Cut & Blow: Book 1

by Giannoccaro, Ashleigh

  The head of his dick is hot, much hotter than his fingers, also softer when it nudges against me. Instinctively I tense up, the fear of pain still here, but he has no concern for my fear.

  Trent enters me in one excruciating thrust, ripping the scream from me, a hand over my mouth muffling it. As he moans deep his head is above mine. I don’t have time to breathe in and he pulls out and slams into me again. The pain is unbearable, yet my traitorous body responds with a hard dick and the desire to shove back and take more.

  You can watch this on a porno, but nothing can prepare you for the feeling of this carnal, brutal need. When you fuck a woman it’s a soft beautiful creature you care for and enjoy, but this is wild and hard, and I want it to stop, but I don’t.

  “Fuck,” I growl as soon as his hand is off my face.

  “I am fucking you, Rain. And it is better than I dreamed of last night.” Trent pants the words between strokes.

  Neither of us last very long, the tension and teasing of the entire day erupts. As I feel him shooting his load inside me, I explode onto the front of the drawers I’m bent over. He pulls out and I can feel him dripping out of me.

  Suddenly bereft and exposed I want to cover myself up, hide my shame, but he slaps my ass and steps away.

  “Goodnight, Rain.” He cackles and I hear his footsteps as he leaves the kitchen.

  Standing, I pull up my pants and put the olive oil bottle back in its correct spot, wiping the mess I made with the cloth that hangs at the washbasin, then throwing it in the trash.

  I wait at the end of the hallway, trying to put myself back together. All I want is a shower to wash him off me, along with my disgrace.

  After a few moments I walk towards our room, and when I pass his he is sprawled out on the bed in his boxer briefs, with a shit eating grin on his face like he just won.

  I ignore it and lock my bedroom door. I don’t understand how Ailee can want to be treated that way, and I wonder if he treats her like this when they fuck, stripping her of her dignity and soul.

  A quick glance at her and I see her in a different light. I see how what I did five years ago has scarred her, changed her, and hurt her.

  My shame is amplified and I leave her to go shower.

  Eighteen

  Tint

  AILEE

  I wake in the night to find Rain has pulled me closer and his arm is wrapped firmly around me. I feel the rise and fall of each of his breaths, noticing that slowly mine begin to keep time with his.

  As my eyes adjust to the darkness, I gaze at his features. They are hidden now behind the beard, but I can still remember his strong jaw and the dimple on his left cheek when he smiled at me. He didn’t smile for long before I set him off into a rage, but when he saw me in the church he smiled.

  He was handsome then, and even though he was so much older than me I still looked at him and thought he was attractive. My anger and selfishness blinded me to that, all I saw was this man stealing me from my life. I looked at what he would take, not what he could have given. Lunch showed me a side of his family I have never seen.

  Moving so that I am comfortable again, I try to fall asleep, but his heavy arm across my chest is making it difficult to breathe. I can’t stop thinking that I need to talk to Trent, to make him understand that I still love him, that I don’t want this.

  Rainieri isn’t what I want. This marriage wasn’t a choice, and it’s not a marriage simply because we spent thirty-six hours together over five years ago. I contemplate sneaking out and going to Trent, but I’d have to escape the embrace that Rain has me in and I’m afraid to anger him.

  When I wake again in the morning, the room is lighter and I am alone. I hear the shower running so I know he hasn’t gone far. Glancing at the red numbers on the clock beside the bed, I see it’s still early and I have enough time to get ready for work, but I need to talk to Trent.

  When I pull on the door handle it doesn’t open, and remember hearing him lock it. I also remember him putting the key in the drawer next to the bed.

  Stopping to hear if he is coming – the water is still going – I open the small drawer and look inside. The key is there on top of a photograph. It’s a picture of me and Trent on my bed, having sex. I can see there are others in there beneath it, and my stomach revolts at the idea of him lying here wanking to them.

  I grab the key and slide the drawer shut quietly.

  * * *

  Trent’s door is closed and I put my ear against it to listen. He’s usually up early to get ready for school. I know his Sunday routine and I know he will feel horribly unprepared for the week after not having his weekend to rest and prepare his lessons.

  I knock softly but there is no answer, so I open the door slowly and step inside. He is dressed already, his hair still wet from the shower, and when he looks at me my heart sinks with sadness. It used to flutter with a thousand butterflies, but the last two days have exterminated them all. He smiles softly at me, not like he did last night.

  “Morning, Sunshine.” He greets me almost as if we aren’t prisoners in my husband’s home.

  “Hi.” I step closer and shut the door behind me. “I wanted to talk to you. I’ve wanted to talk to you since Saturday night.”

  He collapses down onto the edge of the bed, sitting staring at me, and he looks guilty, like he’s the one who has done something wrong. Sitting down beside him, I kiss his cheek gently. He smells like home, like happiness in the morning, like everything safe. I lean against his shoulder and he puts his arm around me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper softly.

  “Me too. You could have told me, Ailee. Explained it to me, at least tried. Why did you let it get so far, why did you let me fall in love with you?” He sounds hurt, more than angry now.

  “I was afraid I’d lose you. I thought he didn’t want me. He never showed any signs of wanting me. The last time I saw Rain he dropped me off in front of my father’s house, the day after we were married. He never saw me, or spoke to me again, after that.” I want him to understand that I wasn’t trying to hurt him, I didn’t see this coming at all.

  “You know what he wants from me, don’t you, Ailee?” He lifts my chin so I can look in his eyes. “You know I had to make a deal with him, that he threatened you – and me.” Cupping my cheeks in his hands, he rests his forehead against mine. “I don’t want him to hurt you.”

  They are both hurting me … all of this hurts.

  “I am angry, Ailee, and I get to be angry because you have put our lives in danger. You lied to me, so for now I get to be angry if I need to be angry. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

  “I know. I’m sorry, Trent, but please, just try to understand. I love you, not him – you. Only you.”

  “Did he tell you what he wants, Ailee?” I shake my head because Rain really hasn’t told me much more than I am his wife. “He wants you to love him. He wants me to help him win your heart. He wants us, all three of us, to be together.”

  A switch flips and I snap back at him. “I will never love Rain, he’s a monster. He is the opposite of you, Trent. That what happened on Saturday night in the room, it won’t happen again. Ever. It makes me sick thinking of it.”

  I don’t know what exactly it is, but something in the way his face changes in reaction to what I am saying stops me, and the penny drops so loudly I can hear it spinning on the floor inside my head. I pause for a long while just looking at him, and he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t reassure me that he won’t force me like that again.

  He is silent, but my mind roars.

  “Trent, are you attracted to my husband? Was this some elaborate plan all along? Is that why you agreed to this insanity, because you want him? I saw you in the kitchen last night, you were into that, so was he. Tell me right fucking now what is going on.” I am almost crying by the time I get it all out.

  I asked Rain last night; maybe he lied. Maybe I am crazy.

  “Ailee, he is a very attractive, persuasive ma
n, what’s not to be attracted to? You can’t tell me you don’t look at him and see what I see. To me he’s the opposite of your soft beauty, your feminine curves. He is hard and manly, and something in that makes me want him. You knew I liked men too. I told you. I was honest, unlike you.” He pushes my messy hair out of my face, looking at me like I am the center of the universe, only I am not anymore. “We can make this work if you just try, Ailee. Just trust me.”

  “Are you fucking mad?” I push him away slightly. “I trusted you. I love you and you’re going to do this? You are going to ask me to share you with him!”

  I start to cry again. I thought all my tears had gone and yet more pour out of me. This cannot be happening, it can’t.

  “No, Ailee. I am asking you to let me save our lives, because the alternative really isn’t pretty. I am asking you to trust me. I love you.” He kisses my forehead, then my wet cheeks.

  The touch melts me and I remember how good he feels.

  Pulling me closer, he kisses me. For a fleeting moment I remember the way he kissed Rain, but I close my eyes and wish the thought away as his touch thaws my defenses.

  Before I can stop him his hands are under my shirt, touching me, pinching my nipples and making it impossible to think. Trent has known from the very first time how to turn my body against me, to make me like things I shouldn’t. Touching me, talking to me in a way that strips me of my fight, my stubbornness is no match for the things he can do with his hands and mouth.

  He has shaved his face this morning and it’s smooth against my skin where he kisses me. Wetness soaks into my yoga pants, because I still have no underwear on, and I close my thighs tightly together trying to ease the need.

  “Trust me, baby, I want you. I still want you.”

  The gravely tone of his voice only makes the desire for him to touch me, worse. Lifting me so he can pull down my pants, he shoves them over my legs so I can kick them off easily. Trent pushes me onto the bed and stands up between my spread legs; he’s looking at me the way a hungry lion looks at a little gazelle.

  I like that look, the one he gets when we are about to fuck.

  He unbuttons his khaki pants and inches the zip down. I’m not the only one who isn’t wearing any underwear. With his cock hard and jutting out he comes closer, and I lick my lips in anticipation of having it slide into my wet pussy.

  The glint in his eye lets me know that I won’t get what I want immediately. No, he’s enjoying this. Secretly I hope it’s enough to make him forget about Rain, to remember I love him and that this might be a Band-Aid on his anger.

  His hand wraps around my neck and the tenderness is a sharp reminder of last night and just how angry he is, but now he doesn’t strangle me like he would normally, he just holds me here. Two fingers from his other hand slip inside me without any resistance, as my soaking sex just opens for them to glide in and out.

  His thumb rubs circles over my clit and I thrust forwards, wanting more. When I tighten around his fingers, close to cumming, he pulls them out and sticks them in my mouth, shoving them deep so I gag as I suck them clean, and he grunts his appreciation. When he takes them out, he bends over me and kisses my mouth, savoring the taste of me on my lips.

  I have my hands in his hair, holding his head so I can devour him as he pushes his cock into me, slowly, little by little. My hungry cunt squeezes it tightly. The last little bit enters in one hard thrust, hitting me deep enough to hurt and make me arch suddenly, breaking our kiss.

  His hand is back around my throat and the loving look is gone from his eyes. I struggle to draw breaths against the pressure on my neck, and each hard stroke is done to hurt me. I try to cry out but a slap lands on my breast, stinging and making my eyes water. Scratching at my neck I attempt to pry his hand loose so I can get air into my lungs, my legs now kicking and pushing to escape the assault.

  The lock on the door makes a noise and he lets go, bending down, still fucking me, his whole body pushing me into the bed.

  With a hand over my mouth he whispers a gruff “shh” in my ear. He looks over his shoulder, it can only be Rain.

  “What’s the matter, Rain? You want to join us? I don’t mind moving my dick to her ass so you can fuck her too.”

  There is nothing loving about his words and I let out a soft whimper, because I don’t know if they are together in this endeavor to destroy me. I can’t let them win. He glares down at me as I try to control the fear.

  I have watched slow motion sport’s replays before, and this is like one of those as Trent suddenly flies off me, his body lifted in the air then falling down beside me, one leg pinning me as it lands over mine. The butt of Rain’s gun is a loud crack when it makes contact with Trent’s temple.

  While he recovers from the blow to the head Rain grabs me, pulling me up and towards where he stands, his hand on my face, he turns it to Trent and yells. “Look at it!”

  Trent won’t make eye contact with me.

  “It’s mine!” Rain’s voice comes out as a bellow, bouncing off the walls and ringing in my ears. “My ring on her finger. Mine.” He raises the gun to my boyfriend who still won’t look me in the eye, and says, “You should have listened to me. I told you she was mine. I let you fuck me! I did it to fucking save her and you still tried to take what is mine.”

  The sound of the bullet firing deafens me and I feel myself swaying, crumpling to my knees as the painting on the wall behind him is coated in red spatter and pieces of Trent’s brain.

  This happened before, I remember it. Rain did this before.

  “You are my wife, mine. And it’s about fucking time you acted like it.”

  He lifts me up off the floor and carries me back to his bedroom, and into the shower.

  Rain dresses me as I sit motionless at the end of the bed. He combs my wet hair and pulls it up into a top knot. He puts lipstick on my lips so the paleness isn’t so obvious.

  Standing me up, he walks me to his car, opens the door and helps me in. I just see red, and the shrill sound of that shot echoes in my head.

  Instead of my father’s front door, this time Rain walks me into work. I am late and I’ve missed my first appointment. Everyone is looking at us and Chelsey comes barreling towards me, but stops short when she sees my face.

  He kisses my cheek and leaves me there in the middle of the salon, surrounded by my friends. They stare and whisper, and look from me to him in shock and horror.

  “Where have you been? I called you a million fucking times, woman! And who is that? Where is Trent?”

  I don’t answer Chelsey. I just walk straight towards the office in the back where I see Gina looking at me from behind her desk.

  Nineteen

  Perm

  AILEE

  The door closes behind me and the antiquated blinds scrape against the glass, making an awful noise.

  Gina is looking at me with an apologetic expression; she knows who he is. And I’m almost certain she knows why he dropped me off and marched me inside this morning.

  I lean against the door hoping to keep everything out. I’m panting like I just ran a marathon, trying to get my heart to beat slower.

  “Ailee? Are you okay?” Gina asks, standing up from behind her cluttered desk.

  I shake my head – no I am not okay. Do I look okay?

  “What happened this weekend?” She walks around the desk towards me, where I cower like a dog in an animal shelter afraid of human contact.

  “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t know if I can talk about it.” My voice shakes, and she reaches her hand out and takes mine. Leading me to the faded pink chairs, she sits me down.

  Gina goes back to the door, cracks it, and calls out through the small gap, “Alistair, you useless cunt, cancel or move all of Aliee’s clients for today.” I can’t hear it but he must have talked back to her. “I didn’t ask you to bitch about it, just fucking do it.”

  The door slams closed, rattling the glass, scraping the blinds and making me jump in my seat.
She sits down in front of me and takes my hands in hers in an attempt to comfort me.

  “You can talk to me, Ailee. I begged him not to do anything. I tried to protect you, but you are stubborn girl.”

  I just look at her.

  She didn’t protect me. No one did. No one ever has.

  “Are you alright? You have bruises on your neck. I will help you cover them up before you go back out there.” Pulling my hand from hers I touch my throat, and the sensitive skin pangs with pain when I press it. “Did Rain hurt you?” I shake my head, because he didn’t, not really. “You have been strangled. Don’t lie to me, Ailee.”

  “It wasn’t him.” I swallow, because I’m not ready to admit who it was or how wrong I was about him. “It was, it was …” The tears come now and I can’t stop them no matter how hard I try. “Something happened to him, he got so angry, it was like he wasn’t even him. I fell in love with him, then in an instant there was this other person in his body.” I wrap my arms around myself, holding the pieces that are falling apart. “He was so angry when he found out about Rain, he wanted to hurt me for lying to him.

  “Ailee, where is Trent now? I don’t want him coming near here if he hurt you.” Her voice is soft, but serious.

  “He’s not coming here, Gina, and you warned me. You said this would happen. I should be sad and I want to be sad, but I’m not. He went crazy, they both did. Like when you give two toddlers one toy to share. Inevitably one is going to smack the other on the head with it.” My leg bounces with nerves and my hands shake. “He’s dead.” I say the words, but they don’t sound real, they shouldn’t be real. “Rain shot him in the head, this morning, after he hurt me.”

  Gina’s eyes close and she shakes her head slightly. She told me he would end up as fish food, and now he is.