handle so you can find it easier.”
“You don’t miss much do you?”
“Not when it comes to you, baby girl.”
The drive home is quiet and we only talk about what’s been going on with him and Tanner while I’ve been away. Thankfully one of us is able to manage a successful relationship. He offers to stay and sit with me for a while once we arrive home, but it’s almost morning and I’m beat. I have mail to sort through along with a yard that needs mowed, but none of that is happening tonight. I chuck my dirty clothes into the washing machine and debate turning my phone on. Sean has to be blowing it up by now trying to figure out where I am. I know he called Alex fifty times, but he didn’t know what to tell him other than I was on my way home.
Curiosity gets the better of me and I turn my phone on anyway. I was right, a zillion texts from Sean and a few missed calls. He’s begging me to call him and talk to him. I know he has to be going crazy since he can’t leave Vegas. He still has one more day of the conference left. I’m not sure he would be able to run back to find me anyway with that blond bitch hanging on his arm. The more I think about her, the angrier I get. Maybe I should have fought harder for my man, but if a guy cheats once, he’ll just do it again. I’d never be able to trust him even if I did take him back. That’s definitely no way to live and has the makings for a toxic relationship. I don’t want to be with a guy who wants someone else anyway.
Thinking about Sean only makes me feel spiteful, so I do the one thing I know I shouldn’t. I text Colby. I never said I was an angel.
Hallie: U awake?
Colby: Hey gorgeous. I’m always up for you.
Hallie: Gross, Colby.
Colby: Haha. So what’s up? Late night?
Hallie: Bad night.
Colby: Trouble in paradise?
Hallie: How’d you know?
Colby: Then you have a date tomorrow.
Hallie: What?
My phone rings in my hand, startling me. “Hey, Colby.”
“Hey, yourself little lady. I’m taking you out tomorrow.”
“Colby, it’s been like 3 hours since my relationship blew up. I’m sure round two is coming once Sean gets home from his conference.”
“I don’t care about tough guy. His fuck-up, which I assume he fucked-up, is my gain.”
He’s not going to let this go, I can already tell. “There’s only one thing I plan to do tomorrow and that’s drink, a lot. So unless you’re down for that, then no. And it’s not a date. I’m not dating again for a very long time, if ever. Men suck ass. No offense to you.” I hear him laugh on the other end of the line.
“Drinking it is then, and call it what you want.”
“Deal.”
“Alright, hot shot. See you tomorrow. And hey, thanks for giving me another shot after the flower fiasco.”
“Night, Colby. And you’re welcome.” I hang up and briefly think I just made a mistake. He’s the last person I should be spending my time with because I have no intention of ever dating him or being with him. But I can’t talk to Sean, I won’t get into it with Alex and I know Amie will be at work. I really don’t feel like airing out my dirty laundry to anyone else I know.
Against my better judgment, I decide to send one text to Sean before I go to bed letting him know I’m home and safe. I know it’s more than he deserves right now, but I would want to know if he was safe if I was on the other side of this debacle. I also can’t help it that I still want him to care about me. If I ignore him completely, he may never even want me back. Not that I would take him back, at least I don’t think so. God, I’m an idiot. Of course I would want him back because I’m a woman and we always want what we can’t have. It’s human nature so I won’t even bother bullshitting myself. I finish sending the text and turn my phone off before I get myself into any more trouble tonight.
I don’t feel any better when I wake up and realize I’m alone. My dreams were all over the place which leads me to believe I’m missing Sean more than I’d like to admit. Thankfully, I have a fun day with Colby planned. He’s meeting me at Shorty’s for lunch and drinks. I was going to suggest going elsewhere, but we know the bartenders pretty well and can get cheap drinks. Since the only thing on my agenda today is getting wasted, I’m all for keeping it cheap. I just spent a small fortune on a flight home.
Alex has to work all day, so I’m not able to talk to him about my current relationship mess. It’s okay with me though. He would force me to spew all the serious facts I’m not ready to face. He’d also make me see things from Sean’s perspective, which I already do, and would want me to rectify the situation even if it wasn’t my fault in the first place. Alex is a romantic and tries to put things back together
as quickly as possible. He sees the world in movie fashion with two people running together in slow motion, embracing and twirling around kissing passionately. This is why Colby is the best option for me today. A typical conversation with him revolves around sexual innuendos and liquor. Much easier to handle.
“Where’s my date?” I hear as someone barrels in the front door to my house. So much for knocking.
“Jeez, Colby. The little jigger next to the door is the doorbell. Can we work on that for next time?” I say as I laugh at his typical antics.
“I’ll do anything if there’s a next time.”
“Already pouring on the charm are we?”
“It’s no secret I want you,” he says.
Maybe I didn’t think this through well enough, but I’ve turned him down multiple times already. I’m pretty sure flirting is just his way of communicating though. He has to know I’d never hop right into bed with him. If he doesn’t, then he doesn’t know me at all. I choose to disregard his statement and pretend he never said it. Deny, deny, deny.
“Ready?” I ask.
“I’m always ready, Hallie.” He purposely brushes against me as he walks out the front door. Definitely not a subtle move. I think I’m in for it today. Of course we argue about who is driving before I finally give up and climb into his Jeep. The Jeep is just another part of Colby’s surfer vibe. I can picture him toting around surf boards on the roof with his shaggy dirty blond hair blowing in the ocean breeze.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“What?” I ask surprised. I feel like he was just inside my head and caught me thinking about him riding surfboards in the ocean.
“What are you thinking?” he asks again, this time a little slower.
“It’s a nice day.” Good cover, Hallie.
“You are so full of shit, hot shot. That means you were thinking about my amazing body.”
“It does not!” I shout back at him.
“And that confirms it.”