Cut & Blow: Book 1

by Giannoccaro, Ashleigh

  But you are married, Ailee.

  That little voice of reason is getting really annoying.

  I wake up with a stiff back from the way my body had to twist to lie on the couch, my left leg is asleep and my head is pounding with a tension headache.

  My discomfort isn’t only physical as I survey my surroundings, almost expecting to find something out of place. Hauling myself up to get dressed for work, I hope the chaos has all been fixed and we can actually work. Catching up yesterday means we are going to be slammed all day.

  When I get into my room I am confronted by my reason for sleeping on the couch. Bile quickly rises up my throat and I barely make it to hurl into the toilet bowl. I mess all over myself, the smell making me want to puke all over again, so I climb into the shower, pajamas and all. Eventually I peel off the wet clothes and wash myself. I am going to be late and may as well enjoy a good shower.

  With my towel around me I strip my bed, rolling the soiled bedding into a ball, removing the sticky wedding ring using a pencil from my bedside drawer.

  Carrying the bundle to the washer I shove it in, making sure all the mess is on the inside and nowhere near me. I fill the detergent compartment with bleach, neat from the bottle, and turn the machine to its longest, hottest cycle, before I go get dressed. The smell of bleach burns my eyes and nose even after I have brushed my teeth again.

  * * *

  Everywhere I look it seems someone is staring at me. My hair stands on end and I have those prickly tingles up my spine, but I manage to make it through the day at work.

  One client left. One more, then I get to see Trent and can forget about last night, even if it’s just for a short while. I get giddy when I think about him. I’m like a stupid child, smiling just thinking about him … well, him and the X-rated videos we watched yesterday.

  “What’re you doing tonight?” Chelsey asks. Her last appointment just left, so she is done for the day.

  “Trent and I are going to order a pizza, and watch Netflix at his place.”

  “Ooooh, so you decided the fact he likes peen doesn’t bother you that much then.”

  I throw a hairbrush at her for saying that so loud. “Use your filter, woman!” I give her a death glare. “It bothers me, but only because I know. Before I knew, it didn’t, so I’m just pretending I don’t know.”

  “Well, that sounds like a terrible but completely Ailee plan to me.”

  She knows me well. I am amazing at denial tactics. “What can I say?”

  She giggles when my last client comes through with Alistair, she’s here for her perm – yes people still get those. I hate doing them, the smell of perm lotion stings my sinuses and those rollers take an age to put in. Holding in my desire to sigh, I let her sit and put a cape around her neck.

  In an unusual display of helpfulness, Chelsey assists me with her hair. It goes faster with both of us rolling curlers, and while she sits under the dryer for the perm to set we clean up my station. Balancing the bottles and brushes carefully, I carry them to the back to wash. Leaning in the open doorway, with a cheeky smile and jeans that should be classified as a danger to society, is Trent.

  “I’m still working,” I say, as I dump the bottles and brushes into the sink and pull off the black latex gloves that stink of perm lotion and old-lady lavender.

  “I know, I’m just waiting.” He steps inside, closing the space between us. He looks different. His hair is pulled up and he looks at me from under hooded eyes. “I have a date with this hot hairstylist when she gets off work.” His hands snake around me and pull me close, so he can kiss me.

  “I still have a client out there.” His kiss swallows my words and it feels so good, but so wrong – dirty and sexy.

  “She can’t see you here.” His deep voice vibrates through his chest and gives me a rush.

  “GROSS!” Chelsey’s voice is high and loud, and way too close. “Leave, go get a room or whatever, I’ll finish the perm, then you owe me.”

  Trent laughs at her over my head, and says, “Thanks, Chelsey. I’ll buy you lunch sometime.”

  “Sick, no. I don’t eat that vegan shit. And I was talking to my best friend, who is going to be in my debt eternally.”

  Shoving me from behind she shoos us out, forcing me harder against him, igniting the little spark, making me want to dry hump him in the kitchen of my workplace. Trent grabs my ass and guides me out the back, closing the door behind us.

  “You going to follow me in your car?” he asks as we get to where the two cars are parked together in the back lot. “You know, in case you still think I am an axe murderer.”

  We both laugh, but I nod and open my car. The sick feeling that I am not alone is still with me. Looking over my shoulder I survey the space around me, but it’s empty. Shaking off the uneasy shiver, I get in and start the car, ready to follow Trent.

  His smell clings to me on the short drive. Every breath in, it lingers and makes me want him more. This physical chemistry between us is hard to ignore.

  Something short circuits in my head when he gets close to me, like my brain just switches off completely. He is honestly the worst idea I have ever had, and I had a reason to just walk away, yet here I am going to his home. Willingly committing adultery.

  I must be ill, but I think about the mess left on my bed and imagine Trent standing over my bed and cumming on me.

  Picturing it is so arousing that I catch myself swerving into the wrong lane I’m so distracted. Correcting myself and focusing on the road, and his eyes in the rearview mirror of his car, suddenly we can’t drive fast enough.

  It’s like I am running from whatever is following me, chasing something I can’t have, but want so desperately I’ll do anything to have it.

  * * *

  Trent lives on the third floor of an apartment block that’s right between the salon and his school.

  The elevator is out of order and we climb the stairs. I am very aware that he lets me go in front so he can look at my ass. I can feel his eyes boring holes into it. I swing my shoulder bag around so it blocks his view, and he just moves it out the way.

  “I was watching that,” he says, like it’s a TV show and not my ass in his face, which makes me laugh loudly.

  The sound echoes in the hollow stairwell as he lifts me up into a fireman’s hold and carries me the rest of the way upstairs, much faster than I was going.

  I slap his backside and kick my legs like I want to escape, but I don’t, I like this. I like him, and having him touch and hold me feels good, even if he is hauling me upstairs two at time while I shriek. When we stop at his front door, the brass number tarnished and old, he sets me down and unlocks.

  The wood creaks when he pushes it open and says, “Welcome to my home.”

  Walking into the space, it’s old, and the wood finishes and high ceiling show the building’s age. The eclectic furnishings, and odd artworks hanging on the walls in the living space, make it feel homely and warm.

  “You have a beautiful home.” I turn to face where he is closing the door.

  The lock makes a heavy noise as it turns, and when he looks at me I know he doesn’t care what I think of his home, he is undressing me with those eyes. The one-sided smirk makes him look so naughty, like I can see the things running through that mind, things like he did to me on my bed.

  I cross my legs, standing in an awkward position, but I’m getting wet just looking at him. Long, thin legs stalk towards me, as he pulls off his jacket and tie, tossing them onto the sideboard as he passes it.

  “I have many beautiful things, Ailee, but I’m only concerned with one of them right now.”

  Oh. My. God.

  The way his voice changes, deeper, rougher and at the same time softer, has my skin warming up. My cheeks are hot and my mouth goes dry. He is inches away from me. I can smell him. Heat radiates off his body, and his baritone voice is a vibration as he asks me, “Cat got your tongue tonight?”

  The way he says ‘tongue’ has a reel of ima
ges running through my mind of places I’d like him to put his tongue, and there is a kitty involved.

  I shake my head, looking up now to see his face. “No. My tongue is just fine.”

  He takes my face in his hands and runs his thumb across my bottom lip, teasing me, making me want to lick it, show him my tongue is perfectly functional.

  Touching him is natural; my hands run up and down the cotton of his shirt, feeling his warmth beneath it. The tight jeans hug his ass and I grab it when he replaces his finger with his mouth on mine. I stumble as my knees go weak and I’m forced to uncross my legs just to keep my balance, my knickers are soaking and all he has done is kiss me.

  Internally I am screaming for more. I want more!

  Trailing my fingers to the band of his jeans I untuck his perfectly pressed shirt, so I can touch his skin beneath it. He pulls away and I am left gasping for air, and dripping for more.

  “Now we know your tongue is working, shall we test just how well?”

  He needs to shut up. I’m going to orgasm from his voice alone. I don’t know what he is alluding to, but all I want to do this second is free his cock from those jeans and show him how well it works. Popping the button and slowly, one tooth at a time, opening the zipper, not breaking eye contact, I slide my hands into his pants.

  The tight boxer briefs are soft and my fingers trace up the length of his still covered erection, making it pulse. His soft groan grumbles and I drop to my knees, taking his undies down with me. Never, in all my days, have I wanted to go down on a man this badly. Usually it’s a chore, one of those because you have to things, but right now I am ready to swallow the teacher’s cock whole.

  “What are you doing, Ailee, you don’t have to. That’s not what I …” I don’t let him finish, because I don’t want to talk, or care what he does or doesn’t mean, so lick his shaft from the base to the tip. “Jesus fucking Christ, woman.” He growls just before I take all of him into my mouth, which shuts him up very quickly.

  With my fingernails digging into his ass I lick, suck, and mouth fuck him, while he holds my hair back, guiding my movements with it. He is getting bigger in my mouth, and I know the point of no return isn’t far off. Short, sharp breaths, and the look in his eyes when I look up at him, reward my effort.

  “I’m sorry, I know you have a date, but I need my laptop.”

  I nearly bite his penis off I get such a fright, but he rams forward lodging it in my throat, gagging me.

  “Shit, fuck, shit. Oh, God. I’ll just go.”

  The front door slams and Trent frees me from his grip. He’s gone soft and I’m so shellshocked that the mood has completely gone. I stand and he pulls up his pants.

  “Who’s that?” I ask, my voice shaking with anger, confusion, and embarrassment.

  “My roommate, Seth,” he says, his face as red as mine. “Shit, I’m sorry.” I want to punch him when he smiles. “Seth!” he yells over his shoulder. “You can come in now.”

  I’m bright red with mascara running down my cheeks; real blow job face. My lipstick is probably smeared too, so I stay hidden behind Trent. The door closes again, softer this time.

  I don’t want to look, but I do. A man in a brown-suede jacket, with sandy-blond hair and a short beard, is standing at the entrance to the apartment; his pale skin makes his red cheeks shine like a night-light.

  “Sorry, man, you said you had a date. I should have knocked. I forgot my laptop. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” He looks anywhere but at us, and when he does I see a pair of soft, sad eyes, hidden behind his mortification.

  “No problem, Seth …” Trent steps aside so I’m no longer hidden. “This is Ailee, my um – my girlfriend. Ailee, this is Seth, my roommate with terrible timing and no manners.”

  ‘Girlfriend’ is bouncing like a bouncy ball gone wild in my head, and freezes me to the degree that I rudely ignore the poor man.

  “Hi, Seth,” I answer after an awkward silence.

  When he looks at Trent, the bouncy ball falls like a lead balloon. His roommate is a guy, a guy who’s looking at him like his feeling are hurt. What the fuck?

  “I’m going to grab this and go.” Seth moves Trent’s clothes on the sideboard, grabs his laptop bag and retreats backwards, looking at us, making this even more uncomfortable than it already is. The door closes and we are alone again.

  Instantly I relax. I didn’t realize I’d gone so stiff standing here. Before he can even turn around and face me, the emotions that I have lost control of take over and irrational thoughts explode like a box of fireworks in my head. Stinging tears burn my eyes as I fight not to cry. I’m such a fool.

  “Why didn’t you tell me your roommate was around?” My shaky voice is high pitched.

  “I told him to stay away, that I was bringing a girl home.” He tries to touch my face, but I step back. “He was not supposed to be here. That shouldn’t have happened, I’m sorry.”

  I feel the first tear rolling down my cheek. “Is he your boyfriend? You said you only date one person at a time? He looked upset.” I start to yell, because yelling is better than angry crying.

  “Fuck, Ailee, no. He’s not my boyfriend. I’m only dating you.” He tries to touch me again and then takes his hand away. “Rent is damn expensive, Ailee. I’m a teacher. I can’t afford this place without a roommate. I can assure you that the Seth and Trent ship sank a long time ago.”

  “So you were dating him?” I shove him out the way and start barreling towards the door, grabbing my bag on the way past. “You know what, I can’t do this, Trent. I can’t even understand this whole man and woman thing. I just can’t.” I’m embarrassed and angry, and the need to escape is overwhelming me.

  “God! Ailee, just stop for one fucking minute and let me talk to you.” He catches up to me before I can even get to the door, and this time he grabs hold of me and halts me. “Just stop, give me a chance.”

  “You just blew your chance, Trent. Coming here tonight was your chance.” I’m crying, I shouldn’t be crying but I can’t stop myself. “I fell for you. I got all these fucking feelings and you just proved to me why relationships are a terrible idea. You hurt me. Let me leave, I don’t care what you are going to say.”

  But he doesn’t let me go, he pulls me up against him and holds me there, his arms tight around me. I lose the fight, giving in to the tears.

  “When I first moved here I was dating Seth. We lasted a whole week as a couple. We stay together because neither of us can afford to rent a decent place on our own. We don’t have feelings anymore, he’s moved on and so have I – with you. We are friends, that’s all. He has a boyfriend, a serious boyfriend; they’ve been dating for nearly a year now. I didn’t say anything because there is nothing to say. I am not with anyone but you. I called you my girlfriend for fuck’s sake.”

  He’s just trying to play me, to get me back on my knees with his dick in my mouth. He’s lying. But as much as I keep telling myself that, I melt into him. I feel safe and believe his words even if they aren’t the truth. I want them to be, because I so desperately want him. I want this, I want us. This safety of being held, a net to catch me, something I have never had.

  “Talk to me, Ailee, say something. Anything.”

  Twisting myself to avoid looking at him, I answer, “What do you want me to say, Trent?” I give up the fight to get away from him. My body goes limp and the tension leaves my muscles. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to all of this. It’s confusing.”

  “What do you feel? Because I can’t let you walk out that door if there is even one small chance you are feeling what I feel. You don’t have to understand it. I’m just a regular guy, like any other guy you’ve dated.”

  “I’ve never dated anyone, Trent. I have never had a boyfriend.” The half-truth comes out my mouth, the lie stays inside me. I swallow it with my fears about him, because he’s right, this feels different.

  “Let’s sit and talk, Ailee, just talk, nothing else. You can ask me anything, I’ll
answer. I don’t want to let go. I am falling for you, hard and fast.” He guides me, back to the living room and to the big, brown leather sofa.

  My body sinks into the soft seat and he sits beside me, leaving a space between us, not touching me at all.

  * * *

  Five questions into the conversation Trent starts asking me about my family, and I immediately wanted to run again. He’s going to find out and I will lose this, whatever it is.

  Instead of answering him, or asking him more questions, I put my concerns aside. I am, after all, the one hiding things, and suddenly just talking changes into not talking and just touching.

  Touching leads to sex on the sofa, sex in the kitchen and eventually sex in his bed, where we fall asleep, him holding me close while I listen to his heart beating until my heavy eyes close.

  I used sex to avoid telling him anything about myself, and the guilt keeps me awake when he is fast asleep. I doze for a short while, then dreams of Rainieri and my Father wake me. My body is covered in sweat and my pulse is arcing like a freight train.

  When the sun rises I am already awake, wrestling my inner demons, convincing myself I can do this, listing the reasons I should run away and all the ones that I want to stay for.

  “Shit, I didn’t set an alarm.” Trent sits up straight in the bed, the sheets falling off his body to give me another look at all of him. “I’m going to be late for school if I don’t get up.”

  It’s like a challenge to my inner child and I straddle him, planting kisses on his chest and neck before I up the stakes and kiss him hard, grinding against him.

  “Ailee, I want to. So fucking badly, but I cannot be late for work.”

  I’ll be late too. I still need to go home for clean clothes, no way I can do the walk of shame into work. With Chelsey there I’d hear about it all day. I slide off him and pout.