After the Pain

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After the Pain Page 8

by Gia Riley


  I throw my hands in the air, exasperated with his ability to read my mind. “It does not. I was just wondering if you surf.”

  “Because I drive a Jeep?” he questions.

  “Well, yeah. That and the fact that you look like a surfer. I just put two and two together.”

  “There’s so much you don’t know about me, Hallie. Maybe you should stop worrying about King Dickhead and try your luck elsewhere.”

  “I knew I should have driven myself,” I mumble under my breath and cross my arms. I’m suddenly fascinated with the passing scenery as I focus my eyes anywhere but on him.

  “I heard that.”

  “Just drive, please.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  The bar is surprisingly busy when we arrive. I didn’t realize this place had such a booming lunch crowd. I make sure and order a turkey club before I attempt to start drinking. I’d rather not throw up tonight if at all possible.

  I dig into my sandwich as soon as it arrives. I probably look like I haven’t eaten in days. Skipping dinner last night and breakfast this morning may count. I’m not one of those girls who can’t eat in front of the male species. If I’m hungry, you better believe I’m chowing down on something delicious. Right now, this turkey sandwich has my name all over it.

  “So what went down with you and douchebag?” Colby asks as he pops a chip into his mouth. I knew he would ask eventually. I guess now is as good as time as any.

  “His name is still Sean.”

  “Whatever, Hallie. He obviously hurt you and cheated, so he’s a douche.”

  “Why would you assume he cheated?”

  “Well, um…I’m not assuming. I was just guessing. Guys cheat a lot, so that’s why I said that.”

  “Do you cheat?” I fire back.

  “What? No. Of course not. If you were mine, I’d treat you like a queen. You can even have my best surf board.”

  His explanation is sketchy as he tries to cover his tracks, why I’m not sure, but I try not to dwell on it. “How sweet. I’d rather not get into specifics with you though. It’s kind of private.” I concentrate on my lunch but he’s not making it easy to avoid his questioning. Especially now that he reminded me Sean was having sex with another woman.

  “You can trust me, hot shot. It’s me you’re talking to. I’m not a stranger.”

  “In a way you are though. We don’t know much about each other. I’d just rather keep our friendship separate from my personal life, okay?”

  “I guess, but if he messed up, just forget him. Move on. Get to know me better.”

  It’s no secret Colby hasn’t been a fan of Sean from day one, so I pay no mind to his need to lead me away from him or his need to bad mouth Sean. It’s easy for him to tell me to forget about him because he knows nothing about what we shared. I’m in no mood to clue him in either. In fact, this whole non-date was a really bad idea and I’d like to just go home and pretend it never happened.

  “Colby, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but I’m fine. I think I just want to go home. I’m tired.”

  He looks a little angry that I’m cutting his time short, but quickly covers it up with one of his panty dropping smiles. He even pays for my lunch. I’ll have to pay him back. He needs to stop spending his money on me. I can take care of myself. I did just fine before Sean came along and I can get right back to that place with a little time under my belt.

  When I get home, Colby gets out of the Jeep before me and waits on my porch. My stomach felt unsettled after I ate, probably from all the worrying and stress of the past twenty-four hours, so I take my time getting inside hoping the nauseous feeling dissipates now that I’m out of the Jeep. I’m unlocking my front door when Colby comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my middle. I smack his hands away, “Colby!” He backs up but doesn’t give in completely. I just got déjà vu from the night of the flower incident.

  “Why won’t you just give in? You want this as much as I do, I know you do.”

  “Colby, I told you I’m not into you like that. You’re awesome to hang out with, but we wouldn’t work as a couple. Plus, I’m never dating again.”

  “I’ll get you to give in, eventually. Mark my words. We will happen.”

  “Whatever you say, Colby. I’m tired and I’ve had enough drama. I don’t need any more. Thanks for lunch.” I don’t invite him inside. I’d rather end things on the porch before he gets any stupid ideas of trying to make us happen.

  “Anytime, beautiful,” Colby says as he walks off the porch and back to his Jeep. It doesn’t go unnoticed he slams his door shut louder than necessary. If he’s pissed, so be it. I’m not making out with him just to make him happy. If I can’t have Sean, then I don’t want anyone.

  I shut the door and lock it behind me. I notice a white envelope lying on the floor that must have been slipped through the mail slot in my door. This house has a lot of charming features, and I had a hard time getting used to this one. It’s fun to laugh about it now, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked inside and almost fell on my ass as I slid across the floor on a piece of mail. I put up a mailbox, so this kind of thing doesn’t happen much anymore. It’s probably from a neighbor or solicitor.

  I peel back the flap on the envelope and pull out the paper. He’s Mine is written in red letters across the white paper. The contrast adds intensity to the message whether intended or not.

  I can’t shake the bad feeling I have about it. I go around to all my doors and windows, making sure they’re locked. My natural instincts are to obsessively worry as it is. This just adds to my craziness. I have an alarm on my house, so at least I have the comfort of feeling somewhat protected. I sneak a peek out my front door. It’s almost dark outside but still light enough that I can see my surroundings. Nothing looks out of the ordinary as I scan the area.

  There’s no way to tell how long this letter has been laying inside my house, or when it was delivered. All I can do is sit and stare at the words that are mocking me from the countertop. Who would send me something like this and are they referring to Sean or Colby? I assume Sean, but maybe someone saw me out with Colby today. There were so many people at the bar throughout the day; it could have been any number of women. But I’m almost positive it’s linked with Sean’s chick from the resort. It has to be.

  Sleep will not be easy tonight with this lurking over me. I turn my phone back on and decide to check Sean’s messages. I’m shaky and for some reason seeing his name on the screen is comforting, even if he has done me incredibly wrong. I start to cry when I see how worried and upset he is that I left him. Then, I remember why I left in the first place and wipe away my tears. He doesn’t deserve them. I notice his most recent text was sent about an hour ago and I decide to respond to it.

  Sean: I’m home. Tried your house. Please Hallie. Where are you?

  Hallie: I just got home.

  Sean: I’m coming over. We need to talk NOW.

  Hallie: No!

  Sean: I’ve waited long enough. NOW.

  Hallie: Okay. I’ll come over. Give me ten minutes.

  Sean: Not a minute more or I’m coming after you.

  Jeez. I run to my room and throw a few things in my purse to take with me. Before I unlock my front door I freeze in place. I’m scared of who might be out there. I decide to take the note along with me so I can show it to Sean. Maybe he knows what it means and can explain everything to me. As much as I dread hearing the truth, I know it will help answer all the questions swirling around in my overactive imagination. That is if he decides to start talking.

  I panic as I walk back through the kitchen so I reach in the silverware drawer to grab a knife, my eyes darting around the room for anything else sharp I may have. I don’t have any mace but I do have some cleaning products under the kitchen sink. That has to feel like shit getting in someone’s eyes too. I grab the first thing I see and rush outside, quickly locking the door behind me. I almost drop my armor, but manage to hang on to it.


  Flying down the porch stairs, I start running as fast as my legs will carry me toward Sean’s house. Just seeing him heading my way makes me relax a little. He wasn’t kidding about my ten minute time limit. By the time we meet up, I’m more than a little out of breath. A car passes by and honks the horn, catching me off-guard. I scream and cover my head. Sean’s looking at me like I’ve lost my mind in the short time we’ve been apart. I’m not risking standing out here in plain view so I grab his arm. “Hurry up and get inside, Sean.”

  It’s only when I’m completely inside Sean’s house that I let myself decompress. I lean against his front door and slide down to the floor where my knife and spray clang against the tile floor, the spray rolling away from me. I’m out of breath from the short run combined with the fear that has my heart hammering in my chest. That was seriously intense. When I open my eyes Sean is inspecting me unsure of exactly what just happened.

  “I know we have a lot to talk about, and we will cover every single detail, but first, what the hell is going on with you? I’m not judging, Hallie, but why do you have a butter knife and lemon scented Pledge?”

  “What?” I look down and sure enough, the big, scary knife I thought I grabbed is in fact a butter knife. I still stand by the Pledge though.

  “To protect myself,” I say with confidence.

  “From what? Please tell me you’re not scared of me, Hallie.”

  “No, not you. I’m not sure of what exactly.” Sean must sense this is going to take a while. He sits down on the floor in front of me and pushes my weapons to the side.

  “You gotta give me more than that. Why are you scared in the first place?” he asks.

  “I wasn’t sure what to make of it, but someone left me a letter while I was out today. Someone put it through the mail slot in my door. It doesn’t make sense, because I have a mailbox now. All it said was He’s Mine. There wasn’t a return address or anything. I got scared. I am scared.” I hug my knees against my chest and rest my chin on my knees.

  “Let me see it.” At least he’s taking this seriously. I pull the letter out of my purse and hand it to him. He unfolds it and looks it over. I watch his expression to see if it means anything to him. When his eyes become more intense, I realize it’s no mistake.

  “I’ll take care of this, Hallie. I don’t want you to worry about this piece of paper at all, okay? Consider it over and done with.”

  I shake my head showing him I understand. “So you know who it came from, then?” He doesn’t look me in the eyes. He just keeps looking at the letter. “I have an idea. You just need to trust me on this. I’ll take care of it.”

  “You keep telling me to trust you, but I don’t know if I can. Not after everything that happened in Vegas.” I’m annoyed he isn’t offering any details about the mystery sender just like he couldn’t explain himself in the hotel room. Even if I am incredibly upset with him, part of me still wants to believe he would never intentionally put me in danger. My anger wins over my feelings for him and I tell him the truth, “Your word kind of means shit to me right now, Sean.” I hug my knees a little tighter. The only thing I’m sure of right now is that I can’t keep walking around with this shitty armor. I’ll have to check into actual Mace. No more furniture polish.

  Sean stands up and holds out his hands encouraging me to get up off the floor. He helps me up and pulls my body close for a hug. “Please don’t be scared. I won’t let anyone hurt you, I swear. I’m so mad at you right now, but I’ll never stop protecting you.”

  “Hold up. You’re mad at me! That takes balls, Sean. You screwed me over. Not the other way around. Our whole trip was shot to shit because you were getting naked with that whore.”

  “In case you forgot, you walked out on me, Hallie. I had to sit in that damn suite all night and worry about you flying home all alone. You’re petrified of flying and I wasn’t there to help you. I almost left but Alex told me not to. He said he would be waiting for you. Alex is the only reason I still have a job right now because I was ready to throw it all away for you, Hallie.”

  “I’m sorry you were worried, but you cheated, Sean. How could you do that to me?”

  “God, baby. I swear on my life I never touched her.”

  “It’s Hallie.” I deadpan.

  Sean rolls his eyes and tilts his head back in frustration, “I’ll call you what I want, now tell me why you felt the only answer was to race to the airport and leave me.”

  “Do you really need me to spell it out for your lying, cheating ass?”

  “YES! Because I haven’t done a damn thing wrong! You were my girl one minute and then the next you just forget I exist. I’ve been calling, texting, leaving voicemails for you and all but one was ignored.”

  “I’m well aware you exist, Sean. So much so that I can’t stop thinking about how wrong I was about you. Everything has been one big lie. I saw you and Malibu Barbie getting cozy in the lounge. Her trashy nails were running up and down your arm as you discussed how damn lucky you were going to get that night. So tell me, Sean, how long have you two been screwing each other? And you bring us both to the same flippin resort? You’re more of a dumbass than I ever thought possible.”

  Sean groans loudly showcasing his frustration and follows it up with a deep breath before continuing. I’d rather he just yell and show me he’s human. “That’s not how it was at all. If you would have stuck around long enough to hear me finish my sentence, I said I planned on getting lucky but not with her, with you. You’re the only woman I want. How could you even question that?”

  “Then tell me who she is and why she’s leaving notes at my house reminding me you’re her property. I’m not stupid - I know the note has to be from her. Tell me why she’s cozying up to you in the lounge and why she acts like you two have a long ass history together. Fucking tell me, Sean. Make me understand.”

  “Please stop yelling. I haven’t touched Audrey in years, Hallie. I have a past, we all do. She is in my past.”

  “Is that supposed to be comforting?” I ask. “Because she was very present last night. I saw her plain as day with the guy who is supposed to belong to me. So either I’m losing my mind or your past is creeping up on you.”

  “No, you weren’t losing your mind and what you saw did happen, but her and I have been over for years. Will you sit down in the living room and have a real conversation with me. I don’t want to argue with you anymore. I miss you too damn much.”

  “So we aren’t broken up? Because I mentally broke up with you already.” I may have mentally broken up with him but I definitely haven’t emotionally or physically. I still want him and my body betrays me every time I think about his gorgeous blue eyes, dark hair and sexy as sin body.

  “The hell we are! This isn’t over, Hallie.” He says gesturing between the two of us. “We aren’t over. Not by a longshot. I’ll go get my damn ring pop if I have to.”

  “But we were creative with the candy. There is no ring pop anymore.”

  “I saved the plastic band, okay?”

  “Seriously?” I thought only chicks were that sentimental. This is surprising news.

  “Yes, Hallie. It’s a memory of the night you became mine. You mean everything to me.”

  I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable by his words. “If you want that to be true, then I need you to tell me the truth or we’re done. I want to know who she is and why she’s tormenting me with notes. Why is she suddenly wedging her way back into your life?”

  I watch him rub his hands over his face as he tries to find the starting point for the bomb he’s about to drop on me. I know it’s a big deal; otherwise, he wouldn’t look so defeated right now. Dropping the subject isn’t going to happen though. If he wants any shot at a life with me, I need one hundred percent honesty every single day. No matter how painful the truth may be. It always sets you free.

  “I don’t know how else to say this, so I’m just going to say it. Her name is Audrey. She’s been tryin
g to get back with me for months now. The night at the carnival, the note on the windshield was from her. I figured she would track me down eventually, but she’s been watching me closely for longer than I thought. I swear I’ve never lied to you before, other than for that night. I just couldn’t risk losing you before I even had you. I know that makes me sound like a selfish asshole.”

  Hearing him admit he lied to me really hurts. I won’t pretend it doesn’t. All I know is, he better have a damn good reason for withholding information from me. In my book, an omission is just as bad as a lie. It packs an even stronger punch because he chose not to tell me the facts. He chose to dismiss how I may feel and he never gave me a shot to try to understand his point of view. That tells me he never really trusted me in the first place. Either that or he’s just scared. I can work with him being scared, but not his lack of trust. “I’m listening, Sean. Keep going.”

  “Shit, Hallie. I hate this.”

  “Sean, I need you to tell me the truth. I can handle it.”

  He nods his head before beginning. “Audrey and I were high school sweethearts. We were so sure we’d be together for the rest of our lives; we even went away to college together. There wasn’t a time in my teenage years I wasn’t with her. She was all I knew. Unfortunately, she got mixed up with the wrong crowd in her dorm and by our junior year of college we broke up. She wasn’t the same girl I grew up with, the one who was my best friend and knew everything about me.”

  “Why did you break up?” I question. It has to be something big for him to just walk away. He doesn’t strike me as the type to give up easily given our current situation. I need to make sure he tells me everything.

  “She said she wasn’t feeling well one night, so I went to her dorm to see how she was doing. I even took a damn teddy bear I found in the campus book store like the lovesick puppy I was. When I opened her door, I caught her with another guy. That night life as I knew it changed. She and I were over immediately. Audrey tried coming crawling back to me and I considered it. I still loved her. You don’t just stop loving someone the second they mess up or shit gets bad.” Sean takes a minute to reprocess the information he just fed me like he’s reliving the visual in his head all over again. I let him take all the time he needs so he can continue. There’s more to this story, I can feel it coming.

 

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