The Sirens of SaSS Anthology

by Anthology

  My eye widened at this news, as did Lauren’s.

  “You thought no one told me about that? You obviously don’t know the band as well as you claim.”

  "And you don't know her the way you think you do. I'm just trying to protect you, Drew."

  "I said enough," Drew roared.

  Lauren's shoulders slumped. "Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you." She whirled toward the door. "Bitch," she called to me over her shoulder, then disappeared.

  I wasn't sure what to say. "Wow."

  Drew closed his eyes. “I’m sorry about that.”

  “Why are you sorry?”

  “Because I suspect you and I have a history I won’t like, and that she’s a part of it. So, if me going home with you is too much, just say the word. I’d never want to do something to hurt you, and it kills me to think I already have.”

  I closed my eyes and sighed, then looked at him directly. "I still care about you. I would never wish you any harm in any way, despite what the wicked witch tried to suggest. I don't live that far, so it's easier on you traveling, and I have enough space where we can each have some privacy. It’s the best solution, and I honestly don’t mind. We’re both adults. We can handle this."

  He nodded. "I've sensed there was something off between us. It's like the notes are there, but our rhythm is off. You hesitate at my touch. I feel your tension. I don't know what happened, and I don't want to know, at least, not right now. Knowing something drove a wedge between us hurts. But even so, even now, I know I trust you.

  Later, I'd blame it on being overtired, but Drew's honesty stirred up all kinds of emotions I thought I'd buried. Apparently, not deep enough. A tear dripped down my cheek and onto my hand.

  "Don't cry, baby." His thumb slipped over my hand and rubbed the tear away.

  "So, we're doing this?"

  He nodded. "As long as you'll still have me. As you said, we're adults. No matter the circumstances, we can make this work, maybe even find our rhythm again."

  I smiled and clasped his hand between mine. We sat like that for a while, each lost in our thoughts.

  I finally broke the silence. "Can I ask you something?"

  He quirked his eyebrow.

  "Is it weird for you not to remember? I mean, so much has happened that everyone knows but you."

  His sigh sounded tired. "Yeah." He frowned and moved his arm back to his lap, his fingers twisting the sheet. "It's like being given a wrapped box. Everyone else knows what's in it and is anxious for you to open it, only the ribbon around it is tied in so many knots, you can't get past them. It's right at your fingertips, but you're helpless to open it."

  I nodded. "I can't imagine. It must be hard."

  "It's okay. Sometimes I wonder if I want to remember everything." His voice was flat as he stared first at the sheets, then at me.

  I wasn't sure which was the worst burden - remembering or forgetting.

  "Drew, what if you finally get the box open, and you don't like what you find?"

  "That sounds ominous."

  I shrugged, miserable with my knowledge that he didn't share. It felt like a burden, and I wished I could be like him and have it erased.

  "Em, I can't change the past. All I can do is deal with the now. I just need to know one thing. Are you with me in that? No matter what's happened in the past, can you leave it there? Can you help me build new memories while I rebuild my strength?"

  I closed my eyes. His thumb rubbed small circles on the back of my hand sending a shiver through me. There was nothing wrong with my memory, and his touch triggered another flood of them, all centered around how he could make my body sing with the notes of pure, unadulterated pleasure. Could this be a new chance for us? Was it possible to have a different ending? Would he be able to handle the changes that had taken place?

  "Em?"

  Opening my eyes, I smiled at him. "I can do that."

  Chapter Six

  "I think I made a huge mistake!" I was sitting outside of the doctor’s office, waiting to pick up Drew from a check-up appointment.

  "Aw. Is da big bad band man being difficult? Are you not giving him enough cuddles?" Rose's attempt to make me laugh with a baby voice only irked me further. When I didn’t answer, she snorted, and I could picture her rolling her eyes. "Well, did you really think this harebrained idea would be easy?"

  “I didn’t think it would be this hard.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, for starters, he’s cranky because he can’t get around like he wants, and he can’t play the guitar. So, he tries to write some lyrics, but he says he’s not feeling it and stomps off.”

  “I’m sure this is a very frustrating time for him. You just have to be patient with him.”

  “And he’s bitchy about the physical therapy, saying it’s not helping or it hurts.”

  “Sounds like someone else I know,” she said pointedly. When I ignored her, she moved on to another topic. “How is it between the two of you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean living together again after all this time. I mean, injured or not, that man is sexy as hell. It’s got to be hard to be around that, know what it’s like, and not want to get it on.”

  “Who’s getting it on with who?” I heard Justin's voice in the background.

  I heard the muffled sound. "Emma and Drew.”

  "Roooose!!"

  "Sorry. You weren't supposed to hear that."

  I rolled my eyes. My sister wasn't the most tactful. I'm not sure why I even called her with this problem.

  "For what it's worth, Justin says there's no reason not to. You just have to do most of the work."

  I dropped my head onto the table. "Oh, god."

  "I guess the bigger question is, do you want to?"

  "I don't even want to talk about this anymore."

  "Why not? It's because it’s true, isn’t it?"

  I didn't answer. Rose knew me well. She wasn't just my sister; she was my best friend, the one who made it her job to look after me when our parents died unexpectedly, even though we were both old enough we didn't need a guardian. She was there for me after everything happened with Drew, helping me to pick myself up and move forward.

  "It's hard not to. I thought I was strong enough for this, but now..." Now being so close to him reminded me of all the reasons I’d fallen in love with him in the first place. It made it easy to forget what had been said, what I’d seen. “I’m having a tough time separating the Drew from now with the Drew from then.”

  “Are you so sure they’re not the same? I mean, I know you guys had a huge fight, but you just don’t turn off feelings like that. You didn’t.”

  I started to protest, but she cut me off. “Emma, you’re only lying to yourself if you say you’re over him. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if that were true. You’d kick him out on his broken ass if you didn’t truly care. I love you. I’ll be on your side no matter what. But maybe you could use this time to rebuild what you used to have.”

  “Why? So he can remember, and we can fight over the same thing and break up all over again?”

  “A lot can change in a year and a half. You’re a different person. Maybe he is, too. Regardless, if he remembers maybe you’ll get your chance at closure, and you can finally move on for real.”

  I thought about what she said. Maybe she wasn’t so bad at offering advice. I just wasn’t so sure I wanted to move on if it meant without Drew.

  I looked out to see Drew exiting the medical building. “Gotta go. Love you.” I hung up with Rose and watched as he came closer. He was limping a little more than usual, but that was normal after being on his feet for a while. I would have gone up to the doctor’s office to meet him, but I needed to create some space between us.

  “How did it go?” I asked as he maneuvered carefully into the seat.

  “Shitty.”

  I pulled out into traffic, ignoring his attitude. “Why?”

  He stared out the window,
rubbing his leg. “I’m just impatient. I want to get back to playing the guitar. I want to walk without a cane. I want to be able to get around and do things on my own again.”

  “Sick of me already?” I teased.

  “What? No! I’m sorry. I sounded ungrateful. I’m just not used to being confined. And sometimes the therapy hurts, and it sucks, and I sound like a whiny little boy, don’t I?”

  I chuckled. “Yeah. Would it help if I told you I understand?”

  “No.”

  “Well, I do. I was involved in an accident about a year ago. My leg was broken in three places. It was months before I could walk normally again. I started off eager to get better, but it didn’t happen soon enough. If you ask Rose, she’ll tell you I was an absolute nightmare. But, my point is I did get better, and so will you. You just have to stick it out and trust your therapists and doctors.”

  He was staring at me. “You were in an accident?”

  I nodded.

  “Fuck.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest. “I didn’t know. I feel like shit. I should’ve been there for you.”

  “Drew, it’s fine. We weren’t together at the time. There’s no reason you should have known much less been there.”

  His head rolled toward me. “I’m sorry, Emma. Sometimes I wish to hell I knew what happened because that doesn’t sound like me.”

  “Your career was just taking off. You were where you needed to be.”

  He looked back out the window. “Somehow, I doubt that,” he mumbled.

  Chapter Seven

  Drew limped into the kitchen where I was cleaning up some dishes. His shoulder was much better now, and he was able to walk short distances using a cane. His hair was still damp from a shower. I giggled as he drew near.

  When he saw the direction of my gaze, he glanced down and saw what I saw. "Think that's funny, do you? You try dressing with only one good hand." He tried to unbutton his shirt, but I waved his hands away and realigned them, so his shirt hung straight. My fingers felt like thumbs as I felt his heated gaze on me.

  "There," I said, smoothing his shirt. He didn't move, and it was then that I realized I was between him and the counter. Given his increased breathing, he noticed it, too. His eyes darkened, and his head moved just a little closer. I debated staying there, knowing what would happen if I did. I wanted it. I wanted him. But there would be no turning back, and I wasn’t sure I was ready.

  I smiled weakly and ducked around him. “So, there are some leftovers in the fridge. Help yourself. I’ve got a little work to finish up.”

  As I left the kitchen, I hesitated and looked over my shoulder. His hands were braced on the counter, his head dropped. I wondered if he was feeling relief or disappointment.

  A half-hour later, Drew joined me in the living room. "I thought we could watch a movie together," he said.

  "Oh, I was just going to work on a few photos and then grab a shower and go to bed. I’ve been staying up much later than I’m used to." I faked a yawn. "I'm kind of worn out.” Liar. I was too on edge to sleep.

  "What are you doing?"

  "Picking out what I think are the best images to send off to the editor for a travel magazine."

  He came to stand behind me. "They all look good. How do you choose?"

  "Most people who look at this will just see the lake and the think 'oh, how pretty,' and hopefully they'll think they want to go and see it for themselves. But it's my job to find the picture that I think will be most enticing". I pointed to two pictures I had up on my large computer screen. "Look at these. Which do you think looks better?"

  He peered at them over my shoulder, holding the back of my chair for support. I couldn't help but notice how good he smelled after his recent shower. I could feel his warmth, which beckoned to me.

  "They look pretty much the same to me."

  "Look closely at the lake,” I answered hoarsely.

  He leaned over me. I wanted to run my lips across the column of his neck, feel the scruff of his beard against my lips. I sucked in a breath and leaned slightly away. He glanced back at me, a knowing look in his eyes. "I still don't see it."

  I cleared my throat and forced my attention back to the computer screen. "A cloud moved in as I took this one. It wasn't much of one, but enough to cover the sun's glimmer on the water, right here. When you're trying to sell the destination, you're also trying to sell an illusion, so to speak. This one shows a lake with a beautiful background, but this one," I pointed to the one on the right, "makes the lake itself glisten, attracting people to the water, not just the scene. It's lighter. Warmer. More inviting. Now this one," I scrolled to another, "I think there's too much glare. It detracts too much from the scene. Those are the kinds of things I look for. It's not science, except in knowing how the brain unconsciously reacts to certain things."

  Drew didn't back away as he looked at me. "It's kind of like choosing just the right note in a song. Do I go up or down a note? Slow down or speed up? It just depends on the emotion I'm trying to convey. You see things whereas I hear them."

  I nodded. "Exactly. It's our art."

  He finally straightened up, only to turn and sit on the edge of my desk. "Well, maybe you can take a break? I thought we could watch a movie or something."

  I pulled my computer that was now partially hidden by his ass - his nice tight ass. “Not all of us have free time," I muttered.

  "Hey, I didn't ask for this situation."

  "Well, neither did I!"

  I glanced up at him in time to see pain flash across his features. For a change, I didn't think it had anything to do with his leg. Part of me felt guilty. Part felt a familiar anger. None of me wanted to engage this conversation. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it the way that came out."

  He crossed his arms. "No, I think you did. I'm sorry, Emma. I didn't realize being here would be such an infringement. I thought it would be time we could spend together, making new memories to make up for the lost ones. But other than spending time in the car to and from therapy and other necessary moments, you seem determined to avoid me.”

  The angry side won. I stood up from my chair and faced him, able to look him in the eye as he remained perched on my desk. "Oh, tell me this argument is familiar to you, this trying to make me feel guilty.” I poked my finger at his chest. “You always wanted me to put you first. Well, guess what, Drew? The world doesn't revolve around you. I have a life. I've had a life in the past several months that didn’t revolve around you. And I don't have the benefit of some giant eraser to make everything that happened just go away. Even if you can't remember it, I can."

  His eyes glittered as he also stood. "I'll make it easy for you then. I'll find somewhere else to stay, and it'll be like I was never here. You can do whatever the hell you want without me in your way."

  "Fine!"

  "Fine!" His volume matched my own as we glared at each other.

  Then suddenly his arms were around my waist, and my fingers were pulling his head to meet mine. Our lips met and clung for seconds before his tongue delved into my mouth. The world fell away to a place where there was no past, no future, just the present. With a groan, Drew turned us so he could sit in the chair I had just vacated, pulling me to straddle his good leg. Shamelessly, I arched my neck to make it easier for him as his lips nipped their way across my skin leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

  As his lips swept across my collarbone, his fingers slid under my shirt, sliding upward to cup my breasts. "Oh!" I gasped as he caught my nipple between his fingers. He pulled my shirt over my head and immediately lowered his head to my chest. He sucked the tip to a hard peak, then bit it. I cried out again and arched my back over his arm, offering myself to him. He laved the spot with his tongue over my lacy bra to soothe the sting, the material only adding to the amazing sensation he was creating.

  "So sweet," Drew rasped against my skin. "So beautiful." He let his fingers take over teasing my sensitive curves while his mouth returned t
o mine. He nibbled at the sides of my mouth, teasing until I turned my head into his, hungry for more. I clung to his forearms, where toned muscles flexed beneath my palms.

  He slowed the kiss, leaving sweet, gentle kisses on my nose, cheeks, and my forehead before he leaned his head against mine. "I've wanted to do that for weeks."

  I took several deep breaths to calm my ragged breathing. "You have?"

  "Emma, I don't know what happened to make you doubt me. I'm sorry for whatever it was. But I can only tell you what I feel right now, which is no different than what I've always known I feel for you. I love you. I can't begin to fathom how that could change."

  I lifted my head to look into his eyes, which reflected everything he just said. "I..."

  His finger covered my lips. "I know something happened, something that caused a wedge between us. I swear, I’m not asking you to put me first over everything. I never want to take your dreams away. All I'm asking is that you give me a chance to remind you how it used to be, how it still feels to me. I don't remember the past couple of years, but I do know I'm different than I used to be. Something happened to me, too, in that time, Emma. Please, can we use this time to recharge? I know we're not on the same page anymore, and I admit, that hurts. But I want to try. Will you remember with me what it used to be like, what it can be again?"

  I struggled off his leg. I chewed on my thumb, knowing what I wanted to say, yet terrified to commit to it. "I'm scared."

  Drew looked like I'd struck him. "Of me?"

  "Not exactly, but of being hurt by you."

  He grimaced and leaned back in my chair. "So, I did do something."

  I recalled the events that took place. Drew’s words made me see things through a lens not clouded with pride or pain. I shook my head. "We both did. We were both hurt." I reached for his hand. "Are you sure you don't want me to tell you? I'd rather get it out in the open then for you to remember later, be angry with me again, and all this time and effort will be for nothing."