The Sirens of SaSS Anthology

by Anthology

  He tossed some pillows around and searched for the remote. “I’m not watching a drama. I’ll do a comedy, but not a romantic one. And I can’t say it, because your whole gym comment proved you have screwed up girl thinking and that means I might upset you and you might start to do other girly things like cry or get all bitchy again.”

  I grabbed the remote off the cushion as he lifted another pillow. “I won’t cry. Say it.”

  “No.” He snatched the remote.

  I scoffed. “Pussy.”

  His head whipped around and he smiled. “Did you just call me a pussy?”

  “Yeah. I don’t use girly terms like—” Finger quotes. “—chicken.”

  “Oh, you are a bitch. Fine. I was going to say how stupid it is that girls can’t eat two slices of pizza without developing some big guilt complex. Like that’s going to make you fat. You’re a twig. I hate that shit and most guys feel the same way. Just eat and shut up about it.”

  I had plenty to say, but my lips wouldn’t move.

  “Ah, fuck. Are you going to cry?”

  “No.” But I did want to punch him in the dick.

  “Don’t get all sensitive. I prefer you bitchy.”

  Oh, I could be a bitch. If he only knew how much…

  “First of all, I’m not going to cry, I just needed a second to process everything you said. Second, I don’t work out for anyone but myself. Third, it’s a great stress reliever and I use it as an outlet when I’m tense. And fourth, I ate the second piece so shut the fuck up about my eating habits.”

  “You know, there are other outlets for stress relief—”

  “Oh, my God! Do you ever think of anything but sex?”

  “I’m just saying, my door’s closer than the gym.”

  “If you’re such a sex god, why don’t I ever see any women at your place?”

  “Maybe I take my business elsewhere.”

  I snatched the remote back and plopped on the couch. “I’m sure you do.”

  He sat beside me and stole the remote again. “I have plenty of sex. Way more than you.”

  “Well, I don’t doubt that.”

  He turned and gave me a questioning glance. “When’s the last time someone gave you something worth thinking about?”

  “I got flowers yester—”

  “No, I mean something that made you scream in a good way.”

  The last time I ordered someone to… “It’s been a while.”

  “Why though? You’re beautiful, sort of fun. Are you going through some kind of celibacy thing on purpose?”

  “Maybe I’m trying to graduate from ‘sort of fun’ to something that’s actually flattering. Let’s just say I’m picky and it’s not worth my time if it’s not done my way.”

  “So you haven’t had good sex.”

  I twisted to face him. “I’ve had incredible sex, but if everyone did it that good, it wouldn’t be incredible. Trust me, I’ve had good sex.”

  “How good?”

  “Great.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Meh, I don’t believe you.”

  I scoffed, and folded my arms, then scoffed again. “Well, lucky for you, I don’t give a dirty fuck if you believe me or not.”

  “You sure about that?”

  “Put on a damn movie.”

  He chuckled. “One day you’ll give a dirty fuck. And I’ll give it right back.” He shut off the lamp and hit play.

  “What the hell is this?”

  “Shh… You don’t want to miss the backstory, that’s what makes it hot.”

  “Oh. My. God. I’m not watching porn with you!”

  “Just a few minutes.”

  I reached for the remote and he jerked back.

  “Give it.”

  “Five minutes, then we can watch whatever you want.”

  “Noah!” I stretched over him, but his damn long arms were like telephone poles. “Change it!”

  “It’s a good one. Chicks like the ones with a plot.”

  That was it. I locked in on his nipple with my thumb and knuckle and pinched hard. “Shut it off!”

  “Ow! Fuck! Okay! Okay!”

  The remote fell to the floor and I let go. Bad acting and crappy lines played on the surround system as I tried to change the movie. “How the hell do you work this thing?”

  “I think you dislocated my areola.”

  “You’ll live.” I finally found the source button and the screen switched to something appropriate.

  “I really think you did some damage.”

  I glanced over my shoulder to find him peeking under the collar of his T-shirt. My lips twitched. There was something so adorable about him in that moment. I pictured myself straddling his thighs, removing his shirt, and kissing his nipple all better.

  Good God!

  I placed the remote on the coffee table. “Seeing as you’re busy with other things, I think I’ll just head home.”

  He dropped his shirt and grabbed my arm, taking me off guard as he yanked me to the sofa and pinned me there.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “You pinched mine, now I get to pinch yours.”

  “Oh, no, that’s not how this works.”

  “Chicken.”

  “Yeah, that’ll convince me.”

  “Pussy?”

  “You wish. Get off.”

  “Fair is fair, Avery.”

  “You stole the remote, hijacked the television and put on pornography, so I pinched your nipple. That’s fair.”

  His weight settled over me, silently warning he wasn’t going to let me up until I gave in. “Fine. Over the shirt for ten seconds. That’s it. And I’ll be sure not to whine like a baby, the way you did.”

  He took my wrists and yanked them over my head, pressing them into the couch pillows. “Don’t move.”

  I rolled my eyes, so not used to being bossed around when it came to this. “Oh, okay.”

  He sat up and stared at my chest, but didn’t touch me.

  “Are you gonna do it?”

  “I will. Be patient.”

  I huffed and rolled my eyes again. “Don’t forget I have to be at the gym in the morning. Aaaany day now. Whenever you’re ready.”

  “You talk too much.”

  “Well, what’s the hold-up?”

  “I’m waiting for your nipples to get hard.”

  I snorted. “What do you think you have, magic laser beam eyes? Sorry to disappoint, but they’re not going to get—”

  “Shh…” He rocked his hips into mine.

  “Hey! That’s not what we agreed to.”

  “Quiet.” He rocked again and the base of my spine tightened. His gaze lifted to mine and he smirked. “Bingo.”

  “Someone notify the press.”

  He leaned over me. “This sweatshirt’s ridiculously thick.”

  “So?”

  “So your nipples must be really hard if I can see them.”

  “You’re a twelve-year-old.”

  “Don’t scream.” His hands moved so fast I wasn’t prepared as his long fingers pinched down harder than clamps.

  I sucked a sharp breath through my nose and gave into the pain. The slow burn transcended into pleasure and my body reflexively arched into his. My eyes threatened to close, but I forced them to stay open, pretending what he was doing had no effect on me.

  “Nine…” He gave me a smile that would destroy a less disciplined woman. “Ten.” He released my nipples and sat back.

  Damn him. The second he let go I felt his touch all over again, the sharp twinge of sensation traveling to the tips of my breasts, making me itchy for more. If he was anyone else I’d make him strip and eat my pussy wearing only butterfly clamps until I came, but he was Noah and that wasn’t how this worked.

  “Happy now? Can you please get off?”

  “Sure, but maybe I should get you off first. Cheeks are awfully flushed, Avery.”

  I shoved his chest and pulled my legs out from under him. “I’m going home. Thanks fo
r dinner.”

  “I thought we were going to watch a movie.”

  “Turns out your taste sucks.” I walked to the door.

  “Not true,” he called, still sitting on the couch. “I like you.”

  “Well, find another girl to like.”

  “Nope! Soon we’re gonna be more than friends. I’m gonna have you, Avery Johansson. Just wait.”

  I let myself out and smiled as I crossed the hall. He wouldn’t get his wish, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy his perseverance while it lasted.

  As it turned out, Noah Wolfe was sort of fun.

  Before climbing into bed I stood in front of my dresser mirror and stripped off my sweatshirt. My nipples, puckered and deliciously sore, tightened in the cool air. God, I missed sex.

  Visions of past experiences mingled with moments from tonight and again I was reminded of how unfitting Noah was for me. Yanking open a drawer, I grabbed a T-shirt and changed for bed.

  That shelf, the cluttered one with old memories I rarely examined, seemed to call to me and soon enough I was picking through dusty recollections that were better left alone.

  I cowered in the corner as my mother waled on Kenny with a book in the next room. If I kept quiet she might forget I was still home.

  “I told you it was gettin’ late and now look what you’ve done!”

  “The bus was early! I left the same time I always do.”

  “I ain’t got no way to take you to school, Kenneth! The truant officer’s gonna be back.”

  “Let him come! I ain’t ever gonna graduate anyway!”

  The book hit the wall and I flinched.

  “Get outside! Avery Dean, I gotta get the neighbor to drive your brother to school. Do not miss your bus. You hear?”

  “Y—yes, Momma.” The front door slammed and I quickly gathered my backpack, rushing out the door the moment they were out of sight. But I didn’t go to no bus stop. I had bigger, more important things to do.

  I rushed down the back path and hopped the fence, moving quick so the neighbor’s pit bull didn’t cause a fuss. My heart raced faster with each yard I cut through until I finally made it.

  The back of the trailer was rusted and pieced together with dry rotted strips of duct tape. He said he kept it that way so people didn’t suspect he had anything nice enough to steal. I said he was smart.

  I knocked on the rickety screen door and it rattled against the frame.

  “Who is it?”

  “Avery.”

  The door flung open and Gavin looked down at me. My eyes traveled up his body to his bare, muscled chest. He was so strong yet so delicate. “Come in.”

  I quickly slipped inside and tossed my books on the cluttered bench seat. “I have the form and I forged my mom’s signature.”

  “It’s seven-thirty in the morning, Avery Dean.”

  Wringing my hands I gave him a pleading look. “Please, Gavin. The deadline’s Friday and this is my only hope of ever getting out of here. I’ll do whatever you want. I just have to get it turned in.”

  His scowl softened. “If this doesn’t work you have other options.”

  This had to work. He was leaving and I’d never survive this place alone. “Please.”

  He sighed. “Go ahead. It’s on. Just wiggle the mouse.”

  Relieved, I smiled and rushed to the back bedroom where he kept his computer. Gavin was the only one in Blackwater who had such technology. He was also the only one I trusted, being that he’d always been tight with my oldest brother, Drew—the only sibling to ever show me kindness.

  I jostled the mouse and the screen lit. There it was, the scholarship essay that was going to get me the hell out of this shithole once and for all.

  When I’d first shown Gavin my scribbled draft he tried not to be too critical, but we were never able to hide things from each other.

  “You can’t send this. Let me toy with it for a while and it has to be typed.”

  Most guys wouldn’t offer such help, but Gavin was different. He didn’t make me blow him or fuck him for his assistance either. He was a little more complicated than that. In exchange for his help on that essay and many other things, I let him touch me, put his mouth on me, fondle and pleasure me.

  I gave Gavin what he needed and he gave me things I never expected to want. In his home, I was free. I was powerful. I was wanted.

  I scrolled through the document, noting the various improvements he’d made. Not only was his vocabulary better than mine, he had everything formatted with proper headings and all the required important information.

  The essay—How My Family has Changed the Way I See the World—was perfect. It was raw and honest and almost painful to read at parts, boasting the right amount of drive with plenty of hardship. Portrayed in a manner that a person would have to be a monster not to empathize with my plight. It was beautiful.

  “What do you think?”

  I blinked up at him and smiled. “I think this might actually work. Thank you.”

  He smiled, his dimple flashing with a good amount of boyish charm. “You need my credit card?”

  “You’re sure about this?” I needed him to be because this was my only option and I’d never be able to pay back the money.

  His fingers softly brushed a strand of hair away from my face. “I’m sure.”

  Gavin had become my one sanctuary. He knew what my life was like at home, had seen enough when Drew still lived here to know there was a reason each one of us counted down the days until we could leave.

  Now, with just Kenny and me left, things were getting unbearable. Momma was drinkin’ all the time and dinner was hardly ever defrosted, let alone hot.

  Gavin fed me, watched TV with me, helped me with homework, he even … loved me. But neither of us ever breathed a word of such feelings out loud. I just knew, like I knew I’d never survive this place alone once he enlisted.

  We filled out the application and attached the scholarship essay. He hesitated just before hitting send and glanced over his shoulder at me. “You want to do the honors?”

  I leaned over his arm and clicked. A swarm of bees teased my insides as the computer made a little whoosh sound and the application was sent. “Now, we wait.”

  His head tilted, his cheek resting on my hip as we both stared at the “message sent” note on the screen. My fingers grazed the stubble of his jaw and he sighed.

  “You’ll get it. I feel it in my gut.”

  I looked down at his face wondering where he found so much faith in me. I wasn’t anyone special. But for some reason, he always believed I was capable of great things, sometimes before I even knew I wanted them.

  Sliding off the chair, he dropped to the floor and kneeled. I stepped back and looked down at him, noting the swollen bulge in his pants. He was the only one I’d ever been with, the only one I could imagine being with. And come April he’d be gone.

  “What do you want?” I’d give him anything, but he didn’t want to know that. He liked to work for every concession, earn every ounce of praise. He’d make a great soldier.

  His gaze remained cast toward the floor, his posture rigid, his arms behind his back and his shoulders lifting with labored breaths. “I want to touch you. Please you.”

  I wasn’t sure what other people did, but this was all I knew. It was everything Gavin confessed to wanting and his fantasies spoke to me the moment I first heard them. “Get on the bed.”

  He climbed onto the mattress and rolled to his back, crossing his hands over his head where a pair of leather studded cuffs draped. He never touched me first. Everything was my choice and he only put his hands on me if I commanded it. I went to the drawer where he kept his other toys.

  He was, without a doubt, the safest person I had in my life and it pained me to imagine him leaving, which was why I had to get the hell out of there, too. “Do you want pain?”

  He sucked in a sharp breath, the sound full of palpable anticipation. “Yes, please.”

  I wasn’t gentle
with him and he preferred I not be. Gavin had his own difficult demons to overcome. He sometimes said the only way to numb the pain of his past was to create pain in the present. I got that. For me, the only way to escape the uncertainty of my present was to take control of the now. Gavin gave me control and I was addicted to the rush that came with his surrender.

  If there was something broken in us, we fixed it for each other. “Spread your legs.”

  My gaze lifted to the ceiling as a tear rolled from my eye. Gavin died in action the November after he enlisted and I rarely let myself think of him. We made a promise the day he left. We were both getting out of Blackwater and neither of us ever wanted to look back, not even for each other. It was survival of the fittest and holding onto the past would be an anchor keeping us there. Nothing about my and Gavin’s relationship was ever meant to be permanent, but he released something inside of me that wouldn’t go away without a fight.

  I had no regrets for the short yet defining time he was a part of my life. He was the one person I wished could watch me graduate in the spring, but that was impossible.

  I rolled to my side and wiped my eyes. There was a reason I didn’t let people in. Friends were wonderful—while they lasted. But when they disappeared there really wasn’t anything like that sort of pain. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to take that kind of risk again. But there was something different about Noah, something even I struggled to resist.

  Chapter Nine

  I was barely awake as I took the elevator to the bottom floor. Last night I’d tossed and turned until I was certain I wouldn’t sleep. Around three in the morning, I decided to release some tension, so I pulled out some heavy artillery.

  There I was, having a nice old time with myself, picturing God knows what, when Noah’s face suddenly popped into my head. He was looking down at me, eyes heavy, mouth crooked in a half grin, strong hands touching my breasts, pinching me, pinning me, and then I was coming.

  Not what I had in mind.

  I passed out for a couple hours until my alarm went off at dawn and now I was zombie-walking my exhausted ass to the gym. Damn Noah. He wasn’t supposed to be in my head and he certainly wasn’t supposed to be in my fantasies. He was ruining everything.

  From now on, I was not going to think about him. If I saw him, fine, I’d be polite. But there would be no down time Noah thoughts. I should have never let him touch me last night.