Balance of Terror

by K S Augustin

  “I know,” he said. “Everything you’re saying makes sense. But I can’t do it yet, Moon. You’re expecting me to formulate a plan for the rest of my life when I’ve only just re-discovered it? When I’m not sure from day to day whether we’ll be back in Republic hands again? If I’m going to confront what was done to my life, I need to be in a more secure place. I need to be at some point of equilibrium. I don’t want to think about my past life right now because, to be honest, I can’t afford to.” His grip tightened. “And neither can you.”

  It was the perfect introduction to what she had been doing for the past several hours and Moon took it. Gently, she disengaged her hand and began eating, filling him in on news in between mouthfuls.

  “I went to Gauder’s office but he wasn’t there. I was half-expecting that,” she added quickly, “because Kad warned me that he moves around a lot. (This is delicious, by the way. I think I’ll get you to do all the cooking from now on!) A, um, business associate I met in his building, gave me a contact number and I left a message. Tomorrow, I’ll head back to the public terminal where I logged the message. If we’re lucky, Gauder will leave a message for us.”

  “I don’t like it,” Srin remarked. “It all sounds so vague. You don’t know what the guy looks like, you get some mysterious number where all you can do is leave a message, you need to go back tomorrow.”

  “It’s not quite as clear-cut as having a pirate shuttle boost 5g to get us off Lunar Fifteen in a hurry,” Moon agreed, “but I suppose running away from one’s government is not all rocket blasts and drama.”

  “No. I suppose a lot of it is just sitting someplace, wondering who reaches you first.”

  They were quiet for many moments after that, concentrating on their meal so they didn’t have to think of other things.

  Despite the threat of discovery still hanging over them, Moon watched Srin as he cleared the dishes away and wiped down the counters.

  “You still seem to be quite alert,” she finally observed, after they cleared the kitchen. “Are you sure you haven’t even felt the beginnings of a muscular spasm?”

  “I’m sure. As I said, your new mix seems to be working. Sure, it knocks me out for an hour when I first take it but then it gets a bit easier to think and move around for the rest of the day. The hyperpyrexia medication that doctor gave you seems to compound the effects though. I feel much more exhausted when I combine those medications. I don’t know, I suppose I’m just muddling through as best I can.”

  “If it works so well, you could – theoretically – stay on a regime like this for the rest of your life,” Moon muttered, then she straightened. “But, if you did, I would feel no better a creature than Hen Savic.”

  Her voice became brisk. “What we really need is to get you to a top-flight laboratory and have them run you through a cellular analysis. The kind of laboratory,” she grimaced, “that I doubt exists on Marentim.”

  Srin seemed to pick up on something in her tone.

  “You’re wondering what this Gauder character is going to do, aren’t you?” he asked. “Whether he’ll take us to the rendezvous point or…do something else?”

  “I hate having my fate decided by strangers,” she replied, bite in her voice. “It seems to me that the last four years of my life have been nothing but being bounced from one horrible fate to another, without the ability to do anything about it.”

  “You rescued us,” Srin objected.

  “Well okay,” she conceded, “although we had a lot of help with that. And we did a lot of the actual work ourselves.”

  “You put your research beyond the Republic’s reach forever, when you detonated those scramble-bombs along all your nets.”

  He moved up to her, enfolding her in his arms in a loose grip.

  Moon put a hand up to her mouth and choked out a laugh. “Do you remember that? The time to detonation ticking away and Drue stopping us just before we could board the shuttle for Slater’s End? If it wasn’t for that obnoxious Consul Moises throwing her weight around by allowing us to leave, we might be in a maximum-security detention facility right now. Or even on Bliss.”

  Srin sobered. “No Moon, I don’t remember that at all.”

  Her eyes widened and she lifted a hand to his cheek.

  “No you don’t do you,” she whispered. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. Sorry I had to use that hideous memory-swipe on you again, but we had no choice. We had to get off the planet…you were convulsing…a Republic sweep-team was about to come on board….”

  “I don’t regret it,” he answered fiercely, his voice low. “Not for a second. And it doesn’t matter what happens to me, what they do to me, I will always love you, Moon Thadin. You told me that I was attracted to you every two days for all the months we were aboard the Differential. You might call it attraction but, to me, it seems more likely that I was falling in love with you. Every two days. It was a compulsion greater than anything the Republic tried throwing at me, a compulsion that needed no artificial means of delivery.”

  Tears trickled down Moon’s cheeks. “Oh Srin.”

  She rested her head on his chest and felt the reassuring thump of his chest beneath her cheek. A few minutes later, she let herself be led to the bedroom.

  This would be the first time. The first time on Marentim. The first time since they’d escaped from Lunar Fifteen. The first time for a Srin who now had recent memories spanning more than one month.

  They peeled the clothes reverently off each other, savouring each moment that revealed a slice more of flesh, warm and quivering with want. Srin wasn’t much taller than her, and Moon liked the fact that she didn’t need to stand on tiptoes to kiss him. She admired his stocky build and the hardness of muscle beneath her questing fingers.

  “It’s been so long,” she murmured. “I can hardly remember the last time we made love.”

  “That makes two of us,” Srin said with a smile. He stroked his hands down the side of her arms. “Whenever I see you, it’s like gazing upon my own personal goddess.”

  She tried to shift, embarrassed, but he wouldn’t let her.

  “It’s true. The woman who delivered me from evil.” He kissed her breasts. “Whisked me to safety and who looks out for me still.”

  He pulled her down to the bed. “What did I ever do to deserve someone like you, Moon Thadin?”

  She straddled him, massaging his chest with long, sure circles of her palms, digging into the pads of his muscles with slim, strong fingers.

  “In a galaxy this big,” she whispered, bending down to kiss him, “I’m still amazed by how we managed to meet.”

  He shivered as the curtain of her unbound hair brushed across his nipples. “Maybe it was destiny?”

  He cupped her buttocks and pulled her naked body closer. “Or lust?”

  “Or,” she replied, nibbling delicately at his ear lobe, “both.”

  When they stopped talking, when the weight of their words could no longer keep them apart, they held each other in a tight embrace, as if afraid that something would intervene to separate them if they didn’t. Their lovemaking was fierce and primal, Srin’s sweat dripping down on Moon’s taut body as he arched over her, Moon’s cries half-pleas, half-sobs as she shuddered in his arms.

  It was over too quickly, their weeks of pent-up frustration expended in a handful of minutes.

  “I’m sorry,” Srin gasped. “I didn’t…I couldn’t….”

  Moon grabbed his face between her hands and pulled it down for a kiss. “Me neither,” she said. “And, to be honest, it felt pretty good.”

  He pulled out of her grasp, frowning. “Good? In what universe was a performance like mine good?”

  She pouted her full lips, trying to suppress a smile. “How about, in a universe full of people behaving like sex-starved teenagers?”

  He hadn’t expected her to say that because he barked out a disbelieving laugh. “Sex-starved teenagers? Dr. Thadin,” he said, “I think I’ve fallen in love with you all over a
gain.”

  She linked her hands around his neck. “I’m glad you said that, because I have a suggestion to make, in about an hour or so….”

  A single loud bang on their habitat door woke Moon from sleep. The events of the past few months had turned her into a light sleeper, and she jack-knifed into a sitting position in bed almost before the echo died down, instinctively reaching for the weapon on the small table beside her.

  Silence.

  Moon breathed in shallowly, frozen on the edge of the mattress, as the seconds ticked away. Surely if the noise heralded the Security Force, or even local enforcement, they would have broken in by now? Could it possibly be a drunkard, or addict, stumbling against the door while staggering home?

  Picking up the small pistol, Moon slid out of bed and shrugged on a loose robe. Walking as noiselessly as possible, she stepped into the living room. It was empty, and she let out a silent sigh of relief. Keeping the lights off, she crept forwards to the front door and laid her ear against the panel.

  Nothing. Not even the sound of receding footsteps reached her through the thin partition. As she turned away, however, she noted a small blinking light near the corner of the wall. Frowning, she walked over to it. She had never seen that light on before. Wracking her brain, she tried to remember what it meant. It wasn’t the visual prompt for a door chime. Garbage disposal? Civil alarm? Evacuation indicator?

  Message receptacle!

  Moon supposed it was a leftover from older times, when communications were sometimes left at someone’s physical address rather than being beamed directly to their personal units. In the darkness, Moon’s fingers scrabbled for a ledge or button beneath the blinking light, and when the small panel slid open, the light went off.

  There was nothing inside the tiny hutch except for a small message chip, and even that was archaic technology. Moon closed the receptacle, walked to the habitat’s cheap monitor and inserted the token into the multi-input slot. Immediately, the screen glowed white and text appeared in cramped and stunted lines.

  I WOULD LEAVE YOUR HABITAT IMMEDIATELY IF I WERE YOU. SECURITY FORCE IS SNIFFING AROUND. GET TO COLKEN SOUTH. THERE IS AN EMPLOYMENT CENTRE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY. MEET ME THERE IN SEVEN HOURS. I WILL WAIT FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES. DC

  “DC”? Moon’s face cleared. Of course, that would be “Durega Consulting”. But she stared at the rest of the message in disbelief. Running? Again? A part of her wanted to wail at the injustice of it all, then she reasserted herself. She hadn’t come this far only to be caught by Republic forces. With thinned lips, she walked back to the bedroom and dragged two large, anonymous-looking satchels from the closet space.

  After their last lovemaking session, Moon had given Srin his nightly shot of medication, and she wasn’t surprised to see him still in a deep sleep. She would have started giving him the bulk of his medicine at night but wasn’t sure whether they would need to make any night-time escapes. Just as well, judging by Gauder’s note, which got her thinking – was the threat real, or was Gauder trying to overly dramatise the situation? Once more, she hated having to depend on people while flailing in ignorance.

  Moon packed their personal things quickly and efficiently. Not knowing when she’d be clean again, she took a quick lukewarm shower before changing into a top, shirt and loose pair of trousers. Walking through the rest of the small habitat, she took stock of what more they could take. Not much. Maybe a set of knives she had bought when she discovered she would actually have to start butchering meat and vegetables in order to prepare meals, a couple of metal cooking dishes – they called them “pans” at the local market – and a handful of utensils. The rent on the habitat wasn’t due for another fourteen days, almost a week and a half by Marentim time reckoning. With any luck, the trail would be cold by the time anyone asked about them as past tenants. Just to be on the safe side, Moon called a cleaning service and booked a slot later in the morning for the “Ultra Sanitation” option, paying for it and providing the habitat passcode at the same time.

  Only when she was ready, the two packed bags at her feet, did she wake up Srin.

  “My love.” She shook him gently. “We have to go.”

  She watched as Srin surfaced through layers of sleep, his eyes clearing and his brow furrowing as he took in her appearance.

  “Have I slept through half a day?” he asked groggily. “Why are you dressed?”

  “No, it’s four in the morning, you didn’t sleep through anything. But we have to get out of here.”

  As debilitated as he was, his brain leapt to the right conclusion. “Gauder?”

  She nodded. “He left us a message.”

  Moon didn’t know how much time they had. Gauder’s message had intimated that the Security Force was on their heels, but was its proximity measured in minutes? Hours? Days? She tried not to fret when Srin went to the bathroom to clean himself up, shuffling like an old man under the weight of his new drug regime. She brightened with relief when he emerged. It only took him minutes to change into what he termed his “travelling clothes” and they were ready to leave.

  Moon didn’t spare a look back as they left their habitat. If she started doing that, spending precious minutes summarising the entirety of their stays, where would she end? The Differential, Slater’s End, the Merry-Go-Round, Lunar Fifteen, the Velvet Storm, and now Toltuk on Marentim. How many more such bolt-holes lay in their future? No, better to continue on their journey, without looking back. It was cleaner that way.

  There were only twenty hours in the Marentim day and dawn was already breaking over the city when the two escapees emerged on the street. The roads were starting to fill up with workers heading for jobs on the outskirts – assembly lines, manufacturing workshops, canteens. The pair joined the slow ribbon of people winding through the dark streets.

  “I wonder if I should contact Gauder’s answering service again,” Moon mused quietly, after filling in Srin on the gist of the message she’d received. “Let him know that we’re on our way.”

  With Moon leading the way, they stopped close to her usual terminal along the alleyway full of bars and gambling dens but, as she turned the corner, she abruptly froze and quickly backtracked. Pulling Srin along, she dove once more into the stream of workers along the main road.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked, when they had matched the crowd’s pace.

  “There were Security Force personnel around the terminal. They looked like they were waiting for someone.” Moon bit the bottom of her lip. “It might not have been for me. That terminal’s near a number of, I’m sure, illegal establishments. Maybe they were after a criminal.”

  Srin chuckled quietly. “You mean, someone like us?”

  “We’re refugees,” she retorted, “not extortionists.”

  “If they are waiting for us, how could they have found out?”

  Moon instantly thought of the bank teller who had watched her with acquisitive interest. Or it might have been a neighbour who was suspicious of strangers. Maybe even one of the gambling establishment’s employees, looking to finger anyone out of place in return for some quick credits.

  She shook her head. “I don’t know.” They might have thought the planet safe, but there were still too many unknown variables on Marentim.

  “So maybe this Gauder was right after all?” Srin prompted.

  “Maybe. I suppose we find out whether we can really trust him in a few hours’ time.”

  They kept walking and only slowed again once they were in sight of a transport station.

  Thankfully, no enforcement officers stood guard at the fare machines. Using some of their original tokenised money, rather than the bank-issued credit disc, Moon bought two tickets for a station four stops beyond their destination: Colken North. They caught the shuttle five minutes before it left on its roughly five-and-a-half hour journey and strapped themselves in.

  The minutes ticked away in Moon’s head as the shuttle lurched and headed off. It had probably taken them thirty minutes t
o leave the habitat from the time she first received the message. Add ten minutes to get to the transport station, plus five hours for the trip to Colken South. That was almost six hours in total, not including the time it took to deliver the message to their habitat in the first place. She grimaced at her mental calculations. They probably had less than sixty minutes to find the employment centre, get there and contact Gauder.

  If they missed their rendezvous, what would happen then? Moon swallowed and resolutely looked out the window at a new day. One problem at a time, she told herself.

  One problem at a time.

  Chapter Five

  Moon had bought tickets for Colken North but knew that she and Srin would be alighting four stops earlier, at Colken South as Gauder had instructed. It was only a small ruse but she was trying to think as defensively as she could.

  The problem with thinking defensively, however, was that Moon could tie herself in knots over it. What if the message from Gauder hadn’t come from him at all? What if he had tipped off the Security Force, was double-crossing her, and it was an armed delegation from the Republic that would meet them at the employment centre?

  She groaned and Srin immediately squeezed her hand.

  “Is something the matter?” he asked quietly.

  The three-car shuttle had been shedding, and taking on, passengers at every stop and the cabin was filled with a dusty aroma that reminded Moon of deserts and thin brown leaves.

  “No, nothing,” she murmured. “Just backing myself into tight corners.”

  Even though she was expecting it, the stop for Colken South came up quicker than she expected and they tumbled out of the car with about two dozen others who seemed to know where they were going. Because Moon didn’t, she let her and Srin once again get swept along with the crowd. A quick look around didn’t show any guards or members of an enforcement agency and they ambled towards the nearest directory screen as casually as possible.